This story is a fan-fiction of MLP:FiM. I don't own any of it. It belongs to Hasbro, etc, etc.
Don't sue. Seriously. That would be so uncouth.
“About a month before the Grand Galloping Gala, Puck was sent to Hoofston on patrol.”
“Why?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Well, Luna just likes to keep us on our hooves.” Ditzy answered. “But it was the same for Ganymede.”
“Yep, and when you have two Lunar Battalion units in your town, it's either because you're in big trouble, or your boring.”
“And Luna sure does love to brighten up a pony's night.”
“And we help that cause with our antics.” I said with a wide smile.
Hoofston is out in the west, much like Appleoosa, but a litter farther south. Because of that it's pretty hot and is out of the way; thus, it doesn't get many tourists. Many bureaucratic ponies in Canterlot thought that it was to become a ghost town, and when I first entered the town I had to agree with them.
A dusty tumble weed blew across the western town's street. The dusty street was surrounded on both sides by dusty wooden homes. Everything in this town looked brown and wind-worn, just like the canyon you had to go through to get here. The main road my team and I traveled down shimmered with the heat from the noon-day sun.
“What a lovely ho-dunk town cap'n.” said Solitary Shadow.
“Could you be any less rude?” Oakleaf replied.
I nodded to a pony packing up a wagon as we walked down the street. He nodded back and went back to packing.
“I don't know. I don't think it's that bad. Just a little.....drab.” I said aloud.
“You could say that again.” Solitary muttered under his breath before Oakleaf punched him in the shoulder.
“Stop it. I'm serious. I've really had enough of your rudeness.” Oakleaf said angrily.
“Oooo, ain't you though! Go ahead, make my day.” Solitary egged her on.
Now you ponies have to realize, Oakleaf and Solitary weren't usually at each others throats. Most of the time, they were best of friends, always trying to involve me in a prank war or two, just because they knew I had the best ideas. The only time they fought was when it was hot out.
I sighed and was about to break them up, but luckily, Syringe got there first.
“Solitary, would you come back here with me? I need some help finding a full map of the town.” Syringe interceded, pretending to look intently through his saddlebags. Solitary just grumbled and walked over to him. I fell back and walked next to Oakleaf.
Oakleaf first glared at me, for she hated any indication that she was weak, but then her expression softened and she leaned against me. She sighed and I could feel how hot she truly was. Her coat felt hotter than the dusty dirt we walked upon.
Coming from Stalliongrad, I thought of this heat as a little blessing, but Oakleaf was born in Maredrid, and blamed this for her hate of the heat. I found it a ridiculous excuse, since Maredrid is close to the equator, but she grew up in the mountains. Still, it wasn't even close to as cold as Stalliongrad.
Either way, I knew Puck unit couldn't stay out in this heat for much longer. I stopped walking and glanced around, but the main road seemed to go on forever thanks to the heat mirages. I squinted through the waves of heat and found a sign on one of the buildings. To my luck, it was the town's saloon. Not only was it a good place to get out of the heat, but my team could relax and refresh.
“Come on everypony. I see the saloon up ahead. Double-time!” I shouted trying to invigorate my soldiers. Oakleaf stood up straight and gave a relieved sigh that we were almost there. I cast a glance at her and was surprised at her. She looked like she was melting!
I led my team into a brisk canter, to chase some of the lethargy away, but the air was thick and only weighed us down as we ran. Luckily, the saloon was closer than it looked. Those heat waves distorted everything, but they disappeared as we entered the saloon.
Three lazy fans turned slowly on the wooden roof of the saloon. It was dark and cool inside compared to the outside heat, but the humidity still permeated through the walls of the building. We walked into the saloon and there were few customers there. The bartender and a the scant other occupants of the bar watched us with boredom. We pulled out the stools lining the bar counter and sat down.
“Ten waters please.” I asked the bartender. We may have been in a bar, but there was no drinking on a mission, period.
“Awww, but I wanted a chocolate milk!” whined Solitary. The rest of the team and I groaned.
“Ten waters right?” asked the bartender looking straight at us.
“Yeah, that's what I said.”
“Ok. I'm gonna have to go in the back to get them.” he said a little loudly. He quickly went through two swinging doors on the other side of the counter. The other ponies sitting at the bar got up and went to a table occupied by the only other patron in the bar. I started to wonder at their weird behavior. Something was up........
“ATTACK! ATTACK! FIRE ALL LAZERS!!!!!” shouted a familiar voice from behind the counter as ten ponies popped up, each holding the hoses that the bartender would use to fill drinks. I found my self face to face as Ditzy Doo and the rest of Ganymede unit sprayed my soldiers with water. I could hear Oakleaf sigh in relief as she was drenched in water, but the rest of the team wasn't so compliant. I sputtered and chocked a little until the water stopped. I wiped away the water from my eyes and saw Ditzy's lovely golden eyes staring straight into mine.
“How ya doing Mooney! You look like you're flooded with work.” she said cheerfully as she leaned onto the counter. The rest of Ganymede stopped with her and followed her lead, talking to Puck unit.
“Nice pun.” I said flatly. “You know I once entered a pun contest....”
“Yeah, I entered ten puns.”
“So how did you do?”
“Well I wanted to win, but no pun in ten did.”
She stared at me for a second, contemplating what I just said. A goofy grin spread along her face and she broke into a fit of giggles. She reached out and pinched my cheeks with her hooves.
“Such a cute colt you are.” she said before smacking me gently.
“You know, we're not gonna let you get away with this.”
“Oooh, you sound like the Batmare. Ok, I got this. Why so serious batsy?”
I shook my head at my friend's craziness. “Seriously, we're gonna get you back for this.”
Ditzy leaned closer until she was almost touching my forehead with hers. “Try to catch me. GANYMEDE, ESCAPE PLAN ALPHA! GO, GO, GO!”
Each pony behind the bar picked up their hooves and threw down a soot pellet. They exploded into a cloud of black dust on the bar and stuck to our wet faces and manes, blinding us as they left. I coughed like the others in my unit and cleared my eyes of soot. I looked around the saloon as the dust settled. Ganymede and Ditzy were nowhere in sight.
Oakleaf looked at me with big eyes and I started to laugh. Her entire face was a puff of black compared to her normally leafy-green coat. The base of her long brown mane was a shock of black as well.
Oakleaf knew what I was laughing at. “You should look at yourself before you start laughing!”
I looked around for a mirror of some sort and found it in a clear bottle of vodka on the other side of the bar counter. I could see a distorted reflection of a stallion with a blood-red mane that had a globby black in it as well as in his shiny silver coat, making him look like he had spilled paint onto his face. I chuckled at myself. Muffin-head had got us good, and there was no doubt she had more coming. Knowing her, this was just a warm-up. I looked down the bar to my soaked and stained compatriots and I fell off my stool laughing when I saw Solitary Shadow. Since his coat was black, Ditzy had given the pony that ambushed him a different colored smoke pellet. Instead of his face being a darker shade of black, it was an unfashionable shade of florescent green. Ditzy had thought of everything!
I got up off the ground when the others started to get our of their stools and look at each other. I heard snickering coming from the corner of the bar. I looked over to see the three occupants of the bar, plus the bartender all watching us. I walked over to them with a smile on my face.
“She told you we were coming, didn't she.”
The bartender, and elderly southern pony, said “Eeyup” with a thick drawl.
“Did she pay you blokes off or something o' that sort?” Solitary asked from beside me.
One of the ponies broke out laughing and fell backwards out of his chair.
“Nope, just promised us some entertainment.” said one of the customers, chuckling.
I rolled my eyes. Of course, promise a show in this boring town, and you can get anything.
“So do you fellas know where she went?” asked Oakleaf from my other side.
“Not at all.”
I sighed and walked back to the bar. The rest of Puck waited for commands.
“Got any ideas ponies?”
“We could do the old poo in a burning bag.”
“We don't know where their headquarters is Solitary.”
“Right. Sorry cap'n.”
“I saw we go get them from the air!” said one of the three pegasi, Thunderhead Flash.
“By doing what?”
“Well, they colored us with this stuff, so why don't we return the favor?”
I was intrigued by this notion.
“Alright, Flash take the other three and go find them from the air. Come back as soon as you see them go into a building.” They saluted and sprinted out the saloon's front door and we could hear them take off. I pulled everypony else into a huddle. “ First we're gonna clean off our faces and then this is what we're gonna do......”
Three hours later, I had all of Puck unit stationed up in groups of two on top of the roofs of buildings around Hoofston's only spa. Oakleaf and I were grouped together and all of us had our eyes trained on the building and Thunderhead and the other pegasi were on it's roof. We waited in the hot afternoon heat, ready to strike the on cue.
Thunderhead had come back to the saloon half an hour after I had sent them to find Ditzy and the rest of Ganymede. Thunderhead had told me he caught glimpses of them sneaking into the spa, exuberant that they had pranked us so easily. After a short stop at Hoofston's hardware store, I was ready to change that.
Ditzy came out of the spa laughing and joking with her lieutenant, and earth pony named Heavy, apparently from Moosecow, by his accent. He was a huge pony, but easy to laughter. Ditzy looked beautiful with her golden mane brushed down one side of her head, falling across her back to the other side. I smiled wickedly as the rest of Ganymede walked out of the spa. This was exactly what I was looking for.
As she and Ganymede came closer to us, I gave the hoof signal to Thunderhead. He nodded and rose precariously from the roof of the spa. He and the other pegasi were leaden with a heavy load. They flew up higher into the air, and then coasted down in an diving-bomb arc towards out targets. I signaled to the rest of my unit, all on other roofs to get ready. I pulled my bucket of projectiles closer to myself as I tensed up.
Thunderhead started the signal when he got close enough to the unit we were attacking.
“Wheeeewwww.” he whistled as he deposited his load onto the unsuspecting ponies. The other two pegasi followed suit and Ganymede was soon in chaos.
The blue water balloons struck their marks truly, exploding on them. However, instead of covering them in drenching water, Ganymede was covered in bubble-gum pink paint.
“TAKE COVER!” screeched Ditzy as she wiped paint from her eyes. It was too late sadly. We all popped up from our spots on the roofs and attacked, throwing our own balloons at them, coating them with even more paint.
I laughed maniacally while Ganymede huddled against a door to a closed store. “Told you we'd get you back! MUWAHAHAHA!!!!!!”
I heard a click and the door opened up.
“This isn't over yet Mooney!” declared a pink Muffin-head as she and Ganymede filed into the store and closed the door behind them.
Thunderhead landed next to me. “Should we chase after them?”
“No let them go. It wouldn't be fun to beat them now. Let's give them a fight chance, huh.”
“I don't think that's the greatest of ideas Crimson.” Oakleaf said.
“Pffft.” I waved my hoof. “What could she do?”
Late that night, I was asleep in the hotel we had booked for our selves. I and Solitary shared a room, and the rest of Puck was paired away in room around ours. I was deep asleep, feeling the heat of the night even in my sleep. Because of the heat, Solitary and I left the room's only window open that night. That was our downfall.
I woke from my sleep when I thought I heard something in the dark night. I opened my eyes to blearily look around the room, but I didn't see anything. I rested my head back onto my pillow and started to drift back asleep, when a blazing light lit up the room and I was hit with something cold, slimy, and smelly.
My eyes shot open when another one of the things hit my face and I heard evil laughter. I saw Ditzy throwing oddly shaped things at Solitary and I while Heavy held the bucket of these things. Another hit my head and instead of falling off stuck to my cheek by a long rubbery appendage. I slowly came to realize what it was as Ditzy threw the last one at me before jumping out the window. Heavy followed after her and didn't quite fit through, breaking the window as he jumped.
I shot up from my bed and printed to the window. I saw Ditzy flying away, holding Heavy buy the hooves as I heard quick hoofsteps running down the hall outside our door. Ganymede had pulled off a full on night-time assault.
I held up one of Ditzy's weapons and shouted after her vanishing form.
“WHERE THE BUCK DID YOU GET SQUIDS?!?!? BUCKING SQUIDS!!!!!!!!”
I heard Ditzy's lovely laugh carry on through the night. I turned away from the window and threw the squid on to my bed. Every squid was squirming on my bed, the floor, and all over a sleepy Solitary. He just held one squid in each hoof and wore one like a disgusting hat while he smacked his lips.
“Mornin' gov'ner. What's with all these aquatic invertebrates?” he asked as the squids started to change color to camouflage themselves with Solitary's coat.
“Do you know how long these things can survive out of water?” I asked as id gingerly picked one of them up with the ti of my hoof.
“Not too long, I don't think.”
“Let's get these things in the bathroom sink then. We'll move them to the tubs after we each take a shower. But first go tell the rest of Puck to do the same. Tell them to come here when they're clean.”
“Alright cap'n.” Solitary saluted with a squid on his hoof. “But why do they need to come here?”
I cast a glance at him as I walked into the bathroom with a couple squirming squids in my hooves.
“Ditzy used squids. Squids, Solitary.”
“Does this mean what I think it does?”
“Yes Solitary, this means war.”
Ditzy sat down at the dining table of Hoofston's only five star restaurant, The Ranch, for a nice breakfast. Most of Ganymede had sat down alongside her, but the rest stood guard around the doors into their private dining room. After last night's stunt, she knew she was in for a dozy of a prank. I saw her open her menu and talk to a waitress from my binoculars. She then closed the menu, gave it to the waitress who took down her order, along with the other five ponies of Ganymede that sat at her table. After the waitress left, I tapped Solitary who was laying prone next to me. The tap signaled to him to send a magical message to Syringe and Oakleaf who were both in wait with the rest of Puck split up between them.
Syringe and his squad had taken over the kitchen of The Ranch by paying off the chefs and the waiters and waitresses. They prepared special food just for Ditzy's table and it was going to deliver it shortly. After the food was delivered Oakleaf's group would wait for Ditzy and the rest at the table to eat some, before tranquilizing the other four ponies that guarded the doors. After that, I would come in with the equipment and we would leave before they even knew what hit them.
I watched as the dishes were delivered and Ditzy and the others tucked into them. I tapped Solitary again and he sent the secondary message. I saw Ditzy start to slow in her eating and the others at the table did so too. They noticed too late that their meals were spiked. They may have been trained to detect all poisons and dangerous chemicals in their food, but this wasn't an assassin, it was Syringe Poultice; master of all things medicinal.
The other four of Ganymede were caught off guard by Oakleaf and my three other soldiers as they were disguised as customers. The each took them down with a hidden stun-stick and dragged them over to the table filled with the others from Ganymede. I saw Syringe walk out of the kitchen with the rest of my unit.
“Let's go.” I said to Solitary standing up from under our hidden spotter's post (an upside-down cardboard box in an alleyway across the street from The Ranch).
“Gotcha cap'n.” Solitary said, picking up the large plastic bag of our equipment.
We sprinted across the street and into the restaurant, waiving off the seating-ponies and we headed straight to the secluded dining room. I nodded to my unit as I came inside, finding Ganymede lined up in a neat row on the floor. Syringe had even been so nice as to clean the recently eating ponies faces.
I smiled evilly as I pulled out the main tool of chaos from the bag and turned it on. It made a buzzing sound and I stood over Ditzy.
“This is for all the squids currently swimming around in my hotel room's bathtub.” I declared as I went to work. The rest of my team reached into the bag and similarly started.
An hour later, we all took up hidden positions that faced towards the entrance of The Range. I smiled as I heard a blood curdling scream. I heard commotion coming from The Range and I had to bit my cheeks not to give away my position.
Ditzy burst out of the front door. “WHERE IS HE?!?” she screamed to a mostly empty street. The few ponies walking around first giggled and then decided to seek shelter as fast as possible.
The gray pegasi mare gave out a scream of frustration. “AAHHHGGRRR! STEELHOOVES!!!!!”
I knew I had it coming to me right there and then; Ditzy only called me by my last name when she was really angry. But perhaps I had it coming. That last prank was pretty bad, which could bee seen by Ditzy appearance. Her mane had been shorn down by our magical mane clippers and then spiked up into a liberty-spikes with the gel we had in the bag. We did different hairstyles to each of the ponies and even shaved some bald, coat on the top of their scalp and all.
Ditzy flapped around with pure hatred in her eyes looking for the creator of her distress.
Heavy came out of The Range, his long white mane put up into a beehive doo. He grasped at Ditzy's hooves.
“Ditzy.” he said with a thick accent. “Ve vill get him back. Now let us leave. Revenge is a dish served best cold, no?”
Ditzy breathed hard and allowed herself to be pulled along by Heavy, but she still flapped in the air.
“I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE!!!! MAIN ROAD INTO TOWN! OUTSIDE THE SALLOON! HIGH NOON!!!!” she called out to me as she was lead away and Ganymede left the scene. I waited until I was sure they were gone and then I slowly crawled out from under the cardboard box. The rest of my team came out of their various hiding spots, from under dumpsters, carts, behind walls, and down from roofs. I took a deep shaky breath and looked at my team mates.
“Um....I went too far with the last one.” I said rubbing a hoof on the back of my head.
“What makes you say that cap'n?” Solitary asked sarcastically.
“This isn't the time Solitary. Look Ditzy is more than a little ticked off at our last prank; she's outright pissed. It's ok because she's only pissed at me, which means you guys will stay out of the way later today.”
“Crimson there's no way.....”
“That's illogical Crimson.....”
“Not even air support????”
I cut off their protests. “No. I know that it'll probably turn into a fight, and a big one at that. Ditzy would never intentionally hurt any of you guys, but with when she pissed off...........
Look, just say out of it ok? If she's angry, she can be angry at me. We all know I can take it.”
“But it don't seem right, sending yer cap'n off into a fight alone.” Solitary shook his head.
“I concur Crimson. It's not safe.” Syringe said.
“Crimson, don't do it.” Oakleaf pleaded.
“I'll be fine guys. Remember back at training camp? She and I were always a mostly even match, and that was without my gauntlets! Please, just stay out of the way, you'll case me trouble if I have to worry about you guys. I know Ditzy won't let anypony else from Ganymede join in, so it will be an even fight and we'll be both fine. She just needs to let some of her anger out, that's all.”
Oakleaf came up and nuzzled my cheek. “That doesn't mean we won't worry about you.”
I nuzzled her back. “Believe me, I'll be fine. This is just one of Ditzy's temper tantrums. Just a temper tantrum, that's all.”
The noonday sun was made everything a blazing inferno. The ground shimmered as I walked on it, the heat making my gauntlets feel like they were frying pans. Took a few deep breaths until I stood directly across from the angry mare that was like family to me. We both shuffled uneasily, the silence along with the heat palpable as Ditzy glared at me with two focused eyes of yellow malice.
The silence was broken when Solitary sarcastically sang “Wah wah wahhh.”
I looked up and saw a smiling Solitary sitting on the edge of the roof of the building, holding a bag of popcorn. Oakleaf and Syringe stood close to him, both looking disapprovingly at him and at my current predicament. The rest of Puck was up there, but so was Ganymede. As I suspected, the only one who took the prank seriously was Ditzy. Nopony really wanted to see their captains fight alone, but it was like Solitary was doing; if you can't join in, might as well have fun watching. I rolled my eyes as his lightheartedness, but turned my gaze back to Ditzy. She still glared at me.
“Mooney” she said in a sinister sing-song voice. “You know how I feel about my mane.......”
“Sorry Muffin-Head, but you know I have a thing against sea-food.”
She gave me a trite laugh. “You wrote a will before you came here right?”
Oh horseapples. She was much more pissed than I thought.
“I knew I forgot something......” I said as I felt a breeze. I brought up my guard just in time to block a fierce lunge. Ditzy broke around my guard with her wings, slashing at my body and face. Oh boy, I was way in over my head. I pushed Ditzy off of me to get some space. I didn't want to hurt her, but I didn't want to end up going home in a body bag.
I barely had time to sidestep Ditzy as she did a flip in the air and lunged at me again. She saw me sidestep and threw me off my hooves with a gust of wind. I rolled onto my back as she tried to attack me again, but I put up my back hooves and rolled her over my head with her momentum. I quickly jumped to my hooves as I heard Ditzy scream in frustration. I turned around to face her and found that she had gone just a tad bit berserk.
She was flapping off the ground but producing a massive amount of wind. She rose higher into the air and her wings started to flap at incredible speeds, creating minor high and low pressure areas. Miniature tornadoes came into being around her hooves and arched down to the ground while small thunderclouds formed around her.
Oh buck. She was more than pissed. She was furious. Just like that one time in training..... It had taken me, some of the other captains, and Princess Luna just to calm her down. It turns out that her bubbly cutie mark wasn't because she was hair brained, but because she made all of the ponies that made her angry pop like bubbles. And right now I was one of those ponies.
She whipped a tornado tendril towards me, and only my talent for fighting saved my flank. I realized I wouldn't be able to do this alone. I opened my self up to the earth and felt around. Water? Nope. Vegetation? Nope. Only pure earth. I sighed and realized I'd have to make due with small amounts. I popped a disk of earth up into the air as a shield just as a lighting bolt arched towards me. The earthen disk exploded and I was sent flying by the concussive force.
Over the winds I could hear the spectating soldiers gasp and Solitary say “Woah!!”
I got up quickly knowing an attack was coming. The second I got to my hooves, I had to sprint in a zig-zag path as to dodge the lighting bolts that Ditzy sent my way. I ran closer to her and she whipped at me with the tornadoes.
“Ditzy! Calm down! I'm sorry alright! I never meant to hurt your feelings with one of my pranks, you knew that!” I called to her, but in her enraged state she wouldn't listen.
However, my short outburst gave her enough time to think up something deadly. She whipped the tornadoes back up towards her, and sucked up a few thunder clouds with them. She then smiled wickedly as she whipped them towards me. They missed me, but hit the ground sending a wave of lighting out from all corners. I was shocked and thrown into the sky, only to be smacked back down to the earth by another tornado whip. I grunted at the impact of the earth. I ground me teeth.
That's it, no more Mr. nice pony.
I stomped the earth and another block of earth sprung up into the air. Before it fell back down, I got up and bicycle kicked hit. It went flying towards Ditzy. The block exploded against her tornadoes. However, it distracted her while I stomped the earth again, sending a pillar of sod skyward, directly beneath her. It hit her underside and she fell down from the sky, her tornadoes and thunderclouds disappearing when she hit the ground.
I breathed a sigh of relief and raced over to her limp form.
“You ok Ditzy?”
She didn't answer, so I poked her.
“RRRAAAGHHHH!!!” she screamed, lighting exploding from her hooves and wings as she sent me flying. I smelled burnt fur and mane when I landed on the ground. I shook my head to clear my sight, as I struck again with the jolting shock that signifies lighting strikes. My body arched in pain, and I knew it was time to end this. I rose from my smoking heap on the ground and dived sideways, anticipating another lighting strike. It shocked the earth where I was but a moment ago, and I saw more coming. I raised my hoof and punched the lighting.
The magical properties of my gauntlets served me the best in those split second moments before the lighting struck me. I could feel the charge of the lighting as it touched the metal, wanting to course through it and my body, but the spells held true. In a feat only magic could pull of, I saw the lighting bounce off the metal with a sound louder than any thunderclap I had ever heard. It raced back to Ditzy, hitting her unexpectedly. He body arched from the current, and lighting bolts shot off in all directions from her form, striking the wooden buildings and setting some aflame.
Ditzy fell to the ground holding her head.
Finally she was back to normal. “Ditzy, you gotta learn how to control your anger.” I sighed rubbing my burnt face with both hooves.
Ditzy smiled sheepishly and looked around at her surroundings. There were craters and scorch marks all over the dirt road, some of the buildings had small fires blazing on their roof corners and porches. Our teammates all were patting out the fires on their roof and Ditzy could see that I was burnt to a crisp. My mane and coat were blackened to a crisp and my hair was in a frizzy afro.
“Hehe. Sorry Mooney.”
I pulled myself tiredly up off the ground. “Puck! Ganymede! Let's go get some rest. I'm sure were all tired of this little fight, so let's call an armistice.”
“Yeah, I agree. Sorry everypony!” Ditzy said smiling. I helped her up and the two units stared to come down from the roof by means of a fire escape. I started to walk away with Ditzy. Finally, this was all done.
“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! DROP YOUR WEAPONS AND PUT YOUR HOOVES IN THE AIR!” called a megaphone from behind us. We complied by putting our hooves in the air, but I also turned to face who was speaking.
I was shocked to find that we were surrounded by a contingent of police-ponies.
“ I AM CHIEF GUMSHOE AND THIS IS DEPUTY FLATFOOT. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU PONIES IS UNDER ARREST!”
A few of the police ponies started to inch toward us with drawn swords.
“What? Why are we under arrest?”
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? BOTH OF YOUR LITTLE TAMS HAVE BEEN WITNESSED COMMITING CRIMES. YOU ARE HEREBY PLACED UNDERE ARREST ON ALL ACCOUNTS OF VANDILIZATION, BREAKING AND ENTERING, ROBBERY OF ONE HUNDRED SQUIDS FROM THE HOOFSTON AQUARIUM, ILLEGAL TAKE OVER OF A DINING ESTABLISHMENT, MORE VADALIZATION, ATTEMPTED ARSON, AND DISTURBING THE PEACE!!!!! TAKE 'EM AWAY BOYS.” He shouted turning away from us.
I went over the last day in my mind, trying to link what we had done. Oh man, were going to be in big trouble this time. I glanced over to Ditzy who had the same sheepish expression on her face as I did.
“Whoops.” we said as the police ponies came up to us with swords and hoof-cuffs.
“Well there's only one thing to do at a time like this.” said Ditzy.
“Muffin-head, you really think we'll make it?”
“Only one way to find out.”
She brought down her raised wings creating a blast of wind. I let the top layer of dust on the ground become loose and it effectively mad a smokescreen. As the police ponies lunged at us, I yelled.
“Puck! Ganymede! Escape plan Zeta!”.
Ditsy started flying off and I jumped into the air. She caught me by the hooves and we took off. I could see the rest of Puck and Ganymede take similar routes, some flying off with the pegasi of their team, other teleporting out of there with the unicorns. I heard the police chief swear through the megaphone as we flew away. He sent three pegasi police after us, but Ditzy was too good of a flier to be caught by them.
She ascended to the clouds and they followed in hot pursuit, but she dipped and dove and duck and dodged through the clouds losing one of the pegasi. Yet, the other two came after us diligently. Ditzy broke into a spiraling dive, pulling up right before we hit the ground, losing another pegasi when he crashed. The last one followed us as Ditzy pulled up into a steep climb. She slowed after breaking the cloud cover and tossed me into the air.
As she pulled away from me, going into another dive, gravity took hold of me.
“Bombs away!” she called to me. I nodded and streamlined myself, back hooves down. The other pegasi came up through the clouds just to see Ditzy go back underneath. However, he wasn't fast enough to escape. I hit into his torso and plummeted with him. He had gone unconscious from my hit and I held onto his as we fell. I hugged his limp body in one hoof and stuck up my other. I was jerked as Ditzy came out of her dive and caught me by my outstretched hoof. We descended and circled back, skimming the ground until we found the other pegasi who had hit the ground. He rubbed his muzzle sorely and looked at us with big eyes as he saw me holding his comrade.
I dropped him down in front of the pegasi and told him “He's fine, just knocked out. Look, we'll pay for any damages later, but we're sorry. Just stay here, don't make it hard on yourself. Say we were too fast, ok.”
The pegasi looked at his compatriot and then back up to me. He nodded sternly and Ditzy and I flew off to meet the res of Puck and Ganymede at the rocky canyon that was a few miles outside of Hoofston.
“Let's go home guys.” I said to all of them as Ditzy and I arrived.
“So you guys ran away?” asked Twilight.
“Well yeah, and boy did we get yelled at when we got back to Canterlot.”
“Remember how red Luna turned? She looked like you Big Mac.” Luna said giggling at the memory.
“Yeah we got restricted to janitorial duty in the castle for a whole month. We also got a lot of money taken out of pension to pay for the damages we did to Hoofston.”
“I just remember the look on Luna's face when she read that letter that said we were banned from Hoofston.”
“Oh that was great.” I said laughing with her.
“Wait just a second...” as sandy voice said.
“I never thought I'd hear Rainbow Dash say wait.” I commented, making all the ponies at the table snicker.
“Real funny, but this is important. Ditzy, if you could do all that stuff back then, what happened to make you so......” Rainbow asked, getting cut off by a stern glare from me. I felt a hoof squeeze my front leg. It was Ditzy.
“It's ok.” she said to me.
“About two months after the whole Hoofston escapade, I and Ganymede were sent as backup to Las Pegasus.”
“Weren't there a large riot back there? Ah remember, 'cause our apple shipments to Las Pegasus stopped short around then. It caused us quite a pain....” said the orange country mare.
“Yeah. There was a large protest over increased taxes and Ganymede was sent to help the local police department. On one of the worst nights, the protestors swarmed around main hall. We tried to restore order and calm down everypony, but a few fights broke out between some of the protestors. As I was breaking one up, a protestor with a metal hoofball bat caught me off guard.”
Rainbow gasped. “Oh Ditzy......”
“Woke up two days later in Las Pegasus General Hospital. The doctors did everything they could for me, but double detached retinas are hard to fix. They miraculously saved my eyesight, but all my depth perception was gone.”
“So that's why you crash all the time....But why act dumb?”
“It's easier to act dumb then it is to explain what happened over and over again.” Ditzy shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “It's not my favorite of memories. I still get nightmares of the bat sometimes.” she finished, the Doctor hugging her tightly. Everypony around the table looked sad, but I knew exactly what Ditzy was going through.
“Ditzy, I'm really sorry if I was ever mean to you. I just...” Rainbow said breaking the silence.
“It's ok Dashie. Don't worry about it. I'm happy that things turned out the way they did. If I never came to Ponyville,” she said looking lovingly at the Doctor's face, “I would have never met him.”
The whole table burst into a loud “D'awwwwwww” as Ditzy and Doctor kissed. I smiled for her. She used to be depressed and anti-social like I had been, but Ponyville changed her. I thought about what I had gone through and I knew the same could be said for me. It was just the way everypony cared about you and wanted to make you feel welcome. It was a magic beyond words and actions. It was the magic of friendship.
“I think it's time we all head home.” Twilight said as she glimpsed the clock on the wall across the room. I didn't really want to leave the company of my friends, but I was dog tired too. Something about having fun with friends and telling stores does that to a pony. Twilight picked up a sleeping Spike and rose along with Shining, Cadence, Ditzy, the Doctor, and I. We all gave our goodbyes to our friends and left Sugarcube Corner.
The outside night was cool and clear. Luna's moon and stars shone brightly in the onyx night sky.
“Just like when we out in field, huh?” Ditzy said as all of us gazed into the night sky with wonder.
“Yeah.” I muttered breathlessly. The night sky always did that to me. Our group walked down the road, not really paying attention to where we were traveling, just so long as we were together. We eventually ended up outside of the library. Shining, Cadence, and Twilight all gave their goodbyes and went inside. I lingered back, wanting to give my dearest friend and her husband the goodbye they deserved. Ditzy and I hugged before we parted.
“Let the night protect us...” I said starting the oath each member of the battalion learned.
“...And may we find solace with in its darkness. Good night Crimson.” Ditzy said holding me tighter.
“You too Ditzy.” we broke our hug and the Doctor gave me one as well.
“Goodnight Doctor. You take care of Ditzy, alright?”
He let go of the embrace and he started to walk away with Ditzy. “I always have and always will.” He glanced in my direction. “I'll be seeing you in no time chap.” he said with a wink.
The pair walked away into the night, the Doctor whistling a gentle tune that I'd never heard before, but form the way it sounded, it was obviously a lullaby.
I sighed gently as the pair walked away. I was a little jealous that two ponies could be so deeply in love, but I was happy for Ditzy as well.
“Aren't they so cute together?” said a mare's voice from behind me.
“More than cute Twilight. Heart meltingly cute.”
“Come on inside Crimson. It time to go to sleep.”
“Know what? I'm gonna sleep outside again. It's too beautiful a night not to.” I smiled at her as I went into the semi-lit library. I grabbed my bed, sheet, and pillow from my room and headed into the kitchen.
“Wait up.” said Twilight. “I want to sleep outside too.” she said with a blush.
“Go grab a blanket. I'll meet you in the back.”
“But what about a tent and a sleeping bag and a bedroll and then I'll need a rain-fly for the tent and also a parka in case it gets humghtmffff.” she rambled off as I stuck my hoof into her mouth. I shook my head.
“No need. Just grab a blanket.” I said with a gentle push towards the stairs. She gave me a skeptical look, but it melted away as she smiled and ascended the stairs slowly. I went back into my room and grabbed one of my gauntlets.
I went outside and set up my bed, piling the sheet and pillow onto it. Then I put on the gauntlet and focused on the patch of ground next to my bed. I opened myself up to the earth and I made a slab of stone rise out of the ground and form a bed next to mine. I then gave a little energy to the grass on the top of the slab, making it grow in patches that were bare until I had a soft coating. I threw the sheet on the slab and then yawned widely. Making the bed had used up a surprising amount of energy, which just piled onto my tiredness. I snuggled under the sheet and onto the bed, pulling my gauntlet off and next to my bed on the unaffected ground. Then I put both hooves behind my head and looked up at the stars. My tiredness subsided as I looked at all of them.
Luna had once told me that each and every star was made with a pony in mind. She said that was how she coped with being immortal. All of her past friends and future ones may leave this world before her, but she would said she would never be lonely. She put the stars in the sky after them, so she would remember and know that a little bit of that cherished pony was up there, watching out for her. I liked the way her explanation of the stars made me feel somewhat small, but always peaceful.
My thoughts about the stars were taken from me as I heard Twilight come outside.
“You didn't need to do that Crimson.” she said laying down on my bed. “I have a tent and stuff in the basement.”
“There's a basement? But no. If you were in a tent, how would you be able to see all of this?”
Twilight fell silent and we both gazed into the night sky. I started to drift off, gazing at the moon which was almost directly overhead us.
“Thank you Crimson.” said Twilight softly.
“I just felt like I needed to thank you. All the help you've been and...”
“And all the problems I've caused thanks to my condition pretty much blot out the help I have been.”
“Don't say that.” Twilight said with concern. “You've been more help than you realize and the whole town adores you.”
I rolled my eyes tiredly. I wanted to end the conversation there, but I could feel a pair of eyes boring into my head. I rolled onto my side and looked straight into the lavender mare's eyes. They were big and full of worry.
“I... Thanks Twilight.” I replied, shutting my eyes after I saw her expression ease.
I was going to say goodnight back, but I had already dozed off in the cool night, under the gaze of the gentle moon, friendly stars, and lovely mare.