I'm trying to make a mod for TF2! Wish me luck!
He was accused of attempting to die.
He was given some help, mental, of course.
And sent back to duty, tall as a horse.
He was waiting near The castle, for any dodgy signs,
and along came a thing, covered in pines.
It stood on two legs, in it's sheath a blade.
Resting on it's head was a bucket missing a spade.
"Iron is not reliable," it said in an accent that stuck in his head.
"Try using steel, my friend, it has a finer blade instead."
So the guard left his post,
To re -equip, at most.
Returning with a steel blade forged from a mountain,
he reurned to his post, on duty again.
His hoof shook, it was dead cold,
But at least he might earn a slight more gold.
The same man returned again, claiming that steel was lame.
But then again, his sword was surely the same?
He once again left, replacing his sword.
Only this time, he prepared like a true Nord!
If this guard returned, he would shoot his knee,
Then he might do a better duty.
Genius on paper, a flop in real life.
Because it turns out the man had 10 wives.