Not a bad start, I assume you are an iron golem?

Nice job on the role reversal too

man the tow of them (Rust and BlackWIng) have relay started a trend, how many story's are we up to now 10+ something?

someone really should start a group and gather all the stories there so there easily accessed and keep tracked of.

anyways you shod relay talk to them if your using there stuff, i doubt any of them will have a problem but its better to safe than sorry

>>778363778363

There is a group with most of the stories in it (I think that there's around 20+ by now)

The groups name is:

Chess Game of the Gods

And they already said that it was ok to use their world.

~Eathlome

P.S. I'd give a link, but I'm writing this from my tablit, I'll give the link once I can get on my computer.

Quite decent, I like your idea and Coralis is adorable!

Also, after getting your PM I can't help but imagine a scene where Coralis tries to get the upper hand on Jack through some overly-elaborate, childish plot and gets bent over the older deity's knee.

>>778401778401 Is your story in the group yet? If it's not you should add it in if Rust and BlackWing have already given the go-ahead.

This is pretty good and the premise alone makes it quite interesting. Like your character's personality and his budding relationship with his sponsor.

One thing, you used "looked on in shock" twice in a row here, try to avoid doing that. Try to use a little more variety when describing things and it'll make the whole story come across better.

>>778634778634

I'm just waiting for their go ahead, then I'll be adding it in.

Yeah, I need to work on diversifying my vocabulary a bit.

>>778599778599

Hmmmmm...

I'll have to think about that one.

~Eathlome

i've never read the chess game of the gods before, only griffin the griffin and ballad of echo the diamond dog, where could i find this chess game of the gods?

>>780786780786

>>778363778363

Try looking here.

Hope that this was what you were looking for.

~Eathlome

>>780878780878it was, thanks

Beautiful so far, kinda like what would happen if someone came for Percy Jackson.

>>779136779136

You gain full Endorsement from me, and I think Rust and BlackWing would love it. Good story

This gonna be good

>>778363778363  try 30+

>>787612787612

I know, right?

It's just going up like crazy.

I'm pretty sure that soon CGotG will be getting close to the level that Fallout Equestria is at.

~Eathlome

>>787630787630  who knows?  We may get an interview for FimFiction...or even Equestria Daily!

>>780786780786

Right here my good man.

Also, it's nice to see a week god for once instead of the all powerful troll. Nice change of pace.

This is looking good. Your faved and thumbs up. Cora is definitely lucky to have herself  an experienced pawn.  

Another piece to our game?

Oh goody another thing to punch through walls and other asorted objects!

I like how you dont have a jackass GM unlike Loki..... stupid bastard]

Anyways good story and such

And may the odds be ever in your favor!

>>787853787853

ah. Turns out I AM familiar with it. Atleats the universe. Ive read both the ballad of echoed griffin the griffin (ongoing. That story is harass) and what's is so far that mouthful of a title starring a cynical cynogriffin. FINALLY figured out what the hell is with people getting hit kicked punted and snapped into equestrian. Thank Jesus that the explanation isnt "Jesus. For shits and giggles"

I really liked how you switched the roles a bit. Gives the story a whole different twist. Can't wait for the next update.

I wish that I made Rook out of Iron now, you have definitely one upped my gargoyle! Casually crushing the heads of Diamond Dogs, hellz yes.

>>787630787630  If you need any unique OCs to join your side or such take a gander at my blog.  I am great at coming up with characters but not so much at with stories.  I am liking what I am reading and this is the first time reading this type of story.  Faving as will to see how it all pans out.

>>782232782232 Writes good stories and reads good stories as well...... I love you even more than I did before. In a platonic way I mean.

Some cant communicate cause they dont speak the same language, others got their throats messed up. But to not have a mouth? ouch. Now he shall never again know the wonders of bacon and ice cream.

I sense a meeting sometime in the future between an iron man and a wooden wolf....

Also, gotta love little Cora. She is so AWWWGUBLASHUBUBUBUBU!

At the far edges of Tartarus, a scrap of cloth fluttered down untouched by wind in the stillness of the cave. A meter to the ground it was snatched out of the air by a skeletal hand.

The Warden peered at the crude message, written in blood, scrawled across the back. Without hesitation, the undead warrior strode off towards Πόλη των νεκρών, his mistress would want to see this.

Moar.

Twig: Wait.... Terra, you didn't tell me you had a sister!

Terra: Whoops, must have slipped my mind. Epicface.jpg

Seriously, I bloody LOVE this story. And not because of how close it ties in with mine... heh hehe heh...

Wow, this story is really good. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Kinda wish you had made Odin the Game Master here. Then again I'm just a big norse mythology enthusiast.

Like it so far.

>>787853787853

One, how do you make hyperlinks short. Be specific. I have literally no idea.

Two. Does this work for other sites/hyperlink usage?

Three. There is no three.

Four, how do i make those quote boxes where people box a quote?

To author

And anyways I'm fairly that there are no Humans in Equestria.:  fairly sure that

Alright, send be to Equestria: send me

Can you give me a brief idea as to what our protagonist is doing before all this? And how do the physics of reincarnating work in your headcanon? Keeps memory, but does he keep knowledge of stuff like math? Also, when is he "reborn?" Does he start from birth or what?

Or are you going to keep this vague?

>>806036806036

There should be a little symbolic below the words Add Comment. It's a trio of arrows that look kind of like an anchor. Just use that and you'll be able to put links into your comments. As for the quote boxes...I haven't figured that out yet.

>>795211795211

Lols.

To author:

Ah, the obligatory beat up of D-dogs eh? How many of them have these chess pieces killed anyways?

>>806082806082 Probably not as many as you'd think if Jack keeps resurrecting them as ghouls to populate her city.

>>806059806059

no, i know that. I want to, say, make a link to wikipedia without typing the entire address.

wiki

Oh wait, nvm

So... was that a bid daddy reference because thats all i saw, big ass iron suit protecting the week small female on his shoulders

>>800294800294 more like

Twig: wait terra you didnt say I was fighting A FUCKING GIANT IRON GOLOM WHEN ALL I AM IS A DAMN PILE OF STICKS

Terra: whoops i guess that slipped my mind, i was busy getting a new haircut, you almost killed my barber by the way

Twig: YOU TOLD ME TO KILL IT AND IT WAS A GIANT FUCKING SPIDER TRYING TO KILL ME

Terra:

Image: http://e.deviantart.net/emoticons/t/trollface.png

So that's what that note was in Skeleton Jack's story, good to know

>>819051819051 What note?

>>822897822897

The piece of paper that fell from the surface and was snatched up by a Warden?

another interesting chapter

Yep, Adam's still a badass. But he's not an intolerable badass like SOME PEOPLE <glares pointedly at Celt>

"Er...What have you heard about Mu and Atlantis?"

Coralis thought for a moment before responding, "Never heard of them.  Why?"

"If anyone ever tells you about them, it wasn't my fault.  Honest."

I will take your word for it. for now.

Now for my usual buisness:

"I stood up an stretched." Either And or add a ' to the word

"And anyways I'm fairly that there are no Humans in Equestria." Fairly sure?

>>844078844078

Thanks, should be fixed now.

~Eathlome

"I walked upo behind her. " typo

"Timber wolves." Most other stories do not split up that word.

EDIT: And others don't so keep it as you feel like it

Otherwise i am done for now.

This was a fun short read.

And god dangit. Now I got 1 more story to add to the list.

>>844096844096

Thanks again, fixed now.

~Eathlome

>>844405844405

You're welcome.

It was a good story. A interesting new main character.

So....Is Adam a part of a series that I don't know about?

>>856413856413

Adam's story takes place in the chess game of the gods universe, made by Rust, BlackWing, etc.

An Iron Pawn isn't really in a series, but it is a part of a collaboration of stories, which take place in the same version of Equestria.

I hope that answers your question.

~Eathlome

>>856430856430 I know about the chess game of the gods, I'm writing a story for it in fact (Hehehe, should be fun, believe me, I already have plot twists by the barrel-full planned for Aegidious) but I was asking if Adam was part of a book series or something, it seems like it would be cool, and by the way what's the collaboration you mentioned? Or were you referencing the CGOTG?

>>856443856443

The collaboration I was referring to was CGotG.

Also, no Adam is a character that I made up.

Can't wait for your story to come out.  I'll be sure to read it.

~Eathlome

I have now used hacks to become the first comment, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

Saw this in the feature box, How long has it been up there?

"found my self crushing" Myself

"I need you to help Twig retrieve the Seed of Gaea." Most people call it Gaia if I'm not wrong (It says so in the other fic)

Do you want the Evil Eyes run through?

>>906602906602

Well I published this chapter about 30 min. ago, and...

Dear Lord!  My story has been featured!

>>906616906616

Thanks, I'll fix that.

Both spellings are correct, and my computer has auto-correct, so it automatically changes it to Gaea.  I'm just too lazy to change it every time.

Oh, sure.

~Eathlome

>>906652906652

Grats on a feature.

In memory of that let me speak to the Evil Eyes

Hey EYES OF EVIL

Yes foolish mortal writer

The guy got featured so your title will temoporarily be remade into only Eyes of all seeing.

Fine: I can deal with that. As long as it won't stop my work

Ok you are free to start

"Well your a human, shouldn't you look more human-ish?" Same thing as other one. You're

"I cant argue there" Can't

****Note: We can credit all faults here to the other guy. I found them in his story too and I imagine you cooperated and said thing each then copy pasted it*****

Yeah actually with the exception of earlier typo of "My self" it was quite clear and the faults I found I blame on the other guy. (He had lot more text faults than this)

Here have a pie

Image: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d4/Pi_pie2.jpg

>>906652906652

Welcome to the Club! its not as fun as you would think.

>>902487902487

Eath: Quick Pinkie, counter-hack!

: Okie dokie lokie!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pinkie used counter-hack.

It's super effective!

Forevermore is now last comment.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eath: Good job Pinkie.

~Eathlome

>>906707906707

Alright, fixed.

Also thanks for the pie.

And I have to admit, the 'your' was my mistake.

Let me know if you seen any more errors.

~Eathlome

I feel stupid for asking this but (feel free to face palm) what is the chess game of the gods anyways? From what I have put together, these gods dupe some mortals into being pieces for a chess game, for their own amusement ect, ect.

Hm... Meh.

>>906743906743 Thank you for your permission.

Image: http://vglounge.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Facepalm-1.jpeg

Now that that's out of the way, the Chess Game of the Gods (or CGotG) is a group of stories that are set in the world created by Rust in the Ballad of Echo the Diamond Dog, and expanded upon in BlackWing's Griffin the Griffin.  Both of which are freaking amazing, and you should read if you haven't.

You can find the group here.

>>906715906715

Funny story about the feature box.  So Zombie_Lizard posted his chapter first, and it made it into the feature box.  But then I posted mine, and it went over his.  Whoops.  Now his story is back in the feature box, and mine is out.  Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

~Eathlome

"Alright, wait a second," I sat down in a chair, and relaxed against the back, "Alright, send be to Equestria." i think you meant send me not send be unless adam has a cold

>>906783906783

You can totally have my spot. And besides now sweetie crush is up there. im getting the feeling that last slot skips around alot.

Well I am enjoying the story. So keep up the good work by the way...

Image: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1uybaJ3Ro1r1bmu6.gif

To Iron constructs every where

>>906789906789

Thanks, fixed it now.

>>906750906750

Would you care to expand on that?

Is it "meh" because of the characters?

Or because of the story?

Or the writing style?

Or the large amount of dialogue in the newest chapter?

Or is it a reason not mentioned above?

Let me know, and I'll try to improve in my next chapters.

~Eathlome

i'm assuming your not gonna include the mane 6 anytime soon?

lol just a leafs worth of power

*Looks at leaf*

*Looks up to Terra's tree*

*Looks back to the leaf*

.....

Image: http://i.qkme.me/6j0c.jpg

I was conscientious: conscious

if were here: we're

badly enough top end: to

as her could: he

Almost the same as the Twig's author

>>973324973324

Ya beat me to it

  nuf said

WOW I just finished your other chapters today and you updated :) YAY!

mo we nned main 6

Ding... Objective achieved... You have (1) worshiper.

Character name Adam = instant like

...Is it bad that I didn't get the meaning of the chapter title until I was almost finished reading the chapter?  Speaking of which, good one.

Okay, while I figured they were from Missy's story, I still can't quite tell which Pegasus that is. Is it... Blanche?

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that Cora's bad memory was the Wardens' Crusade? 'Cause that was the bloodiest conflict on this planet to date, and is arguably even bloodier than all of the End Games put together. Seriously, shit happened.

>>10213461021346

I'm pretty sure it's an entirely different pegasus - Blanche's coat is white, not beige. And Blanche is a mare.

>>10214211021421 Wait... beige... that's nowhere near white, is it? Wow, I got that horribly mixed up, I think my mind processed 'beige' as 'sort of cream-colored'. Well, anyway, it was a guess, and the best one I had. Which is kind of sad, the best I had was so far off...

Cora reminds me of a little girl, oh look a puppy, can we keep em. Only for her its full grown sentient creatures... Definitely a goddess.

i think she needs this shirt:

Image:  http://rlv.zcache.com/bow_before_your_god_tshirt-p235550410796523578b8tsv_400.jpg

Hmm sounds fun

So Hardman and Woodman team up for a quest. This will be funny.

I am very intrigued to say the least. I'll put this in the read later section, but my question is will your story be lenient to newcomers like me?

>>10211991021199  New objective received: Build Temple... wait what?

>>10214051021405  I might, but I think she probably slept though it.

>>10217021021702  I think Cora would love that shirt, until she touched it and it burst into flames.  Then she would be sad.

>>10236531023653  I'm not sure what you are asking, could you elaborate?

>>10238631023863

I mean will the setting be explained in story or is your story constructed for those already familiar to the Games? I've only just started the Games myself; I don't know all the concepts and rules.

>>10241531024153  Well, Adam doesn't know where he is exactly, and Cora's not that familiar with the world, so they don't know where they are relative to the rest of the world.  But that might change soon...

If you want to know where they are you can use this convenient map by Troutking.

Howdy doody partner! Ah must say that this raght heah is a mahty fahne chaptah yah got heah. Ah hate how ah cain't fav it ahgain...

I really like 5he Adambuse going on here! Any good author knows that a good beating or two builds character...

<.<

>.>

*whistles innocently*

So if Cora is mostly forgotten then how does the pegasus know to worship her is it because she knocked him from the sky or some other reason

>>10324431032443  If you read the author's notes, you would know.  But since you didn't I'll just say it again:

If you're confused about the pegasus who decided to start worshiping Cora, please read DPR's story, Myou've Gotta be Kidding Me.

Spoilers Beyond this point:

I hope this helps, but if you're too lazy to read the story then I'll just tell you that the lake acts as a very powerful love potion, inducing a deep feeling of awe, and a need to worship.

Spoilers done.

~Eathlome

You require more time to write the next chapter......

SCREW THAT SEND THE DOCTER!

Lolz waiting for more!

It's probably a good thing I'm made of metal, else I would've passed out from laughing so hard.

I had no such reservations. This story is awesome.

lolcano.

That is all.