Princess Celestia is injured during a flight, or was it all a dream?
My first attempt at a dark fiction. Not grimdark, just dark. Also, no speech.
Just mixing up my writing with this one, feel free to disregard it entirely.
A definite change in my writing style with this one.
I expect it to be shit, I've never written dark before, nor read all that much about it, but I gave it a whirl and sneezed all this out in ninety minutes.
Still, I hope you might enjoy it.
You know, internal monologue still counts as dialogue in my books . I enjoyed it nonetheless, here's a thumb
That was...interesting. Very well written, but it was slightly grimdark rather than just dark for that little violent dream. I loved it though. Keep it up!
Hmm, an interesting read. There's just enough going on at the end to make me wonder if the dream was real or not though I can't tell if that was intentional or if it was supposed to be summed up cleanly as just a nightmare.
The taste of blood in Celestia's mouth at the end stood out to me as its not explicitly stated how it happened; did she bite her cheek as she was falling? That and the appearance of Twilight at the end which brought up some oddities. Though Celestia had only been flying for a few minutes I have to imagine she would be able to cover quite a distance which, in my mind, would make the odds of Twilight finding her in woods rather low. That and the fact Twilight just assumed Celestia would be in enough trouble from the storm that she would be forced to land raised a red flag in my mind. Though for Twilight worrying that much about the princess would be rather normal.
I apologize if I'm over analyzing the whole thing, stories with dark tags have me trained to examine everything closely and to try to read between the lines. Whichever way you were intending to go with this story I enjoyed it and I look forward to more works from you!
Oooh, nice big comment here!
I imagined that Celestia mouth would be bleeding due to her impact with the ground, though, as you say, I never elaborated on it, so feel free to use your imagination. :)
Also, I suppose Celestia might have been taking her flight pretty easy and didn't cover more than a few miles before her unfortunate accident with a lightning bolt. Twilight finding her does indeed seem unlikely, and can be attributed to dumb luck, but I can easily see her worrying that much about the pony she idolises flying into a storm. The fact she finds her is more just to draw parallels with the dream and the reality.
Of course, that depends on what you think is the dream, and what is the reality, I feel both could easy have been the reality, I tried to make it a little ambiguous what was real to make the reader think a bit, but that's up to your interpretation.
As for over analysis, pretty much the greatest honour any author can receive, (at least in my opinion) is when someone enjoys their work so much that they think about this stuff. Needless to say, I am indeed honoured that you have raised these points and I hope I have answered your thoughts. I feel I didn't do an amazing job to be honest, (I'm quite tired) and I am happy that you enjoyed my story.