I'm older than your average brony, but then I've always enjoyed cartoons. I'm an experienced reviewer, EqD pre-reader, and occasional author.
When you're a princess, you have to worry about political intrigue, affairs of state… and knowing when your friend is pulling your leg. There are no monsters in the basement!
Slightly lengthened version of a write-off entry in the /fic/ mini event "Illusion of Choice." Finished 17th out of 104.
Page generated in 0.096 seconds
Total duration
960 users online
1,464,862 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I didn't read this story so far, but I have to point out here that the filly in the cover is not Peachy Pie, that's Noi.
Here's how Peachy Pie looks, she's the filly on the right:
https://www.derpibooru.org/951157?scope=scpeec1d2bd7aaa2d86c0a1254cb14f25140952f71c9
Seconded what 7244436 said.
Although I do love this story all the same. Even if ... well, you know.
7244499
I didn't say I'm not loving it. I probably will, once I have gotten around to read it (whenever that may be).
But I don't like when ponies get called wrong because, well, because it's wrong. Noi is not Peachy Pie and Peachy Pie is not Noi.
And additionally, for Peachy Pie, she's barely known in the fandom anyway and almost forgotten by bronies, so calling another pony with her name will just worsen this, so I alerted of this so that Pascoite can change the name to "Noi".
7244546
Sorry, didn't mean to imply that you didn't like the story because of that. Noi's one of my personal favorite fillies, and I've written a number of stories about her.
Peachy Pie's been in one of mine so far (along with Sunny Daze).
7244436
Here's my thought process:
1) I know that's not Peachy Pie.
2) I don't care.
3) It's the only canon example I know of where a filly is wearing a princess dress and hat.
4) Close enough.
*Whistles*
That got dark out of nowhere. I enjoyed it, though--especially the little kids playing. I liked the descriptions.
7244886 Yeah, it's surprising how brutal the endings are to some of the original Grimm's fairy tales, for instance. That's what inspired this.
7244953
Oh, yeah, I'm aware--but, despite the fact that I liked how it was written, it felt like the darkness was a little sudden.
Heyyy, I remember this one. :D And luckily, I didn't recall the ending too soon!
7245168 I telegraphed it a bit, but the reader was never going to take Misty Moon seriously about the monsters. It was an interesting exercise in writing something where people will be too trusting of children. I'd be curious to know how many readers go through this wondering when the Dark tag is going to kick in. Or how many even noticed it was there.
On a related note, how does this still have only one downvote? I'm surprised it's not half and half.
That was..., somewhat disturbing. Good job.
7244668
That kind of bugged me a little bit when I saw the cover art, but I got over it. And that is a totally adorable pic.
ETA: also Noi isn't a canon name, and the Peachy Pie in the show is totally different than the toy, so even Hasbro don't give a f
k.
Very nicely written. I was confused by “You didn’t even save me any, did you?" It's a strong line, but it means Misty is the monster, so I don't understand how the basement works, or how they're "hiding" something down there, or how Misty works (she's compelled to eat people who go into her basement? even after they move?).
7251900 There's a lot that's implied, maybe too subtly. Misty is a monster, but the fact that her mother would want something to eat as well means the whole family is. There are more of them in the basement, and when it's obvious Peachy's never going to let up about going down there, Misty puts a stop to it. She could just keep refusing, but she's a kid and she makes an immature decision. Then they have to move (and presumably change their identities) because someone will make the connection with previous times it had happened. Normally, they can keep things covered up, but once it a while, like now, a disappearance is too obvious or high-profile to hide.
7252059 Misty can pass for normal, and can control herself, so having Misty be a monster and also having monsters who always stay in the basement and can't control themselves implies there are 2 different types of monsters. That makes that hypothesis complicated enough that I felt, when reading, like it must be the wrong one, and I must be missing something.
7252101 Now it's getting into the kind of speculation I didn't want to include in the story, since the longer I spend on the second scene, the more it takes away from the feel of the first. Maybe Misty's mother fancies herself and her daughter as more civilized than the others, maybe it's quite the opposite, where they're low on the pecking order and have to endure the shame of appearing as ponies, or maybe they're the two designated on this round to maintain that form so the rest can have a camouflaged home to hide in.
Good fun. Clearly, this is why parents always tell their kids about monsters in basements: They don't actually know which basements have leftover colonies of monsters in them from when the previous tenants were chased out.
7252101
I'd assumed based on the line about fangs fading away that Misty and her mother were changelings. The basement would be where the ponies they're copying are cocooned, with Misty being the monster described in the basement scene itself.
Apparently I was wrong, but the story still works either way. A nifty read!
I never got around to posting a review notification here, but at least you saw it on the blog. As you know, I liked it, though it was a devil to review without giving away anything important!
10182803
As Chris once posted on his blog: