When a mare showed up near midnight at Ponyville's police station in shock, I knew something was terribly wrong. When she told me her friend had been kidnapped I was shocked-a kidnapping in Ponyville? But then, when I interviewed her, she told me he was taken by something. Not somepony, but something. Something that looks like a pony, but has no eyes. No mouth. No face. Something that is a legend-an old mare's tale. But as The Mare on the Moon had taught us, not all tales are as false as they seem to be.
Comments ( 44 )
Good enough for a follow; no major errors.
One thing though, double space and tab it. I'll give an example.
After calming Sapphire down enough to be able to leave her alone for a few minutes, I head out the door and turned to June. The light brown mare looked as stunned as I felt.
"What do you think?" I asked her.
"Wow... wow... just... what the hell, what the god damned hell" she said, "I honestly don't know. I mean, to me there are four options. Option A: She's playing a prank on us."
Overall 9/10
yeah im gonna track. this kinda creeped me out, feeling paranod right now. dont wanna look out my window.......
mebe i wont track
Option D: Everything she said is true and we are in a shit load of trouble
I am paranoid, though its easy for me to be so, then theres that part in my mind that knows its not real which enables me to read this....watching for updates, thats what Slenderpony does, watching, waiting...for updates ![]()
Is this Sapphire, "Sapphire Shores" ?. Or somepony completely different? ![]()
This is pretty interesting; can't wait to see how you portray Slendermane. ![]()
well great, now i cant wait for the next chapter
either way, it was a awesome story, and im expecting more greatness![]()
Daaaayum!
Great. I have actual clinical paranoria, and a gun. I will be sleeping with a .38 and a switchblade tonight.
But great story man! I even think that *cough* I*ahem* just a little bronchitis....
COUGHCOUGHCOUGH GO AWAY GO AWAY COUGH IIIITS HEEERRE FOR ME HEEEEL-
i demand more!! story= great, grammer= 'as far as i can tell' great, overall great. this slenderpony demands it.
>>933912People who just use the pony reference and not the actual song suck.
The actual song is "Existence VIP" by Excision.
While I'm at it, I prescribe you all these two songs of hardcore awesome:
"Rooster" Alice in chains
"Man in a box" Alice in chains
"Hell yeah" Zebra head.
I get paranoid... Right now I am, being watched by an enderman and a slenderman.... Not good... Crap. Weeping angel... WHYBDID I GET THESE THREE MODS?! Which do I attack?! Weeping Angel - Death
Enderman - Chance (0.1%)
Slanderman - Death
Sh!t.
Wait... ION CANNON STAFF!!!!!!!!!!!
(That actually happened. I was scared... I was messing around with XP. Right when it happened, it was at 666. And its was a Friday.... The 13th. *looks around* This is not good....)
Hmm... well, your description has interested me. Will definitely read later, but I'm very picky when it comes to Slender Man as a long time fan of the mythos.
Well, you certainly jumped right into it. Like I said, I'm picky about my Slender Man, so don't take it too hard when I say that so far, it isn't the greatest. Really though, I'll need more to judge it properly. I will give you that you managed to pull off a creepy vibe fairly quickly, even though this is Slender PONY, rather than the actual Slender Man.
So yes, this is enough for a watch from me, but I'll wait to see how the later chapters are pulled off before liking or disliking it.
Holy shit, I never thought of there being a slenderpony
, I'm going to have to read this later when its not 3 in the morning
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<3 I have been waiting for this crossover. In the words of a certain Changeling Queen....
"FINALLY the moment has arriiiiived..."
This is funny because someone decided to put a remote controlled manacun in my god damn room dressed as Slenderman.
I have never been so quick with my knife in my life...
slendy WANTS HIS 20 DOLLAS! GIMY 20 DALLAS GIMY GIMY GIMY 20 DOLLAS!
A fine start. I would have preferred a longer first chapter, but this has captured my interest. I recommend some Lovecraft if you want to set a horror tone.
I still wish the chapters are longer, but I still like the mood. Nice work.
this, mixed with me being depraved of sleep, and watching the twilight zone, and playing slent hill, has scared the living sh*t out of me.![]()
Longer Chapters! More Details!![]()
Ahhh... it's always the break room.just when you think you're safe...
loved it,the short chapters add a lot of tension in the story making it from a horror to a suspense
,keep doin it
Your doing short chapters to build anticipation you sick monster
as long as you keep up with the daily updates im fine with the chapter lenght
GODDAMMIT!!!![]()
Why am i always reading a story about one of the few things i truly fear RIGHT BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP AT NIGHT!!!![]()
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...slenderman's behind me isn't he?...
*turn around*
oh good for a second i thought that i was fucked
adskfjogaiudfhgia
...................................(X)
dam cliff hanger i have come across so many in my reading in the past 4 days i'll lave to see where this one is going.![]()
dam cliff hanger i have come across so many in my reading in the past 4 days i'll love to see where this one is going.
sorry not do good in spelling







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