Constructive criticism welcome and encouraged.

And I'm looking for a beta reader if anyone is interested.

Will read later. Seems good.

Back to the future reference. The only problem I saw was calling Fluttershy a tan Pegasus. Yellow, cream, or butter-yellow are closer to her true color in my opinion, though I've never thought of her as tan. Well, I guess that's your opinion.

Huh...I never thought I'd see this crossover happen.  Color me intrigued.

If you're looking for a beta reader, I would be happy to offer my services to help you out in that department.

Just send me a PM if you're interested.

-Viktor

Welll this is very good, also will we be seeing a blue shirt wearing miner in this fic at all?

Liked it

Also, did you make Canterlot in minecraft? or did you find that pic somewhere else? just curious

>>769062769062

I have not yet had the pleasure to. I'm a purist, so if i want to build something, it's survival mode for me, but recently I've been playing to flush out what will happen later in the story

>>769037769037

And yes, the Crafter will be coming. *spoilers*

Ah, screw it. You all knew he'd be coming in eventually..

>>769079769079 Ah, I see. Well good luck writing

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!

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EDIT:  Submit to EqD NOW!

Aw man, you beat me to it... and it's pretty good...

Still, I can't throw away what I've got after all that work. But congratulations on making what is, to my knowledge, the first successful Minecraft crossover.

there have been a few others, but this one seems to be the most beliveable

>>769084769084

While I seriously do appreciate your enthusiasm, I will not be attempting a EQD submittal until the story is complete. If you love this as much as your comment states, I can say I have hammered out the remainder of the plot and know how the story will end.

>>769555769555

Tiberius is correct in that there are others, some even on this site, but as far as my knowledge reaches, only one is complete.

Wow, just wow. Been looking for something like this for a while. Great work on a first chapter, already got me hooked... (OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG)

*Ahem*... Anyway, hoping to see more, keep up the good work!

-Jorofrarie

(P.S. Any chance of Endermen? I'm just sayin'...)

>>771346771346

*THE CROWD GOES WILD!*

Still not sure if Nether Portal or End Portal.....

I wanna see some Endermen!

But some blazes could hurt either...

>>774617774617

"A half mile up in the night sky outlined with a black border was a massive, swirling vortex of violet energy"

Image: http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/additional/large/e8bf_nether_portal_glow.jpg

Black border + violet entrance = Nether Portal

XDDDDDDD

this is so similar in concept of entry (portal) to another fic I read before, I got the two mixed up as one story I feel stupid for forgetting

I am eagerly awaiting more.

Wow. Just... Wow. You, my good sir, have outdone yourself. This story is just... Amazing. Truly amazing. TAKE ALL OF MY THUMBS UP AND MY PINKIES!!

This chapter.  I like it.

ANOTHER!

Moar!

That is all...

-Jorofrarie

Sounds like his mind went to shit when the Nether Portal dun goofed.

I mean, COME ON. Ponies and creepers look nothing alike. Seriously.

>>813159813159

Well, of course they don't. But when he was scared out of his mind and the first pony he saw was Lyra, whose coat is similar in color to a creeper, it's easy to make that mistake. It's why he realized he was wrong when she screamed and others came to investigate. He keeps calling them creepers because he doesn't have a name for them yet.

>>814239814239

...I swear there is a hole in your logic.... somewhere....

>>815209815209

If you see one in anything I do, in continuity, plot, or storytelling, feel free to point it out. I will not begrudge you for my own mistakes.

>>815274815274

...!

Why isn't the first thing he noticed that the world wasn't made of blocks? Or is Minecraftia in this story not made of blocks?

>>815392815392

I have that planned for Chapter 5, actually, when the Crafter reaches the end of his recount. It's then that he notices that physics in this world don't really add up. If you recall, there is a bottom in his Overworld, and a hole in it to boot. Planets don't have bottoms. Or holes. The reason he didn't realize it right away is because he was still under the effects of traveling through the Nether Portal and was disorientated. Because of his disorientation, he only noticed small things like excessive debris(caused by the Portal) and that the creepers(ponies) come to Lyra's aid when she's attacked. Creatures in the Overworld don't do that.

Good catch, but I have that one covered.

>>815450815450

...Gah. I've been doing too much Phoenix Wright-related things recently. It's made me determined to find a contradiction.

This would not be the FIRST time some overprotective guards ruined a FIRST encounter.

>>918961918961

Indeed it wasn't, but ol' Captain Hawk was just doing his job.

Subtle comment is subtle.

>>918983918983

It wasn't meant to be subtle. Or suble, whatever that is. It was meant to be my first ever FIRST post.

How many "beta" readers do you actually have? You seem to be having a lot of trouble with showing vs telling in some areas, and I actually found myself skipping paragraphs in this chapter because of it.

>>919343919343

Only the 1 right now. The others are silent, likely due to creeper attack.

Anything in particular?

>>919352919352 Ah, well, I've gone through quite a few stories to pick them dry of the showing vs telling stuff, as well as everything from dialogue to  ellipses usage, and lately I've been feeling a tad spent. Unless you have a gdoc with anon comments enabled that I can pick at, I don't think I'd be able to point most of the stuff out.

Another reason I was skipping paragraphs was due to the time skip. Yes, I suppose it's a bit more interesting since it's from a completely different view, but the fact is we already know what's happened and don't really need any more information. I honestly think it would've been more interesting to have them, at the very least, start the chapter by immediately seeing/experiencing  the "Event" occur and going from there. Everything else just felt like senseless exposition that felt more like a history lecture than anything else.

As for your other editors/pre/beta-readers being mysteriously gone, that's really no good. I keep it in mind to have at least two fresh eyes look at what I've written, and I tell any author I edit/preread for the same thing. If you need any help, I'd be happy to offer my services, specifically in dialogue and showing vs telling styles.

>>919384919384

I actually thought about having the chapter start right at the Portal's appearance, but that left the question: where the hell was luna during chapter 1? I wrote in Chapter 1 that she was away so a Night Guard could warn Canterlot. If I just started Chapter 3 with her engaged with Steve?, that would be awfully contrived way to start a chapter. I needed a reason for her to be gone in the first place, thus the filler.

And i just started using Google Docs. Up for the job?

>>919419919419 Ah, very well. I can understand stuff like that. I hate having to reshuffle events in a story in that manner.

Anyways. I'm free whenever, just PM me the doc link (and if you want me to look over any other chapters you've written, links.) and I'll get started.

YUSS! MOAR! I AM PLEASED!

YUSS! MOAR! I AM PLEASED!

I'll admit that you've got me intrigued. Do continue...

I want to see there faces when they see he can build a house in a day and a castle in a week

I like this story mostly because it is exceptionally well written. well done.

"Why was this creature so strong? Did it break rocks for a living?"

Why yes, yes he does.

>>966962966962

A week? Jeez, you're a slow castle-maker. Once I have the materials I usually have a fortified town in an in-game week. And that's a great deal less than a day.

And speaking of in-game time, Steve?'s in for a huge shock when he realizes the nights aren't just 20 minutes long any more. Think of all the Creeper nightmares he's going to have...

Yes, I am aware that At the End appeared on the front page on 7/25/12 when there was no chapter update. This is a mistake on my part. I meant to edit chapter 3 and give credit to Viktor Lionheart for changes he suggested, but clicked unpublish on accident. Wanderer D has been sent a message on the matter. I did not do this to intentionally bump my story.

Congratulations on (another?) feature! This story is really awesome. Oh, and I'm still working on my own. Luckily they seem to be quite different, though I think the only similarity would be how he stores his inventory, and it's only slightly similar. Anyway, keep up the great work!

OH CRAP CREEPER! Oh, hi Lyra.

It appears to be that this story has made it's way to Author Support. Even though I've lost interest in Minecraft, I'm quite intrigued.

MOAR PLZ!!!

Enderpearls FTW, always reliable even with the damage they can do to Steve, although he wont be able to go far for a little bit since he's now even more weakened by using it.

you should add TooManyItems to this, it'd freak out the ponies seeing him pull out millions of potions of strength, poison etc.

>>970139970139

Steve's name is not confirmed, but is a generally accepted title given to him by the fanbase. I'm creating a universe about the miner if everything he experienced was through his own eyes. Since no one exists for him to talk to, he doesn't have a name, as it is stated in chapter two.

And the more noticeable differences, like time, blocks, and such, will come into play in Chapter 5: Alone

>>967269967269

That is the nicest thing I've heard in a long time.

>>971741971741

Feature!?

>>977923977923

As I said above, I'm going for a realistic approach, as much as I can anyway. Sorry, no mods.

Although...[REDACTED]

>>979789979789 I know that you're trying to stay to the actual MC but some mods might be helpful to Steve instead of being big balls o' hurt for the ponies, Smart Moving mod and possibly a better version of the actual Herobrine mod ? I'd love to see the ponies seeing the soulless eyes before he maims/kills a squad of Luna's or Celestia's Entourage

EDIT: could you add the pistons ? I can think of endless ways Steve could use regular and sticky pistons for traps and hidden doors

EDIT 2: Herobrine should actually be added into the story, he IS one of the main baddies in MC and I cant really see him being absent in the story. I'm sorry, but it just isn't right knowing that Steve's the only one in Equestria right now, can you please add him ? even a scene where one of the ponies or Steve sees the eyes would be good for now.

>>980001980001

There's an estimated 20 chapters total. There's plenty of time to have fun with the MC verse.

And if you're sharp, there's a hint to future events in chapter 4 that, to my knowledge, nobody found. Don't want to give too much away though....

EDIT: At the End's plot is already scripted in its entirety. I will not be changing anything, unless in extreme circumstances or bigass plotholes. As for Herobrine, I can neither confirm nor deny his involvement.

>>980063980063 gonna PM you on what I think is gonna happen, I mean, a nether portal about 1 kilometer bigger HAS to have some sort of platoon-sized enemy going through on one side or the other.

>>979789979789

Actually, it's been said by Notch and in the entity labels that he is Steve? not Steve. Notch ranted about it on his twitter in the earlier days of it.

make it when they find him agian he will have this building :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0csWJhEp2Ys&feature=relmfu

Ooh, nice opening! The beginning dragged a bit, but I assume it'll serve some sort of purpose...

>>982082982082

Well excuuuuuuuuse me , Princess!

>>999973999973

I like to call it the, "This peace will not last" approach or "Horker dung is about to hit the fan"

Anyway, thanks for the praise!

Well, wow. I'm really curious now! Also, pissed-off Luna.

>>999988999988 Ah; that makes sense, and it worked very well.

So, awesome fight scene, Steve? Using his abilities quite well, and the great reaction to the speed building. This, my friend, is officially something I'm keeping an eye on.

>>999988999988

Thank you, Han Solo.

And I was just trying to enhance accuracy, not trying to upset you, I'm sorry if that was the result.

>>10043281004328

Lol, you didn't. I was just quoting the Legend of Zelda cartoon and it flew over everyone's head. I'm not upset, just really nerdy.

>>10043501004350

ah, okay.

And it was the same quote Han Solo used in Episode IV: A New Hope

>>775869775869

Modified to cross to somewhere other than the Nether, in this case, of course.

>>10046051004605

Stop reading the script!

>>10046081004608

well, it obviously DIDN'T go to the Nether this time, unless the almighty Notch is having a laugh at poor Steve?'s expense again...

Amazing. Simply amazing.

this is one of the best written minecraft fanfics I have ever read

all the others are for shits and giggles, this is a well needed change of pace, keep up the good work

"Yes, a Human-In-Equestria story where the human does-not speak pony! Goodbye contrivance."

gg

whoops, he's not used to the whole "fire needs oxygen" concept yet, is he?

>>10301021030102

consider that he basically doesn't speak, period. He hasn't heard another living thing speak in anything he could understand for an unknown span of time.

>>10305081030508

"Or that." Ponders, "regardless of how-&-why it came to be, Steve's language-barrier is going to throw more wonderful drama (confusion) into the mix."

A warning, "as I've encountered in failed Human-In-Equestria fics: crystal clear communication kills possible drama. And to go further, with no drama I'd loose complete interest in a fic."

"Drama is life. Apathy is death."

>>10305961030596

"Potatoes are tasty."

>>10300201030020

Thank you very much. I love it when people stroke my pride. It makes me write faster.

>>10300651030065

That was my biggest problem at first. How do I make this interesting? Well, I found a could of twists that would be MOST enjoyable to write.

>>10305021030502

Yeah, he's still working on that different physics thing.

>>10305961030596

I planned for the start to have a language barrier, mostly because you never see him speak in the game. Granted, he CAN speak, he just doesn't want to anymore.

Is that a Captainsparklez reference I see? Awesome, and another great chapter! Meanwhile my almost-finished story is almost finished. Almost. Isn't procrastination wonderful?

I especially like that he doesn't speak equestrian; that's ano ontrivance among many that turn me away from HiE stories. I also like how you adress the squares problem. The culture shock in this story is some of the best I've seen.

One little nitpick: when describing Zecora, you said 'the stripped one' a few times. It's spelled 'striped'

Oh my GOD.  your editors seriously need to pick up the pace.

>>10328241032824

I edited this mostly by myself because my previous editors were swallowed by a rupture in time and space and vanished off the face of the Earth.

EDIT: Just got a new editor. Woot!

>>10309671030967

Yes. Yes it is.

just wait they look away for one hour bam castle fort they are messing with the fastest builder in the multiverse and survivalst probably

"The plot thickens."

Oh, this is going to be good. I recall the times where I left my little private server up, left for an hour, and came back to a large village with a farm, two two-story buildings and a memorial for a dead cat.

Never underestimate the power of boredom.

Poor Sgt. McMeowmers.

He probably had more diamonds then he knows what to do with by now.

HEROBRINE?

considering the monster's response it's either mobs or herobrine

>>10487701048770

Image: http://fim.413chan.net/fim/src/134314989169-Aliens-meme.jpg

>>10486481048648

Right now it has the thickness of those Aloe drinks I get from Piggly Wiggly.

The plot has not yet begun to get thick!

Image: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ln1k38U3r41qincmao1_500.png

Well, that sounded better in my head.

>>10486881048688

I think you might have a Herobrine infestation there. See top comment.

The End begins again...

And the Ender begins it.

Well, I honestly can't wait for the next chapter. This is one of the best and most engaging MC/MLP crosses I've found on this site, and it's amazing.

>>10488261048826

Do you really mean it? *sniff*

>>10488261048826 Basically, what he said. I like Celestia's touring Ponyville; and I wonder if any pegasi (coughRDcough) have gone up to the gate yet.

Out of curiosity, is it the same thickness as a normal gate (only one block wide) but with greater circumference, or is the thickness increased with the size?

Also, I have other stories that I was in the middle of reading, but when I found that this had updated, I went straight here.

>>10490151049015 Of course!

Thank you.

>>10488571048857

Oh yes, this is easily one of my top 20 favorite fics here period and my #1 Minecraft-related fic so far.

nothing in minecraft has digits right?

they are not going to be happy when sssssssssssssstufff happens

>>10490041049004

Thanks for the preference!

Celestia approaches the Nether Portal in the next chapter, but I don't see the harm in saying it now. The portal is of normal thickness, that being 1 meter.

>>10497561049756

For the sake of creative license, I changed that. It's just easier to relate to the guy if he's more human. And why is he not a hemaphrodite? I'm not good enough of a storyteller to make that work.

>>10497561049756 "sir, what is that behind you ?" 'SSSSSSSSssssss' *BOOOOOOOOOM*

>>766521766521 Interested.

"I'll put my bits on Enderman."

the Enderkind are stalking Equestria now...

I'm kind of wondering if they take on similar forms to the local ihabitants. if so, this could get interesting, as Steve? finds his first Enderkind.

>>10802841080284 And i'll put my bits on Herobrine

Almost definitely related to the fearful manticores. Herobrine, Endermen, other mobs, or

Image: http://robotmafia.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/arpxp_something_completely_different.jpg

Well, this should be interesting.

"It means, Ms. Sparkle, that there was somepony, or more likely, something, watching Lieutenant Chaser’s duel. It means that, despite our search, he, she, or it has remained completely undetected until now.” uh-oh, Herobrine is comin after ya Steve.