Interesting...

"Even one with the fastest reflexes could’ve gotten out of the way of it"

huh?

A Red Dead crossover? Ooh, Imma gonna hafta track this.

[Edit]: This...this is pretty good. It's not the best story out there and it has a few spelling/grammar/syntax errors here and there, but it has some pretty good potential. I'm hesitant to agree with your choice of bringing Dickens in with Marston although he does offer the easiest way to set up the back story of them getting sent to Equestria. After reading the A/N I really want to see what would happen if Irish got sent through the portal? OH THE SHENANIGANS! All that said, I enjoyed this and I really would like to see more. Well done, keep up the good work, take your time, and no pressure - only the fate of the whole world rests on you making a good story.

Should have thrown Irish in the mix...

Besides that, it was a bit too rushed. Sorry to say and even I am confounded as to how one could possibly extend an opening like that.

Pretty good story. Dialoge easy to understand. My fellow you get a point for....stuff...

One of my favorite games with ponies, I'll be watching this one.

The idea alone is brilliant. I will be expecting great things of you, amigo

though it was fast paced, i enjoyed this story. imagining it in my head made it even more enjoyable. try to add a little more detail, wasn't sure where john and Nigel even appeared when they arrived in ponyville. please write more

RDR crossover? INSTANT LIKE!

left for dead

Lets see where this goes

red dead redemption...bro you could make this story as shitty as possible, I'd still read it XD

Little fast but I'm sure you'll fix that.

1. Win.

2. Moar.

3. One thing I might work on is pacing. In the space of 2000 words, he's in Mexico, then Armadillo, then Dickens finds him, then he's in Equestria, then he's immediately found by everypony, introduced around, tells his life story, is taken to Twilight and hired to fight criminals.

Seriously, spread things out a mite.

Its kinda funny I was thinking of writing a crossover like this myself. Except John wouldve landed in Aaaaaahhhppplllleeeelllooossaaa. Still I am pretty excited to see where this goes.

Also John must ride Applejack

My only qualm is commas. You really have to look up the correct usage, since they seem to have been tossed all over the place.

>>768120768120

Oops, fixed

>>768506768506

>>768296768296

>>768143768143

>>768133768133

Sorry for the rushing, it was  10, 11, 12 o'clock at night. And I wanted to get it out of the way.

And Irish? Who knows? But I think I may throw that crazy, drunk bastard in there later in the story , I just don't like Seth, that guy creeped me the hell out. And I think that Marshal Leigh  Johnson, or maybe Eli or Jonah may be in there. But I just want to keep things simple for now

Loved it

Red dead and ponies...

THE WIN HAS BEEN DOUBLED!

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png

Oy! Alpha! Whatchya doing writing a new fic that's getting a ton of love in a short time?!

>>769020769020

Then I'm gunna cut you up, peice by peice. Ha Ha Ha... til you put Seth in.

>>769346769346

I have no idea!

[/Medic]

I've been logging so, so many hours into RDR recently. And I decided that I should make it a fic, who knew it would get more favorites than Ridley in Ponyville in only a few hours ?

God, yes. I sure hope this is the one good RDR crossover on this site that I've been lookign for since I beat the game.

>>768120768120>>769020769020

To me, it would make more sense if it said "Even someone with the fastest of reflexes couldn't have gotten out of the way of it."

Very good story so far! The only errors I saw where a few grammar mistakes and commas. I do admit it did feel rushed, but not too much to annoy me. Overall, good job!

Why Manehatten, Canterlot, and Appleoosa, you ask?

Manehatten: Blackwater

Appleoosa: Armadillo

Canterlot: Well...I suppose, in a way, Escalera, because of the Royal Army, it may not be the whole resistance and asshole Mexican Army story, especially with Princess Celestia and Luna, but it's kind of like that. Ya' never know :P

And, not to mention, Ponyville is also going to be one of these places, except I haven't really found a match to a town in Red Dead Redemption yet

I just the way he

>>776563776563

Ponyville=that starting farm place, i forgot the name :p

>>776737776737

Ah, yes, you must mean MacFarlane's Ranch

>>776750776750

Eeyup

Good job. I like it so far. ONTO THE NEXT CHAPTER!!

CONTINUE! THIS IS AWESOME! I'M ING THIS SO MUCH! I THINK MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON IS BROKEN!

It was a good chapter and an even better premise, but the whole thing could of been handled a little better. John is too much of a cool-headed guy to just pull out a gun on an innocent talking horse, also his sudden outbursts seem more suited to the tropes of your generic, adolescent,  anime school  du jour. But other than that it's good. Just wind the angst before it overpowers the whole thing.

>>781660781660

Heheh...sorry

I'll try to avoid that in the future, not playing RDR in a while has made me a bit rusty, my brother pulling me from his Xbox 360 temporarily is not really helping in that sense (Not enough money/too lazy to make enough to afford my own system at the moment). So I'll try to avoid that kind of issue again...

"...also, I have no control over that portal, now anyone can find it, and enter it."

Hark, detect I a possible drunk blundering into yonder portal in the form of a nun-robbing Irishman?

Not bad, everything fits and is fairly believable. Except it feels like john talks too much, I mean it took some time in red dead for the dialogue to really paint a clear picture of the situation with john using vague allusions to stave off other's inquiries at first, then gradually expanding on the topic. Not so much tell my life story to everyone who's slightly interested. I thought the breakdown was sort of uncanny, but then I remembered he's in another dimension, vastly different from his own, his families life is in jeopardy and he isn't even in his booth to answer the daily double, not to mention it's filled with colorful talking ponies so I guess I can't really blame him. Also, no pinkie pie party? hope to see more expanding on john's relations with the mane six throughout his time spent in equestria.

>>785891785891

Very plausible reasoning for a breakdown, and that's what I intended while I was writing that.

Celestia's ignorance in the sense that she set up a portal and sent John to Equestria willingly without understanding of his background is understandable. The whole pointing-a-gun-at-Twilight's-head ordeal probably shouldn't happen again, as, like Top Gear Tony stated, John has more of a cool-headed personality, calm in most situations unless he's seriously pissed off. Thankfully, I'm able to use my brother's '360 again and I'm able to play Red Dead Redemption given I have enough time.

So, hopefully, I don't make many more mistakes in introduced characters' personalities

>>784949784949

Could it be quite possible that ye Irishman perhaps stumbles into said portal and befriends another drunk of a magenta coloration?

>>788912788912

Mother of God....  

You'd be the second I've seen.

>>780759780759 You can hold down Shift to get lowercase letters...

>>789672789672

Yeah...I searched up more crossovers, and there's three or four others, but this one seems to be the most popular one...

So...I guess...?

>>789750789750 yES! iT WORKS! tHANKS A BUNCH mR. fROST.

>>791767791767

...

Just.

...

>>776563776563 Have you thought of Ponyville to be like Chuparosa?

>>798172798172

Yeah...I suppose in a way it is...So, I assume the full list would be:

Manehatten = Blackwater

Ponyville = Chuparosa

Canterlot = Escalera

Appleoosa = Armadillo

>>788931788931

That was intended as a joke, my friend.

However,  since Irish will most likely be put in here some time, for an 80th, 90th, or 100th favourite special, I would update a little side story with the nun-robbing drunk and Berry Punch, since they just click (Minus the nun-robbing aspect...)

princess celestia can rule my universe... All night, giggity.

>>799052799052 eeyup

Cue Drinking contest.

YYYYEEEESSSSS!!!!!! You took my advice!!!!

You just received a promotion in awesomeness!!!

>>878850878850

So many people wanted to see him in there that I couldn't just pass it down.

me ole' irish be here matey boy

I BESTOW UNTO YOU THY HOLY FN FAL OF WIN

Image: http://www.3drt.com/3dm/guns/FN-Fal01.jpg

Nigel: “I think-...I think I saw-...I-...Irish...”

Me:

Image: http://i472.photobucket.com/albums/rr87/crazzup/BisonYes.jpg

fantastic job, make john a little less irritated when hes asked about his family, other than that you still have me hooked

i see Irish introduced and the only thing coming to mind is him trying to rob fluttershy and john hitting him in the head with the butt of a revolver

the concept had me in fits for almost 2 or 3 minutes, brilliant brain child you have here and the story ain't half bad either

can't wait to read when AJ meats up with John, should be interesting

love the story would love to read john fight something a little tougher like a manticore or maybe even a dragon. And also just for future reference which weapons does he have, example explosive rifle, buffalo rifle, rolling back rifle, dynamite etc?

>>949276949276

His two main weapons will be the Springfield Rifle, Semi-Auto Shotgun, and Semi-Auto Pistol. I threw in the Schofield to add some variety.

>>949654949654 any of his throwable weapons dynamite, throwing knives , tomahawk, fire bottles?

>>949686949686

Perhaps Fire Bottles, because this is shortly after the Mexican Army fools you, so it takes place a bit before the mission where Reyes gives you throwing knives.

>>951780951780 Do you mean the mission where they knock john out the the rebel save him didn't john have dynamite by then?

>>954844954844

Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right.

So I suppose he'll have Fire Bottles and Dynamite, and I don't want to include anything from DLC, so no Blunderbuss, Explosive Rifle, or Tomahawks (Though, I *could* make a spinoff/sequel in the style of Undead Nightmare, but that's a tale for another time. ).

>>958040958040 Thank you for acknowledging my questions and sorry for pestering you. lastly a spin off sounds like it could be pretty good if written as well as you are writing this one.

>>768133768133>>768120768120>>768134768134

Sorry to bug you three.

If you would kindly pass this on to two other commenters if you would, I have sad news from the author:

'I took this whole thing way, way to far. With MLP and such. And, now, I'll watch the show, but no more fan-music, fan-fiction, none of that. I just need to change, I took everything way too far, even writing collabs with others...And...Well, now this.'

This will no longer be continued.

Thank you for your cooperation, and a moment of silence for this author.

>>10540871054087>>878850878850>>879804879804

Thank you, Dimondium, but, as this will be my last comment forever on this website, let me explain everything.

Several weeks ago, I was planning on making an Angry Video Game Nerd crossover with a popular writer named "Konseiga".

I ended up giving him my number to use texting as an easier form of communication, bad idea.

My texts and such were checked, and I was in really deep shit, excuse my language, and I got in really bad trouble. I had a bit of a realization that I took the fandom a bit too far, and I realized that I shouldn't be so outlandish with this.

I can say, though, this commune has made me a much better writer, musician, and just a person in general, and I have to thank all of you, the loyal fans of my stories, and the friends I have half-meet here.

I must bid adieu, and you can keep reading these stories, but I will writer no longer.

I just want to thank you two, especially, Dimondium and PegasusKlondike for making me better of a writer and better of a critic. I will remember the advice you have given me over time.

Goodbye, everyone.

>>11128021112802

Damnit, man, replying to my comment got my hopes up. Why? D:

Though, might wanna edit your info so people know you're done. Just saying, makes a lot of people less confused.

>>11128021112802 I feel like I didn't know you as well as I should have. Truly the twilight of a dedicated and respectable writer.

>>11128021112802

Well, that's life. Do what you gotta do. If you don't know, I'm BJtheweatherman on the MC forums, and it was fun talking to you on there as well. I'll read your stories someday. Best of luck. I'll tell them on the forums, even though you're not very active, if at all on there. I'm sure a few of us will remember you. Goodbye.

Heyo.

Do you think that this will be another depressing "I'm leaving" comment?

Well yer' sure-as-shit wrong!

While writing out a chapter four or special with Irish and Berry Punch may not be happening any time soon, I will let all of you know that I'm not leaving the website, though my appearance will be a bit more vague. And that slim chance that this will be continued? It may happen!

So don't keep your hopes high, but don't drop them, either!

All right, toodles!