Home of FoxofRarity and Nightmare Moon. My fave characters are. 1.Rarity 2. Princess Luna 3.Nightmare Moon 4 Octavia 5. Twilight Sparkle
An Alicorn comes back to Equestria after a two hundred year journey to find inner-peace from a scarring moment of his colthood, but fails. He meets the different ponies of Ponyville hoping that maybe friendship can offer a solution, but one pony in particular has greater impact upon him.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Yeesh, an OC alicorn with a troubled past and extraordinary abilities?
You should have named him Gary Stu instead of Gold Sky, just so there won't be any confusion.
Wait a minute,
Gold Sky - G.S.
Gary Stu - G.S.
Coincidence, I think not!
40980 I have no idea what "Gary Stu" is. But I write these Fan Fics so readers can read, enjoy, and love them. But Of course, I can't please everyone.
I like what i'm seeing so far, apart from some minor grievances. I will patiently await the next chapter.
What's baby setting?
wow
41714 Good wow or a bad a wow?
41721 Sham-wow.
Ill throw in a Good wow there Keep it up great work im actually really looking forward to more of this
41028 A gary stu is a character that is exstremly powerful and is normally the hero of a story and is in his own right a Deus Ex Machina in that he can solve issues that would take a god to solve good examples of these are
Goku
Naruto
Aang
the list goes on
also i'm tracking this because it looks awesome
Hmmm... pretty good, and yup, a gary stu. I like what your setting this up for. Tracking.
oh my god that was an amazing chapter i really do hope you make mroe of this fanfic, i would love to see what happens next.
images.sodahead.com/polls/001535359/9574200_OH_GOD_YES_YES_XD_answer_1_xlarge.jpeg
IT FINALLY UPDATED!!!
memberfiles.freewebs.com/98/89/85648998/photos/undefined/Crazy%20Nightshade%20prototype.jpg
Gold Sky finished hugging Celestia and looked up at her.
“Thank you. I wear this cloak to hide my true form because I don’t anypony think I’m royalty or something, I-I tried to become a pegasus once…but that failed.”
shouldnt it be-----i dont want anypony to think I'm royalty or something----- in that paragraph????
aside from that good chapter i look forward to reading more chapters as you release them.
OMG IT UPDATED!! First maybe!?
Edit:
OHH GOD!! dat update! after that mini-cliffhanger before Gold Sky and Ocatvia woke up! oohhh man it feels good to read this!
Kinda confusing if ya ask me
this was a most wonderful read, and well explained chapter, keep up the awsome work, i cant wait for the next chapter.
oh and that quirk with redheart being semi immortal, was a brilliant peice of work, prob one thats never been done before.
Hmm!
Love it!
But....
You should get a prereader/editor
This needs two different types of editors. One a grammatical editor because some of the tenses aren't matching up along with a few other instances. Secondly this needs a traditional editor to help point out where the dialogue is not working. So far I've had a few moments here and there where I read the dialogue and ask myself: "who talks like that?"
Example of "who speaks like this I mentioned last chapter "'DON”T EVEN THINK OF INTERRUPTING… because this part is more impacting!'"
A person might say because this part is more important but I don't think I know anyone who'd use the term impacting. It's either more important or has a greater impact or something along those lines.
all the comments!...?
That will not end well.
I love the story. I do... it's good... but there is so much wrong I've had a very hard time reading this because of the amount of spelling and gramnar issues, the lack of individuality in each of the characters, etc. I couldn't even read octavia's parts in what i imagine her voice to sound like.
The common advice in the comments are to find somebody to help edit this. You should look into it...
Tai NO! dont do it! DO NOTHING! ...... then she does things and welp to the fallout shelter!
Good as always !
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