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  • 17w, 1d
    Here we are again

    I don't know quite what to say.

    After such a long time, I don't know if anyone is still out there that cares about my story, but after a long, hard two years, I've finally decided to finish it. Life got to me, and I fell out of touch with the brony community. I don't want to get into specifics, but sufficed to say I've been unable to write for the past two years, which was a shame because it's such a passion of mine. About three months ago, I found myself in the position where my life is now more stable, and I've rekindled my love of My Little Pony. I come back with a single mission: to finish this story or die trying! To the three of you out there that didn't lose hope, you're crazy and I love you.

    Short story: I'm back. I refuse to let Trails and Trials be another unfinished fan fic.

    I also have a surprise plan! You'll have to wait an see though.

    Glad to be back!

    34 comments · 307 views
  • ...
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From a young age, Ditzy Doo knew she wasn't like most ponies. Jinxed and uncoordinated, she was shunned from all social circles as she grew up. When a friend finally comes her way, Ponyville's residential mailmare will surprise everyone—including herself—when she demonstrates how far she's willing to go to keep that friendship.

First Published
28th Nov 2011
Last Modified
23rd Jun 2014
#1 · 151w, 3d ago · · · The Mystery Prize ·

I must say I absolutely adore this story, I hope for more in the future.

Needs a flank-kicking scene with those two tormentors though! Leave Ditzy alone!

LEAVE HER ALONE! :twilightangry2:

#2 · 151w, 3d ago · · · The Mystery Prize ·

Awwwwww. Poor Ditzy.:fluttercry:

Great job. Moar plz!

#3 · 151w, 3d ago · · · The Mystery Prize ·

Hhhnnnnnggggg.

Well, aside from grammar issues (WHICH SHOULD NOT EXIST), this is great.

#4 · 151w, 3d ago · · · The Mystery Prize ·

I absolutely adore your interpretation of Derpy/Ditzy. Please, do contine this- and soon!

#5 · 151w, 3d ago · · · The Mystery Prize ·

I will be extremly dissapointed if those bullies dont have horrible things happen to them.

#6 · 151w, 3d ago · · · The Mystery Prize ·

>>40989

Thank you, and you'll have to wait and see. :ajsmug:

>>41058

I just finished fixing a few of them, though if there are any certain ones that stick out, please let me know.

>>41067

I'm glad you do. I do plan on continuing it very soon.

#7 · 151w, 2d ago · · · The Mystery Prize ·

They need a good flank kicking

#8 · 150w, 6d ago · · · The Mystery Prize ·

moar, faster, pl0x? :scootangel:

#9 · 150w, 6d ago · · · The Mystery Prize ·

This is perfect. Smooth writing, descriptive, muffins. This story has everything! I love Ditzy so much just hope it all goes well for her!!! P.s. Make bad things happen to those two pega-bitches:twilightangry2:

#10 · 150w, 5d ago · · · The Mystery Prize ·

Aww! I love you Ditzy! This is really good! Keep it up! :)

#11 · 150w, 5d ago · · · Tomorrow ·

Seriously! This is one of the best fics i've read so far. :pinkiehappy:

#12 · 150w, 5d ago · · · Tomorrow ·

Wow. You sir are an excellent writer. Cant wait for part 3. And is anyone else finding that this is the type of Ditzy that should be in every fic?:derpytongue2:

#13 · 150w, 5d ago · · · Tomorrow ·

dawwwwwwwww :rainbowkiss:

#14 · 150w, 4d ago · · · Tomorrow ·

This story is actually brilliant. Keep up the amazing work with this, I love it so much! :heart:

#15 · 150w, 4d ago · · · Tomorrow ·

I hope twilight puts her co-workers in their places...

#16 · 150w, 4d ago · · · Tomorrow ·

Error.

No criticisms available.

Perfect story achieved.

*bluescreen*

#17 · 150w, 3d ago · · · The Mystery Prize ·

This has spirit and power, but there is one editorial suggestions I would like to make: you seem to have a problem staying Pony. By that I mean that there are many instances when characters, especially Derpy, have hands and arms rather than forelegs and hooves.

You might just want to go over your work with regard for that. You also might find that by focusing on the fact that the characters are ponies, there are a lot of cool things you can do describing how they function using the body parts they have; how Derpy maneuvers packages, for example, using only teeth and hooves, that sort of thing.

Anyway, that was the one thing that glared at me, otherwise, please keep up the soul in this story!

#18 · 150w, 3d ago · · · Tomorrow ·

Are there any instances where I say arm (or another body part that isn't belonging to a pony? O_o if so, then yes that's a mistake and I'll need to fix that. However, if it's just you're not getting a feel that I'm talking about a pony through my descriptions, then that's something different entirely. While writing, I'm assuming everyone knows I'm talking from the anatomy perspective of a pony, so when I say "Ditzy waved", I would assume I wouldn't need to say "Ditzy waved a hoof" to clarify that she's a pony; we already know that.

However there are still many parts where Ditzy uses her teeth, hooves, and wings to accomplish many tasks, both in the first and second chapter.

I agree with you that I could go into more detail about how Ditzy's pony body reacting differently than a human's, but there's only a certain amount of detail I can add before the section becomes stretched and the reader is psychologically driven to skim.

If you find any places where I accidently say arms, or something like that, it would be helpful if you could let me know :twilightsmile: I was under the impression my proof readers and I caught all of them.>>47947

#19 · 150w, 3d ago · · · Tomorrow ·

Friendship acquired.

Summoning the Muffin Mare (Wouldn't that make an interesting title) :derpytongue2:

Anyway, I love this representation of Ditzy Doo. Keep up the good work.

#20 · 150w, 1d ago · · · Tomorrow ·

:coolphoto:Vunderful story. Though the tomentors will have to get maimed....

#21 · 150w, 1d ago · 1 · · Tomorrow ·

This is a very cute and well-written story.

And Ditzy is best pony.

That is all.

#22 · 150w, 12h ago · · · Tomorrow ·

CCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :pinkiehappy:

#23 · 149w, 4d ago · · · Muffins ·

:twilightsmile:

that's a good fict. well done my good sir

#24 · 149w, 4d ago · 1 · · Muffins ·

WARNING: Daaw levels reaching critical. Meltdown imminent.

:twilightoops:

#25 · 149w, 4d ago · · · Muffins ·

I teared up. This is just wonderful, and you are touching my heart. I look forward to more of this delightful tale of friendship.

#26 · 149w, 4d ago · · · Muffins ·

Ah.  Got some Liam Neeson working there, I see.  Cute story.

#27 · 149w, 4d ago · · · Muffins ·

>>57436 Glad someone caught the reference. There's a bunch of references in this chapter.

#28 · 149w, 4d ago · · · Muffins ·

*reads the part with ditzy pacing her livingroom* 11:45...

*reads when she sat down on her couch* 11:44...

HOLY SHIT TIME GOES BACKWARDS IN EQUESTRIA?!

#29 · 149w, 4d ago · · · Muffins ·

I was adopted myself, so every story I come across with Sparkler and Ditzy tends to turn on the facial faucets....I was such a mess after reading "My Sweetie" straight through.  I have to say I'm thrilled to see the love your Ditzy has for Sparkler :twilightsmile:

#30 · 149w, 4d ago · · · Muffins ·

God I love the references. I think I laughed for about 30 seconds with the 'Taken' one. Liam Neeson and Ditzy? They're both so awesome.

I loved this chapter and I love this story! Well done and keep up the great work! :D

#31 · 149w, 3d ago · · · Tomorrow ·

Overload in 3... 2... 1... DDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :fluttershysad: :fluttershysad: :fluttershysad: :derpytongue2: :fluttershysad: :fluttershysad: :heart: :fluttershysad: :fluttershysad:

#32 · 149w, 3d ago · · · Muffins ·

"The Great Dread Pirate Woona" ...I see what you did there :trixieshiftleft:

#33 · 149w, 3d ago · · · Muffins ·

Also, because I have the inability to shed tears over even the sadest things, resulting in sadness welling up inside me with no way to escape but comedic remedies. This story really does fit me well. It gives a sad idea, then heals it with a comedic remedy soon after. It really is quite enjoyable, keep it up.

#34 · 149w, 3d ago · · 1 · The Mystery Prize ·

First couple paragraphs = so much telling! :raritydespair:

Skimmed a bit later => same issue.

Judging from both stories, you should try to get out of your characters' heads more.  (Though I'm one to talk, hehe.)

This didn't hook me like "Lost" did.

#35 · 149w, 2d ago · · · Muffins ·

But. now that I look at it, there is one major problem. In the first two chapters Ditzy doesn't say, do, or think anything that would even hint that Dinky and Sparkler are part of her life. I would think that even though Ditzy may be a bit forgetful that she would at least remember her own daughters. In one of the chapters she even wonders if anybody would miss her if she vanished. Well I can bet that the kids certainly would...

#36 · 149w, 2d ago · · · Muffins ·

>>60272

Allow me to bring up the point I think you are refering to.

"Would anypony miss me if I just…I don’t know…poofed into thin air?

She felt silly for asking—of course there were. In fact, she could think of two ponies, and they were the ones keeping her sane(ish). Thanks to them, she had the will to fight through the perils of the day-to-day. "

This was clearly foreshadowing some form of substantial relationship, although I never specifically said daughters (I did this on purpose). Also you're forgetting the picture frame, which at the point is a plot device. I obviously didn't want to give anything away about the picture itself until the natural progression of the story gave the answer, and that meant masking that particular part of Ditzy's life until the right moment. Surely you can understand that?

#37 · 149w, 1d ago · · · Tomorrow ·

This story is brilliant so far. I love the internal monologues.... or in the case of Ditzy, dialogues (there is more of her in her mind, we all know it).

Also, I will never look at breakfast in the same way.

#38 · 149w, 1d ago · · · Muffins ·

I will not lie, thi has put me to tears.

Well done, that was one hay of a great fanfiction.

I loved the style you wrote it in, these small everyday duties becoming amazing challenges and adventures....

I would love to read more about Ditzy, Dinky and Sparkler!

#39 · 149w, 1d ago · · · Muffins ·

Oh dear, I didnt see that part Mazzy. Thank you for pointing that out.

#40 · 147w, 3d ago · · · Muffins ·

Bravo indeed. What was that fanfic with Sparkler though? I forgot the name.

#41 · 147w, 2d ago · · · Muffins ·

>>84994

I believe you're thinking of My Sweetie.

#42 · 146w, 2h ago · · · Muffins ·

I am liking this story my good sir. I can't wait to see where this leads to. 3rd chapter just gives you a warm fuzzy feeling and before ya know it ya got a smile on your face. Keep it up. :twilightsmile:

#43 · 146w, 2h ago · · · Muffins ·

I am liking this story my good sir. I can't wait to see where this leads to. 3rd chapter just gives you a warm fuzzy feeling and before ya know it ya got a smile on your face. Keep it up. :twilightsmile:

#44 · 144w, 4d ago · · · Muffins ·

My eyes...they leak tears of pure joy:pinkiesad2:

#45 · 143w, 6d ago · · · Muffins ·

MOAR.

#46 · 141w, 5d ago · · · Muffins ·

The fact that this hasn't updated in so long makes me sad. D:

That Monty python reference.... :derpytongue2:

The scene with Luna and Celestia was absolutely brilliant. And that ">implying" bit... :)

I love the way Ditzy perceives the world. Great chapter!

I had a bit of a fail when I uploaded this straight from Google Docs (first time), where a comment from my proof reader could be seen at the bottom of the chapter. Ignore it if you saw it, but it's been deleted now so we should be good.

That's a nice, heartwarming chapter. :twilightsmile:

Monty Python FTW

Also, the Pinkie scene, :rainbowlaugh::pinkiesad2:

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