This story is continued from my previous story A Broken Wing. After a terrible argument you go back to Cloudsdale where you meet Soarin. Will you ever be able to go back to Braeburn, or are you going to run off with the famous Wonderbolt? Th choice is yours.
In this story it is possible for you to lose or to end up with either of them. If you don't like the ending you got then try again. Though I will warn you a choice you make will not immediately cause you to lose, it may take a long amount of time before you do. So have fun, and try not to end up by yourself.
I have decided to let you, the viewers, decide what happens. The choices will be listed in the story, you will have one week to vote. Then the new chapter will be written, more if there's. The ending it totally up to you.
M/M shipping, second person
Special Thanks to: That_One_Brony for pre-reading
I would have pre-read for you but I was probably sleeping :P
777658 I sent you the message right when you logged off.
i don't wanna sound like a dick,but i noticed some mistakes, not too many just two
par 3 first line should be you, not your
par 19 line 3 good not god
all in all its a good story, i feel like you've pulled references of of other braeburnxsorren fics like cloud 9 and parts where the clouds break off because of thinness
or maybe you just thought of that on your own and great minds do think alike
sooo yea good story
778840 Thank you for pointing out the mistake. Also I got the idea for Cloud 9 from another fix, but not the cloud part. Maybe I jut remember it in the back of my head but didn't realize it, who knows.
27, that is all.
what?
779950 Did you not see the "Crazy" part of my name.
Also, WHERE ARE MY BROWNIES!!!
i was talking about the 27 part
780276 27 is like my catchphrase in real life. Because I'm CRRRAAAZZZYYY
778480 lol sleepin disorder mate it's a bitch.
780536 I don't know about you but I wake up a 5:40 A.M. no matter what day it is.
780561 On an average day I wake up at about 3:00 am and sleep (if I can) at like 12:00pm. Weekends I still wake up at 3:00 but sleep any damn time I want. Tired as shit right now.
The scoundrel.
the point of view is awkward and confusing; am I, the reader, in the situation or is it your FC? It's written in the way that I think I'm the one in the situation when it's actually your FC. I would change it so instead of it being an awkward first person with the reader, it's a first person through your character's eyes.
http://home.mchsi.com/~webclass/dialoguerules.htm
also, the link above should help with paragraphs.
Sorry if I come off as a bit rude, but I see it as tough love; I do it because I see potential.
Moar chapters!
Are you doing this through votes? If so, I vote for option 3.
1051654 OMG YES! *Glomp and kiss*
I was about to make choice of number 2 but I got hit by realization that I haven't remember most of this story because it haven't updated in while.
After a reread, I choose option 2 (AT start) then gradually through the next chapter or two it shall become option 3. If that does make sense
You could probably throw in confrontation where Brae thinks Soarin' does like the main character, for fact if that is true or not is up to you :)
choice 4, he owes you some answers.
2
1
I vote to hang with soarin
1
Choice 3: Ask Soarin' for help with Braeburn
option 2