<

Ninestempest

Joined July 2011
367 followers

Sequels

  • Faith
    Fluttershy, with the help of Twilight, plans to tell her friends that she's a changeling, but when Fluttershy and Twilight are teleported to a mysterious forest, it seems the two won't be able to find their way home.

    14,679 words · 6,212 views · 714 likes · 21 dislikes

Stories (10)

  • Right
    Twilight and her two friends go out drinking, but one of them is not what they seem...

    8,072 words · 9,497 views · 914 likes · 18 dislikes
  • Faith
    Fluttershy, with the help of Twilight, plans to tell her friends that she's a changeling, but when Fluttershy and Twilight are teleported to a mysterious forest, it seems the two won't be able to find their way home.
    14,679 words · 6,212 views · 714 likes · 21 dislikes
  • Pink Dream
    Twilight goes out on a date with Bubble Berry, but not all is as it seems.
    15,321 words · 7,045 views · 509 likes · 17 dislikes
  • Persona MLP: The Nightmare Hour
    A Persona crossover. An architect from Canterlot and the Mane 6 team up to investigate a string of kidnappings and murders in Ponyville, as well as a new, mysterious world that only appears just at midnight...
    39,876 words · 12,862 views · 133 likes · 13 dislikes
  • Burning Bridges
    18,153 words · 1,424 views · 133 likes · 15 dislikes
  • With a Spark
    9,321 words · 5,453 views · 112 likes · 14 dislikes
  • Out of the Blue
    51,608 words · 1,538 views · 62 likes · 6 dislikes
  • Epiphany
    27,577 words · 4,089 views · 102 likes · 16 dislikes
  • A Change in Scenery
    12,236 words · 437 views · 27 likes · 2 dislikes
  • A Vivid Twilight
    6,783 words · 967 views · 33 likes · 5 dislikes

Blog Posts (123)

106
9,497

Source

Twilight decides to go out for a friendly night of drinking with her two friends, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, to relieve the stress of planning her brother's wedding and defending Canterlot against the changeling invasion, but not all is as it seems.

A letter arrives in the middle of the night, informing the unicorn that one of her two friends has been replaced by a changeling.

First Published
17th Jun 2012
Last Modified
17th Jun 2012

Comments ( 106 )

#3 · 117w, 2d ago · · ·

The thumbnail just makes me feel bad for Twilight.:fluttercry:

#4 · 117w, 2d ago · · ·

THIS. A hundred times, THIS. *Read later*

EDIT; Wow, nice job with this. I really enjoyed the whole thing, but there are a few mistakes I'd like to point out for you.

That attacked my friends and I?

Here, it should be "my friends and me".

I... I haven’t even checked to see if she was breathings

Just get rid of the 's' at the end there.

“Uh, actually, could we talk in the hall way?” Twilight answered,

"Hall way" should be one word.

Other than those few mistakes, you did a very good job.

#5 · 117w, 2d ago · · ·

Awesome story. This is the second story I've read with the "I've been a changeling this whole time" theme, but still very well done. :pinkiehappy:

#6 · 117w, 2d ago · · ·

My guess:

Neither of them are changelings. :rainbowlaugh:

#7 · 117w, 2d ago · 1 · 1 ·

>>763261

Actually, the quote "They attacked my friends and I" is actually correct :derpytongue2:

Anyways, nice chapter :twilightsheepish:

#8 · 117w, 2d ago · 3 · ·

>>763532

Actually, that is incorrect. When the speaker is the direct object, the pronoun is 'me'. Also, it says "that", not "they". Even if it did say "they", it would stll be "my friends and me". When it comes to grammar, I'm almost never wrong.

The trick is to only consider the speaker. That is, think "that attacked [strike]my friends and[/strike] I". "That attacked I" makes no sense. "That attacked me" is the correct way to say it, so we add "my friends" back in: "That attacked my friends and me".

#9 · 117w, 2d ago · · ·

I don't know why but I saw the first reveal coming, the second one I must admit I missed.  Good story.  :pinkiesmile:

#10 · 117w, 2d ago · · ·

I... don't get it. :unsuresweetie:

Either:

1) Celestia knew about one changeling in Twilight's group - which she she knew had to be Fluttershy. So, then why say anything if there's no apparent threat?

2) Celestia knew there were two changelings in Twilight's group. Knowing Fluttershy was not a threat, why not just come and arrest changeling-Pinkie?

3) Celestia wasn't sure if it was one or two changelings... which still leaves Pinkie as the only variable. Why not tell just Twilight that Pinkie might be a changeling?

#11 · 117w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

No, Twilight.  You are the changelings.

#12 · 117w, 2d ago · · ·

Great story, I'm gonna call it right now that this will be in the feature box.  However I can't help to remember that during the last episode of mlp that Twilight used this beam spell that revealed the changeling and knocked it out.  I kept wondering why she just didn't use that spell on both of them.  However this was a fantastic story and it gets a much deserved like from me.

Cheers,

jangledorf

#13 · 117w, 2d ago · · ·

Just one chapter?  I could think of infinite ways to keep spinning this premise.  Sometimes short and sweet is best, though; it took me a while to guess the twist and even when I figured it out, that didn't deprive of it of the impact even slightly!

#14 · 117w, 2d ago · · ·

>>763629

The best explanation, which I probably should have given in the fic but it slipped my mind, was that she wanted Twilight to find out her friend was a changeling.

Why wouldn't Celestia tell her star pupil that she needed to find five friends and save all of Equestria from Nightmare Moon?

#15 · 117w, 2d ago · · ·

I thought twilight had a spell that removed a changeling's disguise.

#16 · 117w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

>>763774

Because if Twilight considered it her duty to find five friends, the relationships she made (or, rather, forced herself into) wouldn't be true friendships. Celestia had to arrange for Twilight to make friends without realizing it was happening. It was the only way for the Elements to work.

In this story, simply saying "Hey Twilight, Fluttershy's been a changeling the whole time, please don't kill her." would've been infinitely more helpful and safe for eveypony involved.

In terms of Fridge Logic, this story just about drops the whole fridge on my head.

#17 · 117w, 2d ago · · ·

>>763886

Well, as I'll explain in a blog post, the time frame for planning and writing this was abysmally short.

I'll see about addressing it in the future.

#18 · 117w, 2d ago · · ·

>>763261

Delayed reaction but a reaction nonetheless!  Thank you for noticing these things.  Object and subjects and pronouns always bother me, and you know what the general wisdom is about "my ____s and I" phrases.  Just a default response.

THE REST IS INEXCUSEABLE thank you~

#19 · 117w, 1d ago · · ·

>>765178

Not a problem! Glad to help out. :scootangel:

#20 · 117w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

The earth pony, unicorn, and pegasus walked into the bar.

The bartender asks, "Why the long faces?"

Sorry. It just had to be done. :pinkiecrazy: :rainbowlaugh:

*Prepares to duck incoming rotten tomatoes*

#21 · 117w, 1d ago · · ·

>>766780

Considering the SHOW ITSELF did that joke, you get a pass. :twilightsmile:

>>763774

Um, that explanation WAS given in the fic. Was it edited already? :rainbowhuh:

#22 · 117w, 1d ago · · ·

>>767359

It has already been edited in (as of around 2 in the morning), but I will say something else for those who are bothered by it's brevity:

The fact is that that idea/concept itself (that Celestia wanted Twilight to find out her friend was a changeling) could take an entire other fic to explore, so a very quick explanation is necessary, as it was indeed not remotely mentioned in earlier drafts.  I apologize for not being as clear.

#23 · 117w, 1d ago · · ·

>>767359

Heh. Well, thanks for letting me live. :pinkiehappy: :trollestia:

#24 · 117w, 1d ago · · ·

...and now I'm thinking about a crossover with one of the Changeling Bonbon fics. That, or a "Homeless Scootaloo is a Changeling" sequel. :scootangel:

Actually, forget that first one. A "Scootaling" story using this work's setting intrigues me. The method of Scoots getting "outed" practically writes itself, given what the CMC do all day, EVERY day.

:pinkiecrazy:

#25 · 117w, 1d ago · · ·

This... is pretty cool.  I like it.  Writing's well-paced, no glaring errors remaining, interesting concept.

Keep writing!  :twilightsmile:

#26 · 117w, 1d ago · · ·

>>767924

Cutie Mark Crusaders Changeling Investigators! YAY! :yay: :rainbowlaugh: :scootangel:

#27 · 117w, 11h ago · · ·

>>763834 that is what i thought before i even read it

#28 · 117w, 9h ago · · ·

lol well that was unexpected

#29 · 117w, 8h ago · · ·

>>771014

Actually, I meant the fallout from one of their Crusades, not the Crusade itself. (Read: Scoots gets ruffed up a LITTLE too much one day and shifts back to a form she never remembered having.)

#30 · 117w, 5h ago · · ·

>>774982

That was actually my trademark poor attempt at humor. Sorry if I was unclear. :scootangel:

#31 · 117w, 4h ago · · ·

>>776178

And as per MY trademark whatever, I forgot to add that your "poor attempt at humor" scenario works too. :facehoof:

Consider: The CMC go out on a half-for-jest Changeling Witchhunt, only to find out that Scootaloo was a Changeling the entire time and didn't know it herself. Yeah, that'd make an interesting "Chapter 1". Add in damaged/deformed wings so she can never fly and suddenly this theoretical story is VERY relevant to my interests. Too bad I'm not a writer myself. Anyone out there want to take up this torch?

#32 · 117w, 4h ago · · ·

Waht a :twistnerd:

#33 · 109w, 2d ago · · ·

...and for a moment, I thought Twilight was a changeling, and the letter was meant to confuse her. :applejackconfused:

Then I read the rest of the story - and rather enjoyed it!

Cynewulf
Story Approver
#34 · 109w, 2d ago · · ·

I actually honestly didn't see it coming. I just sort of assumed that it was Fluttershy because she refused to drink much. Well done!

SPOILER

And after reading... I can sort of see why Celestia didn't just come out and say it. If it had been Applejack... then she may have because AJ is levelheaded. But Twilight would've panicked if she'd known too much, overplanned. With no information, she made a fairly good plan. If she'd known about Pinkie ahead of time, she may have tried to force a confrontation-- one she may have lost, with no hope for finding Pinkie. But this way, she didn't do anything *that* rash and on top of that Celestia engineered it so that Fluttershy had an opportunity to reveal herself and lose that burden of dishonesty. Because, let's be frank here, Flutters would NEVER have done that otherwise.

#35 · 109w, 2d ago · · ·

I'm still waiting on the Twilight Zone-esque plot twist where it turns out Twilight was the Changeling Celestia wrote about!

:rainbowderp:

Or...not.

#36 · 109w, 2d ago · · ·

There's a minor continuity error: Twilight apparently both receives the book from Celestia with the letter and rushes to the library to get it herself.

"night to fill—the client ends"

There probably ought to be an "and" before that "the".

#37 · 109w, 2d ago · · ·

>>767464

Congrats on getting this on EqD. :rainbowdetermined2:/)*(\:ajsmug:

*Rereading for kicks*

#38 · 109w, 2d ago · · ·

>>1077314

Ha what was the same thing I was waiting for!

Still a decent enough twist even though Celestia not telling Twilight that Fluttershy was a changling didn't make sense to me.

Also, being a changling would be badass. You could give yourself whatever body you wanted.

#39 · 109w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

>>1077314

Oh, the twilight zone.... That's just perfect for puns.

#40 · 109w, 2d ago · · ·

Not gonna lie, changelings kinda creep me out with their exoskeletons and stuff.

But I'd huggle Flutter-changegling. :rainbowlaugh:

#41 · 109w, 1d ago · · ·

One, called the twist from the description.  Knew a changeling was there from the start instead of a replacement, and suspected it would be Fluttershy because hey, she'd be more dramatically nervous about being outed as such.  Also suspected you might have gone ahead and done both.  It was just the obvious direction.  Really I was more surprised that you did a replacement in addition to a changeling-Mane.

Second, so...wait.  If they've narrowed it down to Pinkie and Fluttershy (somehow, out of everypony in the massive wedding reception?), and their detection can trace a changeling within a few blocks, why not just separate them by several blocks and see which one (or as the case may be, both) is still pinging?

Third, if Celestia knew about Fluttershy, it was kind of a pointless :trollestia: to not just straight-up tell Twilight that in the letter.  Especially if she suspected there was an actual threat as well -- hell, it could have gotten both real Manes killed.

Fourth, it just seems wrong to end it there.  I mean yay Fluttershy's outed and Twilight still loves her but uh...Pinkie's apparently been ponynapped and nopony seems to care that much by the end of things. :twilightoops:

I dunno, it's an interesting idea, but there's just too many holes.

#42 · 109w, 1d ago · · ·

:fluttercry:

You made Fluttershy scaried!

#43 · 109w, 1d ago · · ·

I was half-expecting the Changeling to be Twilight...

There of course, is another [potential explanation to why Celestia didn't say anything directly. Even if she knew that Fluttershy was a changling, if hers and Luna's spell couldn't isolate Pinkie from Fluttershy (because they'd spent all day in proximity or something, not unreasonably), then they wouldn't be able to tell whether their Changling detection spell was giving them a false positive from Fluttershy or from her and Pinkie (as  the spell apparently doesn't give you number of changelings, only the presense of absence of same in a given area.)

So Celestia might have been playing very careful, and working on the assumption that while there was a slim possibility that Pinkie was a changeling as well, it - that is the positive reading - might have been only Fluttershy, who is entirely innocent. And that forcing the discovery by means other than this might well have been harmful to Fluttershy. So she sends the letter to Twilight very carefully worded, and hedges her bets that it's only Fluttershy she's picking up, and that - reasonably - if Pinkie is a changing too, her Faithful Student and the Element of Kindness can handle one changeling between them (since they all likely to be equally impaired by the booze). (Not unreasonably, given they way they kicked arse pre-wedding!)

Or it could be that Celestia and Luna simply didn't realise that they could be getting two changlings, with Fluttershy masking the other's signal, and Celestia assigning Pinkie just as the Element most likely to not overreact (negatively, at first) to the discovery.

(I assumed the former, personally, when I read it.)

I would also beg for a continuation or a sequel; I think Fluttershy revealing herself to a her friends would be worthy of a story in itself.

Excellent work.

#44 · 109w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1077550

... I am a very silly pony.

>>1077998

2. Because she doesn't want to force them to do anything suspicious?

3. The same reason she didn't tell Twilight in episode one that she had to go to ponyville to make friends and defeat nightmare moon.  She would freak out about it.  I think the better question to ask would by why didn't Celestia just arrest Pinkie Pie-fake, and the answer to that is to that Twilight would find out about Fluttershy.  It isn't quite as master-plannerful as Celestia seems to be in canon, but eh, this was written in one night based off a prompt.

4. The original ending was about 2k words longer, but didn't really reveal much else beyond that "they found pinkie okay."  From here, just assume as it was said: that finding her fake will find her as well.

>>1078232

You totally forgot to close those brackets.

Maybe.  I don't know if I will as I have lots of other works to continue or work on right now.

#45 · 109w, 1d ago · · ·

This was pretty good, I was really expecting Twilight be the changline somehow.

#46 · 109w, 1d ago · · ·

"Wait?  YOU were also pretending to be a Pony?  So was I!"  :rainbowderp:

"You too?"  :applejackconfused:

"WHEEE!!!  No more pretending to be pink!  It's SOOOOOO girly!"  :pinkiehappy:

"B-but, I thought I was the only Changeling!" :fluttershysad:

"Oh dear me, and here I wasted so much time keeping up appearances!"  :raritywink:  *Rari-ling goes and wallows in the mud as she's been yearning to do for years*

"Sooo... we're ALL Changelings?  Wait... does that mean..?"  :twilightoops:

"BEHOLD PONIES!!!  I AM REALLY A CHANGELING QUEEN!!"  :trollestia:

And so, it was revealed that everypony was a changeling, and that the pony race had died out several hundred years previously from an outbreak of hoof and mouth disease.  Except for Luna, the only pony left in da world.

(Luna Forever Alone)  

#48 · 109w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1079329

...I THOUGHT something was missing at the end...

My mind kept going "This story ended with them finding Pinkie. Am I getting this mixed up with another story? This ended with finding Pinkie".

Is there any particular reason that portion of the story was cut?

#49 · 109w, 1d ago · · ·

That was a rather enjoyable story. I wasn't expecting that particular twist, even though my mind was running through other possibilities ("Is Twilight the changeling? No wait - none of them are changelings! It's all just paranoia on Twi's part!").  Having them both be changelings - while still being distinct from each other (one good, one bad) was a neat twist.

However, my favorite part of the story had to be the stuff that dealt with Twilight's fear and paranoia plus her increasing drunkenness. There was some pretty compelling stuff there in our dive into what she was going through, and I wouldn't have minded a greater focus on that. All in all though, pretty good!

#50 · 109w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1080250

The last 2.5k words didn't really do anything other than showing that pinkie was found and that Twilight was okay with Fluttershy.  Considering that I can show that last part in like 500 words, it was just too many words to show too little.

0 32919 101817
Login or register to comment