Wrong Universe #2 - Deus ex Dalek
Before I start, I'd like to point out that this particular version of Dalek Sec stems from one of my other fics, called A Hero. If you like Daleks and magical girls, go and read that.
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Wrong universe #4
Deus Ex Dalek
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"WHAT IS YO-UR PUR-POSE HERE? EX-PLAIN!"
Twilight Sparkle winced at the volume emitted by the creature. It's voice, a terrible electronic stacatto scream, seemed to bypass her ears entirely. The owner of said voice was a tall, pepperpot shaped thing, colored a glossy black. At the bottom was an angular metal skirt, studded with spheres. On top was the midsection, protected by thickly armored panels and sporting the most curious pair of appendages; an egg whisk and a plunger. A grilled neck, protected by a thick cage, supported a dome, which was adorned with a pair of lights that evoked ears. A glowing blue eye, stuck to the end of a metal stalk, looked at her, unblinking.
They were in an abandoned warehouse, dark and gloomy, the air damp. A plethora of electronic and scientific equipment filled most of the space, beeping a constant electronic heartbeat.
Twilight Sparkle coughed once, and spoke.
"I am Twilight Sparkle, and I am here on behalf of Her Majesty the Princess of Equestria, to extend an offer of friendship towards you, mister..."
"SEC." the creature screeched, the lights on its dome lighting up with each sylable. "DA-LEK SUP-PREME SEC."
"Sec." the unicorn mulled over the name, "That's an interesting name."
"AS SAID BY THE SA-PI-ENT HER-BI-VORE OF IM-PRO-BA-BLE CO-LO-RA-TION." Sec deadpanned.
Twilight giggled. "Well, if you put it that way-"
"YOU HAVE FAILED TO EX-PLAIN YOUR PUR-POSE HERE." Sec bluntly interrupted her.
Twilight Sparkle was taken aback. How rude! she thought.
"I already told you,"she explained "I'm here to offer Her Majesty's friendship."
There was pointed silence from the other alien.
"An, um..." she racked her mind for the words she had learned when dealing with the human's doplomatic nonesense. "An Alliance?"
"WHAT IS THE PUR-POSE OF THIS AL-LI-ANCE?" Sec asked. Twilight couldn't tell if it sounded interested or not.
"To help us." Twilight told him, "As you know, humans are brutishly bloodthirsty, cruel, angry, petty, spiteful and warlike ugly savages. They create awful technology that kills the very world around them and spend their days making weapons for war. And it breaks the heart of every pony in Equestria to see them flounder, limited by their very nature and unable to get out of this cycle of war an loathing that the'ver made. That's why Her Majesty created the Barrier and we created the Conversion Bureaus, so that they may be turned into ponies and their minds be filled with happy thoughts and love, uplifting them from their base state into the perfection crafted by the godesses!"
"So, what do you say?"
The Dalek seemed to think for a moment, before speaking.
"RE-QUEST DE-NIED." it said.
Twilight Sparkle blinked in surprise, not sure if she had heard properly. "What?" she finally blurted out.
"I SAID "RE-QUEST DE-NIED". ARE YOU IN-CA-PA-BLE OF PRO-CES-SING STATE-MENTS?" Sec said, his voice growing slightly louder. "I HAVE DONE RE-SEARCH IN-TO E-QUES-TRIA AND ITS CON-VER-SION BU-REAUS, AND THE BEINGS YOU WOR-SHIP AS GODS. THEY DIS-GUST ME." he spat, "YOU DIS-GUST ME, A CREA-TURE WHO BE-LIEVES IT-SELF SU-PE-RIOR TO O-THERS, WHE-N IT HAS NOT DO-NE A-NY-THING TO WIN THIS CLA-IM."
"I-" she started to say, when a blast of light from Sec's whisk-like Gunstick made her scream in pain, and left her writhing on the floor.
"EX-CRU-CI-ATE." Sec said, and continued to speak, "HU-MANS ARE THE SU-PREME SPE-CIES ON THE-IR PLA-NET BE-CAUSE THEY DID E-VE-RY-THING IN THEIR POW-ER TO EARN THEIR PLACE. THEY HAVE FOUGHT DI-SEA-SES, PRE-DA-TORS, THE WEA-THER AND THEM-SELVES, AND THEY BE-CAME STRON-GER FOR IT. ON A WORLD WHERE E-VERY-THING WAS SET TO EX-TER-MI-NATE THEM, THEY TRI-UMPH-ED. THE AN-CES-TORS OF ONE HU-MAN A-LONE HA-VE DO-NE MORE THAN ALL OF E-QUES-TRIA COM-BINED. THEY ARE A SPE-CI-ES WOR-THY OF SUR-VI-VAL, AND OF CLAIM-ING THE STA-RS."
He advanced on her and picked her up from the ground with his plunger, the rubbery appendage grasping her by the neck. "YOU!" he spat, his voice filled with a hate she couldn't comprehend, a hate that literaly knew no bounds. "YOU HAVE DONE NONE OF THOSE THINGS! YOU NE-VER HAD TO FIGHT FOR YOUR OWN SUR-VI-VAL, YOU NE-VER HAD TO WATCH ALL YOU HA-VE BUI-LT BE DES-TROY-ED BY DIS-AS-TER, YOU NE-VER HAD TO COM-PETE FOR RE-SOUR-CES. YOU HA-VE BE-EN COD-DLED BY BE-INGS THAT YOUR KIND CON-SI-DER DEI-TIES, AND IT HA-S MA-DE YOU WEAK!" he tightened his grip on the unicorn's neck, making her struggle for air, "YOU ARE LIT-TLE MORE THAN A SLAVE, A MIND-LESS DRONE SE-NT TO EX-E-CUTE ITS MAS-TER'S COMMAND. AN OB-SO-LETE PA-RA-SITE THAT NA-TURE SHOULD HAVE EX-TER-MI-NAT-ED LONG AGO, NO-THING MORE! YOU ARE AN IN-FE-RIOR BEING, AND HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE A-NY-THING!!"
He threw the pony like a ragdoll, and she landed painfully on the cold concrete floor. With great difficulty, she got to her hooves.
"You..." she said, her voice weak, "This... What you have done is an act of war!"
"WAR!?" Sec screeched, mocking, "THIS IS NOT WAR, THIS IS NOT E-VEN PE-ST CON-TROL!!"
"Oh really?" the pony stood, defiant, her horn cackling with power, "The Princesses would have you in stone in an instant!"
"I COULD DES-TROY THE A-LI-CORNS FROM WHE-RE I STAND. OB-SERVE! AC-TI-VA-TE ROOF ME-CHA-NI-SM!!"
The entire warehouse seemed to come alive at his screaming voice. The machinery whined and whirred around them, and the air became filled with the sound of cooling fans and the hum of electricity. The roof groaned, shook, and then opened, hissing hydraulic pistons pushing it open, allowing something at the center of the mad collection of machines to stand.
It was a tall telescoping steel tower, with a turreted retro-styled raygun at its tip. The whole contraption cackled with barely constrained energy, blue and purple lightning dancing along its various surfaces.
"BE-HOLD THE THAUM-IC DES-TROY-ER!! THE DOOM OF YOUR WO-RLD!! AS-SU-MING DI-RECT CON-TROL!!"
The turret swiveled to aim at the Barrier, visible from where they were. It covered the entire eastern horizon, a wall of light, deadly to all things of this world. Twilight's eyes went from it, to the insane contraption that the Dalek intended to use against it.
It was like comparing an ant with an elephant. For a moment, she felt pity for this poor, misguided being.
"CA-PA-CI-TA-TORS CHARGED, TAR-GET LOCKED, THAUM-IC RE-SO-NAN-CE AT TO-TAL SYN-CHRO-NI-ZA-TION!!" the Dalek screeched, over the din of the machinery around them. "O-PEN FI-RE!! O-PEN FI-RE!! O-PEN FI-RE!!!"
Eldritch energy, which seemed to suck the very light around it, gathered on the tip of the machine, and let fly.
It struck the Barrier, and made it crack.
Twilight could only watch in horror as enormous cracks spread throught the Barrier, which had withstood humanity's greatest and most terrible weapons without so much as a dent.
The cracks spiderwebed across the entire surface of the dome, growing in size and depth. In Canterlot, Princess Celestia staggered, gasping in pain and surprise.
For a tenuous moment, the barrier held its shape, before shattering, a collosal explosion signifying its demise. All across Earth and Equestria, ponies heard the pained, terrible cry of their dying goddess, and Canterlot was consumed in light as she lost all semblance of a physical form.
Twilight Sparkle colapsed, nearly catatonic, shivering and sobbing with grief, her eyes filled with tears. Any man would have been moved into comforting her.
Dalek Sec wasn't.
He stared at her, impassive.
"I COULD EX-TER-MI-NATE ALL OF E-QUES-TRIA BY MY-SELF." he said, without even a hint of a boast in his voice, as if he were stating a fact obtained from a book, "HOW-E-VER, THIS WILL BE THE END OF MY D-IRECT IN-VOLVE-MENT."
"YOU HAVE THREE CHOI-CES NOW, E-QUINE." he said, picking her up and bringing towards the carrige waitning outside. The pegasi that pulled it were roused from their despairing state by a gunstick blast passing in front of their muzzles, and Sec unceremoniously dumped her on the carrige's seat. "YOU CAN RE-TURN TO CAN-TER-LOT, MAKE WHAT-EV-ER LEAD-ER-SHIP RE-MAINS SUR-REN-DER TO THE HU-MANS, BE AS-SI-MI-LA-TED IN-TO THE-IR CUL-TURE, AND BE-COME A MERE SUB-SER-VIENT MI-NO-RI-TY UN-TIL IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO BE-COME O-THER-WISE. YOU CAN CON-TI-NUE YOUR PO-LI-CIES, BE EX-TER-MI-NA-TED BY THER-MO-NU-CLEAR FI-RE, AND BECOME NOTHING BUT A ME-MO-RY. OR, YOU CAN ALL STAND THERE, AND DIE OF WHAT-E-VER PSY-CHO-LO-GI-CAL E-VENT IS OC-CUR-ING IN YOUR MI-ND."
"THE CHOICE IS YOURS, AND IT IS MORE THAN WHAT YOU DE-SERVE."
Another near-miss of the gunstick frightened the dazed pegasi hitched to the carrige into flying off, into the distance. Sec tracked them with the eyestalk's zoom, untill they suddenly changed direction towards where the Barrier once was.
Sec checked his data sources, and was pleased when he saw that every army of the world was mobilizing every single unit they could muster and directing them towards Equestria. The way he saw it, the ponies would have to capitulate to what could be the harshest terms of surrender in human history (Dalek history being an entirely different matter), but they would live.
Assuming they chose to surrender, of course. Sec knew that he wouldn't, but then again, he wouldn't have allowed this sort of situation to happen to him in the first place. He sorely wished that he had the time to go there and Exterminate them all, in his mind, they were quite unworthy of existance. But, sadly, he was too busy and it was the humans who would end up deciding their fate.
And humanity could be very forgiving.
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and again you have me cheering for Sec! Curse you, you magnificent bastard!
Although it is your version of Sec, so for me it's cool. 
759139 Yep, it's ME. And the Reaper in question is called Sheppard.
TAKE ALL MY THUMBS UP!
VERY YES. Between this and A Hero, how is it that you are so good at making intrinsically abominable monsters heroic champions of what is right?
759761
By making them fight something they find disgusting.
Think you're gonna boot up a new thread just for this, or are you using the main thread to mine ideas? because I think we all have something to contribute here.
~Swordomatic
i.imgur.com/IOLd8.gif
You know you've made a colossal fail when the fucking DALEKS are disgusted at you.
this story is glorious. would you mind terribly if i flung ideas at you like tomatoes at a medieval prisoner.
here's one i would pay blood to see.
"equestria has finished the conversion of a place called 'westeros' and all the lands that surround it. the conquer aegon is defeated and celestia now rules all.
then the winter comes and with it the shadows and the snow and Celestia learns that fear, true fear, is reserved for the cold, and the things that stir with it."
Everything I hate about the ponies in the TCB universes summarized by a Dalek...
Would be interesting to see Celestia attack a world with human gods, cause they surely would kick her ass. Maybe a Shin Megami Tensei universe against the Demi Fiend. Or Kratos, or the Winchester Brothers.
This.....
This is brilliant!
Moar please!
Wow. Daleks are evil! But I was cheering during his rants . . . now I want to my OWN CB story
"AS-SU-MING DI-RECT CON-TROL!!" I freaking lost it at that point.
766987
That's the magic of the TCB crapverse.
and then cellestia released discord, and discord wiped out the dalek! dude run the numbers daleks would not win in equestria cause they can't adapt to what is a infinatley shifting energy weapon, which magic is. this would be over in minutes
Dude, I fell over, laughing SO fucking hard at this chapter. THIS was awesome.
Faved!
767302
i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/005/498/1300044776986.jpg
766931
Demi-fiend: Fucked.
Kratos: bloody mess and fucked.
Winchester brothers:Trolled and fucked.
All three: well...
2.bp.blogspot.com/-TwfEgfxfJaE/TyRy-dOlhiI/AAAAAAAACGA/6Yg6zTJmklk/s1600/MeGustaCreepy.png
The Avengers verse could be amusing. Also,767302 YOU WILL BE EX-TERM-INATED!
767302
Human, you do not yet comprehend your place in things. The beings you call Daleks will bring your salvation through Celestia's destruction.
This was glorious, my opinions were perfectly summed up by Dalek Sec. Now do the Locust from GOW, that or whatever you want cause I'm sure you've got it down.
767614
Dalek Sec pretty much bitch slapped the entire TCB fandom and summed up the Anti-TCB movements thoughts in one glorious rant..
767784
Dam right!
767302 Orly? ANTI TCB FIC, if ya don't like it go smother yaself in Chatoyance's mess of misanthropy.
The Warhammer 40k universe could be interesting...
767302farm5.staticflickr.com/4083/5055032357_69d1d1be72_z.jpg
You should really do a doctor who side verison. See how he reacts to the ponies and their decision to destory humans
I think you should do Transformers next. I mean who wouldn't want to see Primus himself, the creator god of all Transformers, duke it out with Celestia. I would think that being faced with the threat of extinction would definitely count as Humanity's darkest hour.
Brilliantly done! Even though the Dalek are more than willing to put down any sentient species in the galaxy, they never are truly disgusted by any of them. Rather they do have some form of respect for those who survive, no matter how small it is.
Ponies... they aren't survivors. Perhaps pre-Celestial ponies but not these ones. It's actually quite amusing all things considered, what with mankind's greatest threat having a high opinion on it while looking down repugnantly on the ponies for trying to convert them.
How about a God of War universe? That'd make for a pretty brutal end for the princesses.
Hmm, what other sorts of universes could really mess up a CB type story?
Getter Robo - Getter rays being evolution manifested as a form of energy would certainly make them anathama to Equestria. Likewise considering how Getter Robo once evolved to the point where it encountered god (And then kicked his ass), it's certainly something that Celestia would regret underestimating. Or that could be an aftermath type story involving the discovery that attempts to seal away Getter Rays during the conversion were less successful than believed.
Yu Yu Hakusho could be interesting, especially if the various afterlife realms judge Celestia's actions an attempt at stealing the souls their responsible for overseeing.
The World of Darkness ... Well that might be a bit mean to Celestia.
Though speaking of stacked decks, both Marvel and DC are stuffed with potential calamity - in marvel's case even discounting cosmics like Galactus, the Celestials, Odin, Thanos and more, even Dr. Strange on his own would probably be plenty to end the whole conversion thing. And DC has more magic based characters than Marvel does.
maybe their could be a cthulhutech verse maybe?
there's a whole cornucopia of brutal deaths waiting for the converters there. and that's not even getting to those caused by the gods...
Awesome stuff man - and heck, for a suggestion for a world to cross with, how about the actual MLP:FIM universe - one where Celestia and Twilight are appalled at their counterparts' acts of genocide (in complete opposition to the principals of Friendship and Harmony), and form an alliance with humanity to bring down the Barrier?
770060, now that would be awesome. It shows how contrary to the show's message the TCB-verse is.
First of all: Holy Saajuk look at all these comments!
769332
770060
My good friend RK_Striker_JK_5 made one that involves both of them.
Now, what do you people think of this: Xenocidelestia being smote down by the combined forces of Hiigara, the Bentusi (!!), the Taiidani and all fourteen Vaygr Crusades?
.
769604
Sadly, the only anime I have watched is Puella Magi, and the only Tabletop Game I am even remotely familiar with is 40K, so I know absolutely nothing of what you're talking about
I do know enough about comics to know that invading DC and Marvel Earth would be a horrible idea.
767302
Absolutely nothing about your statement makes sense. First of all, releasing Discord implies a level of spite and desire for petty revenge that is absent in TCB!ponies. Second, Discord would side with the humans, as we are infinitely more agreable to him than harmony-loving, orderly, perfectly peaceful ponies. Third, REA-DY A-DAP-TIVE SHI-ELDS! EN-GAGE PLO-TO-NIUM BE-AM!
In fact, your "argument" is so incoherent, it reminds me of a three-year-old that's angry because he lost at his most recent game of pretend. This makes me wish to ask you the following:
Dear fellow, are u mad?
766748
766931
To give you an idea of just how abhorrent TCB!Celestia is, Daleks are best described (and portrayed) as Imperialistic Space Super Nazis.
I have not changed that characterization.
766931
Well, he did do his research...
766987
I seem to have some ability for speeches, as the last time I made one (Dalek Sec vs. a Puella Magi Madoka Magica Incubator) got similar response.
Awesome Dude!
770320
Thanks for pointing it out to me, I'll make sure to keep an eye on that story.
I have only one word to describe what reading this story is like:
Cathartic.
POKEMON!!!!! Arcues and all the other pokemon fighting a destroying The ponies would be awsome.
Okay, first off, this is just, awsome. Pure, awsomeness, at it's finest. A series of short stories about Celestia and the ponies getting there sorry flanks completely OWNED.
Seriously man, where the hell were you when we needed authors like you? I have been seriously waiting for this FOREVER! I mean... I'm just.. I'm so HAPPY! 
DOWN WITH CELETIA AND THE CONVERSION BUREAU'S! A POX ON THEM! A POX ON THEM I SAY FOLKS! LET'S ROUND UP A POSSY AND GRAB SOME TORCHES AND PTICHFORKS. NOW THAT THE SHIELD IS DOWN, WE CAN COMMENCE AN ANGRY MOB RAID!
I only wish that I could give more, but I've run out of facial hair.
I had a weird thought: does this mean Shepard is Best Reaper?
*thinks about potential Alt!Worlds* Hmmmm.... FALLOUT! The thoughts of either The Vault Dwellor, The Chosen One, The Lone Wanderer, or The Courier (or all four) kicking butt tickles me. ...But then there's that Magical barrier to worry about.
There's always the Cthulhu-verse. Celestia's Genocide campaign wakes up The Old Ones.
OOH! Ponyhammer! One old idea was that the Orks of this version were Humans, and that some WAAAGHs were actually allied with the Imperium of Ponies. So, Xenocidelestia starts wiping out Earth in the Ponyhammer verse, only to find not only millions of human ships inbound, but pony ships too, lead by an Alternate version of herself, her student and her friends (Twi is an Inquisitor, the rest of the 6 are mareines)! The sound you hear is Celestia's mind breaking.
Then there's Digimon, more specifically the version after Season Two where the digidestined number in the millions.
Subtle.
Hmmmm, what about the Borderlands universe ? Hehehehhehe, ponies would be killed in the masses by Skags, Raak, Scythids, Spiderants, and others. Or the Elder Scrolls universe. Tamriel is in good shape and has many magical forces. I could see the Daedric Princes wrecking havoc on Equestria.
Hoping to see Draka here.
773954
Like a flaming train being flung at you by a railgun at sufficient velocity.
775171
Which era? WWII Draka? Protracted Struggle Draka? Final War Draka?
WWII Draka would be best, athough it would probably end with the TCB ponies pulling an Even Evil Has Standards on them (and yes, I just said that).
Might I make a suggestion?
outlawcustomdesigns.com/product_images/d/735/ANI-GRL-003__38834_zoom.jpg
With the speech being delivered by Kamina and Adult Kamina, right before the ass kicking.
I love your ideas! Might I suggest the Earth as portrayed in The Matrix? Where the robots have taken over and are using humans as batteries?
770784 Let me just second this right here right now. Hell, MewTwo would OWN Celestia's ass in less than three minutes!
I laugh, but seriously, he would. He's an enhanced clone of Mew, who is pretty damn close to being a physical God in and of itself in the Pokemon universe, and MewTwo has all of that plus he's very, VERY easy to piss off if you know how, and the crap Tyrant!Celestia is doing with the Bureaus would do it in ten seconds flat.
770320
> Now, what do you people think of this: Xenocidelestia being smote down by the combined forces of Hiigara, the Bentusi (!!), the Taiidani and all fourteen Vaygr Crusades?
*head explodes*
767302
dude.... wrong definition of magic.....
in a fantasy universe, Magic is NOT an infinite-shifting energy, it is limited and has one form
Spells on the other hand can take an infinity of forms, but they are still limited by their energy reserve.
Sure, they could cast a spell that destroys all Daleks in one shot.... but that'd need a lot of energy probably even more than normal mana reserves.... and.... such a spell would burn humanity away as well..... Ponies are pacifists so they wouldn't do that....
now maybe Discord could say: Screw those rules, but would Celestia REALLY risk unleashing him....