• Published 2nd May 2016
  • 7,138 Views, 86 Comments

Make it Stop! - Captain Unstoppable



What happened to Big Mac after he ran off after Starlight Glimmer had made the stallion known for silence unable to stop? Cursed to say everything he had always held inside, how will Mac survive a day as every thought he has he says out loud.

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Make it Stop

Make it Stop

“Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop!” Big Mac screamed as he sprinted through the fields of Sweet Apple Acres, but no matter how fast his hooves ran, his mouth was faster. All of his thoughts were turning into words before he could stop them. His once simple way of life had been shattered in seconds, and now... he was a mad-stallion!

“My word, the sun is bright today! Doesn’t Princess Celestia know that high temperatures could inhibit the growth of apples?” Mac’s mouth just kept on running, commenting on anything and everything. “And, honestly, what was Applejack thinking bringing that Glimmer character to the farm? A pony who had controlled others with her magic? I thought Applejack had enough common sense to know that would be a bad idea.” Mac’s heart gave a start as he realized what had just come out of his mouth.

His words were thoughts he had kept buried within him, thoughts that he knew could hurt others if he were to ever give them breath. Yet here he was, mouthing off like some gossipy nag.

“I say, is this what Rarity does in her free time?” Mac felt his heart drop at those words as he kept on sprinting, his mouth still running as if to keep pace with the fall of his hooves.

“What is wrong with you, Macintosh? Talking about a fine and beautiful mare in such a way. Shame on you for thinking such things about a mare you once considered asking out.” All Mac could do was feel his stomach twist and turn as his mouth kept on running, revealing things that he had never uttered to another living soul. “And why are you talking in such a way? You are from the country, you silly colt. You love your accent! And so do those mares.”

His eye twitched. He begged it to stop.

In a dead sprint and with his mind trying to catch up with what his mouth was saying, Mac had little time to react as he found himself entering Ponyville. Worse yet, he was coming down the main street of Ponyville, where ponies had set up stalls for market. The horrors of what was to come sent a new wave of panic through Mac as his hooves kept on carrying him forward, trying to blast through the street before his curse could shine.

Fate did not smile kindly on the eldest Apple sibling that day.

Every other pony seemed to call out to him by name, as though the sight of him barrelling through town in a dead sprint was nothing unusual. Though, to be fair, as of certain events it might have been one of the normal things that had happened in recent weeks.

“Afternoon, Big Mac!” Mac turned to see Carrot Top at her stand, her stand covered in carrots ready to sell. “Can I interest you in any carrots today?”

“Not in the least! I find your prices too high for the product you serve!” Mac tried to bite down on his tongue to silence himself, but his mouth kept on going acting independently from the rest of him. “Most times I can barely stand the taste of them!” How he wanted to slam his head against a wall till he was unconscious, but he just kept running through, not daring to look back at the mare.

“What up, Big Red?” The voice was low and casual, dripping with the ease of one who didn’t have a care in the world. Mac recognized Tree Hugger coming into view, waving a hoof at him as she was walking down the streets of Ponyville.

“Get a job, you dirty hippie!” Mac bellowed back, hooves too occupied sprinting to knock his own block off. His father had to be rolling in his grave right now at the way his son was treating mares, but Mac could not help it as he kept on running through main street, trying not to make eye contact with anypony.

The entire time between ponies his mouth kept on running as he commented on what ponies were wearing, the condition of the buildings he galloped past, or the products ponies were selling. The whole experience was an absolute nightmare, he would have to move far away from Ponyville after today, as far away from Ponyville as he could to avoid the shame. He would have to dye his mane a different color and change his name. He had heard Stalliongrad was nice this time of year.

Just as the ideas of moving far away danced in his mind, his mouth telling the world around him the idea, as well about how Stalliongrad was a place where a pony could get work if he was strong enough, he saw salvation. There was a turn up ahead that could lead him right out of town and back towards the farm.

Without hesitation, Mac started to bank a hard right turn and charged for the side street, his mouth rambling on about how he had not run this hard since the last Iron Pony competition.

“Hey there, Mac! Where’s the fire?” Mac’s eyes went wide as he came face to face with Caramel, right on the corner leaving Main Street. The dark yellow pony stood a few yards away, just smiling as if it were any other day. Mac started to skid to a halt, his hooves plowing the street behind him. Caramel flinched, raising one foreleg up to protect himself from the oncoming collision.

Luckily, Mac stopped mere inches from Caramel, his eyes wide as he stared down at the stallion, who had his own eyes squeezed shut. Slowly, Caramel opened one of them to find Mac had halted before him, and he gave out a slow breath. “Luna, Mac, you nearly gave me a heart atta—”

“You need to stand up for yourself!” Mac could only stare down at Caramel, who looked up at him with equally wide eyes. His body wasn’t moving but his stare was locked on Mac. Or perhaps was going through him.

“Wh… what?”

“You’re too soft! You let ponies walk all over you!” Thoughts Mac had once had about his friend started to spill out of his mouth, and it didn’t have the decency to ask for permission to speak. “You’re a great friend, Caramel! One of the best I’ve ever had! But can you stand up for yourself. Just. Once!? It always seems that you want to be a doormat to let others clean their hooves on! Celestia bless it, you need to be a stallion once in a while! Go get a date, tell the waiter they brought you the wrong order, just go do it!” Mac wanted to bash his skull in, find a deep hole and bury himself in for the rest of his life.

Caramel just stared back at Mac, his eyes still dinner-plate sized and starting to glisten with tears. “Mac… you… you really don’t think that… do you?” Mac wanted to stop, he wanted to somehow take back those words, to take back those horrible things, but his mouth kept running without checking in with him again.

“Indeed! You are a stallion, stand up for yourself! Luna, I am so sorry, Caramel, but it's true! Do you know how many times I’ve had to watch you squirm around because you were just too shy to speak up? I’m sorry, Caramel, but it's true and as much as I am trying not to say anything I can’t stop! Make it stop!” Mac all but shrieked as he turned away from Caramel and started to sprint away from him. He didn’t dare look back at his friend, or, at least, the pony that was once his friend.

“Oh Celestia, he is going to hate me!” Mac said, none of his thoughts being able to stay within his head anymore, all of them being projected out of the gaping hole that had opened in his face. He needed to find a way out of Ponyville, to find somewhere to hide before he came across another pony he had thoughts about.

Rounding another corner, Mac sprinted down the new street, trying to recognize any landmarks that would tell him which was was the fastest way out of town. All the while his mouth just kept on chuntering as those deep buried thoughts came bubbling up to the surface and made themselves known to the world.

“How is it that that the mare to stallion ratio is so skewed here? For every stallion that resides here, it seems that there are ten mares! One could see how this might be a good thing, but such a staggering amount of mares here would make any stallion nervous beyond all comprehension to ask a single mare out!” Mac’s throat started to hurt. He had never talked for this long nor in such a manner in all of his life, yet he was compelled to keep talking, his voice not sounding the least bit strained as he spoke.

“Why is it that anypony wants to live here, anyway? Every week it seems that there is a disaster of some kind or yet another world ending event! I am grateful that at least there has not been any major collateral damage! Yet we all keep living here as though nothing is the least bit wrong with it. What madness is this!?” Mac just kept on sprinting. His legs were burning, joints aching, begging for him to stop, begging him to let them rest, but still it went on.

Still his mouth took aim at the remaining fragments of his reputation.

Ignoring the pain, and where it was starting to come from, Mac pushed onward as he kept on searching for a way out of town and back to the safety of home. Salvation soon came to him as he saw one of the bridges that led towards the farm. With renewed energy, he pushed his body even harder, the sound of his hooves clopping against the ground nearly drowning out his ranting mouth, but not enough for his liking.

“Just a few more seconds Macintosh and you shall be home, ready to crawl into the first hole you find and bury yourself in it! Oh, there is no way this day could get any worse!” The universe seemed to enjoy when ponies used those words, for no sooner had he uttered them did a prismatic pegasus come soaring out of the sky and land right in the middle of the wooden bridge, facing him head on.

Mac hit the brakes as hard as he could, but he had picked up too much speed. The pegasus on the bridge seemed to realize this as well, but far too late, for she had barely spread her wings when Mac’s large form clattered into her

Mac and the pegasus tumbled down the rest of the bridge and onto the dirt path. For a brief moment Mac’s mouth stopped working, mostly because it was filled with earth. He started to spit it away as the pony under him pushed themselves free of Mac’s mass.

“Yo! What’s your deal, Mac?” called a scratchy voice nearby. Mac felt as though his heart had stopped, ice piercing through his very core. The pony that he had crashed into had a rainbow mane, wings, and a voice that, much like her mane, he had never heard come from any other pony before. Opening one green eye, a new wave of fear and horror went through him as he recognized Rainbow Dash.

“Applejack told me to come and find you because Starlight Glimmer did something to you, and whatever she did needs to be fixed.” Rainbow had already taken to the air again, a place she so naturally belonged. “Ponies all over town said you’ve been acting strange, so what’s up? What did the pink moron do now?”

“You're the cutest filly I’ve ever met in my entire life!” Mac blurted out, his green eyes staring at Rainbow Dash, unable to stop himself.

The normally cool and collected pegasus stared right back at him, tilting her head to one side as she just looked at Mac, who was just starting to get up. “Wh… what?”

“When you tilt your head like that it makes my heart skip a beat! Even though you could run, fly and talk rings around me, I can’t help that the first word that comes to mind for you is ‘cute’!” Mac continued, praying to every celestial being he had ever heard of to strike him dead right there and then as his cursed mouth rambled on. “From the first time I met you, I thought you were the cutest, sexiest, and all around most incredible mare I had ever met! I have been wanting to ask you on a date for so long now, but I’m afraid I would not measure up to you and would have my heart broken!” Rainbow just kept on staring at Mac. Her wings had stopped working the moment the word ‘cute’ glanced off her ears, and she was just watching him, listening to what he had to say.

“There are so many ways you are just purely amazing, Miss Dash, that I can barely stand it at times! But I know I am nowhere near your league and would only hold such an awesome pony back in life!” He started to get to his hooves again, looking every which way for where to run to next. “I would very much appreciate to have your company for lunch one day, but after this outburst I doubt you ever want to speak to me again!” Mac hollered, when his eyes locked on a red building in the distance. “Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go curl up in a ball and die!” With those final words, Mac ran off like a speeding train towards home, towards the safety of the barn where he could not embarrass himself any further.

In his wake, he left a dazed Rainbow Dash still staring at the spot where Mac had been at previously, mouth gormlessly hanging open. “Wait… did he just call me cute?”

“How can this town still be standing after so many close calls? I mean, I still can’t believe that Princess Twilight made the entire town fall in love with Smarty Pants and how I still have that doll! If she ever finds out that I still have it, she will imprison me for sure! Oh, woe is me! Why did I not return it to her sooner? Yes, part of me wanted to give it back so I could strike a conversation with that cute mare, but once more, dear lad, you just do not have the guts! How dare you speak to Caramel in such a way!” Mac had taken shelter in the Apple Family Barn, sitting himself in the darkest and farthest corner away from the entrance, mumbling to himself in that prim and proper voice that sickened him to no end.

“I would rather live through that ordeal of Love Poisoning again than this! Oh, at least I had somepony to laugh about over it! Now I will be lucky if a mob does not come for me!” Mac moaned to himself, as he leaned against the wood, willing the sun to set. “I’d rather live the rest of my life as a dog than this! At least I would be unaware of all these horrors!” he lamented still, wishing that somepony would put him out of his misery.

“He’s right in here. Ain’t been able to stop talkin’ since ya messed with him!”

“I’m sorry! I know, I know. Don’t use magic to make ponies act how I want them to.” Mac’s ears perked up as he heard a pair of familiar voices, and he quickly got to his hooves as the door opened.

“Dearest sister, is that you? Have you brought the foul mare who has done this to me?” Mac felt his cheeks heat up as Applejack entered the barn, her head cocked to the side as she just stared at Mac. “Save the look, Applejack! I am already in quite a bout of depression as it is!” Mac shot, just wanting to slam his head into the ground to finally shut up.

“Please… fix him…” Applejack growled, pulling her hat over her face. “Ain’t right fer an Apple ta talk that way.” Starlight Glimmer just rolled her eyes as she made her way towards the large red stallion.

“Right, right. Look, Macintosh, I am very sorry for what I did,” she started, looking up at the big stallion. “Making friends is a lot harder than it seems and—”

“I do not care one bit!” Mac said, his anger evident in his voice. He would never want to cut off a mare, even if they were wrong, but this curse was forcing him to, and since she was the one who had brought it upon him she did deserve a bit of backlash. “I have been speaking like some royal ninny all day and have embarrassed myself more than once! I do not care what your intention might have been, just make. It. Stop!”

The pink unicorn blinked, slowly, but she then gave a deep sigh as her horn started to glow.

That strange aura that had entered him hours ago started to flow out of his mouth, causing Mac to cough and gag as it returned to Glimmer’s horn. The process did not take long, but Mac kept on coughing and gagging at the odd sensation till tears welled up in his eyes.

“Well, how do you feel?” Mac looked up to see Applejack staring at him. He wanted to tell her that it felt like he had just coughed up sandpaper, and that his mouth felt like had just traveled through the desert.

But he didn’t.

Looking between the two mares, Mac didn’t say a word. Not one sound escaped his clamped jaw. A big smile of relief came over him as the nightmare came to an end around him, and all at once he felt completely exhausted. He didn’t have the energy to keep standing anymore, and fell onto his side in the barn, eyes closed and a smile upon his lips.

“Whoa there!” Applejack called, coming to his side. “Yer alright there, Mac?” she asked, looking down at the stallion. Mac just simply nodded as he laid upon the dirt ground of the barn, having never felt so content in his life. Applejack just gave out a sigh of relief, before rounding on Starlight Glimmer. “Ya better pray he’s not a complete mute due to yer antics!” she growled, marching over to the unicorn. “When Twilight finds out about this, ohh….” Mac didn’t need to open his eyes to know that Glimmer was rolling her eyes at Applejack, just by how angry Applejack sounded.

“Yes. Yes. I am very scared, now let’s leave your brother be,” Glimmer said, and Mac could hear her hoofsteps leading away.

“Hey! Who said you could tell me what Ah can and cannot do!” Applejack shouted back, taking a hoofstep forward. Mac heard her stake a step, before he was sure she looked back at him. He raised one hoof up and waved it at her so she knew she could go. He was more than content to stay right there for the rest of the day and night. He heard Applejack sigh softly before pounding after Glimmer, slamming the barn door behind her.

After that, silence filled the barn. Complete and utter silence. Silence that Mac didn’t know he had missed till that motor mouth of his finally stalled. Giving a sigh of relief, he let his mind drift away into the land of slumber to let his weary body rest.

“Hey! Mac! Wake up! I need to talk to you!” Mac gave out a groan. It didn’t even feel like a minute had passed since he had shut his eyes, and there was already somepony trying to talk to him. He didn’t need any more talking; he had talked more than he had in the last three years combined! But he knew there was hell to pay for what had happened that day, and he slowly lifted his head up, eyes opening gradually.

The barn was dark now, the sun having fully set meaning he had been out much longer than he had originally thought. Mac had to blink several times to adjust his eyes to the darkness, though he did not have to much as the figure before him stuck out like a sore hoof in the gloom. Mac could only widen his eyes in surprise as he saw Rainbow Dash sitting in front of him, her rose eyes glowering at him.

He started to open his mouth to speak, but she was too fast for him and pressed her hoof to his mouth, silencing him.

“So… Glimmer put some kind of spell on you that made you talk non stop?” Dash asked, eyeing the stallion before her. Mac could only nod, fear washing over him at what Rainbow was about to do to him. “And everything you said was the truth?” Mac’s cheeks burned as he remembered spilling his guts to Rainbow Dash earlier, though the sheer embarrassment washing over him was an effective cold shower. Mac just nodded meekly at her. Rainbow Dash nodded right back at him, nodding slowly, chewing her lip as she thought.

“Miss Dash, Ah didn’t—”

“Lunch tomorrow. Hot Walk Cafe. Right at noon.” Rainbow Dash said, locking eyes with Mac. The stallion could only look back at her, his mind coming to a halt as he tried to process what was happening. “You said you wanted to go on a date with me, right? So here's your chance, big guy,” Rainbow said, grinning at him. “Any pony that can run as fast as you has to be kind of awesome,” she said shrugging. “So don’t screw it up,” she added, giving the stallion a wink that sent his heart skipping. He nodded furiously at the arrangement.

Rainbow Dash gave a nod of approval herself, as she turned away from Mac ready to take off. “Oh, and Mac,” she turned to face him, her eyes half lidded, looking more stunning than he could have remembered before.

“E- eeyup?” Mac didn’t see it coming. One second she was giving him a look that would melt steel, the next she seemed to have closed the distance between them in less than a heartbeat and slugged him in the stomach. He let out an oof of pain, before doubling over.

“If you ever call me cute so many times in public again, you will regret it,” she said, before leaning over and giving him a peck on the forehead. “See you tomorrow,” she chirped, before taking to the sky and making her exit through one of the open windows.

Mac just stayed like that for several moments, curled up in a ball and clutching his stomach. While making it up to Caramel, Carrot Top, and Tree Hugger would take some effort, at least he got a date out of this whole horrible ordeal.

Author's Note:

I hope you all enjoyed this story! Really, did you expect anything less from me? Of course I am going to throw in MacDash.

So once again Happy Birthday to Jake the Army Guy as he turns 69 years old.

Anyway thanks again to Arbarano, Docontra, The Masked Ferret , Chief Maximus, and Golden Vision for making this story possible.

Comments ( 86 )

Thanks for the story, brother. Loved how Mac kept talking in the fancy accent.

I thought at the end, Starlight chaged him back because of Applejack...

7181156
We know that Starlight changed him back, or at least CLAIMED to have done so. But do we actually know if she truly did or not? :pinkiecrazy:

This was a riot! Oh, and happy B-Day Jake!

I also just realized how ironic this story's name is because of the author's name.

Poor Mac:applecry: Still he he got a date out of the fiasco at least.:eeyup:

7181144

Wow! You are older than I thought.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I have been speaking like some royal ninny all day

For some reason, this was the best part. :D This was fun!

in public

Hint, hint Mac. :rainbowwild:

That was just plain hilarious. I didn't expect that kind of reaction from RD, though...

Wow... this actually makes that stupid scene make a lot more sense and quell my fandom rage. Now I need to let my friends know about it before saying eveyrhting I never should say and then blame it all on Starlight Glimmer.

7181536 Its kind of my thing to do that lol.

The title of this is "Make it Stop!" from the author Captain Unstoppable.

I find this hilarious for some reason.

I'm surprised SG didn't end up with a black eye or missing teeth... :pinkiehappy::pinkiecrazy:

In Caramel's case, I don't see how he could have taken much offense to what Mac said. It seemed to be more encouraging than any thing.

Big Mac calling Tree Hugger a dirty hippy? Amazing.

Would've been a great read with just the meta humor, but I loved the addition of some RainbowMac. Gave the story more of a purpose in a way.

Nice story. Reminds me of "If you ain't got anything nice to say" by ManlyDerp. I sure hope he gets around to finishing the story, eventually. I also hope it has a happy ending like this one.

Caramel is with Sassaflash remember?

No running into Cheerilee and screaming out loud how absolutely beautiful he finds her?

I dont know why but I read all of big macs lines in mario's voice

Wonderful concept. Great pacing. Hilarious situations. Fun. Great job. I think I'm adding this to my favorites.

The truth will set you free!

The Curse of Very Polite Motor Mouth. The horror.

Starlight Glimmer continues to defend her title as most petty villain ever.

*Applause*
this is just too much of a coincidence, but I swear it is the truth: I was about to write a similar story of the exact same name, same cover and same shipping yesterday...I am so glad I didn't. You did it far better!:twilightsmile:

Up-vote from me!

This, my friends, is why Big Mac is best pony. :eeyup:

Pretty solid, though I have to ask, Rainbow Dash, mainly just curiosu where that particular decision came from. Don't mean that in an insulting way, just curiosity.

i am disappointed he didn't talk about his crossdressing.

7182864 Just read my other words lol. MacDash is my OTP

Was cute.

Also pretty cuntish of Dash to slug him for something he couldn't control. Definitely not a good impression to make before a date either.

This concept is not new at all.

But I suppose people could always write another take on it.:twilightsheepish:

~Leonzilla

7183127 If it's not broke, don't fix it lol. Just a silly little one shot off the new episode

7183139 Right, :pinkiehappy:

Anyway, for anyone wishing to read another take on the concept that was made before the episode feel free to check this one out, it has plenty of pretty good stuff in it. :yay:

I'm rather surprised that "If you haven't got anything nice to say..." doesn't appear on the similar stories list for this story; but hopefully now that me and others have link the story in the comments enough people will check it out for it to appear in the also liked section.

~Leonzilla

PS:

Rounding another corner, Mac sprinted down the new street, trying to recognize any landmarks that would tell him which was was the fastest way out of town. All the while his mouth just kept on chuntering as those deep buried thoughts came bubbling up to the surface and made themselves known to the world.

pretty sure that "was" was made to be a "way" or "route".:derpytongue2:

Man that was amusing! Pretty funny story you came up with. I give you a thumbs up and a mustache! :moustache:



~ Super-Brony12

Your story just made me realise something. Ponyville is the Equestrian version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Sunnydale.

Need sequels to show the outcomes of his other encounters. Will Caramel stand up for himself? Will Carrot Top lower her prices? Will Tree Hugger actually give a pony a piece of her mind on being called a jobless hippie?

What does he have to make up to Caramel, exactly? He told him to grow a spine, simple as that. Not very tactfully, so he has that to apologize for, despite it having been beyond his control, but it really came down to one point.

"I like you, bro, but you need to man up sometimes."

Tree Hugger deserves an apology. So does Carrot Top perhaps.

Also, how strong is Rainbow Dash that she could make him double over in pain with one hit? Dang, girl. You work out.

One second she was giving him a look that would melt steel, the next she seemed to have closed the distance between them in less than a heartbeat and slugged him in the stomach.

Preach it brother. The only girl I ever loved had a left hook that could floor a bear.

7181156
Well, considering that Big Mac kept running everywhere, it's entirely possible Starlight had a heck of time catching up with him long enough to undo it. I mean, I can just picture it that after Big Mac's rampage and the ponies affected still reeling from the results, there goes Starlight, panting heavily as she tried to chase after him but always several paces behind. :rainbowlaugh:

The story's dialogue also implies that at some point she probably lost his trail, hence why Rainbow was looking for Big Mac originally.

This idea seems kinda familiar...didn't someone do something like this but with Poison Joke and Big Mac?

Heh, that was a cute little ditty. Much less soul crushing that what could have possibly happened, but still a fun read. Good job!

7184210
7183168
7182128
Hi! :pinkiesmile:

This is beautiful.

So weird, yet so in character!!!! I think we need to see a continuation of this with RD and Mac's date :)

It was a very good side story. I enjoyed it very much, unfortunately there isn't an emoticon to express how good warm and fuzzy your story was. I'm sad to report this was all I could find...

if only it was as entertaining as contemplating what could happen if Trump becomes president...

7184561 That was you? Oh...uh, hi!

So, did Caramel ever start standing up for himself? And MORE importantly... Did Tree Hugger stop being a filthy, rancid, disgusting, shiftless, good for nothing hippie?

:rainbowlaugh:

I guess someone else was wondering just where he ran off to after Glimglams made him speak in fancy.

Apparently gormless is a word.

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