I'm a Christian interested in music, animation, history, video games, and several other hobbies. I consider myself a story-teller in all that I do.
Spike learns that Rarity will never love him. Now the young dragon attempts to learn from his mistakes and move on, but that could be tough considering that he still has feelings for Rarity and is also developing feelings for somepony else. Even with friends to help him deal with his feelings, can Spike move on?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Ooh, I like where this is going...
For a first attempt at an MLP:FiM, this is really good. I'd offer some constructive criticism, but I can't find anything I think I could improve upon!
One thing I'll say about Rarity, and this is true of her in the show as well: if she's really Spike's friend, she should just come out and tell him face-to-face that she isn't interested in him instead of allowing him to continue giving her gifts with the hope that Twilight would eventually level with Spike for her like she did here. I know it's hard, but she owes him that much respect.
Sorry that I didn't get this out sooner. I finished this chapter yesterday, but couldn't figure out how to post this next chapter fully until today. Still new to this site. Hopefully you enjoy!
7195199
No worries!
->) BooM (<-
7195289
Umm....
What?
7195900
Good story, , ,Poor Butt Monkey.
Does Sweetie Belle appear in this story?
Water.
Two words Spike: Hakuna Matata
Didn't Spike once had a small crush on Moon Dancer?
7202124 So far, Sweetie Belle hasn't appeared in this story, and at the moment, I don't plan on putting Sweetie in the story.
That doesn't automatically mean that I won't put her in the story, but right now I can't think of a way that Sweetie Belle can help further this particular story.
7202806 Did he? It was never outright stated, although I supposed it was implied.
But even if Spike used to have a crush on Moondancer, he didn't seem to have a crush on her when he saw her again in Amending Fences. And that's just it, Spike had a small crush on Moondancer; he had much stronger feelings for Rarity, and tried to get with her for nearly three years in this story, and is only now attempting to move on. It's not really the same scenario.
7222265 In the actual show, I don't think Spike should have a crush on Starlight. In Friendship is Magic, romantic relationships pretty much never develop, which means there wouldn't be much purpose for Spike to develop a crush on Starlight, outside of maybe comedy.
But in Fan-fiction? You can develop that friendship between Spike and Starlight that was so well written in The Crystralling and add a romantic spin on it. So I do ship Spike and Starlight, but I don't think it would benefit the show.
Guess Spike forgot that Canterlot Boutique is one of many work places that Rarity sets up.
For a first timer, this is quite decent!
7223839 Yeah, that was the idea. Since Spike has never visited Rarity's Canterlot store and because he's trying not to think about Rarity, he's forgotten that she has a boutique in Canterlot.
Well I wonder how Starlight Glimmer will confront Spike with this?
More please. This story is really good!
I love Starlight X Spike stories.
Disclaimer: I'm aware that a bunch of you have probably seen this already and have your own opinions of it. This is honestly the first time I saw this story since reading Chapter 1 months ago, and frankly I havent seen it was updated recently. So understand that I'm seeing this for the first time, it's my opinion.
Honestly, that's on you Rarity. You pretty much tore his heart to pieces firstly, and then took the cowardly way out by letting him know about it from somepony else instead of directly telling him your position on his stalking you (yes, Spike's practically stalking you for all that time, no need to be cute). And now you want to get all huffy because Spike accidental slammed the door in your face, believing that he's still going for the chivary thing just after you told him you don't like him? It's a wonder that he didn't do worse...
Damn. Well this turned into a faceclaw and an half....Spike's trying to not think about Rarity, but apparently Karma really loved to kick his dragonballs in when she gets the chance..
And for real, Big Mac, Mr Cake, and surprisingly Starlight are giving him great advice on how he should move on from Rarity, so why is he not following it??!! Spike's swaying in a bad direction again, and it's too soon to think that just because Trixie and Starlight are good friends that it means another dagger in his heart/nail in his metaphorical coffin (YMMV)...
It's probably against the story in general, but I sincerely wish that Spike would just explode.
What I mean is that I just wished that he would just go off on everypony in the room and just say what he was thinking, especially about the Rarity and Starlight thing. Especially now since Starlight has pretty much trespassed in Spike's room. It's obvious that he's broken because of Rarity's rejection, and that has complicated things because of Trixie showing up.
And another thing, I apologize for this, but it's really starting to annoy me that it seems that everypony seems is all eggshells around Spike just because Rarity said no. Not to mention it's obvious that Spike's not old enough for those like Starlight who is obviously an adult (age in this chapter confirmed he's a teenager, I'm disappointed that he's made to be fourteen, personally I would like for him to be sixteem; fourteen just seems like he's never find someone or it's gonna be pidgeonholed to be one of the CMCs or somepony similar because of the age range). It probably makes me seem like an asshole, but I would like for someone to be an ass and say in Spike's face "You never had a fucking chance with Rarity in the first place, you creeped her out, and you're probably creeping out everypony else, so you should either find someone your own age leave everyone else alone." Then deal with the Greed Spikezilla thing later.
Now this looks interesting. A fic where Rarity isn't into Spike and the narrative doesn't demonize her for it! That's so rare.
Marely Quinn, huh?
I need to know what happens next!
Look forward to an update, if its coming
Not bad. Not bad at all!
Good job!
Spike wasn't doing that though.
That was quick, but since Starlight comforted him while he was heartbroken and emotionally vulnerable, I guess it makes sense.
Great first chapter overall.
Question: How old is Starlight then?