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Mr Bronius Maximus

Joined October 2011
1,939 followers

Why do I write? Because I can't draw! I write mainly as an outlet, and don't take it too seriously. If you like what I write, awesome! If not, that's cool too.

Stories (32)

Blog Posts (137)


My name's Rainbow Dash. I'm Equestria's fastest pegasus, I'm the Element of Loyalty, I've saved the whole kingdom more than once, I've laughed in the face of danger, and I'm a coward. That's right, I said it. I'm a coward. I've always been sure I could do anything. Win any race, beat any opponent, complete any job. But this is something I can't outrun, outsmart, or outlast. What's causing me—the most awesome pegasus ever—so much trouble? You wouldn't believe me if I told you.  

First Published
9th Aug 2012
Last Modified
30th Jul 2013

Comments ( 785 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

good story so far! quite interesting, keep up the good work!:pinkiehappy:

#2 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

my TwiDash senses are tingling.

Will definitely read.

EDIT: Me gusta.  Keep going.

#3 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

What's causing me, the most awesome pegasus ever so much trouble?

> See's 'Romance' tag

> See's Twilight Sparkle tagged as other character

Hmm, I wonder... :rainbowlaugh:

*adds to reading list*

-
#4 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

good start, will definately keep track of this one

#5 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

Alright, you have me interested. the first-person on Dash is pretty good - and rather bold, I tried it once and then decided against it - and the light comedy aspect is enjoyable as well. Especially the whole "A big fancy pants type, what was his name again?" "Fancy Pants"

Spelling error I noticed:

Her ears flattened like clouds against wind shear. - against a wind shear

RazedRainbow
Story Approver
#6 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

I'm loving Rainbow Dash's narration in this.

#7 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

Now THIS is humour. The AJ bit had me chuckling rather heartily (I don't want to give too much away in the comments by quoting). Looking forward to seeing where this goes, take a thumb and a track my friend.

#9 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

I'm certainly intrigued. You've got a good grasp of the characters, and the en medias res opening offered a great hook. Favorited, up-thumbed, and looking forward to more.

#10 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

Uhm... Quite interesting... And an idea just popped into my head.

They all get drunk (even Fluttershy) and it doesn't end well, because Rainbow says something that she shouldn't say in front of Twi's parents and the Princess herself. I wonder what anyway...

Meanwhile, in my mind...

BUTTSECKS! BUTTSECKS! BUTTSECKS! *snort* *snort* BUTTSECKS! BUTTSECKS! BUTTSECK! :pinkiecrazy:

Back to me...

No. Just... no.

#11 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

The sky is falling?

#12 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · 3 ·

Jerk!  You almost made me read a TwiDash ship!  If I hadn't taken Evasion as my 4th level feat, I wouldv'e been screwed.

#13 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

Holy Luna!

A first person RD fic thats GOOD?

#14 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

Hmmm, your Dash is pretty good and quite accurate. I like where this is going, so I will track it.

#15 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

This was so in-character for RD that I could practically hear her talking as I read.

#16 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

     So far I'm enjoying reading this, nice job!

#17 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1056762 Haha... What?! :rainbowlaugh:

Also great job on the story bud. Can't wait for the next chapter.

#18 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

Now then, Why isn't this in my favorites? Guess I'll have to fix this

You earn my usual awards for excellent storytelling, Moustache, Fave, and A thumbs up.

:moustache: You are a gentleman and a scholar.

#20 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

Writing first-person is never all that easy, so I'm glad you actually do it well when it comes to Rainbow Dash. A lot of other folks seem to think

"AWESOME radical RADICAL awesome" = :rainbowhuh:

And it's great that you only use her slang in excusable amounts.

#21 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

You've really nailed the characters. Twilight is adorable so far. More please.

#22 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1056426 Exact same here.

#23 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1057840 You mean she doesn't think like this?:pinkiegasp:

#24 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

Sweet baby Celestia! You good sir have actually managed to do something I thought impossible! You got Rainbow Dash's character down so well I'm instinctively reading this in her voice! And the fic is awesome as well.

This chapter gets 5/5 moustaches. :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

(Poor Spike, even Dash calls the poor guy hopeless...)

#25 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

this seems pretty interesting. Liked, tracked and faved.

#26 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

Just read the first chapter, and I'm pleasantly surprised. It's hard to pull off a good first-pony story, especially a shipfic, cause that means you have to develop character personalities and thought processes in much more detail, but you definitely pulled it off. The character narrating WAS Rainbow Dash, in terms of attitude, speaking, etc.

Not making any promises, but if this story keeps up the pace it might get a star. (To keep, not just tracking.)

#27 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

"we thought it would be just hilarious to try and put Mac's hoof in some warm water after he'd gone to bed. Long story short, we ended up nearly burning down the barn."

I want the long version XD

#28 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

Ok, I'm intrigued.

#29 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

I'm liking this. Well written and it's got some good humor going on. Can't wait to see the romance :3

Have a good one.

#30 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

I like how you portrayed Twilight Sparkle in this. She's so cutesy-wutsey! :raritywink:

AND WHY DO YOU EXIST 502 ERRORS? WHY DO YOU EXIST?

#31 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

Hmm, interesting start. So, this is a first-person past tense (for most part, I'm assuming) story told by Rainbow Dash? Definitely interesting! :pinkiehappy:

Well, you seemed to nail RD with her personality, and mannerisms towards those friends she was with in this chapter. And probably in other things, even if they haven't been shown as of yet in the show, if ever. Namely in regards to romance, though I'm curious to see how things go from this chapter to when she falls for Twilight. Have to wonder if it'll happen when she gets hammered at Fancy Pants' bar/club, depending on what all happens.

Hmm, not much else I can comment on probably, so I'll just end it here! Looking forward to more chapters of this! Faved, rather than tracking.

#32 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1057483

This. A thousand times this.

As has been stated, you have a good handle on the characters. The whole exchange with Twi at the end was PERFECT. I know I can get like that sometimes.

#33 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

Love it. Please make moar!

#34 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

my avatar says what i love, please keep going, they are my two favorites and fav shipping pair:twilightsmile::heart::rainbowkiss:

#35 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

Very persuasive first-person Dash.  :rainbowlaugh:   Duly starred for future reference.

#36 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

TwiDash sense. Me likey :twilightsmile:

So this is a first person TwiDash story? If yes, then my God I am never closing this tab xD.

Fav'd.

#37 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

hmm Interested...

#38 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

Loving this story already. Rainbow Dash makes a hilarious narrator, and seeing this labeled as TwiDash gets me hooked just like that :raritywink: You have yourself another follower!

#39 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

'More like my new romance novels came in, and I just bought new bedsheets.'

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[/img]

#40 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

:rainbowhuh: I dont know what to do!!!! I love this story but I dont like shipping!!!!! Why must you be such a talented writer?!?!

#41 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1059296 I'm keeping it lighthearted, there won't be any pony sex or anything.

#42 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

TwiDash fics I've read like three of them and one of them was good enough to get a fav this is number two for a fav

Oh yea nice work with the characters you make Twilight super Adorakble :twilightsmile:

And also nice job with first person RD like a lot of people said in comments people always think it should be like omg I'm so amazing omg this I'm so cool etc but anyway nice work:moustache:

#43 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Keep up the good work. :twilightsmile:

#44 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

Awesome! I can't wait for more. Tracked, faved, etcetera.

"Right, now that this comment is done being typed, I can get down to business." *refresh* "damn" *refresh* "damn" *refresh* "damn"

#45 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

I certainly like this story, it has a pretty great start and I would be keeping a eye on this story :rainbowdetermined2: for more chapters to come. Good Job..!

#46 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

I think it's so hilarious how some people get so attached to specific ships that they will like or unlike something immediately.  Why?  If the writing is good, read it, if it's not, stop reading it.  No shipping exists in canon, so deal with that.

Great story so far.  Best canon RD given the situation you've setup so far.  Deserves lots of likes.

#47 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1059917 Dat gif brings me great joy.

>>1060107 Glad you liked it! I try to make my fics stand out in some way, so I figured an interesting hook would pull readers in from the start.

>>1059591>>1058973>>1058090>>1058023>>1057941>>1057792>>1057717>>1057707>>1057298>>1057139 Thanks! I'm glad you are all enjoying it so far!

>>1057730 Why thank you, comrade.

>>1059220 This guy gets it.

>>1058446 This went through a few editors before being posted just to make sure I had RD and Twilight down. in future chaps, I may give Twilight a chance to narrate.

>>1058048 I honestly find first person narratives to be way easier than 3rd omniscient. Particularly how you can get inside that characters head and get a better feel for how and why they act the way they do.

>>1058021 Thanks! I'd like to think I'm pretty good at RD and Twilight. I'd say the hardest to do 1st person for would be Pinkie, but the others are fairly easy.

#48 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1060141 That was a ton of replies. :unsuresweetie:

#49 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

wow, I like it. very much! :)

#50 · Chapter 1 · 88w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1060187 I try to reply to all my commenters. I read all the comments, and just don't want people to think I'm ignoring them or anything. The fact that people care enough to comment is part of what keeps me writing!

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