good story so far! quite interesting, keep up the good work!

my TwiDash senses are tingling.

Will definitely read.

EDIT: Me gusta.  Keep going.

What's causing me, the most awesome pegasus ever so much trouble?

> See's 'Romance' tag

> See's Twilight Sparkle tagged as other character

Hmm, I wonder...

*adds to reading list*

good start, will definately keep track of this one

Alright, you have me interested. the first-person on Dash is pretty good - and rather bold, I tried it once and then decided against it - and the light comedy aspect is enjoyable as well. Especially the whole "A big fancy pants type, what was his name again?" "Fancy Pants"

Spelling error I noticed:

Her ears flattened like clouds against wind shear. - against a wind shear

I'm loving Rainbow Dash's narration in this.

Now THIS is humour. The AJ bit had me chuckling rather heartily (I don't want to give too much away in the comments by quoting). Looking forward to seeing where this goes, take a thumb and a track my friend.

The Sky Is Falling - Queens Of The Stone Age

I'm certainly intrigued. You've got a good grasp of the characters, and the en medias res opening offered a great hook. Favorited, up-thumbed, and looking forward to more.

Uhm... Quite interesting... And an idea just popped into my head.

They all get drunk (even Fluttershy) and it doesn't end well, because Rainbow says something that she shouldn't say in front of Twi's parents and the Princess herself. I wonder what anyway...

Meanwhile, in my mind...

BUTTSECKS! BUTTSECKS! BUTTSECKS! *snort* *snort* BUTTSECKS! BUTTSECKS! BUTTSECK!

Back to me...

No. Just... no.

The sky is falling?

Jerk!  You almost made me read a TwiDash ship!  If I hadn't taken Evasion as my 4th level feat, I wouldv'e been screwed.

Holy Luna!

A first person RD fic thats GOOD?

Hmmm, your Dash is pretty good and quite accurate. I like where this is going, so I will track it.

This was so in-character for RD that I could practically hear her talking as I read.

     So far I'm enjoying reading this, nice job!

>>10567621056762 Haha... What?!

Also great job on the story bud. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Now then, Why isn't this in my favorites? Guess I'll have to fix this

You earn my usual awards for excellent storytelling, Moustache, Fave, and A thumbs up.

You are a gentleman and a scholar.

I need more of this, it's so good!

Image: http://arch.413chan.net/MLP_-_Luna_-_You_Make_Luna_Happy-(n1297486947649).jpg

Writing first-person is never all that easy, so I'm glad you actually do it well when it comes to Rainbow Dash. A lot of other folks seem to think

"AWESOME radical RADICAL awesome" =

And it's great that you only use her slang in excusable amounts.

You've really nailed the characters. Twilight is adorable so far. More please.

>>10564261056426 Exact same here.

>>10578401057840 You mean she doesn't think like this?

Sweet baby Celestia! You good sir have actually managed to do something I thought impossible! You got Rainbow Dash's character down so well I'm instinctively reading this in her voice! And the fic is awesome as well.

This chapter gets 5/5 moustaches.

(Poor Spike, even Dash calls the poor guy hopeless...)

this seems pretty interesting. Liked, tracked and faved.

Just read the first chapter, and I'm pleasantly surprised. It's hard to pull off a good first-pony story, especially a shipfic, cause that means you have to develop character personalities and thought processes in much more detail, but you definitely pulled it off. The character narrating WAS Rainbow Dash, in terms of attitude, speaking, etc.

Not making any promises, but if this story keeps up the pace it might get a star. (To keep, not just tracking.)

"we thought it would be just hilarious to try and put Mac's hoof in some warm water after he'd gone to bed. Long story short, we ended up nearly burning down the barn."

I want the long version XD

Ok, I'm intrigued.

I'm liking this. Well written and it's got some good humor going on. Can't wait to see the romance :3

Have a good one.

I like how you portrayed Twilight Sparkle in this. She's so cutesy-wutsey!

AND WHY DO YOU EXIST 502 ERRORS? WHY DO YOU EXIST?

Hmm, interesting start. So, this is a first-person past tense (for most part, I'm assuming) story told by Rainbow Dash? Definitely interesting!

Well, you seemed to nail RD with her personality, and mannerisms towards those friends she was with in this chapter. And probably in other things, even if they haven't been shown as of yet in the show, if ever. Namely in regards to romance, though I'm curious to see how things go from this chapter to when she falls for Twilight. Have to wonder if it'll happen when she gets hammered at Fancy Pants' bar/club, depending on what all happens.

Hmm, not much else I can comment on probably, so I'll just end it here! Looking forward to more chapters of this! Faved, rather than tracking.

>>10574831057483

This. A thousand times this.

As has been stated, you have a good handle on the characters. The whole exchange with Twi at the end was PERFECT. I know I can get like that sometimes.

Love it. Please make moar!

my avatar says what i love, please keep going, they are my two favorites and fav shipping pair

Very persuasive first-person Dash.     Duly starred for future reference.

TwiDash sense. Me likey

So this is a first person TwiDash story? If yes, then my God I am never closing this tab xD.

Fav'd.

hmm Interested...

Loving this story already. Rainbow Dash makes a hilarious narrator, and seeing this labeled as TwiDash gets me hooked just like that You have yourself another follower!

'More like my new romance novels came in, and I just bought new bedsheets.'

Image: 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

I dont know what to do!!!! I love this story but I dont like shipping!!!!! Why must you be such a talented writer?!?!

>>10592961059296 I'm keeping it lighthearted, there won't be any pony sex or anything.

TwiDash fics I've read like three of them and one of them was good enough to get a fav this is number two for a fav

Oh yea nice work with the characters you make Twilight super Adorakble

And also nice job with first person RD like a lot of people said in comments people always think it should be like omg I'm so amazing omg this I'm so cool etc but anyway nice work

I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Keep up the good work.

Awesome! I can't wait for more. Tracked, faved, etcetera.

"Right, now that this comment is done being typed, I can get down to business." *refresh* "damn" *refresh* "damn" *refresh* "damn"

Image: http://i1174.photobucket.com/albums/r610/swagdad31/applause.gif

I certainly like this story, it has a pretty great start and I would be keeping a eye on this story for more chapters to come. Good Job..!

I think it's so hilarious how some people get so attached to specific ships that they will like or unlike something immediately.  Why?  If the writing is good, read it, if it's not, stop reading it.  No shipping exists in canon, so deal with that.

Great story so far.  Best canon RD given the situation you've setup so far.  Deserves lots of likes.

>>10599171059917 Dat gif brings me great joy.

>>10601071060107 Glad you liked it! I try to make my fics stand out in some way, so I figured an interesting hook would pull readers in from the start.

>>10595911059591>>10589731058973>>10580901058090>>10580231058023>>10579411057941>>10577921057792>>10577171057717>>10577071057707>>10572981057298>>10571391057139 Thanks! I'm glad you are all enjoying it so far!

>>10577301057730 Why thank you, comrade.

>>10592201059220 This guy gets it.

>>10584461058446 This went through a few editors before being posted just to make sure I had RD and Twilight down. in future chaps, I may give Twilight a chance to narrate.

>>10580481058048 I honestly find first person narratives to be way easier than 3rd omniscient. Particularly how you can get inside that characters head and get a better feel for how and why they act the way they do.

>>10580211058021 Thanks! I'd like to think I'm pretty good at RD and Twilight. I'd say the hardest to do 1st person for would be Pinkie, but the others are fairly easy.

>>10601411060141 That was a ton of replies.

wow, I like it. very much! :)

>>10601871060187 I try to reply to all my commenters. I read all the comments, and just don't want people to think I'm ignoring them or anything. The fact that people care enough to comment is part of what keeps me writing!

>>10604041060404 You sir deserve an award for being in touch with your readers even with your rising popularity. Since I can't provide a formal medal I give you the best I can. A moustache . Well done.

rainbow seems a little bitchy to me

I give you the 'Best Fanfic of the Night-before-I-go-to-Sleep Award!'

It, obviously. doesn't mean much to anyone, but it's my way of saying great story, friend.

Keep it up.

Now that is EXACTLY how she'd write. If she is decent at writing, that is. Either way, it's perfect. I loved the adjectives and just generally how she described things. It was so... Rainbow Dash! It's an interesting story as well, and you certainly nailed Twilight, among others.

I agree with everything PonyPage1013, the reviewer two before me, has written completely, also I really like the way you describe the scenes and I look forward to any and all updates.

okay...     awesome

Very well written! love the concept. keep up the awesome work

Loving the first person.  I can see some interesting places where this may go.

Not sure if good...

Image: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/131/399/fry.PNG?1307468855

Or amazing...

Totally in character so far. I judge fics in part by whether I can hear the characters speaking the lines as I read them. If I can't, then it means a story has broken my sense of immersion by having the characters do or say things I wouldn't associate with them, or in a way that seems jarring. Luckily for you, you've got TS and RD nailed!

My sexy time senses are tingling...

Would you two just get it on already?!

I generally don't like twidash shipping, but this is looking like it's going to be a fantastic story so I'll make an exception. Great work!

MOOOOAAAAAAARRRRR!

By the way, Twidash is awesome, so, as I was saying, keep writing. NOW!

I know how you feel, Twilight. I hate drinking too.

Oh man, this is gonna be good!!

Awesome even!

The narration is in character is full of lols!

Finally, the opening made me wanna know what's happening!  

Faved and Tracked!!

>>10574831057483

>>10585811058581

Same here, same here.

And I absolutely adore it when in any fic Spike states something starting with "Come on, Twilight." or "I don't know, Twilight.". Why? Because I simply HEAR it. Literally, as in my mind replays the recording from the show as opposed to emulating the voice.

Oh, and:

She stamped her hooves nervously, making that “I don't wanna” face I'd expect from one of the Cake twins.

you have my attention...

I shall wait patiently... By listening to depressing music to sad fics...

God, I need to start writing again...

Either way, another successful story by one of my favorite writers! You deserve my moustache.

More? ok.

MORE!? FINE.

*Sees new story.*

Me: "Oh, cool."

*Sees it's by Bronius Maximus.*

Me:  "MUST READ"

tell tell tell tell tell

show stuff boi

I like this so far you have really got the characters personalities pegged.

>>10647631064763 Cite some examples or suggestions for improvement brah. I ran this through ponychan twice already and didn't have that problem. Plus it's somewhat difficult to get descriptive when you have to use Rainbow's limited vocabulary.

>>10567621056762 Where is my SANDVICH. and my POOTISpenser. and my ALL OTHER TF2 MEMES.

This is so awesome, good job :D!  You have the characters' personalities down quite well :).  Continue :)?

I avoided this story fer a whole day, because of what I thought it was. Turns out I was right.

>>10658751065875 Romance is tagged, what did think it was other than that?

>>10659531065953 I saw it in the feature bar, ain't no tags there. Feel the power of the COG!

>>10660601066060 ...Right.

Image: http://cdn0.hark.com/images/000/001/831/1831/original.jpg

I have never seen a first person story from the point of view of a main character done well... until this.

This reads just like it was told by the prismatic wonder herself

This is a lot of fun so far, definitely looking forward to more.

Just when I thought I was getting over my twidash obsession... You magnificent bastard...

When my TwiDash senses go off, there's no stopping them. I'll be following this to the end for sure!

Keep this going! First story i've read on this site since it launched, really like it :3 you nailed the way the characters talk and I found myself reading in their voices throughout! MORE! :D

Twidash...

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Wonderful job with RD's narration!

good so far

The description is what sparked my interest, in my opinion Rainbow is best pony and it drew me in.

I must commend you on being very near if not spot on Rainbow's attitude and speaking.

I am not a big fan of shipping, but this has potential to be a really good story, now all I have to do is wait for the rest of this story, because that cant be all of it......this story has me interested.

Well..you abused my addiction to anyponydash. As previously stated ALOT, you captured Rainbows character perfectly. Tracking and a thumbs up for you good sir! Oh, also love your writing of Rainbows narration of twilights body language, BEAUTIFUL!

Very well done can't wait for the next chapter looking forward to it.

Tell me that you're going to keep going!  I usually don't like dashie, but you, my friend, have made it work!  

Huh. Nothing special going on. Everything is fine, but for a little trouble in paradise. But pretty well written, and first person Dash! Tracking.

"How could you do that to me, Rainbow?!" Twilight shouted. She was on the verge of tears, and I didn't feel much better.

"In front of the princesses, in front of my parents, in front of everypony?"

You shouldn't break dialogue like this if it's all from one speaker.

You had to be firm with Twilight, or she’d just whine her way out of it.

This may just be me, but "whine" isn't a verb I'd associate with Twilight, even from Dash's PoV. Rarity, yes, but not necessarily Twilight.

Heh I sense an awkward awakening in the morning

This is fookin adorable

D'Aww!  I'm liking the 1st person POV, only because you can pull it off well.

Next chapter's going to be "WHY'D YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME, RAINBOW?!",  "I don't remember anything that happened last night" or "this isn't what it looks like"

Bravo! I especially like  your choice of first person - I don't think you could have pulled that style without it. Mind if I use this as an example of narration in first person vs narration in third person in a guide I'm writing?

Well, next chapter will be a interesting "WTF DID WE DO?!" In the morning.

"Okie Dokie Lokie!" In a puff of flour and confetti, she was gone.

Like a...like a...like a...

Ninja!

Coby! Don't ever say that word again!

Image: http://s3.amazonaws.com/bronibooru/6235765457cdf2c2af9b6a38310edafc.jpg