Paper Secrets
Paper Secrets
I will never drink again. I'll never let Rainbow Dash talk me into drinking! I will never let another hint of ethanol across these lips!
I couldn't remember a single thing past our arrival at the opening. My head felt like a thousand wailing cats had taken up residence between my ears. I rubbed my eyes and rolled over. That's when I noticed a blue wing staring me in the face. It startled me at first, but I breathed a sigh of relief, realizing it was only Rainbow. Then I felt anxiety rise in my chest. Why in Celestia's name was Rainbow Dash in my bed?
The most simple solution was obvious, but I wasn't ready to consider Occam's razor just yet. There had to be a logical, perfectly reasonable explanation as to how she ended up next to me. That explanation would have to wait, however, as my mouth tasted as though I had chewed on a rusty nail all night. I rolled unceremoniously out of bed and made my way toward my bathroom, filling a glass with tap water and greedily sucking it down. I had learned in my studies of anatomy that a hangover is caused primarily by dehydration. The more water you drank, the better you'd feel.
Rainbow was still asleep, though I had expected as much. She was a professional sleeper if ever there was one. The smell of Spike downstairs making breakfast floated upwards. I heard Rainbow stirring, but I figured she'd come down when she was ready. I arrived downstairs to a tall stack of pancakes waiting on the table as Spike snacked on a few gems on the couch.
"Comic books again, Spike?" I asked, already feeling somewhat better.
He glanced up at me. "Have fun last night?"
I laughed. "I wish I could remember." I grabbed a few pancakes and sat at the table.
"Your tea is on the counter." Sweet Celestia, I love Spike.
After a headache-reducing breakfast, I trotted back upstairs to check on Rainbow. No reason to let her half of the pancakes get cold, right?
As I entered my bedroom, I noticed she was awake, laying sideways on my bed while flipping through a magazine.
I didn't think I'd had any reading materials at my bedside as I took a few steps toward her.
Then I realized where she'd gotten those.
I. Was. Mortified.
"Rainbow, what are you reading?"
She glanced at me with a crooked smile before lifting the magazine cover, revealing a mare in a... compromising position. "I never took you to be into mares, Twilight."
I snatched the magazine away from her. Thank goodness for magic. "I'm not! It's just for research purposes!"
"Then why were the pages stuck together?"
I didn't have to explain myself to her. Just what was she thinking, rifling through my things?
"I'll thank you not go through my stuff, Rainbow! Does the word 'privacy' mean anything to you?" I snapped.
"If you wanted to keep them a secret you should've hidden 'em better. I mean, under the bed? What are you, in middle school?"
"That's enough! First you get me drunk, then you sleep over uninvited—"
"Hold on a second!" Rainbow interrupted, hovering off the bed and fluttering towards me. "You invited me to stay here with you, and on top of that, you puked on me last night!"
My ears fell. It hadn't occurred to me that she might have remembered the details of the night before. "I... I did?"
"Yeah, and on some poor sap's house, too!"
The guilt was unbearable. I had made a complete flank of myself in front of who knows how many ponies! What else had I done? Who else had I expelled bodily fluids onto? I never wanted to show my face in Ponyville again.
"Oh Celestia, you can't tell anypony! If the princess finds out, she'll banish me to—"
"Twilight, relax. I'm the only one that knows, and I won't tell anypony. I promise." Rainbow landed softly in front of me. "So, what's for breakfast?"
Rainbow was first to the kitchen table as I poured myself another cup of tea. Sweet black tea always soothes a headache, regardless of cause.
"So Rainbow," Spike asked, "what did you and the rest of the girls get into last night?" Darn him, I knew he wouldn't leave this alone.
Rainbow smiled before shoveling more pancakes into her mouth. "Well, firsht we drank, then we danshed. Twilight's not bad when she looshens up a bit."
It's a good thing Rainbow didn't stay the night all the time, or she'd eat everything in my pantry!
"And then on the way back here, she totally pu—"
"I think that's enough talking from Rainbow! Spike, let her finish her breakfast in peace!" I glared at Rainbow. Mercifully, she just chuckled and continued eating.
Spike shrugged and headed into the kitchen to start cleaning up. After breakfast, Rainbow decided it was about time for her to leave. Who knows what else she had on her schedule! If it kept her from talking about whatever other embarrassing things I'd done the night before, then so much the better.
"So, what are you planning on doing for the rest of your day off?" I asked.
"I dunno... probably go see what AJ is up to. Maybe play some pranks with Pinkie." I walked her to the door as we stopped on the porch. "I don't schedule my every waking minute. You should try it sometime." She gave me a sly grin. I'm sure napping is quite time consuming, but those of us with things to do don't have such a luxury.
"Right, I'll do that as soon as you spend an entire day without napping."
"Hey, that's not my fault!" she shot back defensively. "Pegasi have, uhm... fast metabolisms or whatever and we need to eat and sleep!" I chuckled. Rainbow very rarely won an argument with me.
"Then why doesn't Fluttershy sleep all day?" Her eyes narrowed. Sometimes it was too easy.
"You're the book princess, you tell me."
How... how did she...
That darn sly smile of hers came right back as she flew away. "See ya, Twilight!" she called happily. Looks like she actually had managed to get one over on me. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how she knew about my fillyhood dream. Maybe Rainbow was a bit more clever than I thought.
Twilight acted just like I thought she would. Sure, she had a headache now, but I knew she had fun last night. It'd probably be another month before I got her back out again, though. Anyway, Applejack was probably working her life away in her orchard, so I thought I'd stop by and sneak a few apples.
I spotted her from a mile away, as usual. Hard to hide in a sea of green with a coat like that. I swooped down into the tree in front of her, settling onto one of the sturdier branches.
"Well if it ain't my favorite apple thief," she said, stopping in front of my tree. I plucked an apple from above me and took a bite. AJ usually didn't mind if I ate one, but any more than that and she'd start flinging apples at me with that freaky tail of hers. "Twilight make it back alright?"
"Yeah, not without puking on me, though." I still couldn't believe she'd done that.
AJ chuckled. "Is that right?"
"Laugh it up while you can," I shot back. "You're babysitting her next time,"
"And just how did you not notice her fixin' to hurl?"
"I couldn't see her, I was flying her home."
Applejack raised an eyebrow. For a bumpkin, she was pretty sharp. "Flyin' her home, huh? You sleep with her?"
I couldn't believe she just asked that! Being as close as we were, Applejack and I knew each other's secrets, but for her to assume I'd take advantage of Twilight was plain wrong!
"No, I didn't sleep with her!"
AJ looked confused as I leapt from the tree and squared off with her. "Uh, Ah asked if you slept over with her. You got wax in your ears?"
Wow, that was one heck of a mix-up. I was about as red as the apple I'd just finished eating, and really wanted to change the subject. AJ had other plans.
"Aw, what's the matter, Sugarcube? Ah think you and Twi'd look cute together," she teased, poking me in the chest with her hoof.
"Shut up!" I snapped, turning away from her. I glanced back over my shoulder and scoffed. "C'mon, me and Twilight? What in Equestria would I have in common with her?"
"You ain't got ta have nothin' in common. Ain't you ever heard of opposites attractin'?"
"We aren't magnets, we're ponies. And how do you know Twilight even swings that way?"
AJ smiled smugly. "Ha! So you do like Twilight?"
For a country pony who got easily confused by her own brother's limited math skills, she sure was good at twisting words around.
"No! Gah, this is why I hate arguing with you!"
"Because Ah win?"
"No!" Sometimes it wasn't worth the headache. "Just forget about it, okay?"
"If you say so." She shrugged. Even though she told me she'd let it go, I had a feeling she'd keep this conversation under her hat.
"So what are you up to on your day off?" she asked. Geez, does everypony I know plan out every second of their day?
"I dunno. Maybe practice my stunts, I guess. What are you and Big up to?"
Applejack started down the trail as I hovered after her. "Same as always. Keepin' the farm up to snuff."
I sighed. "Well, have fun with that."
Following Applejack around all day would be about as exciting as watching Twilight read, so I bailed.
Sometimes, it sucks being the most awesome of all your friends. I figured I could hang out with Pinkie, but half the trouble of hanging out with her is finding her. Nopony is ever sure of her exact location at any one time. Twi tried to explain this to me once, but it was all a bunch of big words and weird concepts. How can something exist and not exist at the same time? No wonder she was so high strung. I would be too if I spent all my time thinking about... I dunno, brain teasers for eggheads.
I tried to think of something fun to do as I glided along. It wasn't quite nap time, and I was still full from breakfast at Twilight's. Those were two of my everyday activities crossed off the list right there.
On my way back into town, I realized I was near Fluttershy's place. I figured she might be able to use some help with a stubborn chicken or something, so I circled to land.
The more I think about it, the more weird I think it is for Fluttershy to prefer the ground. I mean, she's a pegasus! The proud owners of all the blue and white above ordinary ponies' heads! But she'd rather live like a ground-pounder. Sometimes I think her wings could fall off tomorrow and she wouldn't even notice.
Anyway, the birds where chirping and the squirrels were doing... whatever it is they do all day. I knocked, only to have that rabbit of hers answer the door. Something about him just rubbed me the wrong way. Fluttershy called from the upstairs, asking Angel who it was, as if he was gonna answer back.
"It's me Fluttershy!" I replied, earning a glare from him.
She hovered down from her loft, a feather duster clutched in her mouth as I stepped inside.
"Oh, hello Rainbow," she said, spitting out the duster and sending a cloud of dull yellow particles into the air. "What's got you up so early?"
"Nothin', just left Twilight's place. I stayed with her to make sure she was okay until morning," I said pridefully. It was at least half the truth!
"That's sweet of you, Rainbow. Was she okay?"
I stretched my legs out and plopped down on her couch. Being hoof-carved and made of logs, it didn't look very comfortable, but Fluttershy had one of the best sleeping couches this side of Equestria. "Yeah, she was fine. She partied a little too hard, though."
"She's lucky to have such a good friend," she mumbled, watering her houseplants.
"Yeah, I'm pretty amazing," I yawned, stretching out on that couch, I figured I'd finally found something to do.
As I was just about to drift off, a spark of green fire exploded in front of me and Fluttershy. It practically scared Flutters out of her coat, but I wasn't scared.
An envelope fell on my belly and next to Fluttershy as I sat up. It had all the fancy royal stuff on it: raised seal, thicker-than-usual-paper, fancy lettering, the works. I opened mine first. Fluttershy was still making her way off the ceiling by the time I'd read it. It was our Gala tickets! I completely spaced on when it was planned this year! It was coming up soon, and I knew I'd need a super cool dress to impress the Wonderbolts this time. Sure, it meant being Rarity's dress-up doll for way too long, but the payoff was usually worth it. I mean, last Gala, Soarin totally invited me to the V.I.P. section to talk with Spitfire! Spitfire!
This was the evening I'd impress the Wonderbolts into an unconditional offer of Wonderbolt-ship.
Attached to the ticket was a note from the princess. It said each of us were invited to bring a friend, relative, or significant other as a plus one! She did this every year, and I never had a reason to use my plus one. My friends always went, and my parents lived too far away. I don't think I have to tell you I've never used the third category.
I noticed Fluttershy opening her letter, and couldn't pass up the chance to tease her a bit. "So Flutters, who's your plus one?"
She turned as red as the stallion on her mind. "Oh! Uhm... I don't know..."
"Really? Does his name rhyme with Big Macintosh?"
Even more red! Gosh, I could make a game out of this!
"Well... uhm... he's nice and all, but I..."
I reclined back on the couch, "C'mon, you two would look cute together! You could sit around all day and just look at each other in silence! Doesn't that sound fun?"
"Actually, I already had somepony in mind, and it's not Big Macintosh. Not that I don't like him or anything..."
I sat up slowly from my back. When did she have time to meet somepony outside of Ponyville? Unless... Oh no!
"Oh. Hey, listen, I like you and everything, Fluttershy, but you're my oldest friend! I would never forgive myself if something came between us and we broke up," I whispered hovering over to her and putting a hoof around her shoulder in support. I bet she was just dying of embarrassment. Sometimes, it's tough being this cute.
I was right. I didn't think the color of the setting sun could look so sad on somepony's face, but by Celestia it sure did.
"Oh dear..." Fluttershy whispered, covering her face with her hoof.
"It's okay! We'll still be friends! That's more important to me than anything!"
She lifted her head out of her hooves to speak. "It's not that. I wasn't talking about taking you."
"Listen, I know where this is—Wait. What do you mean you weren't 'talking about me'?" Who else could she have possibly been talking about?
"The pony I want to take as my plus one. It's not you... I mean, you can still go and meet us there, and I'm sure we'll have a good ti—"
"Whoa, whoa, back up. If it isn't me, then who is it?" I tapped my hoof on the hardwood floor impatiently.
"Well, you probably wouldn't believe me if I told you..."
"What? Is it a princess or something? 'Cause if you managed to wrangle Princess Luna—"
A knock at the door interrupted me. Fluttershy hovered over to answer it. After checking the peep-hole, she opened the door and in walked her beau.
You ever experience a moment that tells you the universe is too busy showering all your friends with awesome stuff to even give you a slight break? This was one of those moments.
"Rainbow, this is the pony I'll be taking to the Gala," she said coyly, like I didn't know who was standing in front of me.
"Hey, Rainbow! I didn't know you and Fluttershy were friends!" the stallion with dark blue hair and piercing green eyes said, throwing his hoof casually over my friend's withers.
"H-hi Soarin."
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I said it before, and I'm gonna say it again. Fluttershy + Soarin = Win
Thats a new pairing. To me, anyway.
And I thought I had seen everything...
Also, way to go Fluttershy.
Looking forward to more of this story.
New chapter *Sqweee*
Sounds like a Schrödinger's Pinkie, only less morbid.
Oh right, and the unexpected new pairing. What do we call this one, SoarinShy?
Fluttershy and Soarin?
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/24880392.jpg
Oh man Soarin.
i love this fic so much.
Soarin'?!
Le-
interesting. can't wait for the next chapter~
To borrow a line from future canon, "I wasn't prepared for this."
Well played. I must see this through to the end.
1282487
I'm pretty sure that Pinkie is the embodiment of quantum physics.
1282692 More like Looney Tunes physics...
I rather like how you don't concentrate on only Dash's arrogance, but you capture her general demeanor quite well.
WHOOOOOAAA! Fluttershy+Sorin ?! weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/full-of-win.jpg
wat
How? How can this story just keep getting better?
I dont think Flutter shy and Soarin match.
1282701
Touche. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia2.png
oh... FUCKING WOW! I never saw that one coming!
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5739-tumblr_m4wmpyw2YX1rr81eho1_250.gif
Hahahhaa! Fluttershy is so winning!! I want to see Fluttershy in a wonberbolt costume, flying with them and Rainbow just being super jealous! That would be awesome.
CALL 911 RAINBOW DASH JUST HAD HER CONCEPT OF REALITY BROKEN!
A + Z? 2 + Down? Mash R?
No.
Don't Rainbow (or Twilight) question her relationship with the other for Spitfire.
IT WOULD BE [sarcasm]SUCH A SHOCKER.[/sarcasm]
1282865
Aww...I was just about to post that gif myselfdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Sweetie_Belle.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Scootaloo.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Applebloom.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Twilight_Sparkle.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Fluttershy.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Applejack.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Pinkie_Pie.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Rarity.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Rainbow_Dash.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Derpy_Hooves.png
Dat. Twist.
You sir, won a small internet today. Cherish it. Love it. Make sure to spay and neuter it. Don't spend it all in one place.
(In case you couldn't tell, that one amused me. I was honestly expecting Luna, nice job though).
What's this? A new ship! Let's see: Flutterin? Eh. SoarShy? Could work. FlutterSoar? Ew, sounds like something that needs a cream to cure. Screw it, I've never been good with portmanteau words.
Rainbow's gonna be filled with enough jelly to make dozens of donuts.
Between the Rainbow/Twilight and Rainbow/Applejack arguments, this chapter had me grinning like a lunatic. I don't know why. It just did.
Everyone but Dash:
iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/and_not_a_single_fuck____1_by_mezkalito4p-d4cuqpw.gif?1320514646
Okay, I love you and all, but we do NOT ship Fluttershy with celebrities. Just no.
Ps. "It's the power of love. Love makes people do stupid tings."
"I love everything..."
"that explains a lot."
1283092 Best I've got is SoarinShy.
Lovin all the interesting shipping.
You sir, are a genius!
This may be the first first-person narrative fanfic I have ever actually liked! I mean, the narrations of the characters are so well done, so characteristic of Rainbow and Twi, it's outright surprising, and the whole spiel is a fun read with well developed character interaction...
Damn, B.M. your good at what you do. New chapter please?
That was great, looking forward to the next chapter.
Cool, can see why it got featured and really like the transitions and POVs
Ooooohhhh shheeeeiiiitttt!
Cannot wait for the next chapter!
I approve of this chapter and the SoarinShy ship. Do continue the excellence, please!
1282999dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rarity_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rainbow_Dash_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applejack_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Fluttershy_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png
OHH FACED!
I know that feel Dashie.
Whole chapter was just pure epicness, keep it up!
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Fluttershy_lolface.png
RainbowFire? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire.png
Hmm, Fluttershy + Soarin.
ShyRin!
Have a favorite, it's not like you're short on those
Fluttershy and Soarin? I´ll call this shop Soshy.
You know for a horrible second i thought the pony Shy would ask out/want to go with would be Twilight, then i remembered that she had a ticket already and then i´ve read about Soarin. Love triangle avoided.
Also Twi. Never heard of tissues?
...Expect you had the focus of RD going happily over meeting Spitfire again, just so that Spitfore would become RD´s competion to win over Twi´s heart. After all she´s a great flyer too, looks hawt and is a celebrity, plus RD idolizes her, she would be more than a tough competion especially if she got the guts and confidence to hit on Twi directly as i believe Twi would be quite bad with open/honest flirting.
Yeah, that really would be a shocker for both RD/Twi and the rest of their friends too. o_o
fluttershy + soarin' ?
What the hell? xD
Well... Looks promising, keep it coming!
LOL!
1282692
It is possible to pin down Pinkie's exact location, actually, but then you won't know how fast she's going.
1284508
Or we could know how fast she is going but not where she is. Really makes you pity the rest of the mane 6 they have to deal with it every day.
Soarin with somepony from Mane 6 other than Twilight and AJ? That's new.
Great chapter. The SoarinShy reveal at the end was wonderful.
Gotta admit, this is the main reason I'm not terribly fond of the FlutterMac ship, it's just so adorably boring.
Finally a new chapter! Yay!