Squeee

yay, comment. I am happy with the squeee, but I don't suppose you care to elaborate.  

Although I shall withhold my "squeee" for now, I will give this a tentative "Woo-hoo."

Number 12/Traveler was the first MLP fanfic I ever read. Quite frankly, I can't think of a better introduction to the community, and still eagerly await Squeak's eventual conclusion of it. A sequel to it, even written by another author, is quite a welcome sight in my book.

Your characterization of the Doctor is done fairly well thus far; quirky and odd, just the way the Doctor should be.  And sending him off on a quest to understand the impossibility that is Pinkie Pie may very well drive him even closer to the edge of insanity, something I'm very much looking forward to.

However, there are a few things that bug me slightly about your story. First off, your capitalization seems quite arbitrary; words in the middle of sentences are just randomly capitalized. Perhaps you've got some pattern, however. If so, the please continue.

Second, this doesn't quite feel like a real Doctor Who story, due to its seeming lack of consequences. No imminent danger, no mysterious enemy lurking over the horizon, no fanatical organization attempting to tear the universe apart (Although that last one might be a bit overboard for a MLP crossover). Then again, this is only the second chapter; maybe you've got the Master or Valeyard showing up in the next update.

Finally, and most concerning, is this an official sequel to Traveler, or just a spin-off? Do Twilight and the Doctor really just return from the future, seemingly unchanged, with everything resolved? No lingering lusts for power, no life-changing revelations? After everything that happened, merely returning to the status-quo feels... empty almost. If this is canonical, then I'm going to be somewhat disappointed. Not unhappy, just slightly unfulfilled. But, if it's just your version of what might happen, then I can resume my blissful ignorance of what will happen to our favorite displaced Time Lord and studious Unicorn.

In any case, this does seem like it'll be quite the entertaining read. Keep it up; I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter!

>>4121941219 In order:

My Capitalization style is meant to show what words are emphasized by the speaker, intending to show rises and falls in their speech patterns. I may water that down in the future, but that was the intent.

On the second concern... wait *re-reads*.....

....

*Maniacal Laughter*

*ahem* sorry, sorry...

There are times when the multi-verse gives even the Doctor catches a break, particularly when he's in a whole new situation where ALL of the rules have changed. A break where he is allowed to connect with his inner stallion and start discovering who he is this time around.

Even if it is only for a day.

Pinkie Conundrum is the first in eight planned episodes of the Doctor Whooves series, with possibly more depending on reception. To further address this, I ask only that you please await the epilogue of this episode, which should be up before the weekend is out. Promise you won't regret it.

Also, I am a bit cocnered at your thoughts that things are unchanged.

The Doctor is the ever stoic doctor, moving on to what's next.

Twilight is obviously still scarred from what she experienced, as scenes between her and Celestia show.

And as far as the rest of Equestria, it hasn't happened to them yet and If Twilight get's her way, it never will.

This is less an 'official' sequel and more a branching off. As Squeak has commented, his time has been monopolized by multiple projects (including Caramel Light, which I adore) and he has fallen behind. The Doctor Whooves Series by me is not intended to 'take over' from him, but work as a sort of 'branched off' and seperatecontinuity. A sapling cut off the parent tree if you will. Unless Squeak himself posts in these comments that he is relinquishing the storyline to me (I rather doubt it) then assume that only Squeak-Anon's fics are 'Number 12' Canon and mine are meant to be a diversion to entertain and give doses of Doctor Whooves for everybody else's enjoyment.

I believe River Song said it best:

"You Might want to find something... to hang Onto."

Wow....that explanation about the doctors past and why he does what he does s so good the should use it in the show

I still need to read the next chapter, but one thought has crossed my mind with this one:

Is Pinkie related to Idris, by any chance?

*heads onward to read the next chapter*

>>4137941379 Again, in order:

Huh, interesting writing style then. I've never seen anyone else use capitalization that way; well done.

"Every day in a million days, when the wind stands fair and the Doctor comes to call," eh? Alright, I can go with that.

As for my third complaint... yeah, go ahead and scratch that from the record. My apologies; I had failed to notice that the second chapter had been uploaded, and naturally had missed Twilight's meeting with Celestia. And although I would argue that the Doctor isn't as stoic as you make him out to be, the scene in the Memory Room has proven that you're not ignoring his darker side either. Again, my apologies; you clearly know what you're doing.

And as for the promise of more adventures, well, I'll give that a heartfelt "yay." Looking forward to it.

Oh this is VERY interesting!

Keep going with this. I can't wait for more!

                                             -Fin

"It made him wonder who the Companion here was."  <----

So much funny!  And excellent spacing, too: often, I'd get done chuckling at one part just in time to burst into laughter from another part.  Well done!

>>4156741567

Umm, not that I am aware of...yet... although... One DOES have to wonder how a brown stallion and a grey mare with two off-color grey fillies would suddenly have a Pink filly.

>>4160141601

"Every once in a million days...." No, that is the day that must come another time. The 'SPECIAL' day.

This is one of those other super-rare days when the Doctor actually has a 'quiet' day without adventure, which we almost never get to see in the show for obvious reasons.

It would figure he gets stranded in Ponyville on a Sunday. Sundays are rubbish. Nothing happens on Sundays. That's why he never lands on them.

>>4183841838

Did I mention that these comments are what will continue to drive the production of the Doctor Whooves series? Plz keep them coming.

MOAR please

Why do I have a feeling this won't end well...........

Ah... I see you have decided to go episodic with your fic.

I'm a little disappointed though I would of loved to see more on how the Doctor would tackle the

enigma, wrapped in a riddle, surrounded by mystery that is Pinkie Pie.

Oh well story must go on I guess. I look forward to the next installment.

                                                                         -Fin

>>4262542625

Who says that particular path of story is done? It took more than one episode to figure out River Song, now didn't it?

Is Twilight becoming The Master?

I hear the beat of four, the sign of the Master.

I see the pepperpot, the Dalek's return.

I see a reference to the Silence.

I am all kinds of interested. Let's see what you have in store for us...

>>4258342583

Why, whatever do you mean?

i like it but you never finshed travlier off tho so how can you make a sequal for a non finshed fanfic i wana see how it ends D:

>>4267042670

Spoilers.  

This is fantastic.

Absolutely loving the characterizations in this piece. The interactions between the Doctor and Pinkie in particular made my day. Also, the entirety of chapter 3. 'nuff said.

Can't wait to see where you take this next.

Are we supposed to use Doctor Who intro music or

MLP: FiM intro music?

lol

>>4320643206

Please refer to my Blog... which will be updated in the next few days with further musical selections to accompany the episode. Got a bit excited and finished alot faster than expected.

Pinkie is an eldritch abomination, and that's why the Doc is there! Great stuff so far!  

You misspelled a few words, but don't expect spell check to find them because they are still technically spelled correctly. Like 'through' being 'though'.

But I still knew what you meant and others probably will to, so there isn't REALLY much need to go back and change it.

-

Alright, critic part of me aside, I feel as if I'm watching a match made in heaven. You've got talent, (either that or YOU are the Doctor and are writing this as a journal) and we eagerly await the next installments.

Dude, you've been descriptive enough for someone to draw art pics and animate this!I think I am just about hyped up enough to perform a school-girl squeal.  

*Takes out wallet*

*Throws it at the screen*

MOAR PLZ!

I liked that very much!

Slightly different from my take on the Doc and the Mane cast, but you had your own spin, and you have the Squeak seal of approval. (Though you might want to add that this is not in my cannon, but yours.). The Doctor was pretty doctory, and the rest of the mane cast fit in very well. I link Pinkie and the Doctor, they make a good foil for one another, and the Timey Whimey set up for the apple thing was marvelous. The set up works, plays of what I established and makes you want to read more, wonderfully done.

If I had any critisims, I'd say try not to borrow lines directly from the show too much, it happens a few times in this story and it's a touch jarring. Remember this is your story. You don't have to borrow, go nuts! And on occasion the Doctor might slip ever so slightly out of character. But never so much as to be very noticeable, and besides, it is the 12th Doctor, so he's...well... a new character, so there's really no wrong was to go about it.

I think your tales lean a bit more towards the pony than mine as opposed to the who-y side of things but it works out great, and I can't wait to see what you're going to do with your version of my world from here.

Good luck! Onwards and Upwards!

-Squeak

Yay Squeak liked it!  

Thank you, and yes, this chapter was more or less to get footing as The Doctor got 'used' to Equestria, while he's no longer cooking, he is still adjusting (Slower for him this time as compared to the previous 11 since it's his first non-humanoid form) but going for a mix of the Matt Smith/David Tennant Personalties with some more lightening up and a whole new look (which will be presented next Episode) .

The Borrowing from the show was just to get it out of my system. Used up most of the lines I loved in this episode for the distinct purpose of it not becoming a constant thing. Only two or three plot-relevant 'borrowed' lines should be in the next episode, and then no more until closer to the climax.

Also, I did mention in the comments that this is a 'branching continuity' and only Squeak-Anon Doctor Whooves fics should be considered true canon for the Number 12 series. I suppose I need to note that in my description as well though (Already got links up for you)

Again, THANK you for the foundation and the permission Squeak. I hope I can help entertain the rest of FiMFiction as much as your works have entertained me.

I am thoroughly, deeply impressed. My two favourite things in one fanfic, it just made my day. I read Squeaks fics too, and loved them, but this, I daresay, was BETTER. Very, VERY good.

Please keep it up and deliver more delicious awesomeness!

Is the next story going to be like what the epilogue describes it?

>>4658546585

Oh no... The Epilogue crosses multiple episodes, much like the opening season trailer of a series of Doctor Who (Which was the format I was going for).... future epilogues will be episode specific, but this one touches on planned moments from multiple future episodes.

Zomg can't wait

Really great work! The carackters ar very well done and the Doctor is all wibly wobly doctory!

Please keep up the good work in the coming ∞ episodes!    

Except for some spelling and grammar issues, this was a well written story.  You have used Squeak-anon's stories as an effective launching point for your own interpretation of this crossover, and I especially like the (for lack of a better word) "humanity" you have applied to your portrayal The Doctor's as he adjusts to his new regeneration in this very different universe.  The scene in the memory room in particular was quiet moving, and brought me near to tears; on a lighter note, I would love to see Rarity's reaction to Six's "wardrobe"   .

Can't wait to see what you have in store for us, keep up the good work!

There's a 'Green Maelstrom'?

Curiouser and Curiouser....

Even Time Lord Tech knows that trying to figure out how Pinke works is futile.

Friendship powered TARDIS for the win!

>>6288362883

Image: http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/194/c/7/doctor_whooves_by_chaostech321-d3pccr0.png

>>4320643206

Doctor who intro music would be perfect.

>>6897168971

Or...Both:

Theme by Psychadelic Brony

Perfect intro!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOC4EtApdmk

Great story btw!

>>4267042670 loyal2luna didn't make the traveler someone else did, loyal just wanted to base it off of the traveler or have this happen shortly after, just glad to clear any confusion you had

>>116605116605 awesome name dude :)

I thought rule number 1 was that the Doctor lies

>>138665138665

Those are the River Song Revised TARDIS Companion Rules... and those are unauthorized by the standards of Gallifrayan Time-Travel Codes of Conduct... to have this rule added to the list, please contact the nearest  available Time Lord and apply your submission.

Did the sonic screwdriver seriously give up on trying to get Pinkie? The sonic freaking screwdriver?

I'd feel bad for what the Doctor's most likely getting himself into, but anyone's pain that stems from trying to comprehend Pinkie is too amusing.

Wow... words simply cannot express.

I am a massive Doctor Who fan, and a New-Blood Brony. You have amazing talent As a writer. You captured the Ponies and the Doctor's personalities so well! (Granted this is a different rendition of the Doctor, being Twelve and all, but it's still incredible). During the epilogue I literally had goosebumps over my whole body during the "Sinister Voice" bits, and especially with the Sound of Drums. I look forward to future installments with much enthusiasm.

I also enjoyed myself greatly personally reading The Doctor's lines (and for some reason adding facial expressions) out loud to myself, as well as the "Sinister Voice"

Dude, for real, you rOck so hard. You grasp the feeling of the show AND Squeak's story so well! Ease keep this up way past the second episode! Jut know you have loyal fans!

Hello there! Sorry to seem nitpicky but when you refer the the TARDIS' -previous- state, the 'coral theme' is strictly 9th-10th Doctors no? If this is supposed to be number 12 then the most recent TARDIS layout is Matt Smith's, with the bright colors, glass panels, shiny polish and the two staircases in either direction. Don't know if you knew that already or maybe glossed over it, but inaccuracies like that break the illusion for me.

Negatives aside though, I really like the story of this and Game of Stones, (Squeak's continuity also). I'm a big fan of both shows and I feel like you do justice to both materials.

Also, if you wouldn't mind I would like to show you some of the grammar/spelling errors I've noticed in your works. They are admittedly few but noticeable, and I think it would go a long way towards improving reading quality. If not, that's totally fine, ignore the Grammar Nazi.

>>236825236825

Hmm, thought I fixed that already. Oh well, not an issue. The Situation is now fixed. When I wrote it, I didn't know what the new setting was called, but got a fan suggestion a while back that it was the 'Pinball' Desktop.

And while I don't tend to listen to grammar nazi's due to my writing style, if you wish to take the time to help me improve my story... by all means, PM me mistakes I made and I will look to correct. I am not too good to admit I  mess up from time to time . And this goes for all of my readers.

>>236963236963

Thanks for the prompt response! I agree, 'Pinball Theme' is definitely a nice fit.

About those mistakes, I'll gladly take a look through and PM you what I find. I did read your earlier comment about Capitalizing Words for Emphasis so I won't retread old ground, though I find it's a lot easier to get a point across by italicizing a word when stress is put on it.

Heck, if you find yourself needing a proofreader in a more official capacity you have naught but to ask me! I myself have a lot of free time.

I would REALLY like to see more of your work on here your not a bad writer by any standard and you capture the emotions of all the charas really well.... besides who WOULDNT want to see even one of those stories above?

Oh, yay.  I'll check them out.

Ok this is bothering the heck out of me. Where did you get the idea for this trailer? It seems familiar but I just cant place it.

>>318427318427Hmm? Oh, it's my own setup, but I was trying to imitate the style of trailer you see for the newer Doctor Who series such as this for example

This one is for the whole series, but following the conclusion of 'game of stones' planning to put 'episode specific' ones following the epilogues of each story-arc.

>>318446318446

Huh. Guess my mind was just playing tricks on me. Wouldn't be the first time.

Pinkie's just like Carmen from the Planet of the Dead.

Hi Doctor!

Hello, pinkie, how are you?

He will knock four times.

What?

It's either that or that she's a Tenza.

Is this supposed to happen between number 12 and traveler, or after both of them?

>>382483382483

After

>>346358346358

You mean a Tenzite, like the kid from Night Terrors? That doesn't really make sense to me- the thing about Tenzites is that they supposedly want to fit in, and the problems only started when the kid was scared his parents didn't want him anymore. Pinkie Pie couldn't fit in if she used a crowbar; she stands out like nopony's business.

>>346358346358

You mean a Tenzite, like the kid from Night Terrors? That doesn't really make sense to me- the thing about Tenzites is that they supposedly want to fit in, and the problems only started when the kid was scared his parents didn't want him anymore. Pinkie Pie couldn't fit in if she used a crowbar; she stands out like nopony's business.

My own theory involves Weeping Angels.

>>395847395847

Actually, it's spelled Tenza. Either that, or my sources are all wrong. The reason I ever thought that way is because George was taught to put anything that scared her in the cupboard, which he literally did, just like Pinkie and her laughter. And maybe something with her psychic field went wacko when exposed to the sonic rainboom. And I read your fanfic excerpt. So awesome

>>395890395890

Tenza it is. My bad there.

Ohhh sh- Giggle at the Ghostly...

And she's all about making everyone around her happy-

she gets paranoid and then practically shuts down when she thinks they don't want her-

I think you might have something here.

(The only thing that doesn't fit is her outburst at the "going away" party. When George was scared of his dad sending him away, he put his father in the cupboard. If Pinkie were following the same pattern, wouldn't she have started laughing at her fear of being ostracized?)

Oh my god make this trailer. Now. It is BUCKING AMAZING!!!!!!

>>414956414956 Oh this is a season trailer, it's a brief glimpse of the stories to come in my future stories. I wish I could make it... D: I haz no animation talent though.

hay peaplle stopped commenting almost 3 months ago waht gives

did i miss a book or something or are you going to do like sw and start in the middle and go back later? ik this is realy old dont judge me

>>415468415468 Take a look in the description of the story, it explains. The First Two parts of this story were done by the amazing Squeak-Anon and then I continued from the (still unpublished) End of Traveler with 'The Pinkie Conundrum'. Links to the first two parts of the story are in the description for every one of my Dr. Whooves Stories.

>>395950395950 Well, everypony is different. That's what makes us special!

this story is really good

No romantic intentions for Twilight Sparkle.

Riiiiight.

i'ma Dr.Who and i have no words to describe its awesomeness

I KNEW IT!!!!

>>427989427989

ummm okay, I have to ask... Knew what?

This is even better written than Traveller, and I'm enjoying the storyline just as much.  Has this been sent to EQD?  I can't find the link to give it 5-stars.  =(  If it does't immediately get past the pre-readers as good as this is, I'd be shocked.  I'd expect it to at least get a 5-star tag.  

So I just finished reading this (after reading number 12 and what there is of Traveler) and I have to say that this is incredibly well done, I'm loving this series so far and I've only read this one.  I've always loved to imagine how the Doctor would react to Pinkie Pie and I think you hit the nail on the head during every scene between them.  And the bit with the song...priceless!

I can't wait to read more of these.

P.S. DAT SERIES PREVIEW! So many shivers down my spine imagining some of those!

"*Twilight Sparkle lays on her side in her bed, her hair a mess and her tail pulled up against her stomach, hooves holding it tightly as she trembles, her eyes twitching in time with a pounding in her head…*

Rap-tap-tap-tap

Rap-tap-tap-tap

Rap-tap-tap-tap

Twilight:

“Please stop…”

Rap-tap-tap-tap

Rap-tap-tap-tap

Rap-tap-tap-tap

*She clenches her eyes shut in agony as her hooves move to her head.*

Twilight:  

“MAKE IT STOOOPPP!!!!”

*Dark screen.*

Rap-tap-tap-tap

Rap-tap-tap-tap

Rap-tap-tap-tap"

That...is that...does that mean...is she going to be...well played Loyal2Luna well played.  *faved and watched*

>>428087428087 comment #69

i have never read anything so perfect that explains WHY the doctor travels, its was touching and poked me in all the right places, bravo and thank you for that wonderful moment with the doctor and pinkie in the memory room.

First comment ever here. First off; I'm a HUGE fan of both Doctor Who and MLP. So far, i'm loving this mix you have of two great... I don't know what the word is... storylines/shows?? Anyways, I agree with some people saying your writing is better than Squeak-Anon; maybe he needs you to prof-read and expand on what he writes?

Now, Pinkie Pie:

I've heard that in some stories, Pinkie is a Time Lady - Female Time Lord. Just changed like how the Doctor was with that Fob Watch. Then again, she's even more random then even the Doctor.

That's all I've got for now. Later and keep up the good storytelling!

Rap-tap-tap-tap

Rap-tap-tap-tap

Rap-tap-tap-tap

Yeeeesssssssssssss

*sniff* the doctor's story was so sad

I thought that rule one was that the Doctor lies?

this may have already been done, but has anypony ever made a Doctor Who MLP story with ponified Weeping Angels?

>>591473591473 Yes actually, the baseline for my story : "Number 12" was the first and best to do so. There is a link in the description that lead to the first 2 adventures of this 12th Doctor as written by Squeak Anon

>>579367579367

Exactly. Rule 1: The Doctor lies. So why would it be rule 1?  

I have this huge stupid grin on my face right now, because i was listening to Doctor Who soundtracks reading this. "Trust me, I'm the Doctor." lined up perfectly with the audio clip. And now I can't stop smiling like an idiot.

"And it would be nice to meet Princess Celestia and Luna again for the first time…"

I C Wut U Did Thar

Loyal2Luna, I can't find the story titled "The Traveler" could i have a little help please?

>>642200642200 Link is in the description. it's just 'Traveler'  

Thanks

This is quite the read. I was thoroughly satisfied with this story. I did, however, see very cheesy scenes in there. Such as when the doctor introduces himself and they were all like "Doctor Who? .... NO!!!! But, you did good on this and I am loving it. I would like to see a Prequel to all of this though. Unless there is one and I can't find it. In that case, would you kindly  give me a link. I would enjoy reading it. And i think you should ask around in order to get your trailer made. It would be quite the sight to see indeed if it were made. I give you my full support

>>685906685906

Hehe, it's like NOBODY reads the descriptions.

In the description to this story are links to the first 2 stories of the series, written by Squeak. I highly recommend.

Also, the' Doctor Who?' is a CLASSIC line for all companions and recurring characters on first meeting The Doctor.  

I would love to try my hand at making this trailer if it isn't already. No promises on if it will actually be completed.

>>702729702729

Making as in animating? I've said it before, full permissions given. I would love to see it too, but my skills are strictly in the writing. Not multi-media.

On second thought... maybe just the audio. I can't draw at all, let alone animate. I could do some editing of the actual shows though...

aww.....that last scene was adorable!

I just started watching Doctor Who, so I might as well read this!

Doctor Whooves reminds me of the 9th Doctor...

hahahahahaahahaahahaha. Well done there. I hope that the next episodes live up to this awesomeness