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Rainbow Dash and friends have decided they've had quite enough of Scootaloo's obnoxiousness. They just can't stand her anymore, so they decide to band together and put an end to the filly once and for all. Weapons of choice in hand, they set out to find Scootaloo and give her a party she'll never forget.
I mean really, this is just....
I've managed to read cupcakes, but honestly! ಠ_ಠ
As much as I normally dislike gore, this was actually a pretty good story. Only a handful of grammar mistakes, several scenes that made me laugh, and the characters were given consistent characterizations that didn't deviate from the actual show other than the darkness of it.
This isn't funny, creepy, disturbing, or even the slightest bit unnerving. In fact, I didn't even flinch. You went way to far to the point of stupidity. Cupcakes did it perfect, it knew the exact moment when to stop before it went overboard. This just makes you seem like a mentally deficient child screaming for attention. This was just bad, so bad in fact that I won't even give you a funny meme about how much this sucked. But you know, the worst part is that it committed the worst crime possible for a story... it was boring.
Now, if you are really serious about writing, stop with whatever this is and actually try. Just don't waste our time again.
You have subjugated me to one of the most disturbing fics I have ever read. Consider this fic a job well done on that end as you are now on par with Cupcakes and Sweet Apple Massacre, my most two hated fics. Scootaloo is my favorite and after reading this, I want to drive a burning bus full of children into your house with you in it. Thumb down, and I think you have more on your way.
Author Here!
Wow...I really didn't expect much of a response to this...I figured people would just write it off as stupid senseless violence (which it is) and ignore it. I'm glad some people can see the humor in it...the intention was to create something so hyperbolically disgusting that it couldn't be taken seriously. Also I had my head in a handle of gin and just felt the need to piss a bunch of people off 
. In truth I like Scootaloo, I just knew that, being that she's so cute and innocent and has a large fan base, this was the best way to rile everybody up. Anyway, I'm honored to be hated by all of you, and especially by those who compare it to cupcakes, which is my favorite story ever.
Toodles!
I... Wha... WTF!!!
What they did to poor little Scootaloo... I would not do that even to my worst enemy.
Dear Author of this dark, gory, abomination:
My fist, Your face.
I WILL DRINK YOUR BLOOD FOR THIS!
WHAT THE FUCK.
This is got to be the most FUCKED up thing I have ever read. No words can describe the level this fan fic was on....
Please never write anything like this AGAIN!
This is a new level of FUCKED up!
This... This "story" is the most Jizz Blowing, Dick Sucking, Monkey Shitting, Mind Fucking, Mind Blowing, Crap Flowing STORY I HAD EVER READ IN MY WHOLE LIFE!
Alright, now that I've had a few hours to mull over the story, Ive come back with an honest 'critique'
For storywriting, you get an A-. Part of why there is so much rage and wtferry is that the story is written so well, so close to what an official R-rated MLP episode would be, it's scary. Some parts were a little cheesy, started with the Cupcakes allusion and reaching a apex with the description of the wine bottle. That is the point where it becomes obvious this is a Poe's Law of Grimdark fics, where a parody is so well done, it's received as a real one.
And the reason you were upgraded to A- instead of B for your ending cheesiness, the Hope Spot. When I got there I knew there was no way it could have been a dream, but in a few sentences you convinced me. Making the reveal so much more horrifying.
Characters nets you a B+, because these characters have taken a small quirk of theirs, taken a dark twist, and extrapolated it into Grimdark. Spontaneousness becomes wanton destruction, sewing to please into sewing to quiet, magic to help into magic to torture. As this is supposed to be a kind of mockery, they are rather exaggerated, losing your A.
So while the horrible murder of Scootaloo and the despicable Mane Six prevent me from thumbing this up, the fact that I could see an edited version of this being an R-rated MLP episode if the writers were given the chance prevents me from thumbing it down. Hopefully I can see more, and hopefully less Scootabuse, from you~
Me Again!
@Cajun - Thanks for the honest review! I'm always trying to improve my writing and this is the first time I've ever really put anything out there that's gotten any attention, so I appreciate you telling me what worked and what didn't! Your analytical objectivity is much appreciated...some people seem to be reacting rather viscerally, which brings me to:
@nightfang - Bro, chill out. I love MLP (everybody I know calls me a ponyfag), I just decided, albeit in a drunken haze, to try my hand at a grimdark fic. I guess one of the main puroposes of a torture fic is to get a shock reaction, but clearly you're upset beyond far and beyond shock, so my apologies. See, the whole thing is meant to be an excercise in stupid, senseless violence to the point of hyperbolae; it's not meant to be taken seriously. I think if you re-read it with that in mind you might find it less upsetting and more funny.
Anyway, thanks for reading everyone whether you liked it or not. I did not expect this thing to get the attention it's getting so I'm humbled!
hasta la vista!
found one scoots, i outrank you all now
i also wanna know,
1. you have a fucked up mind
2. i love scootaloo
and 3. found in clopfics so...
why did a laugh through most of this? Scoots is my favorite filly, but I still laugh at her demise
God, why is everybody crying and bitching over this? I enjoyed it, <3 you, OP. Now come over here and give me a goddamn hug.
Oh look at me all up in my own comments section again...such a self involved attention whore!
@ Frizzy: Personally, I hope that doesn't happen. I like my dick, for both practical and sentimental reasons.
Anywho I've been thinking...see, I'm getting this sense, call it an inkling, or amazing intuition, that some people dislike this fic for various reasons...I think it was the death and mutilation threats that tipped me off. What I've been trying to communicate in previous posts is that this horrible piece of writing is not meant to be taken seriously, but this message seems sadly lost on many of you, resulting in a lot of negativish comments. I would like to soundly assure you readers that I fully and completely comprehend the fact that you want: me to die, to kill me, for me to kill myself, or suffer some awful bodily trauma such as my dick being cut off with a broken bottle, etc...at least that's the sense I get. So, *message recieved*. In light of that I was wondering if maybe y'all could stop repeating this message ever so frequently, and maybe comment on the story...maybe? Regardless of genre I am a writer and I'm always trying to improve, so I humbly ask that maybe we steer the comments more toward the story, rather than the removal of my genitals and other such unhappy things. Point out the bad (bad as in poorly written, the whole thing is bad i know) parts, let me know what's funny, what works, what doesn't. If all you want to tell me is that I should die and burn in hell, trust me, your sentiment has already been conveyed. Anyway, just something to think about before you go and send me more death threats (which has struck me as somewhat ironic since what you're mad about is a violent fic...).
Derpaloo!
All the threats are a kind of review, you've written the story well enough that those people can see the whole story play in their heads. The fact you have hit almost nothing but death threats tells you that you may have gone a little over the top, which you have stated was your intention. Sometimes you need to read people, because as not a single one would admit this fic is well written, none of them would react like this if the story had been written horribly OOC with no detail and done in under a thousand words. It's harder to hate a story than simply not like it.
I hope you do write another fic, because I've never seen a person that wrote a 60-100+, "disliked into the pits of fanfic hell and then some" fic and came back to write another story. As for this story, I don't have to love it, so I'll just tolerate it 
.
As a fair warning: PRAY THAT THE FANFIC GODS SHOW YOU MERCY SHOULD YOU WRITE ANOTHER TERRIBLE MONSTROSITY THAT IS THIS FIC! Cool?
Something is wrong with your brain. Scootaloo is not intolerable, she is actually sort of funny. I personally love her character on the show.
Second: pony gore is just wrong, especially filly pony gore. I cannot bring myself to read past the second time Twilight picks up Scoot with magic, because I know what's going to happen next. It makes me sad to thing that you consider this writing.
When the mane six all said that they "fucking hated" Scootaloo and when Dash kicked her in the muzzle, I was ready to punch my screen. When you had Rainbow Dash crumple up the drawing of Scootaloo and her idol, my heart almost gave out. When you destroyed Scootaloo's scooter and made her watch? ...You are evil.
And yes, I know that this isn't made to be taken seriously. It's just senseless violence, like Cupcakes and Sweet Apple Massacre.
But I do take it seriously. This is a show for little girls, about friendship and overcoming the problems you have with your best friends, not an inspiration for horrific fics like this one, or any other sort of mother bucking shit you want to put the cast of My Little Pony: FIM through.
Thank you for adding to the ever-growing number of fics out there that truly deserve to die. 
Okay, now that I actually read your fic:
YOU HAVE NO CELESTIA DAMNED IDEA HOW MUCH I WANT TO DO TO YOU WHAT THE MANE SIX DID TO SCOOTALOO. THIS IS TWELVE MILLION TIMES WORSE THAN CUPCAKES, AND I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THIS AGAIN, OR I WILL MAKE IT MY PERSONAL DUTY TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU WILL BE BANNED FROM EVERY SITE THAT YOU HAVE EVER SUBSCRIBED TO, AND THEN I WILL COME AND FIND YOU...
Oh, Celestia, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to rant...well, actually, I did, but then I started thinking about how much this review might scare you and hurt your feelings and...and...well...I'm sorry. You do not deserve all my screaming threats, however bucking awful this story is. Consider your story disliked, double disliked, and triple disliked. I don't even know why knighty allows you to keep writing, or why you haven't been hunted down yet.
Goodbye, idiot.
It's a pleasure leaving you.
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