The Anthropologist

by Weavers of Dreams

-36- Henry

Another week had begun, and Lyra was prepared for another topsy-turvy Monday. She had woken up early, drank a pitcher of thick coffee, had a large breakfast, and then trotted to Sugarcube Corner. Where she picked up a fresh batch of cookies, just like she did every Monday. She even had her own cookie tab set up.

There was no way she was going to be unprepared for today.

"Mondays suuuuck," Lyra muttered dumbly to herself after waiting three hours for someone or something to show up.

It was a very slow day. Admittedly, the previous Monday had been somewhat of an anomaly with a large influx of humans. But, surely there was someone who needed human-related advice.

Yes?

No?

Maybe?

...

Thankfully, Jessi, the little cuddly carnivore arrived in time to save her from going insane.

"Today's the big day, Jessi," Lyra said as she hugged the bundle of adorable against her chest. "You and your brother are going home."

"Now?" the child asked, torn on how to react. On one hand, she could go see her family again. On the other, she would be leaving behind a literal fantasy world full of more friends than she had ever had in her life.

Lyra shook her head. "No, not right this minute. I just have to tell you a few things you need to know before heading back. So, there won't be any playing this session. For a the first bit anyway. Alright?"

Jessi nodded in understanding. Then she gasped as Lyra pressed her Woona plushie into her paws.

"Hold onto this, why don't you?" she said with a smile. "Something to remember me by. Can you do that?"

The small child's eyes welled up with tears as she nodded. She lunged forward and squeezed the mint mare's neck tightly. "I'm gonna miss you, Doctor."

Lyra nuzzled the top of her head. "And I you, Jessi. But, it has to be this way. Your family is missing you something awful."

"Okay," Jessi sniffed, pushing away from the anthropologist and clutching the plushie tightly.

The good doctor patted her head comfortingly. "Now, let me tell you about what you should expect. Questions... lots and lots of questions."

Jessi nodded with a little sigh. "Mommy asks questions even when I'm a few seconds late to dinner."

Lyra chuckled. "My mama was the same way. Ahem. Continuing. Answer honestly, tell them everything."

The little girl gave her a confused look. "But my brother said we can't tell anyone about this place."

Lyra rolled her eyes. "He's seen too many movies. It's better to be completely honest and have nobody believe you than to let them think your hiding something. Understand what I'm saying?"

She thought for a moment, then nodded. "I think so. Mommy always seems to know when I'm... lying. It kinda makes things worse."

Lyra noted how she hesitated to say that last part. Obviously she didn't like admitting that she did lie sometimes. "Just don't let the police think you're lying to them. Tell the truth, let everyone think you're crazy, and you can get on with your life. Though, you can expect to be seeing some psychologists for a few years at least. But, just as long as you don't claim to still be in contact with us, you'll be just fine. Like a passing childhood fantasy."

Or a real winner of a drug trip, she added mentally. That would most likely be everyone's reaction to her story. But, no need to frighten a little girl.

"So you're saying to let everyone think what they wanna think, right?" Jessi suggested in the best possible way she could paraphrase Lyra's advice.

The mare chuckled. "Exactly. That'll be easier to remember. Don't worry about your brother, I'll warn him about his paranoia before you leave. Despite the trouble he's caused, he doesn't deserve to go through years of pointless investigations and stuff."

Jessi was nibbling on the ear of the plushie as she listened to the mare. Nodding at intervals. She did have one question though. "Am I gonna be able to say good bye to my friends?"

Lyra snatched her up kissed her forehead. "Of course you are. We're not monsters. We'll find you when it's time to go." She gave the filly a little squeeze and then grabbed the toy chest. "I can let you out now, or would you like to play until the session is over?"

The little girl hugged her back and sniffed. "Let's play. I might not see you again for a while."

"Okay," Lyra said, holding back a few tears. "Let's build a castle. Oh, and have a few cookies, what'd'ya say?"

* * *

Sometime later Lyra walked out of the office with Jessi beside her, clutching the plushie tightly as they went to meet with her guardian. Golden Harvest was sitting patiently out in the waiting room, reading a book she had brought from home. There was also Big Macintosh, his coat laying bunched up on the floor, talking to her secretary. What about?

Jessi suddenly sprinted forward and hugged Golden's leg, while balancing the plushie on her head. "Mrs. Harvest, lookit what the doctor gave me."

The yellow mare closed her book and smiled down at Jessi. "Well, that was very kind of her. You did remember to say 'thank you', right?"

The girl adopted a sheepish expression. "Oops." She turned to face Lyra. "Thank you for the stuffed animal."

Had she been an adult, calling it a "stuffed animal" might have been seen as offensive. Particularly when it was a representation of one of the country's leaders. As she was so young, the adults just chuckled at the childish ignorance.

"You're very welcome, Jessi," Lyra said as she patted her head fondly. She turned to address the other mare. "She's been one of my better patients. On behalf of the Anthropological Society, I would like to thank you for taking care of her and her brother during their stay."

Golden nodded and threw a mock salute. "Just doing my duty as an Equestrian citizen, ma'am." They both giggled for a moment.

"Well," Lyra said with a sigh. "You can take her now. Let her say her goodbyes to all her friends. We'll come get you when it's time. Okay?"

The mare nodded and bent down to let Jessi climb onto her back. "Very well, Ms. Heartstrings. I'll make sure she has one last chance to visit and play with all her friends."

"Make sure to give her brother the rest of the day off as well," Lyra added nonchalantly. She smirked when Golden Harvest's face contorted like she had bit into something unpleasant. "Don't argue, Harvest. He's paid back his debt and he should rest before he goes home today."

The mare looked back at the filly on her back, her face softening a bit, then back at the mint mare. "Ugh, fine," she sighed in a longsuffering fashion. "But he'd better not hang around the house. Let him slack off elsewhere."

"You can't stay mad at him forever," Lyra said firmly.

"I will stay mad at him until he leaves," Harvest said with a humph, tilting her nose up into the air. Then she gave Lyra a wink. "Then I'll wait till after Winter Rap-up to replant my carrot patch and it'll be as if none of this ever happened."

"You're terrible," Lyra chuckled dryly. "I'm just glad you didn't take things too far."

"He is just a child, after all," the mare replied as she started for the door. "Were he older things would have been much different."

Lyra waved as they left and then turned to the large earth pony. "So, Big Mac. What can I do you for?"

"New one," was the red giant's response as he bent down and picked up his coat to show her the shivering contents.

Lyra gently grasped the bundle in her magic and quirked her eyes. "Are you sure? He looks like a normal colt to me."

He nodded, but didn't say anything.

The mint mare sighed as she brought the child into her hooves and began undoing the coat. It was a rather colorful coat, the kind of thing a little sibling would give an older sibling, and the older sibling would only wear it so he wouldn't break the younger sibling's heart. Big Mac was a smart stallion, he had found the perfect excuse to be rid of the hideous thing without burning any bridges.

Without being intrusive, or inappropriate, Lyra began to examine the colt, cooing comfortingly as she did so. He was a soft green with a rusty orange mane, and brown eyes. He was shivering from both the cold and fear. Lyra quickly rewrapped him and rubbed his head gently. "I can't see any sign of him being an amalgamation. True, I've never seen him before, but... are you sure he's human?"

"I-I am h-human," the colt said meekly, drawing the attention of all three of the ponies. This prompted him to try and sink deeper into the massive coat.

Lyra hugged him softly as she addressed the other ponies. "There are some definite signs of recent transferal. And word of mouth cannot be excused so quickly, so... I'll take him into my office and sort this out." She levitated him onto her back, which seemed to disturb him a bit. "Millie. Get some paperwork ready. This may or may not be a new human resident. And as for you Macintosh."

Big Mac tilted his head, not sure why she had addressed him like that.

"I swear, seven times out of ten, they wind up on your family's property(1)," she said with a groan. "So, thanks again, for bringing in yet another human. The Anthropological Society thanks you."

"Uuuh, yer welcome?" Big Mac said, rubbing the back of his head.

Millie and Lyra giggled. "Get going big guy. You don't need to waste your day with paper work. That is, assuming you've already filled out the Finder's Form."

"Right here," Millie said, holding up a blue sheet of paper. It was signed in a very eloquent style. He was also good at calligraphy.

"Okay then, have a nice day Big Mac," Lyra said with a wave.

After all was said and done, she closed the door to her office behind her and laid the bundled colt on the floor and then laid down across from him. She gave him a warm smile.

"Now, I'm not saying I don't believe you, but... we've had ponies come in here just for the sake of attention and other things. You're not one of those are you?"

He shook his head.

"Of course not," Lyra said kindly, reaching out with her magic and grasping a cookie.

The colt watched in wide-eyed fascination as the delectable dessert floating to him, wrapped in a gold aura. "Magic seems to fascinate you. Perhaps you are human... or just wish you were a unicorn. Eat up. We've got a few questions."

The colt tried and failed to grasp the cookie in his hooves, making Lyra all the more certain. He finally managed to pinch it between his hooves in an awkward fashion, and from there began to eat it. The mare waited for him to finish before asking her first question.

"Now that you've got something in your tummy, tell me... what's your name?"

The colt wiped the crumbs from his face and pulled the coat closer about his body. "H-Henry... Henry Mindell."

* * *

(1) Seriously. Writers seem to love that place.

Comments

[Masterweaver]

It's big, but close to civilization, and also borders the Everfree. Nice nexus.

[Weavers of Dreams]

7459123 Never said it was a bad thing. It definitely works after all. Some of the best HiE fics start out that way.

The Harmony For All series though, does a creative scenario where the main protagonist literally drops from the ceiling of the Canterlot throne room right in front of the princesses and the mane six.

[readsponies]

I've seen a lot more HIEs land in the Everfree, get attacked by timber wolves, and get picked up by Fluttershy than I've ever seen show up in Sweet Apple Acres.

[Queensarrow]

7459174
Also, have you seen the size of their orchards?

[Mitch H]

7494788 Forced perspective. The camera adds two hundred acres to a farm.