• Published 3rd Apr 2016
  • 3,343 Views, 346 Comments

The Anthropologist - Weavers of Dreams



Join Lyra as she interacts in various human-related problems ranging from wannabe Nazis to eldritch horrors that just need some love. No problem is too great that it can't be fixed with a baseball bat or high-powered cieling fan, that's a promise.

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-33- Saturday Part: Four

Lyra managed to get home without any incidents. Save for a certain slushball sniper who eluded her vision. But that was okay. She just levitated a hundred or so snowballs up from the ground and flung them in the general direction of the attacker. It promptly stopped after that. She hadn't used that technique during the morning's snowball fight, because that just wouldn't have been fair to a bunch of foals. This sniper threw too hard to be a foal.

"Hope there was a rock in one of those," Lyra muttered as she rubbed a bruised shoulder. "That really hurt. What jerk chucks those things at pedestrians?"

Anyway, she closed the door behind her and declared herself to the household. "It's me, Lyra, I'm back."

"In the family room, Lyra," came Bon Bon's voice. "Come say hello to our guest."

There was no way Lyra was letting that mare see her bags. She might want to look in them. Then she would find the lingerie. She would never be able to live that down. "In a minute, Bonny, I'm just going to put away my stuff."

"Oh, don't be rude, Lyra," the mare chided from the other room. "Just come in here and say hello, and tell us about your day."

Lyra sighed. Maybe the earth pony wouldn't notice. And maybe she was going to sprout wings and become empress of the Western Isles. Speaking of which, she hoped she got a postcard from Mr. Smith soon.

"Coming, Bonny."

Lyra could have left her bags by the door, but, better Bon Bon and her guest see what she had than little Twist.

In the family room, she found Bon Bon and the resident milkmare. "Hiya, Milky. What are you doing here?"

"Just came over to talk with my favorite cousin, and deliver what I owe for my little Pip's therapy," the mare in question answered with a wave as she stuck her nose into her work bags. She pulled out two full bottles and allowed Lyra to grasp them in her magic. "I've been eating a lot of blackberries left over from the harvest. Should give it a smooth taste."

"You have left over blackberries?" Lyra asked in amazement. "We ran out months ago."

"And just whose fault is that?" Bon Bon asked redundantly.

"It's not my fault your crumbles are to die for," Lyra waved her off. "So, Milky. What else you here for?"

"Well, as you know, I am the only milkmare in Ponyville," the earth pony began with a smile, which promptly started to fall. "Which, of course, means that the supply has a hard time meeting demand. I'm not a cow like Bessie down the street, I can only do so much by myself. Which is why I'm trying to convince my dear cousin here to have another foal so we can both benefit from some extra income."

"First of all, Milky," Bon Bon spoke up, "Noteworthy and I are already in the process of trying to have another foal. We're both kinda hoping for a colt this time. And second of all, I run a candy shop. I don't know if I have the time."

"It takes less than twenty minutes with a proper milking machine," the mare responded quickly. "It really is a simple morning and evening routine. If that's too much for you, then what are you doing with your life?"

Bon Bon mulled it over and then look down at herself. "Hmmm. I dunno, do I even have the right kind of body for that?"

"Oh, stop pulling out excuses," Milky rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Any mare can do it as long as they take the time. Milkmares have been in our family for generations, which means it'd be a snap for you. You don't have to give me an answer just yet, I'll wait until you have that foal of yours, then see what you think of it then. Deal?"

Milky stretched out her hoof towards her cousin.

Bon Bon mulled it over for a bit then bumped the hoof with her own. "Deal. I will think it over."

"You're gonna do it," Lyra quipped with a chuckle. Bon Bon gave her a withering glare. Lyra just rolled her eyes. "Okay fine. But, you know I'm right."

"As do I," Milky chuckled, giving Lyra a wink. Bon Bon blushed.

Then the candy maker noticed the saddlebags. "Lyra? What's in your bags?"

Before Lyra could react, the nosy mare had lifted the lip of the bag and pulled out the bowling ball. "Um... what? Lyra? Where did you get this?"

The mint mare almost collapsed in relief. It was the other saddle bag. "Oh, just something needed in order to get this jar of apple cider."

She quickly reached into her other saddlebag and whipped out the jar. Which was caught on the clothes bag from Rarity's Boutique, which promptly spilled out once she extracted the jar.

So, there they were, three mares, two shifting awkwardly, and one blushing like beet, staring at six swimsuits and a piece of lacy red lingerie on the floor. Lyra wanted to crawl into a crack in the wall and die.

"Honey, I'm back early from my meeting," Noteworthy called as he entered the house.

Lyra's pupils shrank to pinpricks as her deal with Rarity barged its way to the forefront of her mind. "Crap."

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