This is sort of a 'whats going on chapter.' The rest will be much longer.

Haven't read it yet, but the concept is something I'd enjoy. Will read and post thoughts shortly.

>>749036749036

Probably a bad idea putting this online a DAY before I go on a week long trip. Expect new chapters every Mon except for the 18th.

I'll save this one for later, since I'm a big Zelda fan.

I hope the story is as good as it looks in the description.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png

Nice job so far, can't wait for the next chapter

Couple of small things that I noticed. In chapter two, AJ seems very calm for finding a creature (Link) that is not native to Equestria. I'd imagine the meeting would be a little more hesitant especially as she can see he  is armed.

Also, ehhh at breaking the 4th wall as the narrator. It's one thing when Pinkie does it in context of a scene. For example, I'll reference The Empty Room by Wanderer D here.

That's because talking is a free action!” Pinkie-Orb giggled.

It's a 4th wall joke that pinkie makes and is amusing because Pinkie is doing it, not the narrator.

Just a couple things to think about. if I notice anything else I'll let you know

Lol I felt the same in Twilight Princess I wanted to talk to Epona but always the same line

Epona still awesome :3

Good fic

>>749277749277

Thanks for the suggestions, I hadn't realized how incautious AJ was. I MAY fix that.The fourth wall joke was as slight humor as your going to find. The humor in the situation was hardly noticeable, but some people will get it.

>>749689749689

Overall though it definitely has potential, and I'm sure as you write more it will get better. Practice makes perfect after all

I can definitely see some amusing scenes upcoming with the rest of the mane 6 learning about Link, so I'm looking forward to it. And if you ever want suggestions, or just want to bounce ideas off someone, just let me know and I'll do what i can to help

>>750282750282

Thanks! I have started the next chapter with some Brandon Sanderson (look him up. Hes one of my favorite authors. Especially his Alcatraz books. They are hilarious!) inspired humor.

Interesting concept. Throwing Navi in with the parasprites was a brilliant idea, but you need longer chapters.

Excellent concept, less than satisfactory execution. The story feels much too rushed, and has a massive lack of detail. I can tell you have the story laid out in your head, but putting it into words is different. I recommend you get someone to help translate your thoughts and ideas into words, and give a second insight into the story.

I don't think Link would remember, or get any visions of the "Link" in Twilight Princess. Many fans look at ocarina of time, and its sequel Majora's Mask, as the starting point in the chronology of the series, seeing as how many other LOZ games refer to the original "Link" as the Hero of Time. But I digress.

This chapter shows us point and time.

Epona is best pony

"I'm not going to ride you?" Oh link

>>752921752921 Maybe link (because of the seven year pause incident) was connected to his incarnations

>>757358757358 I'm not sure if that would apply because at the end of Ocarina of Time Zelda sent Link back into the past so he could live out his life as a kid. But once again, I digress.

>>758157758157 he still went back and forth through time.

>>758267758267 Your point? I don't see how that would bring him any closer to his reincarnations.

>>758312758312 my point being that link traversed upon the VERY FABRIC OF TIME. He may have seen the future or gotten bits of his memory switched with his incarnations.

>>758495758495 And my point is is that I'm not going to get into this conversation! We don't know anything about the effects of time travel so this argument would be purely speculation on both sides!

Ah....good point >>758503758503

I return from my vacation! Yay!

The first three chapters should be the shortest. The rest are expected to be 1000-2000 words, usually around 1250

>>758503758503

It was intended to come into play later in the story, maybe even explained, but it was intended to be he did everything his reincarnations did, but only know them as a memory "of another time". Its hard to explain, but it should make more sense as the story progresses.

>>802738802738 Well from my original standpoint, I was looking at it from a logical standpoint and from a fan of the games, but this is your story. It's expected for things to be changed ^_^

Welp, time to get my Fim-tendo 64 up and running!

man, you should stop doing this 'explaining of what Link says' and give him some dialogue.

He does Talk in the videogames, but it's text doesn't appear on screen to let us gamers have a little imagination on what he is saying, thus letting us insert a little of our soul (so to speak) in the character and feel familiar. Proof of this is all the green colored dialoges given in game. Most of them being yes, no, accept and others; but the most important one is when he meets Zelda and introduces himself to her saying his name in green letters.

Since this is a fic and not a videogame, it is easier for the reader to understand what is happening (also due to the fact that maybe not everyone has played the videogame, though that should be considered a sin

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Pinkie_loool.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png

Progress.

>>805281805281

Exactly. He is saying stuff. It's just his text, or his dialogue, doesn't appear. It is supposed to strike aggravation, just like my aggravation when I couldn't control what Link said at ALL (in games other that Skyward Sword). Also, I don't think non-Zelda fanatics would want to read this story.

Now THIS is what I"m talking about. If you'd like some coverart, amythistfire, I've got a buddy who'd do it; he did the cover for mine, which was hand-drawn. Also, feel free to check out My fic as well, which is in the vein of this particular story, if you can handle a bit of blood.

Watched, liked, favorited.

>>841119841119

Ill make you a deal. You get me some cover art and i'll pretend to enjoy your story (sarcasm. It sounds interesting cant find it though).

I can't believe you screwed up the name sugarcube corner

>>841585841585

For whatever reason, if I go into editing, it combines all the paragraphs, and I can't find anyway to fix it. I'll try fixing it. Cross your fingers!

Grrr, I have to revise the format, I'll get it up soon enough.

Nevermind, I'll post it when I'm done with it.

Aw, shit gonna go down...

Holy shit! Shits getting real! can't wait for the next chapter

That's what I hated about MM. The whole story was based upon the idea that anyone would want to have Navi near them.

there is something off in your fic.... oh yeah! RD isn't supposed to be a male, check and fix man!!! anyways other than that good story up till now

>>858530858530

I've said it before, I'll say it again. Until recently, I thought Rainbow WAS a guy, due to her personality. Thanks though. I'll fix it tomorrow.

It's been THIS long since I've gotten my first dislikes?

I did a pretty good job.

>>861248861248

MOAR

I mean, if it's okay with you.

Please make this as dark as possible. Majora's Mask haunted my childhood, in a good way. Like The Shining. I feel it is supremely underrated, and it more atmospheric, dark, compelling, and absorbing than any other game, besides Silent Hill and Eternal Darkness. DO NOT feel restricted.

>>881214881214

I will be writing as the story pops into my head. Story characters have a strange way of grabbing the story and having authors write what they want rather than what we want. Thats what I mean by bending towards dark. Not that I mean for it to, it just might happen towards chapter 8 or 9.

My sister is helping me edit some of the wording. It should make my grammar more gooder. Also, some points were a bit bulky and I may edit some wording here and there and the whole 'feel' of the story.

that sounded so wrong

>>894589894589

What did I say? I usually catch those things, but I cant find what you mean.

Well, my vacation was cut short, so I'm able to put the next chapter up before the scheduled Weds/Thurs.

You're welcome

>>919142919142What the...It was cut short? Something happen to cause that? If you'r wondering, no. I didn't read the chapter....I lost my damn glasses...again. I had to zoom in on the comment to read it and didn't want to read the whole chapter that way.

>>919206919206

*Ahem*

My school offered me a job, but I had to come home to accept it.

No injuries or anything (although my neighbor down the block's house was set on fire. I missed it though.)

Fixing a few spelling mistakes...and...DONE!

Perfect, but could you keep the Author's Notes until the end please?

Yep it's starting to turn into youtube. Anyway short chapter from being angry, sounds legit Can't wait to see how the fight's going to go without his masks especially the Fierce Deity mask

I agree with DoctorOMalley.Still an interesting story.

A fave isn't a like you know :twilightangry2

Those who like it are the ones that comment

>>956714956714 you deleted part of your emoticon also keep the authors notes till the end or beginning not the middle

>>957391957391

>>955362955362

>>956119956119

Quote, from the previous chapter:

I'm going to interrupt here to tell you that I am going to make you very annoyed with me in the next two chapters. Let me italicize that properly: very annoyed. For example, I will stop in the middle of the action to explain things that you probably don't care about.

I may stop. MAY stop.

Well i guess THAT explains why your mad at us.. but the reason i don't comment is because i have nothing to say.. sadly..

TO THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON

great chapter. :D

i would like to see link get a earth pony, pegasus, unicorn, and alicorn mask like how he got the other masks in game.

great chapter keep it coming.

THATS why your mad. Really....

Sorry, but its so stupid I cant help it! Sure, a few dont hurt, but TROLLING us cuz we just wanted to read a great book without typing something is just STOOPID!

Sorry, but its the truth. And sometimes, the truth hurts.

The more you know.

And knowing is only half the battle!

G.I. Joooooooe!!!!!!!!!

Sorry for the short chapter.

Well finally a new chapter.. it's a bummer it's so short ah well can't wait for the next chapter (Finally i have something to say )

>>10516861051686 dang it now this is just a worthless comment since you took what i was going to say

>>10521321052132

>>10521321052132

>>10522261052226

Alright, alright! Brake it up, you two!

>>10522511052251 MOAR

Grr! I can't get inspiration for the next chapter! I know what's going to happen, just how to make it happen. Suggestions?

>>10942811094281 Uhh... Link encounters Nightmare Moon/Luna and learns her story?

That way, the chapter might be a bit longer added to the fight.

And you shall do it... *puts on sunglasses* Like a boss

Comments? I only use 'em for discussing mistakes and issues, nothing else.

Except maybe the occasional joke.

At the moment, I can't think of anything.

Well...I can crack a joke now! (No matter how horrible)

Manticore RD, AWAY!

Whoa... This story is awesome! There's only a limited amount of ways you can say that.

Seriously Navi... I don't care if you didn't know, , just

A bit hard to read. The dialogue isn't very realistic. “I am Navi: A woodland fairy sent to protect Link of Hyrule on the death wish of the Great Deku Tree!"

Oh well... It's Legend of Zelda so I'll read on.

>>12056491205649

How is it hard to read?

That just seems like something Navi would say.

>>12056491205649

How is it hard to read?

>>12058231205823

It's not hard to read, per se. It's hard to imagine that being realistic dialogue. Navi's introduction seemed more like a quck biographical summary than a realistic introduction. It also didn't have a natural breath--even a comma would've helped. Regardless, the overall story-line isn't bad.

Sorry man, I'm usually a beta reader so I don't normally comment unless I notice a mistake. So if I don't leave a comment then you're all good my friend.

PLEASE ADD NEW CHAPTER!

>>13173531317353

Sorry, I just can never find time to do this. I only have an outline of the next chapter, no actual story line. I'll get started on it soon though.

I can see how that Navi could get mistaken for a Parasprite

>>14023301402330

You are here-by forgiven from chapter 6. (you still need to read it. It'll make sense when you get there.)

>>12058931205893 I think I meant to put a comma there, I fixed it now.

Why the heck is TP link mentioned with the Hero of Time as a wolf >:| makes no sense breaks lore

gahhhhhhhh you break so much lore author GO PLAY ZELDA before you write a fic

>>15136351513635

Im pretty sure lore is the wrong word, though I couldnt tell you what the right word is.

Its actually supposed to imply that all Links are incarnations with 'memories' of his previous and futur adventures.  Blame Myamoto for such a messed up Zelda timeline.

'Just to be evil, I'm going to interrupt the story here to explain why I'm angry at you. It's because you guys don't comment on my chapters. I'm sorry for those of you who HAVE commented. I'm punishing the majority, and, well, I guess that's what you get for liking this weird Legend of Zelda/My Little Pony crossover. '

DUDE!!!! just,DUDE!!!!!! get a life! go to famous storys and actually do a good comment and tell them to visit this story!!! that will get you more comments!

>>15548551554855

I'm not THAT desperate for comments, to Spam. I wouldn't like it if someone came to my story,

Dude come check out my story. It's much better then yours. Herp-a-derp-derp

Plus I get so annoyed at those comments on YouTube,

Hey, I'm a new commentator, and I thought you would give a f*** to come check me out. Thanks!

It's like, really?

And, plus you must have liked it enough to have made it THAT far.

Navi is thinking Da fuq?

... Mother of god

he took an arrow to the leg

Umm not to be mean but this sucks..

>>16449701644970

People are inclined to their opinions. And this was not meant to please everyone. Its OK.

>>16449701644970

Do you mind telling me, how it's bad, or what I could do to make it better? Ya know constructive criticism?

Well I just re read it and it's actually not that bad, it just seemed weird to me having Link in this and talking haha. Not bad though

Aww, now I feel sorry for poor Navi

SONG OF TIME I COOSE YOU!

>>957600957600plz plz plz stop talking in the FREAKING MIDD LE OF THE FREAKING STORY

>>17697611769761

That's just the reaction I was hoping for.