A guy who did pony stuff at one point.
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Twilight receives an urgent message from the Princess to meet her, but it comes with something she didn't expect... a bouquet of flowers. With nothing but the words "It's very important!", Twilight sets off for Canterlot.
Spanish Translation by SPANIARD KIWI: https://www.deviantart.com/spaniard-kiwi/art/La-reina-y-la-pupila-1000351296
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Another story of Alexstrazsa? I'm going to read this right now!
EDIT: After reading - I liked it! A wonderful story, maybe a tad too short, but that's just my opinion. Thumbs up from me!
One my favorite (I don't read stories either way) authors writes a story?! Insta-fav. I feel like a fangirl all over like the Harry Potter fans... So this is how it feels?
Anyways... I feel scared to read on to the second chapter... alcohol is never a good sign
A Twilight/Celestia fic that ISN'T shipping?! What blasphemy is this?!
I kid, I kid. Seriously, this one-shot is full of d'aww. Usually, though, things happen the other way around. Twilight tries to confess to Celestia. Nice to see a little reversal on this.
752834
It was a one-shot. Sorry bud!
752858
Eh, it was a hit or a miss, I guess. Seems like when I try to be funny I can't. D:
752885
Fair enough, I'll switch it to Normal.
This was awesome. I laughed hard. I never knew it was so much fun to read about it instead of experiencing it.
This what I imagine would happen if one of them fell for the other. Still, I can dream.
... I like to imagine a much different scenario, but this was a nice story.
I was really hoping Twilight would say yes, but I find that the ending was very satisfying. Far too many shipfics end with them having the perfect relationship (I do this too much), so it's nice to see the occasional one that shows a more realistic approach.
A twilestia shipfic where they dont end head to haunches by the fouth paragraph? I daresay this is a breath of fresh air.
GET KINKY YEAH!!!!!!!
752882
Good... good....
I'm a little torn on this. On the one hand, I praise your originality for writing a shipping story that doesn't take off because one of the party isn't interested. You even made the most important reason be "I'm just not into other mares," which, arguably, is all the reason needed (I've long been of the opinion that Celestia must have gotten over the immortal thing years ago - better to have loved and lost than never at all, as they say. But I've no doubt Twilight might mistake it for an issue, and Celestia certainly didn't seem convinced, so no protest here for mentioning it).
On the other hand, I can't help but feel it's to short, too linear, to explore what you're trying to explore. I dunno if you were trying to play with the "Twilight gets summoned for Twilestia shenanigans" set-up that a lot of Twilestia stories have, but the whole idea of Celestia summoning Twilight to the castle in order to romance her opens a whole can of worms of Twi being under duress and abuse of authority by Celestia. Which is part of the reason that I'm torn - while I'd imagine someone as wise as Celestia would be more careful about this if she wanted to pursue a relationship, I gotta commend Twilight since she really tackled the issue well, calmly but firmly explaining her feelings on the matter in the climax of the story.
It's clear Celestia is rather excited. The letter doesn't actually carry any explicit order, but it does ask her to come directly to her. Likewise she's very flirty, to the point it makes Twilight uncomfortable. My question throughout all this - why is she so excited, so sure that Twilight will reciprocate? She's had a long time to consider this, but what changed? What prompted this that encouraged Celestia to be so forward in her attempt here? It just doesn't seem like her to throw caution to the wind and try this strategy (Again, my bias is clear, considering the title of my own Twilestia fic). It's possible Celestia has a great motivation, but she never voices it, so to the reader it seems like she's arbitrarily thrown off her wisdom/common sense and consideration for Twilight's feelings in order to act like a lovestruck cougar used to getting what she wants. I could definitely see Rarity doing this, perhaps even Luna, but Celestia? It's a hard sell.
On the whole, I applaud your portrayal of Twilight, but remain unconvinced by your portrayal of Celestia. The climax was great, but we're never given a reason for Celestia's out of behaviour actions. I'm really worried that Celestia was written like that to justify the climax, which would be disappointing since I don't see that as necessary to reach that lovely conclusion of the tale.
753528
Thank you very much for the thoughtful comment! First, thank you for the compliments. Going into this, I wasn't really sure how I would do because I've never written a story like this before, so It's good to see that I got part of it right. As for your criticism, I agree that it was too short. See, this was for a little event I was participating in, and the idea was to write a fic that was less than 10k and use a prompt. Now, if I wanted to, I could take this idea and bring it multiple chapters and flesh things out - especially Celestia. Thinking back, I realize I probably should have started it off with Celestia doing some planning so that I could show her side of the story and better justify how she's acting. I was trying to portray that she's very excited and giddy because she's been waiting to do this, and the day has finally come, so she can't wait to finally explain her feelings.
Of course, you, the reader, wouldn't know that last part. The explanation for it is definitely something to consider adding in.
753586
Ah, a challenge fic, was it? I couldn't tell, such was the quality, bravo.
I can totally get behind Celestia being giddy over finally confessing to Twilight, on a number of levels - one, everyone loves happy Celestia, two, it lets the reader understand her motivations and gets us to root for her, and three, gives the reader a bigger punch in the gut in the subversion when Twilight denies her. She'd need some strong reasons to mistakenly believe Twilight feels the same, of course, to go with such powerfully romantic gestures.
As an addendum, if you're considering a tweak her and there I might avoid mentioning "I've looked after you since you were a filly" and the like, as that's another can of worms that doesn't need to be opened. Might I recommend her feelings began to bloom as Twilight did, during the season when she became an independent mare? Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all.
Huh, ship-that-isn't, except it's not written as a rabid anti-shipping story with rabid hateful sentiment, but simply- huh.
Okay, this was very, very different, and it was also well written. I hitched (in a good way) on some phrasings, some little bits where you have good variance, and I like that, but as far as the overall arc goes, I think I have to echo what's been said before here; the length kind of hurts it.
Don't get me wrong here - I liked reading it, it was worthwhile, and the hooves-up is heartfelt. The idea behind the emotional payload is supreme, and the general way that Twilight treats it - as well as the very end - is well done, to me. I just feel it could've perhaps benefitted from a longer buildup (somepony commented on Celly PoV first perhaps?) and making Celly's approach to this, well, hm.
I am aware that Celly's characterization in pure canon, combined with her status as a near-goddess (as you say) makes any attempts at attributing her with a hard canon approach to the situation impossible. All the same, she seems a little more flimsy and frail than I would have thought her; you could easily have emphasized how she's out of touch with things due to her status, as an alternative.
That may just be personal preference, though. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the TwiLestia interactions here, at all. I like how you handle the crux of the conversation, too. The length "issue" (if it can be called such a thing) is the only thing I feel reasonably sure about - it simply feels too short to harvest this payload.
Well done though! I could never write anything like this. I'm bad at short fics, and, well, not shipping? You be crazy, pony! (I kid.)
I was going to make several comments but Varanus deftly handled most of my issues with the story. My only remaining criticism involves Twilight's "Not enough free time" reason. I have problems with this on two levels. 1. Over the +1000 years of Equestrian history the society hasn't developed a governing hierarchy to handle a good number of decisions that must be made on a daily basis. Add in the fact that she ruled alone for a 1000 years I have a hard time believe that between her sister, the Royal Guard, and various other representatives(Mayors exist so I'm assuming there might even be governors?) that they wouldn't be to handle Celestia in a diminished role. 2. It implies that she's not entitled to have what other ponies have a real "life". Everyone else is allowed to have someone to love and hold them but not you is a pretty harsh statement.
753748
It helps that those are Twilight's reasons for why she believes the relationship couldn't work, and might not necessarily reflect the reality of the situation. Both it and the first reasons could be argued with, and Celestia certainly seemed ready to refute them. However, the third reason is the inarguable one - Twilight just isn't attracted to her. The relationship could never happen in this context, so it isn't needed in this story to dispute the other issues - which is why I said it was the only reason that was needed.
753671
I'm guessing Twilight looking up to her and always trying to do her best doesn't quite cut it, hehe. Also, I've removed that line. You raised a good point.
753708
Thanks for the comment! I'm really considering adding a scene at the beginning to help with Celestia's emotions about things, which will either make the fic better or worse depending on how I write it. Hopefully better.
753748
Well, in my head I was just thinking how as soon as Celestia wakes, she probably spends most, if not all of her waking hours doing something, whether it be holding court, disputing claims, foreign relations, etc. A lot of important political stuff that requires her constant attention. Of course, as you said, her staff could most likely handle things if she gave up some responsibilities. However, that's just one of the reasons Twilight brings up, even if it is harsh.
753947
Well, always admiring her is a good start, but let's not forget that Twilight saved her sister Luna from the corruption of Nightmare Moon; defeated Discord, the only being that could frighten her; and boldly took on an army of changelings without a moment's hesitation - all the while is being a good conversationalist who appreciates history and magic, and relishes Celestia's company for who she is rather than the crown on her head, as seen in Best Night Ever.
Twilight is a prodigy and likely one of the most important heroes to Equestria ever. I'd say that's enough to make anyone pause and take another look, don't you?
There was love potion in that wine.
images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw246_celestia%20smirk.png
754409
Shoot, you figured me out real quick. Now the super secret sequel is ruined forever!
Not bad. Some grammar errors that drew me out of things, but hey, we were all on a limited time period. If given more time to breathe and the setup more time to become creepy (although "Celestia coming on strong" does have its own sense of creepiness, I'd think she'd go for a more subtle approach rather than blundering in), I could see this having a nice effect overall. Right now it feels a bit rushed, but in terms of our little contest, well done.
Wow! Was not expecting that ending.
Good job though!
754409 Is "love potion" equestrian for rohypnol?
Actually, makes a lot more sence than Twilestia fics. Reminded me of "Interference" , similar idea. And I just adore 'anti-shipping' . When one party just isn't interested and other can accept that. Can you write similar story with Octavia and Vinyl Scratch?
I have to feel sad for Celestia, but this is a great story.
While I can appreciate a story of this nature that lacks the usual venom and vitriol common to the anti-shipping fic, I can't help but feel that this whole thing is more than a little contrived. Wouldn't have Celestia known Twilight isn't into mares by now? She is centuries old, the ruler of Equestria and Twilight's mentor and friend, so you'd think she would know how to pick up on things like that. Furthermore, why didn't she confirm that Twilight was into mares first before coming on to her? Again, given her age and rank, you'd think she would know to err on the side of caution by now, regardless of her personal feelings. Varanus has already voiced the rest my issues with the story better than I could have so I guess I'll leave it at that.
onesided Twilestia shipping ohgod how do react
TwiLestia is my head cannon, but if the pairing ends up otherwise, this is what happens.
NOOOO
TWILIGHT
HOW COULD YOU REJECT HER
You evil. evil. creature
As much as Twilestia is my OTL, it's good to see a writer who understands their relationship isn't about sex. Celestia can get that from any yes-mare and it would be step down in character for Twilight to just meekly submit to her ruler's desires.
Still, it does feel a bit short and Celestia's out of character. It'd be one thing if Celestia's wasn't terribly good about relationships, but she seems too self-assured in this fic for that to be the case. OTOH, you said this was intended to be a short one-shot, so this is more of a nitpick.
something wrong with the drink. i know it, but how?
Inasmuch as I have no experience with dating on my own side of the aisle, what makes a story of this sort work (or fail) for me is the plausibility of the response by the pony being approached. Twilight is clearly unnerved; however, she trusts that the Princess will do the right thing and not force the issue. This, to me, is a very Twilight response, and for me, it's enough to justify voting it up.
(Note: I have not read a lot of these as yet. Is there a worthy effort in which Celestia, in Veylon's phrase, really isn't terribly good about relationships?)
You should totally write an alternate joke ending with Molestia.
An interesting take on Twilestia. It was well-written, but I have to echo the commenters who say Celestia didn't seem in-character here. I have to imagine a being of her age and wisdom wouldn't obliviously go down the checklist from "Dating Advice 101". Why couldn't she tell that Twilight wasn't interested right away? It made the whole thing unbelievable.
I spotted one mistake:
"Nice and relaxing for my student and I..." -> "and me..."
Please, go on. I know this was a one-shot, but I really want to know how this turns out. There aren't many Twilestia fics that with this outcome.
I'm guessing Celestia wasn't supposed to come off as an extremely creepy and immature stalker? It's just not Celestia, in any way shape or form. Is there a level of satire that I'm oblivious to?
A story where Twilight is straight...
Wow, don't see many of those!
I have to echo Varanus comments mostly. I was half expecting this to be a Trollestia fic where at some point she'd scream out "JUST KIDDING," because it all went so fast and came out of nowhere. A bit more Celestia background would be nice, I think.
Twilight came across realistic and believable, though I thought her "You don't have free time" reason was a bit bitchy and out of place. Here you have a pony who pretty much lives for the wellbeing of other ponies, and Twilight is saying she can't be a suitable lover (not only to Twi, but in general) because of that. Sounds a little unthankful and insulting.
For the rest it was written very well and also original (to me, at least).
As tempting as it is to leave a paragraph long critique, I think that everyone has already said what can be said, so brief summary; Celestia comes off as rushing in with abandon, I like how Twilight just had to say her barn door didn't swing that way, and yeah.
Well there's something you don't see every day; a shipping story in which one actually turns the other down in the end!
763525
Oh, no, it was supposed to be laughably creepy and transparent.
763592
It's a valid point, though. What kind of relationship is it when you only get to spend an hour or two a day with each other?
I actually thought this was a really good fic and I really liked how Twilight actually rejected Celestia instead of it being the other way around like is more commonplace in these kinds of fics.
bah!
It was a good read, and I'll like it because i respect it, but I felt it was rather shallow. The entire time I was expecting some big drop that would really end up wrenching my heart, but I guess I just wasn't feeling it at the end. I felt like it really could have had so much more depth.
And then twilight forgot that she cant hold her liquor and did unspeekable things with the celestial goddess. THE END!!
Finally, a romance that doesn't end up being cheap and clichèd. Good job, feels very real.
i've never really like shipping but, atleast it's not as bad as clop. Anyway, great story, dude.
Huh, no alicornization?
Anyway, nice anti-ship!