Lavender on White
Her amethyst eyes fluttered open as Celestia's internal clock told her it was time to raise the sun. She was groggy at first, but as her mind cleared, her plans for the day flooded back to her. Hopping out of bed, she shook herself off, then stepped behind her bed and went out onto the balcony.
She took a deep breath of morning air, smelling the crisp mountain side and fresh, dew-laden grass. It was her favorite time of day, when the sun was about to rise and Equestria was just beginning to wake. Closing her eyes, she focused her magic into her horn, which glowed a vibrant gold. On the horizon, the fiery orb crawled up and began following its course.
Celestia smiled, now gazing upon her country bathed in orange. “Today is going to be splendid.”
Walking back inside, she approached her desk and took a seat on the large, overstuffed cushion in front of it. In front of her rested a calendar that took up most of the surface of the desk, and each day had a multitude of activities scribbled . There was one day, though, that was blank except for a single word: Twilight.
“Today’s the big day,” she hummed, leaning down and opening one of the drawers. From it, she withdrew a scroll. The parchment unfurled to reveal a list of items that had yet to be checked off, but that was about to be changed. Celestia took a quill and dipped it in the nearby inkpot, then looked to a miniature cabinet sitting upon her desk. It held several necklaces and decorative trinkets, yet there was one item her eyes focused on. With a light smile, she marked off one item of the list.
She rolled the scroll back up and started to stand, but her eyes caught a letter on the opposite side of the desk. Celestia recognized it as Twilight’s most recent friendship report. Setting herself back down, she took the report and started to read over it. “Oh, Twilight, my student... you’ve grown so much since you left. I just don’t know where I would be without you.”
The statement was meant in earnest, for Twilight and her friends had been there where Celestia had failed. Twilight had proved to be loyal and faithful, and that was exactly what Celestia needed.
Rolling the letter back up, she floated it over to a small chest and tucked it away with many other tied scrolls. Each and every one was proof of Twilight’s love and devotion, and each new one made Celestia’s days all the brighter.
Now, it was time for Celestia to show that she truly cared.
Taking her list with her, she began to prepare for the day ahead. There was much to be done still, and everything had to be perfect. The first order of business was to go to the castle cellar. There was a particular bottle of champagne she had her eye on.
- - -
Twilight Sparkle stood on the Canterlot train platform with her violet mane fluttering in the breeze. On her back were a pair of saddlebags, and one of the flaps hung open. In front of her, encased in a deep magenta aura, was an unfurled note. Her eyes scanned over it as she tried to make sense of the text.
My Dearest Twilight,
Please come to Canterlot as soon as you can. It’s very important! Also, I hope you enjoyed the flowers.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
“What does she mean? I hope it’s nothing serious,” Twilight mumbled, rolling the letter back up and tucking it away. The last thing she needed was another Discord or Nightmare Moon incident. With a light sigh, Twilight stepped through the gates and began walking towards the castle. As she stepped through the city, she couldn’t help but think of the lilacs the princess had sent her.
A short walk through the residential district later, Twilight found herself just outside the entrance to Canterlot Castle. The wooden drawbridge was lowered, and two stallion guards stood in their positions at each side of the bridge. The only acknowledgement they gave the purple pony was a faint nod as she passed between them, and then they returned to their stone-like stances.
As Twilight entered the main hall, she couldn’t help but notice the lack of guards or other ponies. Usually there were at least a couple nobles lingering around, either awaiting an audience or on some other official business. To see the castle so empty was disconcerting. Her nervous thoughts were put to rest, though, when she heard soft hooftsteps echo through the halls. Looking to the origin of the noise, Twilight found none other than Celestia descending the steps, with a playful spring in her step.
“Greetings, Twilight!” Celestia said, meeting her student at the base of the stairway. “I’m quite pleased you made it to the castle with such haste.” With a light flick, she brushed a bit of her ethereal mane.
“Well, you did say it was important,” Twilight replied, with a slight smile.
“So, did you get the flowers I sent?” the princess asked, with a wider than normal grin. Twilight couldn’t put her hoof on it, but something was off about her today. She appeared too happy to see her prized student. Sure, Celestia was always happy to see her, but never like this. Smiling, practically bouncing in place, and having sent flowers beforehoof. It was all very strange.
So, she did the only thing she could and played along. “Why yes, I did. They were very beautiful, and they smelled great. How did you know they were my favorite?”
“Oh, I suppose it was just a good guess... and a bit of alicorn wisdom,” she added, with a wink.
Twilight looked up. Celestia was wearing a pair of earrings today, shaped like the sun with a small rubies inlaid in their centers. Judging by their luster and shine, they were probably real gold, too. Twilight couldn’t remember a time where the princess had ever worn jewelry besides her tiara, ornate horseshoes and chest piece.
Before she could think about it, Celestia spoke again. “So, now that you’re here, why don’t we walk together?” With that, the princess turned and looked back to Twilight, waiting for her to come beside her.
“Of course.” Twilight nodded and began to follow alongside Celestia. It wasn’t until they reached the top of the steps that Twilight decided to ask about the letter. “So, princess-”
Celestia was quick to raise a wing and silence her student. With a sly grin, she said “Please, there’s no need to be so formal. Call me Celly.”
Twilight could only look to her mentor and gulp. “Uh, okay. If you insist, pr-” A sideways glance from Celestia made her catch her imminent slip-up. “Celly.” She spoke slowly and had to force her lips to make the sounds. The princess seemed pleased, though, so her effort had been acceptable. “So, Celly... what was so important that you needed me to come to Canterlot?”
Celestia looked to Twilight and gave a cheeky grin. “Oh, I just wanted to spend some quality time with my favorite student is all.” She then turned forward and began to hum an unrecognizable tune, bouncing lightly in time with the music.
“I—so, nothing serious is going on?” Twilight tried to mask the dumbfounded look on her face. She had come all the way here because the princess wanted to see her? Nothing was threatening the safety of the world as they knew it? There were no monsters to fight or curses to break or ancient texts to study? That couldn’t be right. Surely, Celestia was joking.
“Nothing at all! In fact, Equestria is the most peaceful it’s been in many years.” Celestia gave a wink, then added, “And I’m sure you had something to do with that, dear Twilight.”
Twilight could only blink and look forward, still trying to grasp the idea that she had been summoned and rushed to Canterlot for nothing more than a meeting with Celestia. She furrowed her brows in thought. There has to be a reason I’m here... but what?
Before she could think about it more, a shadow came over her and she felt the touch of feathers at her side. They pressed against her and pushed her closer to the princess. Looking up, she saw Celestia keeping her pace as she nonchalantly wrapped a wing around Twilight. A chill went through the purple mare’s spine, despite feeling the warmth of Celestia’s wing.
She flashed Celestia a grin before pushing the wing away and taking a step to the side. Celestia glanced at Twilight and gave a soft frown, but after a few moments was back to her cheery demeanor. “So!” she piped up, looking down to Twilight. “About your most recent friendship report, did Rainbow Dash and Applejack ever get that fight sorted out?”
Suddenly, things began to click together.
The flowers; the attitude; the earrings; touching her mane and wrapping a wing around her; asking about the last thing they talked about. These were all things Twilight had been told to do in Dating Advice 101, for when you had feelings for somepony but didn’t want to tell them. She silently cursed herself for not seeing earlier, and now it was too late. There was only one option, and it would be a long shot.
“Actually, they didn’t!” She said, looking to Celestia with wide eyes. “In fact, I think I needed to talk with them today!” Twilight then chuckled, “You know how those two can get sometimes.” Taking a step back, she did a half turn. “So, you know, I should probably get back to Ponyville and help them out. I mean it was nice seeing you, Celly, but they could use my he-”
“Oh, nonsense, Twilight,” the princess interrupted, encasing Twilight in a gold aura and turning her back. “I’m sure those two can handle one afternoon by themselves, don’t you think?”
With a gulp, Twilight put on false grin and said, “Heh, I suppose they can.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” Celestia began to walk again, with Twilight having no choice but to follow her. “Besides, you should take some time and relax. I’m sure you’re very busy, are you not?”
“I guess I am,” Twilight said, forcing a smile. By this point, they had reached a stain-glass door that led outside, which Celestia had already walked through. Twilight followed behind her, quickly finding herself in the midsts of the royal Canterlot gardens. Here, flora and fauna from all around Equestria existed, and many hailed it as one of the most beautiful places in the world.
“Ah, the royal garden,” Celestia mused, breathing in the garden air. She stepped lightly along the stone path that guided visitors through the scenic landscape. The princess then turned to Twilight, who was walking quietly along next to her. “Did you know that the royal garden is one of the most romantic places to go? At least, that's what I keep hearing.”
She was right, of course. Couples were always frequenting the gardens, and it was a surprisingly common place for ponies to propose to their mates in. However, today it was quieter than normal. “Yeah, I did know that,” Twilight said looking around the garden. “Aren’t there usually more ponies here?”
Celestia chuckled, then said “Oh, usually, yes. However, I had the gardens reserved today. It’s just you and me, Twilight.”
“Oh. Uh, great,” Twilight replied, feeling the hairs on her neck prick up. “It’s... It’s a very beautiful garden, that’s for sure.” Continuing their walk, Twilight began to observe the types of plants around them. They had moved into a section that comprised of many varieties of flower, from roses to lilies to petunias to— “Lilac.”
There, off to the side, was a fresh bed of purple flowers that swayed in the light breeze. Now she knew where her bouquet had come from.
“So, Twilight, I’ve been consulting with my gardeners on a new flowerbed. However, I value your opinion greatly, so I would like your input as well.” Celestia motioned to an area of tilled dirt surrounded by decorative fencing. “Now, I’ve been considering either a combination of yellow rose and chrysanthemum, or the slightly more exotic lunar tulip, mixed with snow daffodils. What do you think?”
Twilight pondered the question, but her mind was focusing elsewhere. She blinked a few times before saying “Oh, uh, lunar tulips are nice.”
“I was thinking that as well. I suppose I’ll have to go out and find some, then.”
Now, they had reached the opposite side of the garden and the exit out. Celestia opened the door and stepped inside with Twilight, only to go across the hall to a pair of large double doors with Celestia’s cutie mark emblazoned on the wood. There was no noticeable methods of opening them, until the princess’s horn began to glow. With a low creak, they swung inwards, revealing a dim room.
“Please, step inside.” Celestia waved a hoof. The protege's violet eyes darted from the princess to the room, and after a moment, she gave a sigh and walked in.
From the looks of things, this was Celestia’s personal chamber. A great bed stood at the end of the room, with large windows around it in an arc. However, flowing maroon curtains which had been drawn over them. They served their purpose of blocking the day, as the only other light source in the room were many candles spread about, along with a ornate chandelier, it’s flames flickering and casting shadows along the floor and ceiling.
The candles were of various scents, which blended together to form an inviting aroma. Twilight could pick up hints of lavender and the trace of vanilla in the mix. Stepping into the room, she could swear she felt petals under her hooves, but didn’t want to check to see what kind. In her mind, though, she knew they were rose. Then, Twilight’s eyes trailed to the foot of the bed, where a silver vase sat. Poking from the top of it was the neck of a bottle, and the fine mist permeating from the opening of the container told her there was ice in it.
“Oh no.”
“Oh yes!” Celestia chimed in, walking past Twilight. Behind them, the telltale sound of two doors closing reverberated. The princess then walked in front of Twilight and motioned around. “Well? What do you think?”
“It’s uh,” Twilight looked around and frowned. “It’s relaxing.”
Seemingly unaware of Twilight’s mood, Celestia nodded and turned around, looking over the room. “That’s just what I was hoping. Nice and relaxing for my student and I.” She then stepped to the bed and climbed on it, shifting around until she was comfortable. Celestia turned her head to Twilight and patted the area next to her. “Come, Twilight. Have a seat. Enjoy yourself.”
Twilight took one last look to the closed doors before sighing, setting her bags aside and walking forward. She put on a smile, but each step was tentative and forced. A multitude of thoughts spun through her head, most dedicated to what was going to happen in the following moments, and more importantly, what she was going to tell Celestia.
Twilight crawled onto the bed and took her place next to the alicorn, but at a comfortable distance. She looked up to the princess, who merely smiled back. Then, both of their faces became illuminated by the glow of Celestia’s horn. From the ice filled vase came the bottle, plugged with a crude looking cork and containing a bright, golden liquid. Champagne. Celestia brought the bottle near her face and looked over it with approval.
“You wouldn’t guess it, but this bottle of champagne is over a thousand years old. It’s been around since before the Nightmare Moon incident, and I’ve been keeping a close watch over it ever since.” She floated the bottle near Twilight so she could get a good look at it. “I’ve been saving for a very special occasion.” She then brought the bottle back to her, where her eyes scanned the label for a moment. “In fact, this bottle was-”
“Princess, please. Just... just stop.”
Celestia look up in alarm and turned to Twilight, who had one hoof covering her face and the other held up in silence. The princess glanced around and gave a light laugh. “Twilight, dear, is something wrong?”
Twilight sighed and shook her head. “I know what you’re trying to do, Princess.” She then looked to Celestia and hardened her gaze. “And I’m sorry, but I have to decline.”
Celestia’s magic faltered for the briefest second as the bottle of champagne fell a small distance before being snatched back up in a faint gold aura. A gulp came from the deity as she looked to her student. “I... Whatever do you mean, Twilight?”
Twilight’s brows knitted before she continued. “I’ve seen all the signs, princess. The earrings, the compliments, your general mood,” She then motioned to the rest of the room. “And all of this.” Turning back to Celestia, she said “I think it’s fairly obvious what you’re trying to tell me, and I hate to say it, but I’m just not that kind of mare.”
“But Twilight, we’ve known each for so long. I’ve looked after you since you were but a filly, and I’ve taken much consideration into this,” Celestia said, the smile fading from her face.
“I know you must have, princess, but... things just wouldn’t work between us.”
Celestia’s mood changed to that of desperation as she opened her mouth to say something. On the third attempt, she croaked “Well, why not?”
Twilight brought a hoof to her mouth and cleared her throat, as if preparing for a lecture. “For one, you are thousands of years old and are practically a goddess. No matter what, you are going to outlive me, princess. Even if you could cast some sort of spell to make me live longer, it would make no difference at the end. I would still pass on before the first signs of aging appeared.”
The princess gave a slight nod and stayed quiet, so Twilight continued. “Second, you are far too busy to be involved in a serious relationship. My years of growing up around the castle have shown me that. Every day, you are constantly attending to royal matters and keeping Equestria in check. Even if you put your sister in charge of some duties, you still wouldn’t be able to give a lover the appropriate amount of time.”
Another nod.
“Finally, I’m... well,” Twilight’s cheeks began to turn a bright crimson as she averted her gaze and looked downwards. “I’m what you would consider straight.” After a brief pause, she took a breath and looked back to the princess with as much dignity as she could muster. “So, it wouldn’t work in that regard. And I’d like to be a mother someday. Only a stallion can help me accomplish that, so, I’m sorry.”
“I see.” Celestia murmured, lowering her head and looking down at her forelegs. The two of them remained silent, with the only noise being the flickering of the candles and the soft swaying of the princesses mane. In the dim light, Twilight could make out Celestia’s eyes beginning to glisten.
“Oh, no, no, no,” Twilight started, reaching a hoof out. The princess was quick to raise her own, halting Twilight’s movement.
“Please, Twilight,” Celestia whispered, closing her eyes. “I need a moment to collect myself.” Twilight pulled back her hoof, hurt, but not as hurt as she knew Celestia was. While she had no dating experience of her own, she had read enough advice books and novels about the subject to understand that a great blow had just been dealt to the princess's heart. Twilight would need to plan her next words with care and consideration.
She waited several moments, giving both Celestia time to reflect and herself time to think of what to say. Finally, she took a breath, then began to speak in a soft, caring tone. “Princess, I know you’re feeling hurt right now, and I’m sorry for that, but it isn’t all bad.”
Celestia opened her eyes partway and glanced to Twilight, but remained silent.
“Even though I don’t love you as a partner,” Twilight said, shifting over a bit and placing her hoof on Celestia’s own, “I still love you as a teacher, a mentor, and a great friend.”
After several moments of silence, Celestia finally said, “Go on.”
“We’ve known each other so long that we’ve formed a special kind of bond together. You’re like a second mother to me, Princess, and I care for you very deeply, just not the same way you care for me.” She gave Celestia a pleading look. “Surely, with your years of wisdom, you understand that?”
The princess brought a hoof to her face and wiped her eyes, revealing a smile as she rested it on the bed. “I didn’t expect the evening to go like this, but... I suppose I’m glad to have asked now rather than later. It would have pained me more had I waited longer.” She then took a breath and continued. “And Twilight, I thank you for being honest with me. There are few ponies who would turn down a princess, so your bravery is appreciated.”
Twilight let out a sigh of relief and rubbed her brow. “I’m glad you understand.”
“Now, do not misinterpret me. Just because I’m smiling on the outside doesn’t mean I’m content on the inside. It will take some time for me to accept your decision and come to terms with the disappointment,” Celestia added, her look briefly becoming stern.
Twilight's smile faded and her voice lowered to a murmur. “I understand.”
Another silence fell over the two as they had run out of things to say. Twilight had made her stance clear and Celestia had confessed her pain. There was nothing more that needed to be said. One problem that had gone unresolved, though, was the bottle. A cold drop on her leg caused the sun princess to perk up and look to the container. Beads of water were condensing on the surface and sliding to the bottom of the cold glass.
Celestia glanced from the bottle to Twilight several times, then asked “Twilight, would you still like to share this bottle with me?”
Twilight blinked a few times, surprised at the question. “I... Are you sure? I thought you were going to save it for something special.”
“This is special.” Celestia smiled and brought out two champagne glasses from behind the vase, then floated one in front of Twilight, who took it in her own aura. She effortlessly uncorked the bottle, which gave off a fine mist. Tipping it to her student’s glass, she filled it part way, then did the same to her own. Finally, she set the bottle back in the ice.
Celestia lightly sighed and began to tip the glass to her mouth, but paused. “We should perform a toast,” she said, lowering the glass. Motioning to Twilight, she asked, “Would you care to do the honor?”
Twilight thought for a moment, looking to her mentor. Even though things hadn’t turned out as planned, they were still there for each other. They did not harbor any negative feelings, and they still cared for each other like mother and daughter. Celestia would always be there for guidance and support, and Twilight would always be there for learning and training.
“To the greatest of teachers,” the student said, with a soft smile.
“To the most faithful of students,” the mentor replied, returning the gesture.
Then, they tapped glasses together and drank.
Yay!
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Another story of Alexstrazsa? I'm going to read this right now!
EDIT: After reading - I liked it! A wonderful story, maybe a tad too short, but that's just my opinion. Thumbs up from me!
One my favorite (I don't read stories either way) authors writes a story?! Insta-fav. I feel like a fangirl all over like the Harry Potter fans... So this is how it feels?
Anyways... I feel scared to read on to the second chapter... alcohol is never a good sign
A Twilight/Celestia fic that ISN'T shipping?! What blasphemy is this?!
I kid, I kid. Seriously, this one-shot is full of d'aww. Usually, though, things happen the other way around. Twilight tries to confess to Celestia. Nice to see a little reversal on this.
752834
It was a one-shot. Sorry bud!
752858
Eh, it was a hit or a miss, I guess. Seems like when I try to be funny I can't. D:
752885
Fair enough, I'll switch it to Normal.
This was awesome. I laughed hard. I never knew it was so much fun to read about it instead of experiencing it.
This what I imagine would happen if one of them fell for the other. Still, I can dream.
... I like to imagine a much different scenario, but this was a nice story.
I was really hoping Twilight would say yes, but I find that the ending was very satisfying. Far too many shipfics end with them having the perfect relationship (I do this too much), so it's nice to see the occasional one that shows a more realistic approach.
A twilestia shipfic where they dont end head to haunches by the fouth paragraph? I daresay this is a breath of fresh air.
GET KINKY YEAH!!!!!!!
752882
Good... good....
I'm a little torn on this. On the one hand, I praise your originality for writing a shipping story that doesn't take off because one of the party isn't interested. You even made the most important reason be "I'm just not into other mares," which, arguably, is all the reason needed (I've long been of the opinion that Celestia must have gotten over the immortal thing years ago - better to have loved and lost than never at all, as they say. But I've no doubt Twilight might mistake it for an issue, and Celestia certainly didn't seem convinced, so no protest here for mentioning it).
On the other hand, I can't help but feel it's to short, too linear, to explore what you're trying to explore. I dunno if you were trying to play with the "Twilight gets summoned for Twilestia shenanigans" set-up that a lot of Twilestia stories have, but the whole idea of Celestia summoning Twilight to the castle in order to romance her opens a whole can of worms of Twi being under duress and abuse of authority by Celestia. Which is part of the reason that I'm torn - while I'd imagine someone as wise as Celestia would be more careful about this if she wanted to pursue a relationship, I gotta commend Twilight since she really tackled the issue well, calmly but firmly explaining her feelings on the matter in the climax of the story.
It's clear Celestia is rather excited. The letter doesn't actually carry any explicit order, but it does ask her to come directly to her. Likewise she's very flirty, to the point it makes Twilight uncomfortable. My question throughout all this - why is she so excited, so sure that Twilight will reciprocate? She's had a long time to consider this, but what changed? What prompted this that encouraged Celestia to be so forward in her attempt here? It just doesn't seem like her to throw caution to the wind and try this strategy (Again, my bias is clear, considering the title of my own Twilestia fic). It's possible Celestia has a great motivation, but she never voices it, so to the reader it seems like she's arbitrarily thrown off her wisdom/common sense and consideration for Twilight's feelings in order to act like a lovestruck cougar used to getting what she wants. I could definitely see Rarity doing this, perhaps even Luna, but Celestia? It's a hard sell.
On the whole, I applaud your portrayal of Twilight, but remain unconvinced by your portrayal of Celestia. The climax was great, but we're never given a reason for Celestia's out of behaviour actions. I'm really worried that Celestia was written like that to justify the climax, which would be disappointing since I don't see that as necessary to reach that lovely conclusion of the tale.
753528
Thank you very much for the thoughtful comment! First, thank you for the compliments. Going into this, I wasn't really sure how I would do because I've never written a story like this before, so It's good to see that I got part of it right. As for your criticism, I agree that it was too short. See, this was for a little event I was participating in, and the idea was to write a fic that was less than 10k and use a prompt. Now, if I wanted to, I could take this idea and bring it multiple chapters and flesh things out - especially Celestia. Thinking back, I realize I probably should have started it off with Celestia doing some planning so that I could show her side of the story and better justify how she's acting. I was trying to portray that she's very excited and giddy because she's been waiting to do this, and the day has finally come, so she can't wait to finally explain her feelings.
Of course, you, the reader, wouldn't know that last part. The explanation for it is definitely something to consider adding in.
753586
Ah, a challenge fic, was it? I couldn't tell, such was the quality, bravo.
I can totally get behind Celestia being giddy over finally confessing to Twilight, on a number of levels - one, everyone loves happy Celestia, two, it lets the reader understand her motivations and gets us to root for her, and three, gives the reader a bigger punch in the gut in the subversion when Twilight denies her. She'd need some strong reasons to mistakenly believe Twilight feels the same, of course, to go with such powerfully romantic gestures.
As an addendum, if you're considering a tweak her and there I might avoid mentioning "I've looked after you since you were a filly" and the like, as that's another can of worms that doesn't need to be opened. Might I recommend her feelings began to bloom as Twilight did, during the season when she became an independent mare? Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all.
Huh, ship-that-isn't, except it's not written as a rabid anti-shipping story with rabid hateful sentiment, but simply- huh.
Okay, this was very, very different, and it was also well written. I hitched (in a good way) on some phrasings, some little bits where you have good variance, and I like that, but as far as the overall arc goes, I think I have to echo what's been said before here; the length kind of hurts it.
Don't get me wrong here - I liked reading it, it was worthwhile, and the hooves-up is heartfelt. The idea behind the emotional payload is supreme, and the general way that Twilight treats it - as well as the very end - is well done, to me. I just feel it could've perhaps benefitted from a longer buildup (somepony commented on Celly PoV first perhaps?) and making Celly's approach to this, well, hm.
I am aware that Celly's characterization in pure canon, combined with her status as a near-goddess (as you say) makes any attempts at attributing her with a hard canon approach to the situation impossible. All the same, she seems a little more flimsy and frail than I would have thought her; you could easily have emphasized how she's out of touch with things due to her status, as an alternative.
That may just be personal preference, though. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the TwiLestia interactions here, at all. I like how you handle the crux of the conversation, too. The length "issue" (if it can be called such a thing) is the only thing I feel reasonably sure about - it simply feels too short to harvest this payload.
Well done though! I could never write anything like this. I'm bad at short fics, and, well, not shipping? You be crazy, pony! (I kid.)
I was going to make several comments but Varanus deftly handled most of my issues with the story. My only remaining criticism involves Twilight's "Not enough free time" reason. I have problems with this on two levels. 1. Over the +1000 years of Equestrian history the society hasn't developed a governing hierarchy to handle a good number of decisions that must be made on a daily basis. Add in the fact that she ruled alone for a 1000 years I have a hard time believe that between her sister, the Royal Guard, and various other representatives(Mayors exist so I'm assuming there might even be governors?) that they wouldn't be to handle Celestia in a diminished role. 2. It implies that she's not entitled to have what other ponies have a real "life". Everyone else is allowed to have someone to love and hold them but not you is a pretty harsh statement.
753748
It helps that those are Twilight's reasons for why she believes the relationship couldn't work, and might not necessarily reflect the reality of the situation. Both it and the first reasons could be argued with, and Celestia certainly seemed ready to refute them. However, the third reason is the inarguable one - Twilight just isn't attracted to her. The relationship could never happen in this context, so it isn't needed in this story to dispute the other issues - which is why I said it was the only reason that was needed.
753671
I'm guessing Twilight looking up to her and always trying to do her best doesn't quite cut it, hehe. Also, I've removed that line. You raised a good point.
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Thanks for the comment! I'm really considering adding a scene at the beginning to help with Celestia's emotions about things, which will either make the fic better or worse depending on how I write it. Hopefully better.
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Well, in my head I was just thinking how as soon as Celestia wakes, she probably spends most, if not all of her waking hours doing something, whether it be holding court, disputing claims, foreign relations, etc. A lot of important political stuff that requires her constant attention. Of course, as you said, her staff could most likely handle things if she gave up some responsibilities. However, that's just one of the reasons Twilight brings up, even if it is harsh.
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Well, always admiring her is a good start, but let's not forget that Twilight saved her sister Luna from the corruption of Nightmare Moon; defeated Discord, the only being that could frighten her; and boldly took on an army of changelings without a moment's hesitation - all the while is being a good conversationalist who appreciates history and magic, and relishes Celestia's company for who she is rather than the crown on her head, as seen in Best Night Ever.
Twilight is a prodigy and likely one of the most important heroes to Equestria ever. I'd say that's enough to make anyone pause and take another look, don't you?
There was love potion in that wine.
images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw246_celestia%20smirk.png
754409
Shoot, you figured me out real quick. Now the super secret sequel is ruined forever!
Not bad. Some grammar errors that drew me out of things, but hey, we were all on a limited time period. If given more time to breathe and the setup more time to become creepy (although "Celestia coming on strong" does have its own sense of creepiness, I'd think she'd go for a more subtle approach rather than blundering in), I could see this having a nice effect overall. Right now it feels a bit rushed, but in terms of our little contest, well done.
Wow! Was not expecting that ending.
Good job though!
754409 Is "love potion" equestrian for rohypnol?
Actually, makes a lot more sence than Twilestia fics. Reminded me of "Interference" , similar idea. And I just adore 'anti-shipping' . When one party just isn't interested and other can accept that. Can you write similar story with Octavia and Vinyl Scratch?
I have to feel sad for Celestia, but this is a great story.
While I can appreciate a story of this nature that lacks the usual venom and vitriol common to the anti-shipping fic, I can't help but feel that this whole thing is more than a little contrived. Wouldn't have Celestia known Twilight isn't into mares by now? She is centuries old, the ruler of Equestria and Twilight's mentor and friend, so you'd think she would know how to pick up on things like that. Furthermore, why didn't she confirm that Twilight was into mares first before coming on to her? Again, given her age and rank, you'd think she would know to err on the side of caution by now, regardless of her personal feelings. Varanus has already voiced the rest my issues with the story better than I could have so I guess I'll leave it at that.
onesided Twilestia shipping ohgod how do react
TwiLestia is my head cannon, but if the pairing ends up otherwise, this is what happens.
NOOOO
TWILIGHT
HOW COULD YOU REJECT HER
You evil. evil. creature
As much as Twilestia is my OTL, it's good to see a writer who understands their relationship isn't about sex. Celestia can get that from any yes-mare and it would be step down in character for Twilight to just meekly submit to her ruler's desires.
Still, it does feel a bit short and Celestia's out of character. It'd be one thing if Celestia's wasn't terribly good about relationships, but she seems too self-assured in this fic for that to be the case. OTOH, you said this was intended to be a short one-shot, so this is more of a nitpick.
something wrong with the drink. i know it, but how?
Inasmuch as I have no experience with dating on my own side of the aisle, what makes a story of this sort work (or fail) for me is the plausibility of the response by the pony being approached. Twilight is clearly unnerved; however, she trusts that the Princess will do the right thing and not force the issue. This, to me, is a very Twilight response, and for me, it's enough to justify voting it up.
(Note: I have not read a lot of these as yet. Is there a worthy effort in which Celestia, in Veylon's phrase, really isn't terribly good about relationships?)
You should totally write an alternate joke ending with Molestia.
An interesting take on Twilestia. It was well-written, but I have to echo the commenters who say Celestia didn't seem in-character here. I have to imagine a being of her age and wisdom wouldn't obliviously go down the checklist from "Dating Advice 101". Why couldn't she tell that Twilight wasn't interested right away? It made the whole thing unbelievable.
I spotted one mistake:
"Nice and relaxing for my student and I..." -> "and me..."
Please, go on. I know this was a one-shot, but I really want to know how this turns out. There aren't many Twilestia fics that with this outcome.
I'm guessing Celestia wasn't supposed to come off as an extremely creepy and immature stalker? It's just not Celestia, in any way shape or form. Is there a level of satire that I'm oblivious to?
A story where Twilight is straight...
Wow, don't see many of those!
I have to echo Varanus comments mostly. I was half expecting this to be a Trollestia fic where at some point she'd scream out "JUST KIDDING," because it all went so fast and came out of nowhere. A bit more Celestia background would be nice, I think.
Twilight came across realistic and believable, though I thought her "You don't have free time" reason was a bit bitchy and out of place. Here you have a pony who pretty much lives for the wellbeing of other ponies, and Twilight is saying she can't be a suitable lover (not only to Twi, but in general) because of that. Sounds a little unthankful and insulting.
For the rest it was written very well and also original (to me, at least).
As tempting as it is to leave a paragraph long critique, I think that everyone has already said what can be said, so brief summary; Celestia comes off as rushing in with abandon, I like how Twilight just had to say her barn door didn't swing that way, and yeah.
Well there's something you don't see every day; a shipping story in which one actually turns the other down in the end!
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Oh, no, it was supposed to be laughably creepy and transparent.
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It's a valid point, though. What kind of relationship is it when you only get to spend an hour or two a day with each other?
I actually thought this was a really good fic and I really liked how Twilight actually rejected Celestia instead of it being the other way around like is more commonplace in these kinds of fics.
bah!
It was a good read, and I'll like it because i respect it, but I felt it was rather shallow. The entire time I was expecting some big drop that would really end up wrenching my heart, but I guess I just wasn't feeling it at the end. I felt like it really could have had so much more depth.
And then twilight forgot that she cant hold her liquor and did unspeekable things with the celestial goddess. THE END!!
Finally, a romance that doesn't end up being cheap and clichèd. Good job, feels very real.
i've never really like shipping but, atleast it's not as bad as clop. Anyway, great story, dude.
Huh, no alicornization?
Anyway, nice anti-ship!