First !!Wow I was going to do something like this , but it seems you

bet me ! I wonder how Dash feels about this?

I congratulate you on your interesting idea for a shipfic! I shall now read it.

EDIT:

Not bad, has potential. Need to work on your grammar a bit. Noticed some missing commas, misspelled words, and other mishaps here and there.

Like the tone of the story and I will enjoy reading more of it later on.

Overall I thought this was a nice start. I have two complaints though:

1) Several grammatical errors throughout the story (the first one happens 2 words in; it should be "Three pegasi" not "Three Pegasus"

2) The way it's written suggests that there are only three Wonderbolts,but there's definitely more than three of them in the show. Here's six:

Image: http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110804233024/mlp/images/thumb/1/1e/Wonderbolts_make_an_appearance.png/743px-Wonderbolts_make_an_appearance.png

With that being said, I do like the premise of it and I'm curious to see where it goes.

Soarin/Pinkie...  

...

...

...

...

Consider me intrigued.

YEEEEEEEEEEES!

You had me at the description!

Edit: Not bad. I'll keep an eye on this.

And that plothole GreyCapstan pointed out is kind of big, but then again, maybe they're doing shows that only require three Wonderbolts?

Either way, could do with some tweaking.

Automatic favorite.

Pretty epic story so far

Yay, some SoarinPie

>>744990744990

ahh thanks for that, Often only see three, like at the Gala you only see the 2 named and one unnamed one which I called Twister :D

still thanks for the info.

>>744821744821

I wonder indeed.

this is awesome, somehow i imagine twister having an australian accent, not sure why though

>>746178746178

Can of beer healing wounds might be the cause.

>>746179746179 mostly yeah, but when i was reading it, even before that line, in my head i kept hearing australian, that line just cut off all doubt

>>746183746183

I dunno, Australian doesn't seem a bad fit. Maybe have the accent chase has from House.

So surprised how popular this story has been, wish My HiE was more popular lol :D

>>744945744945 yeah, he always has had trouble with grammar, but nothing other than that really, aside from the grammar, gcsmith is an amazing author, and has even inspired me to be better at my own writing, plus he's inspired me to start reading fan fics for youtube, like mic the microphone does

>>746194746194 well the thing is, hie stories are never all that popular, even the really really good ones, like the EqD worthy ones, not sure why though, could just be the fact  that they always follow the same plot lines, mostly romance, there's hardly ever any kind of adventure hie stories, its kind of a shame

speaking of which, i just snagged an idea out of my brain for an adventure hie story, with all oc characters, it'll be a bitch to write, but hey, it'll be something new

oh and dont EVER discredit yourself, artemis is awesome, and im really looking forward to the next chapter

>>746209746209

Heh, well EQD wont accept mine so I wont send it in.

And I have removed the romance and more adventure will be coming.

Either way Glad your liking this story, having to put out chapter two soon since this story is far more popular than I thought it would be.

>>746213746213

1.) eqd doesnt take unfinished stories anyway, so finish it so we can be happy

2.) i did notice the adventure starting to poke its head out, keep it up

3.) everyone loves a good shipfic, especially when its a mane 6 with a non mane 6, at least i do anyway, never liked any of the appledash, or pinkieshy kinda ships

>>746225746225

Well personally while I may read a mane 6/mane 6 fic, Ill never write a same sex shipping. So non mane 6 is all I have to work with.

And EQD do take unfinished stories, hence the story updates postings, just my HiE has him being mentioned watching the show so they wont accept it.

1 word:

MOAR!!

>>746250746250

In the middle of writing chapter 2 as we speak

Oh ho this was good.  Chapter 1 was pretty good but this was a lot better.   I laughed more than once while reading it.  Moar please?

I like it. I dont think I have ever seen a soarin pie ship before

I've only seen the Soarin' x Pinkie Pie ship done a few times in fan art. As for Rainbow- shit happens. Pinkie in an inclosed area with snobs, we all know where this is going. It's like throwing a lit packet of fire crackers in a room of Vietnam war veterans with post traumatic stress disorder, It'll be funny and wrong at the same time.

Reading the summary and thinking "yeah he does"

>>746990746990

?

Thanks for all the lovely comments guys, wasn't meant to be a reguarlly updated story, but you got me working on chapter three already, instead of my doctor whooves or Artemis stories.

wander if I should submit this to EQD :p

>>746252746252 thats good :)

>>748213748213

?

>>748240748240 That youre writing chapter 2 as we speak?

>>748278748278

uploaded now

>>748282748282 i just realised when i read it

>>748305748305 :p

Hope you enjoy it, wondering if I should submit the story to EQD after I fix chapter 1 grammer

It's nice to see Soarin shipped with someone other than Braeburn, Spitfire, Applejack, or Rainbow Dash.

Yay! I was sort of hoping that they were going see pinkie and rainbow when they watched the DvD but I guess it would probably be  more like a reenactment and possibly somewhat embellished like many of our "based on a true story" movies.

>>746178746178 If you read it it probably because he said mate .

>>748989748989>>BRAEBURN !!!!!!!?????????

>>748119748119YYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS DO IT !You better pinkie promise you will!!!!I'll be checking .......I got my Pie on you !! HaHaHa get it cause pinkies last name is PIE !!!!!!!

>>748321748321 ypu should, but it has to be 3000 words and over, tho

all my fics got discarded

>>751242751242

chapter three will solve that problem of just being under 3000 words, I need someone to grammar check chapter 1 and 3 for me though :P

>>751266751266 u have some editors? i can help with that if u want...

>>751585751585

Sure, Ive had some people on IRC proof read. But I think it annoys them me asking :p Thanks for the offer. At moment I need the grammar mistakes of chapter one sorted out, I cant really spot them, can't wait for the day I write a chapter without mistakes. :D

>>751591751591 pm me the next chapter once your done

The book knows all Twilight

>>752235752235

You don't like her?

>>752240752240 No i just find that comment about the book rather endearing and innocent.

>>752261752261

Daww :P Book Twilight is Cute Twilight.

To be fair it's not like he invited Pinkie to a rugby game or an international soccer gamer, over there her behavior would be considered calm as the stadium tears itself apart from drunken fist fighting at the end of the game.

Yesterday isn't spelled with a u.

"...I can't believe you got given that."  err i'm not sure if thats proper grammar.  and with rarity saying that, its kind of weird.  only thing that stuck out to me.  anyways,  still good for sure.  

To bad Applejack can't fly, I could just see her catching up above rainbow and suddenly singing,

"Pinkie and Soarin, sitting in a tree

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

first comes love,

then comes marriage

then comes scootaloo in a baby carriage"

oh, one minor thing though, I think a couple quotation marks got away from ya, over in this paragraph, I put them in red, I know its sort of weird to have quotes within quotes but I am pretty sure they belong.

"Yes, indeedy, however, when they saw I got given an expensive ticket they didn't want me to waste the opportunity." said Pinkie. "They also said it was, and I quote,  "it's sweet you have a stallion interested in you." I have no idea what they meant." Pinkie's apparent lack of awareness of the situation caused Rarity to giggle like a little school girl.

Yes , because books know all Twilight . Oh how it never ceases to amaze me how adorkable you are!TWILIGHT IS BEST PONY well for me at least ....... Man I should listen to Rainbow when she said your suppose to be assertive more

seriously...... Oh well I aint called Twi-Shy-Pie for nothin(hint: I am timed,quiet ,an "egghead"and  get hiper )

YAY! Moar, but take your time, dont feel pressured to do it cuz I said moar or anything

..okay i probably should've just shut up

>>756443756443

Moar will come after I get the grammar issues sorted out so I can submit to EQD.

>>gcsmith

Hope they like it.

>>756448756448

Submitted once, after I had it Edited, then they say it's still full of Errors. So still need editors who know what they are doing :D I Know I'm bad but still...

Sigh wish I knew some bronies who lived near me who are good with grammar.

>>gcsmith

I'm a total grammar/spelling nazi. If I could help I would.

>>756460756460

Sure It requires a total check of all three chapters for these in particular according to email, dialogue punctuation, capitalization, and use of possessive terms.

And I thought those were all things the person helped me with.

Ah' like where this is goin'...

>>813456813456

And I appreciate you like it.

"Oh, Darling, don't you fret, I'm sure they only meant it was nice for you to get a ticket. Such a pricey one as well, I can't believe you got given that."

Should be "I can't believe you were given that."  

>>813606813606

thanks for the catch

"I was expecting you to tell me alot about the Wonderbolts."

Am I crazy to think that ?

>>815138815138

We may find more information about the wonderbolts soon.

I give you 4 Derps out of 5 Derps for this story.

Poor Rainbow she wishes Soarin gave her the ticket and slice of her "pie"

Meh Submitted to EQD even after edits and they keep saying their are grammatical errors I can't see.

Uh oh

Oh,Sweet Celestias Mane!!!!!!!

The plot (and i don't mean pony ass!) thickens.  I like where this is going.  So is this turning into soarin-dash now?  Cause i like pinkie and si but i would still like it to go Soarin-pinkie too.   Hmm, the boulder is conflicted...

Image: http://s3.roosterteeth.com/images/MajorTurok4c65ae0ac44bd.jpg

>>986238986238

A simple love story would be boring wouldn't it... :D

>>986245986245

Surprise ending:  Rainbow dash is actually spaghetti and Si is a 500 foot tall monster from the paleolithic era and asks pinkie for about three fiddy (Dammit nessie!).  Best plot twist ever

...Sorry, i'm sleep deprived right now and this is what happens to me.

Yes, Pinkie is definitely a "sane" pony.

Sane?Pinkie Pie sane?Somepony,hasn't heard about her little "Party of One "Incident.........

>>10321711032171

It was meant to be a, oh how wrong you are, moment. Or Ironic, not sure. Either way the point was he's only seen fanboy Rainbow, and a mild Pinkie Pie. :D

Always nice to see a Pinkie Pie romance fic. Can't wait to read more!

"Already? The derby isn't going to start for another hour or so. I was expecting you to tell me all about the Wnderbolts." said Twilight.

Si might be trouble for Soarin and Rainbow for Pinkie Pie there is only one solution, pair the spares

>>17569891756989

hope u'r enjoying this.

Wnderbolts is this a miss up or what?

Congrats.

Your fanfic has been chosen as fanfic of the week on our group:

Love and Tolerate

Keep safe and keep writing!

>>18169981816998

Cheers, I'm surprised it has been given the lack of updates or the fact it isn't submitted to the group

>>18170241817024

One of our members really enjoyed it and he suggested it.

And I did too. I really want to see how it will end, but I can wait for it.

>>18170361817036

At the moment, my House in Equestria fic is my primary focus, followed by Artemis and In her Majesty's Nightmare Service. Still I would love to throw another chapter out for this soon. Once I get my bearings on the story again. After reading a lot of more romance involved stories I really want to finish this off, properly might I add. I really want it to turn out good for all parties.

>>18170731817073

Sure thing.

Don't worry about it. Like it's said: "hunger is the best spice".

>>18171091817109

Crude statement, with loads of flaws to it once you actually start thinking about it. But I appreciate the sentiments.

(Don't mind my comments. I'm a rather literal person who thinks too much into things.)

I'm glad you liked my story and you may enjoy some of my other reads.

>>18171261817126

The sentiments were the only thing that mattered anyway. Besides, it's normally best to not overthink too much about things.

And you're welcome!

>>18171661817166

:D I would suggest maybe reading some of my other stuff, always appreciate new views. And you might find stuff you like.

-btw who knows, your group viewing and stuff on my story might kick me into writing some more for it soon.

>>18171831817183

That would be great!

I will make sure to check them out. And I am sure the members of the group I belong will as well.