This story is a sequel to The Adventures of Batsy Fluffentuft the Magnificent
Tirek has escaped. The plan to send Discord after him has failed in every way possible. Now the princesses are left waiting for Tirek's invasion of their castle. They can already feel the ground shaking as the massive centaur approaches. With no other options, they must give their magic to somepony capable of hiding it away from Tirek.
Unfortunately, the only guard close enough is one on probation. Like super probation.
This can only end poorly.
Chapters (1)
*Reads title*
Oh heck no.
There's no possible way this will end well.
Bat treats are actually breezies. Sweet, juicy breezies.
I was right.
And it was beautiful.
Batsy...
You dolt...
You lovable batty dolt...
This. This is so...
so....
SO BEAUTIFUL!
Oh god....IT CONTINUES TO HAPPEN.
Is Batsy Trixies little sister or something?
How did Batsy even pass her guard training?
A sequel is needed.
7082250
When she takes things eriously, she is God Mode.
Batsy kinda helped I guess..... not sure. Though blasting both the eyes and hitting him in the nuts was probably distracting enough to give them time to open the box. Though ouch Batsy, low blow.
Batsy is best batpony princess
Batsy will prove it's possible even for Princesses to get fat.
7082696 It's within the bounds of imagination.
Whoa. Deleted comments?
7082250
My guess is she's in the guard to be kept under observation. Much safer letting her loose on the world.
7083419 I delete useless and abusive comments. Not legit criticism, of course, that would be wrong of me.
Yeah! Magical Groin Missile! Best Tirek fight ever.
7083424 Clearly the Guard isn't doing a good enough job keeping her in if she's getting out so easily. Then again, even Tartarus probably wouldn't be enough to keep her at bay, so you can't really blame them for failing.
Also, mad props for emulating the original Batsy Fluffentuft style to a T.
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Who did the original?
7083901 A wonderful person named ocalhoun. If you click the link in the story description, it takes you right to his page (and the original story, which I highly suggest).
I want to see Saitama fight Tirek.
Just to see the spray of gore that's left of that lame centaur after the Caped Baldy sighs and draws his fist back a single time...
I feel a familiar tune coming along...
7083459 The trouble with that is nobody can be sure of that. If you'd left those up, a potential reader would've just seen a couple trolls (if that really is what happened), but now, all we see is somebody that can't handle dissenting opinion. Hopefully you grow out of this behavior, because such conduct will not help you here.
P.S. I kept a screenshot of this comment in case you decide to delete this too
7084635
Don't use screenshots as evidence. This practice should be stopped because a screenshot cannot prove anything, and people who don't know better might start thinking it can, and then those people can be easily fooled with fake screenshots. Instead use an archived snapshot of the page from a trusted third party.
7084885 Thanks for the advice. I'll get on that.
Oh my god I actually snorted when reading this.
Celestia and Luna were totally unfair, after all, Batsy came pretty close to beating Tirek without all that friendship nonsense.
Batsy Fluffentuft the Magnificent is clearly best princess.
I was pleasantly surprised by this piece of work. On its colorful surface, it appears to be nothing more than a cutesy comedy, played for silliness. Then about halfway through, some richer, more sophisticated themes began to reveal themselves. It's been a while since I've deconstructed anything critically, but let me take a whack at it, because there are a number of points I would like to address.
Batsy's personality is first and foremost among them. She is a silly, not-too-bright little troublemaker who quite clearly has some difficulty in understanding the world around her. She is meant to merely amuse us, but you dropped a number of hints throughout the narrative that hinted at something much deeper. Her silliness isn't meant to simply be endearing, as it comes from a much deeper and more reflective part of herself. There are layers aplenty there worth examining.
In particular, the line in which you described her landing on the pavement after the first time she used her wings. Assuming gravity is a metaphor here, it is common to feel as though the world, or even just life altogether, is dragging us down, and the very particular words that you oh-so-carefully selected to paint this picture resonated quite effectively with that part of the human psyche, the part that feels as though one can never climb up or bounce back from anything. But Batsy does bounce back. Yet not as magnificently as one might expect. It was clearly important to have a placeholder on her magnificence due to the necessity that she reflect an average, not the exception.
The Royal Guards likewise provided a very important element. They weren't present for a very long stretch, yet the role they played in the grand scheme of things was critical in helping to underpin some of the more personal themes that you clearly worked so hard to cultivate throughout the rest of the story's structure. That English-accented guard, in particular, inadvertently creates a standpoint that Batsy uses to judge herself and the other characters. All his 'Jolly good day!'s and 'Spot of bother?'s are representative phrases by which Batsy feels alienated.
It is Batsy's sheer ignorance of the weights and responsibilities placed on her (such as those dishes she was supposed to be washing … beautiful metaphor there) that prevents her from resorting to the same coping mechanisms that the average individual typically does. And therein lies the brilliance of your unique characterization of this protagonist: Batsy—while not a tragic character—is certainly a complicated one. ocalhoun can go to hell. You are the best choice to continue writing Batsy's magnificent literary endeavors.
7085488 I read the New Yorker too, but settle down bub. It's just a story.
Princess Fluffentuft ought to demand a harem.
7084635 Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down, dude. I'm not going to delete your comment. Don't be ridiculous. I don't appreciate your condescension, but since it's trying to be constructive instead of just being a jerk for the sake of it, I'm not deleting it. Trust me, that's not who I am. In the four years I have been on this site, I can count on one hand the amount of times I've deleted comments. It's not what I do. Read the comments sections for some of my bigger stories: there are plenty of negative comments, but they're not deleted. Even some of the heated ones.
7086744 I've actually noticed that one overly nasty comment, that's all destructive instead of constructive, can turn many people away. I mean when i go to read a story, I read the comments first. I think it's personally fine to delete unprofessional comments. Your work shouldn't loose notoriety just because one person doesn't like your story.
and thus the best alicorn was born !
This, this amused me to no end.
7085488 You sound like my English teacher.
What are you doing here, Mr Sweeney?
I was cracking up throughout the whole story! You are a genius, sir!
7085488 Jesus... You sound like my class when we were reading the Metamorphosis.
Sometimes, a story is just a story.
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Well, it was the first of April. Everything just seems a little topsy-turvy on that particular date.
Every year.
For some reason.
7086838 It's actually deleted comments that drive more people away. If you don't believe it, pay attention to a story's views before and after compared to those visited by a troll or two. Numbers don't lie.
7088440 Ooooh...
Props to you then!
This! Is! EQUESTRIA!
7088595 It appears a deleted comment killed one of your family members. Calm yourself.
7088761 No need to be so defensive. It's just amateur fiction. Take a deep breath, count to ten, etc.
7088900 It was a joke, dude.
7083744 That would make a great story. Our dear Batsy is sent to Tartarus, gets bored (not sad or angry, just bored for whatever reason), and leaves with practically no trouble whatsoever. As a result, practically every pony who knows her wonder how she was able to escape so easily. Batsy in her naivete does not see what the big deal about it all would be, but would never admit to that because she sees herself as brilliant and all that.
You know, this was really authenticall. I enjoyed this as much as the original story. How about a sequel? (seine the original story is stuck and such)
7088907 But what if it actually DID kill his family member? 'Ello. My name is Hamster_Master. You kill my father. Prepare to die.
This is everything I wanted the original Batsy story to be. :D Also I like how Cadence isn't in it. :V