Scary. I once had a dream similar to this.

I do look forward to your next installment.

One question though, why would her throat be bleeding from screaming?

Nice to see you've posted this from FF.net. Await further updates

Cool story bro, I like it.

>>3907939079  good question. To be honest, I just believe I read that somewhere, but never checked if it's even possible from a medical point of view. Maybe I'll remove that.

The world is what?

>>3970239702 They were told it's name was "Equestria".

Dun dun dunnnnn~

Keep it up!

This is extremely confusing.

Ima track it anyways

When she said rage against the machine, I went to youtube and started playing Killing in the Name. Good times.

>>3972939729

That wasn't meant to be a question.

reads like it

sound like it

but isn't

>>4282042820 What it was meant to be is going to stay your personal secret, I presume.

>>4453144531

think about it.

Dun dun dun~

Loving the story and frequent updates! Keep it up!

Wish the story hadn't taken the brown shirt turn. Oh well; in for a penny - in for a pound.

Viva la resistance!

Wow. This is incredible. I eagerly look forward to more. Also, was that a covert Ren & Stimpy reference I spotted?

>>4606546065 Maybe. All I can say is that one of the many lessons I learned from that show was "Don't wizz- on the Electric Fence!"

Holy tit fuck

pinkie pie was turned into a cupcake??? (thats what im gettin)

hm if everythin's a lie i wonder whats w/

this sound BUCKIN AWESOME

>>5119751197 I got to admit... I've never seen someone interpret it like this, but now that I think of it... OMG PINKIE WHAT HAVE I DONE...

Bronyvistus=pony hitler

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RAINBOW DASH

>>5132351323 She'll be fine... Remember, she's the best.

So Rainbow Dash is the pony equivalent of Jewish?  Interesting....  

Applejack as Hitler Youth/Nazi though... as a southern girl, I can believe it (KKK), but as the element of Honesty, I would think she would see right through that bull.  

But people change under drastic circumstances.

But no matter what, you did amazingly.

>>5202252022 thanks. This means a lot to me.

Wow, wasn't expecting to have the meme barrier broken... twice.

Still, loving the story.

Endless YouTube videos. Every junkie's weakness.

I guess the grimdarl has simply gone so high, we've hit an overflow error and have looped into delightfully absurd. Not complaining, mind you, just making an observation. I look forward to more!

Dont, mess with fluttershy.   Nuff said.  

ALSO NYAN DASH FTW!

I supose that you really liked Portal?

Well, at least you managed to make use of the same elements without making it sound like a straight copy

I think that you derrailed a bit since the last few chapters and simply threw all logic straight out of the window, but still keeping a nice chain of events (that's good) and I'm curious to know what twilight is going to do

Someone should definitely make a fan art of the re-stiched Twilght

Had I not read Freak Show, this would have been very confusing.

Looking forward to more.

>>128976128976 I try to stay close to the 'pop culture reference'/'fan art' side and away from the 'plagiat' side though I admit sometimes it's a tight walk

I admit, I was struggling to avoid reading Celestia's dialogue in GLaDOS's voice this chapter. And I mean that in a good way.

I can't wait to see when Twilight sends herself.

Yeah, I skipped a few chapters. I gotta be honest, this story just creeps me out. It's too weird, to unhappy for me to consider.

Good writing though, I wouldn't change anything, though I'd never read this story again. It's just too much.

>>222521222521 Thanks for sharing your thoughts, your aproval means a lot to me especially since it goes against your personal preferences

God this is paranoia-inducing.

Fuck this is grimdark.

I am not enjoying reading this, but I keep reading anyway. Is something wrong with me?

I just realized this is basically (in a fashion) the Matrix with ponies and a comprehensible plot. Too bad Pinkie didn't give Spike a choice between a red and a blue cupcake.

And Pinkie still talks to the audience...

Damn, it's like a good survival-horror game! And it was intended to be so, it seems!

I take it Rainbow Dash kicked a chair across a room in a fit of rage and realized that NOPONY could tell her what she can and cannot collect from her body and throw at others?

I'm pretty sure this is scarier than Silent Hill.

Cupcakes was nothing. Rainbow Factory was nothing.

Hopefully this alternate universe will be better, but I'm not banking on it.

This is one of the most mind bendingly terrifying stories I have ever read. And you are awesome for writing it!

And of course, finding out what these "ponies" actually are (via the companion piece Freak Show) makes it even more terrifying.

Also is Celestia some sort of central AI like GLADOS (Portal) or SHODAN (System Shock)?

Finally, will we get to see the "real world" (the world outside the lab complex)?

NYAH fluttershy!  

wait.. oh.. AWESOME!   YAY that is epic XD  

leave it to pinkie

eat me!

ok ^_^

>>420374420374 Very glad you like it. To answer your questions: Yes and maybe

Because when you say "screw destiny," you've got expect things that no one could've foreseen. Including Gooeyshy.

Delightfully disturbing. I look forward to more. Oh, and can Fluttershy shapeshift now? She seems to be in pony shape only out of habit.

WHAT DID THAT BASTARD DO TO FLUTTERSHY! GATHER THE MASSES! WE MARCH TO TAKE REVENGE ON BEHALF OF KINDNESS!

Kill him! KILL HIM! KILL HIM!

Now there's a wonderful image...

Nice to see a little light of hope in the horrific nightmare that is this story. Of course, I mean that in the nicest possible way.

At least there's some hope in this absolutely terrifying story.

>>691368691368

In due time.

Nice to see this thing isn't dead. And, hy, RD and AJ get to become parents.

So, is there something I've missed, or did a few things happen off-screen?

Oh, and Fluttershy's lines are awesome. 'It cannot be unseen.'

>>720226720226

you haven't missed anything. Things like that happen when I know the general outline of things that happened but haven't found out enough to give them their own detailled episode. When -if- it finally comes around, I put it into "MLP Laboratories- Freak Show".

Bahahahaha! Go Twilight!

Holy shit! Celestia as an AI with neurotoxin? GLADOS?!

It looks like the artificial constructs meet their creators.

But still, what exactly are the "ponies"?!

That's the thing about going off the rails. It leads to a wreck. Not that that's always a bad thing.

Things appear to be really looking up. I find myself looking down, waiting for a rug to be pulled.

Pinkie's now a computer, Fluttershy's now pando, Rarity's an exile and Twi's an alicorn?

So weird.   Still an interesting work, however.

So, humanity extinct?

... WTF?!?!?!?

So Fluttershy's a tree, the ponies are synthetic lifeforms who repopulated the planet after an apocalyptic war destroys Humanity, Pinkie Pie's an AI and Twilight's a dimension hopper and you're a colt listening to Pinkamena's tale of the Outbreak?

Did I get that right?

Still an excellent, brain bending biopunk horror story.

Well done. This story makes a piont. What is real? and what is Reality to start with anyway?

I couldn't sleep last night though. I was Slighty Paranoid. that and the heat.

Also this vaguely reminded me of The Matrix. Am i the first to make that connection?

>>832813832813

'Adventure Time' - like extinct I believe

>>832101832101

I've never even heard of pando before. Thank you for introducing me to that awesome creature!

This is freaky. This is the definition of a grimdark.

Woah dood. That was one hell of a story. I loved it. Started out depressing, then got philosophical, then got awesome. I'd say it really picked up by about chapter 20. I'm glad you went with a happy ending too. But, those few silly moments like the Nyan Cat thing and Pinkie breaking the fourth wall really broke immersion and killed the mood. I guess they were good for comedic relief anyway and kept things from getting too depressing, lol.

I noticed a huge improvement in your writing by the end, btw. Grammar, sentence structure, "showing" vs "telling", characters, plot etc.

End of story and my head still hurts

After time shenanigans, body horror, and countless dashed hopes...

Good end.

Yay.

It's been a real trip and a half. Thank you for writing this.

Well this is strange. We started off in the Matrix, detoured via Aperture Science and Scilent Hill, and now we're squarely in Nazi Germany.

Hmm. This story starts out as a strong concept, but then seems to blur into a bit of a mess without any strong theme. I recognised many of the game references, but you can't just mix them up like that and you definately can't arbitrarily bounce back and forth between them without rhyme nor reason. Swapping the rules so frequently means that the villians (who operate under the same rules) pose inconsistant threats; and loose credibility. With no stakes you have no story. And then there are all the unanswered questions... I'm going to have to give this a thumbs down.

>>13531701353170

Thanks a lot for your review!

It was the first fanfic I've ever written, and it was supposed to be the only one, so I felt like I had to put everything into it that I could think of, which is making it chaotic. So I guess it's valid to say it falls short of being a real, unified narrative, it's more of a monster. I have no regrets, though, even if I might write a different, shorter and more coherent version of it at some point.

Good story but a rather unrealistic ending.

This story is awesome! A bit unstructured and inconsistent in some places but that only makes it better. The one thing I noticed was that it started as solid horror and then continued to get ever more surreal and into cyberpunk and biopunk territory. I really like the turn for the lighthearted, though you abandoned a bit of realism with that. But, considering how surreal the story as a whole is, it was worth it, it was exactly right.

3 AM in here and no regrets

I like this. Scratch that, I love this!

I think I should give my honest reaction to each chapter of this fic from now on. Using emoticons, unless there are none, in which case I will explain how I felt with words.

>>5119751197

Ohmygosh that's exactly what I was thinking!

Anyway, my thoughts on this chapter.

I noticed that you have been writing Sighted instead of Sighed. It didn't show up often, so I thought it was just the odd spelling mistake, but now I am convinced that's how you believe it is spelled. It isn't. Isn't spelled like that, I mean. And It's not Pinkemina, It's Pinkamena. Also, I didn't want to mention it, but the writing quality seems to have deteriorated over the past few chapter. Don't get me wrong; It's still a great read, it just doesn't seem to have the quality that the earlier ones used to.

My thoughts on this chapter.