The behemoth

Traveling to equestria, a human finds out that gravity is many times higher there, and he is much more dense than normal. without any magic to counteract the force of gravity, he weighs 10 tons, literally. the ponies freak out.

Chapters (2)

My Not So Grand Entrance · 27th Feb 2016 · 1,209 words
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The First Threat · 27th Feb 2016 · 1,759 words
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Comments ( 6 )

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Iron Sky

Iron Sky #1 · Feb 27th, 2016 · · · The First Threat ·

I stopped reading after the first line.

Please proofread before you publish.

Darkscout99

Darkscout99 #2 · Feb 27th, 2016 · · · The First Threat ·

6979604 Im sorry to see that you decied not to read, but if you could give me examples that would be great. I tried to do my best but it seems that I didn't do a good enough job.

RedGlare

RedGlare #3 · Feb 28th, 2016 · · · The First Threat ·

it looks like a new concept of HiE, i'll give it a shoot

RedGlare

RedGlare #4 · Feb 28th, 2016 · · · The First Threat ·

i don't want to offend, but it's too... simple... he wakes up, so instantly the ponies befriend him and make him a guard... i hope you see the what's wrong there...

Darkscout99

Darkscout99 #5 · Feb 28th, 2016 · · · The First Threat ·

6980367 thanks for the comment, im doing my best to space it out. i have it in my head celestia wanted him close so she could watch him, but that didn't come out too well did it?

Something annoying