February 13 [Val Day]
February 13
When I woke up, I discovered that Kathleen was using me as a pillow. It was really cute. John-Jacob was snuggled against her; they'd covered themselves with one of the cloaks that they wore as part of their garb.
When I turned my head a little farther, I could see Donald by himself on the floor—he'd gotten a pillow from someone. I could see a pair of feet which I assumed were Keith's sticking out from under his covers, and looking the other way, I could see Malcolm's head. I didn't know when he'd come back; he hadn't been there when I fell asleep.
I stayed where I was for as long as I could; I didn't want to disturb anyone, especially not Kathleen. Humans mostly seem to be late risers; at least the students are. I guess not everyone is; when I go for my morning trots and flights, there are lots of cars on the road, and of course the people I see who are jogging.
By the time there was light in the room, people were getting up. Kathleen and John-Jacob woke up first, then they woke up Donald. We all took our turns at the bathroom, and then by the time we'd all finished, Keith was awake, too.
Pretty much everyone got dressed in the room, although Kathleen went into the bathroom to put on her bodice. She said that nobody wanted to see her boobs. John-Jacob said he wouldn't mind and reached out to grab one, so she smacked his hand.
I had to wait until she was dressed to have her dress me. If she'd had time to make mouth-friendly fasteners, I could have put on my caparison myself, but the safety pins were too finicky for me to use.
She ruffled my feathers a lot when she helped me get my wings through the slits in the fabric, and then she yelled at me when I started to preen them back into place—not a mean yell, just an impatient 'wait until I'm done getting this in place' sort of thing. I hadn't really meant to make it harder for her; it was just instinct to get my feathers back into order as quickly as possible in case I had to fly away.
When everyone was dressed, they asked me if I needed a ride to the event, and I said that I was going to go with Aric and that I probably ought to head over to his house soon. Keith volunteered to drive me there, to save some time. So everyone got together and decided what cars they were going to take. I went with Keith and Malcolm and Donald; we all crowded into his car which is called Montego. It was the most luxurious car I'd even been in, although I didn't really care for the smell of the seats.
He dropped me off in front of Aric's, and waited until I was let into the house by Sara.
She and I waited downstairs until Aric was ready, and then we all piled into Winston. The truck now had a cover on the back which Aric said was called a topper, and that he'd put it on because his armor and stuff was back there. It made the inside of the truck a lot darker; it blocked all the light coming through the big back window.
When we got there, I was kind of disappointed. The place was a boring-looking building not unlike the reception center had been. Aric said that it was the fairground and that I'd have to use my imagination some, but it was really more about the people than the location. He said that it was a shame that I hadn't come to Winter Revel in Ionia, because that was the best spot in Michigan for a SCA event—the building was absolutely perfect. Sara agreed with him.
So we went inside, and I was immediately struck by the change in atmosphere there. The building was still pretty mundane, but all the colorful costumes on the people made up for it.
Most of the outfits were really ornate and elegant. I'd gotten a bit of an expectation on what people might be wearing from what everyone had gotten dressed in this morning, but there were people wearing far fancier clothes. Women wore dresses that went all the way to the floor covered in needlepoint and lace, there was a man wearing a plaid skirt and out of the corner of my eye I caught a man wearing an all pink outfit that looked to be made entirely of satin or silk.
With all that, I almost instantly turned into the center of attention. Even before we got to the little registration desk, people were coming over wanting to talk to me and pet me. Well, the petting was mostly children. The adults were nice and respectful; the children thought I was the most adorable thing ever.
One girl with blonde hair and blue eyes almost the exact same shade as mine held out her hand and let me sniff it before she touched it lightly to my muzzle, and then she asked who I was. Aric had told me that everybody had their own persona (which is a fake personality, sort of like when LARPing), and that I ought to come up with something. Of course, I hadn't thought of anything so I just said I was Silver Glow (which was true!) and that I served in the second ile of Commander Hurricane's hipparchy (which wasn't true). Her eyes got really big, and she curtseyed to me.
I think I'll keep that as a persona. I actually felt a bit like a hero just saying it. Everypony knows that Commander Hurricane's hipparchy (along with the heavy lancers) crushed Princess Platinum’s coutilier and that was what made all the unicorns finally flee back to their castles.
We moved into the merchant hall next. Aric said that he always liked to look around and see what they had, and that the merchant hall wouldn't be there all day, anyway. They had to take down their stuff before the King and Queen held court.
This was a market like I was familiar with. There were lots of little stalls, and people at every one of them selling their wares. A lot of them—perhaps all of them—were the artisans themselves. I saw a jeweler making more beaded jewelry while she was talking to a potential customer, and a seamster stitching a pair of trousers.
There wasn't much that I needed, and most of the costume pieces wouldn't fit me anyway. But I found a gorgeous moonstone pendant on a silver chain that I just had to have, and the lady who'd made it agreed that it was just perfect for me.
Another man was selling swords and other weapons, and I considered buying one. I thought that would fit with my persona very nicely. He had a faussart—which he said was called a glaive—that I thought would be perfect. He thought it was funny that I would want a polearm, and asked how I would use it.
I told him that if he was willing to cut down the shaft a bit, I'd show him. So I pointed to how long it ought to be, and he cut it and then gave it to me.
I'll admit I'm not an expert with them; while we pegasuses all have some obligatory martial training, I'm no expert, and I'm sure my old instructor would have laughed me out of class for the demonstration I put on, but he was amazed—everyone who saw was—and then we got to talking tactics a little bit, and Aric weighed in, too.
I hadn't really considered how different human battle tactics would be: they only had to consider other soldiers on the ground, and made no consideration for spellcasters or fliers.
Well, the armorer was so impressed that he sold me the faussart glaive for half of what he'd originally been asking, and gave me his card and told me that he really wanted to spend some more time talking military tactics with me. He said that he lived in Battle Creek, which was not so far from Kalamazoo, and that perhaps we both had a lot we could learn from each other.
Aric said that he had to go and get ready for battle, and he leaned down so that I could nuzzle his cheek. I went around to a couple of the clothiers until I found one who had a bit of blue ribbon I could buy to put on my glaive, which made it into a proper weapon.
I met up with everyone else—they'd taken a corner in the main hall and were having a bit of a lunch snack—dark bread, several kinds of cheese, and a tube of meat the size of a donkey dick that Donald said was called a summer sausage. I wasn't too interested in that, but I had some bread and cheese. I wish I'd thought to bring some of my anchovies.
They also had several bottles of pop, which I also didn't want. I thought it would be nice to have had some beer; Kathleen said that this was a dry event, so beer wasn't allowed. I had to make due with water from the drinking fountain.
We were just finishing up when Aric came clanking back in, fully dressed in his armor and carrying his sword and shield. And it was nice, proper armor, all scuffed and dented, so you could tell that he'd been using it.
He had a quick snack and drank some pop and then he went off to join his team, and we all followed so that we could watch the fight.
In the hall behind the merchant's hall, they'd set up a small arena, which was fenced off with ropes. There was a small wooden structure that Aric said was meant to be a bridge—his shoulders dropped when he saw it.
There were a bunch of other people dressed in armor—I recognized Kennith and Seth and Keith; all the rest were strangers to me. Before too long, they formed into two groups. A herald announced that the objective of the battle was for one team to defend the bridge, and the other team was supposed to try and cross it.
I was curious to see some of the tactics put into action. Obviously, a pegasus brigade would never even bother trying to take a bridge—what's the point? Unless we had earth pony allies, it was smarter to break it so nopony else could use it. But I guess the humans would have to, if they couldn't go around it any other way.
The two sides came together enthusiastically, crashing their swords into each other. When someone 'died,' they'd walk out of the battle. If they were just injured, they weren't allowed to use that body part any more, so Seth fought the second half of the battle one-armed.
The advantage went to the bridge-keepers, which was Aric's team. They were able to form a tight group, and they fought together as a team very well. Kennith and Seth were particularly effective together; once Seth 'lost' his arm, Kennith covered that side of his body.
There was a lot of applause from the crowd, and a few disappointed sighs as well. But I thought it had gone very well.
By the time it was over, the merchants were gone from the main hall, and a pair of thrones had been set up in the center. We all stood around until the King and Queen came in, and then everyone bowed respectfully.
There were lots of awards given out—the herald announced each one, and then the person receiving the award would go forward and bow, and be presented with his honor. Aric and his team all went up together, to receive a commendation for winning the bridge battle: the King and Queen had been watching from the crowd, and thought that they had done very well.
After Court was over, everyone went to another hall for dancing. The first person I noticed was the man in pink—he was wearing a pink stuffed elephant over his crotch. Donald said that was called a codpiece, but normally it wasn't a stuffed elephant. I thought it was really funny.
The man in the plaid skirt was in charge of the dancing. Aric—who had changed out of his armor—said that he taught the dances at school on Wednesdays, and I said that I'd like to learn them.
One of the most fun ones to watch was called “Black Nag.” Aric danced with Sara, and during the hopping part (which I found out is called galumphing) he and John-Jacob would crash enthusiastically into each other. Nobody else did: Keith told me that was how Aric and John-Jacob liked to do that dance.
It was pretty late when we left. Aric said that rather than drive back to town, he'd gotten a hotel room, and that really raised my hopes—I knew what Peggy was doing in her hotel room. To my disappointment, we were sharing the room with pretty much everyone and I was pretty sure that humans liked to be private when they were having sex.
I got over my disappointment pretty quick, though. We hadn't been allowed to drink on site, but it was okay in the hotel room, and so we all had a few beers and then a friendly argument over who'd get beds and who would have to sleep on the floor. I didn't mind the floor so much, but lucked out and got to share a bed with Aric (who said that he deserved one, since he'd paid for the room) and Sara. I slept in the middle, which was the best spot.
And Kathleen and John-Jacob got the other bed, and everyone else huddled up on the floor.
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Off topic, but you know something I'm looking forward to seeing? Someone explaining to Silver why humans consider a herd mentality a bad thing, because of things like lowered IQs and mob rule. Her reaction should be interesting.
7109608
Hm. That's an interesting perspective... I'd been thinking of the HWE legend as more closely mirroring the legend of the founding of Rome. Though with a somewhat happier ending, of course: Romulus slew Remus while the three tribes managed to work together.
The sausage's description really threw me for a second. :P
I kilt the last person to call it a skirt, I'll have you know.
Not really, I just wanted to make that joke.
7108326 Well how much of that is based upon the show? From what I can tell, while Starglow comes from a very similar equestria, I am not so sure that it is the same place but set somewhere in the future or just throwing humans in.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't remember hearing how Unicorns have their own Written Language in the show that's ever been used. Even if they did, I am pretty sure it would been abandoned long before the typewriter.
7109683
I actually laughed out loud when I read that. It was just so random that it took me a second to comprehend what I just read.
7109673
Well, The Measure of a Man would be an excellent introduction to TNG. Courtroom drama about whether Data as an android counts as alive or property of Starfleet. Excellent performances from the main cast, especially Picard, and a philosophical point she'd probably find interesting to think about. Especially if effects like the Mirror Pool are well known to be able to create artificial life by magic, for instance.
The Best of Both Worlds, where Picard is assimilated by the Borg was definitely one of the most exciting episodes (though she'd be much better off watching that one once she's already seen enough TNG to be attached to Picard). Features moments such as Riker having to decide whether to fire on the Borg to save Earth while Picard is aboard their ship, which seems like the kind of moral dilemma she'd find interesting.
In The Pale Moonlight is a DS9 episode that's exceptional for shading into much greyer morality than Trek usually deals with, with Sisko getting into progressively shadier territory as he tries to bring the Romulans into the war against the Dominion. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions" would be an excellent description of the episode. Watching it after getting used to the more black-and-white Trek morality would probably be very interesting. Also has an exceptional performance by Sisko.
Seems Silver's not as innocent as she lets on, the way she just casually tosses "donkey dick" out there.
Also, the guy in pink has a costume fit for a Jojo cosplay.
This just raises so many nsfw questions.
Wonder if she needs a good shildsmen?
7109901 im still surprised people thought of her as innocent past like the fifth chapter
Oh my god Silver Glow the diminutive equine lancer makes me want to die with happiness
7109715
A side note regarding "Witchcraft."
The thing that is popularly called witchcraft today has little to do with the groups of people who used superstition, threats, poisonings, fire and destruction to gain power over small villages in ancient times.
Most of the other laws in Leviticus were symbolic in nature, to keep reminding people to keep their religion pure--it didn't work, though. People are like that. You can buy them books and send them to school...
Codpeice you say?
lh4.googleusercontent.com/-QFf32RT87z8/UbvN2aN_QUI/AAAAAAAALPs/7NKlRGhjr0w1-ONH3SjtBN0QHN8oW5_sg/w500-h333-no/tumblr_mjjwxz5B0I1s81fhyo1_500.gif
A little pastel (military trained) pegasus swinging a glaive around. Priceless XD
Edit: Is this the moment we stop a little to consider Silver has MILITARY training? That cute pony is dangerous o.o
7110028
7109715
How's a pony reading on their own supposed to know whats really meant and whats just a metaphor? The bible has a lot of messed up stuff in it we ignore. It's a terrible way really to try to understand what an modern Christian is. They don't have the same cultural upbringing to know the right answers to some of the odd things it has written in it.
7109683 Should we be wondering exactly how she knows that?
It is my understanding that the codpiece does what a zipper does today. I was told that those exaggerated codpieces came in w Henry VIII, he had VD & was sensitive. The SCA allows up to end of 16th century for authentic costumes. This is about a century after the end of the middle ages (end of 16th century, depends on what part of Europe you are talking about). This is because Tudor England had a lot of what we think of as Medieval clothing.
As to pony tribes. IDK what is in the books & comics. The only episode that really covered it would be Hearth's Warming Eve. Reading between the lines a bit, the Pegasi seem to have had a military dictatorship (sort of like ancient Sparta), the Unicorns had a feudal set up, & the Earth Ponies had a republic (We Americans tend to say "democracy" when we mean "republic". They are not the same thing).
If you assume that when Celestia & Luna took over they allowed the nobility to keep their titles, it might explain why most nobles seem to be Unicorns. As an American, I go w Mark Twain's comment "In America, the only people who inherit things by right of birth are congenital idiots"
For weapons training, IDK. The ponies have the tech to build more advanced weapons, but the Guard only uses medieval weaponry. It is possible this is ceremonial, like the Swiss Guards & not cutting edge tech.
7109603
Her first thought would be the whole 'safety in numbers' thing.
Yeah, that's actually an interesting topic to consider. It's a rather fundamental difference between a pony POV and a human POV.
7109650
I guess it's a matter of historical perspective. When one empire falls, another rises, and I suppose your point of view would be colored from where you were on the timeline. To ponies living in that time period, it would be the collapse of the society they'd known, and they wouldn't appreciate that the new one would be better.
7109683
armourmeats.com/system/images/11/original/summer_sausage.jpg?1267627022
Fun fact: donkies are the most well-endowed of the equines.
7109691
Silver Glow wouldn't know what it was called.
7109736
As far as I know, they don't. I don't think it's ever come up.
But my own headcanon--and what we have seen on the show--is that hornwriting is easy, and mouthwriting isn't. Unicorns tend to write more than non-unicorns (although I'll admit that Twilight certainly skews the average); add to that the necessity of making sure that when you're writing down a spell that the instructions are exact, and there probably would a different script between the unicorns and non-unicorns.
7109850
I wonder how many of those I can find on YouTube? Only one way to find out!
7109901
She's totally not.
7109906
7110004
Me, too, to be honest.
7110028
True. Incidentally, I am playing John Procter in The Crucible next month.
And some of them were pretty practical, in an era without modern understanding of things like contagious diseases.
7110052
Codpieces are awesome. I wish they'd come back into fashion.
That's a problem among Biblical scholars as well. Or ministers, or what have you.
7110059
Especially now that she has a glaive.
7110101
It's a safe bet she's seen them. After all, ponies don't normally wear pants.
7109850 Good choices, Doppler! She might also like anything with the Klingons (pegasi seem to also have a bit of a warrior culture history) like "Sins of the Father" (Season 3, Ep 17) or "The Chase" (Season 6, Ep 20), as it discusses the shared origins of the different races (and maybe it could put her unicorn bias in perspective).
Anyway, Admiral, another great chapter. I'm a bit surprised there wasn't more of a strong advantage for Silver's team, since I'd bet the other members wouldn't be able to cope with a flying opponent constantly swooping in and out of range. In fact, she doesn't talk that much at all about how she did, which was disappointing. Oh well, since it's a two day event, I guess there will be another chance for her to show her stuff.
Well I didn't think she would describe it like that...I remember her mentioning she wouldn't think of such words because of how she was raised. I think being around humans has corrupted her.
7110233
She didn't participate in the battle, she just watched it. I'm not sure if she'd be allowed to actually fight in a SCA event. That's something that the event organizers would have to consider very carefully.
7110233
I don't think she participated.
7110244
She's learning how to effectively use swear words in appropriate places. That's a very good skill to have.
Yeah, safety pins are most definitely not mouth-friendly. The very idea makes me wince.
Silver choosing a persona in an army that kicked unicorn ass. Why am I not surprised?
I like how it takes ribbon to make something into a proper pony weapon.
In all, looks like a grand time was had by all. I'm honestly a little jealous. Especially since I have never had the privilege of witnessing the man with the elephant codpiece.
7110253
7110254
Oh, whoops. Somehow I forgot about that!
Still, it'd be great to see her participate sometime down the road.
7110034 the closest place that did it was an hour away so I couldn't really do it. I did a lot of archery and martial arts and had a few friends who did Renaissance fencing.
7109603
7110180
Considering that many behaviors today humans have were adopted from our first friends/companions, wolves, including pack mentality, it could be a funny discussion. Ponny Heard vs Human "Wolf" Pack.
I want a side story about Silver Glow's adventures with donkey penis.
7110065
I suppose it would make a bit more sense for them to go to a closer one instead. It's just that SDCC is the biggest and most famous comic convention of all. It's the first one that comes to mind.
Hmmm... staying with the theme of understanding an alien being difficult: subconscious, people will try and make sense of their actions using familiar things.
Aric's know's she isn't just an animal, but I doubt his subconscious has gotten the message yet. Maybe he doesn't know his way around horses but knows cats? A cat will arch her back when you pet her while standing alongside you and rubbing her head on your leg affectionately, so it might just be a sign of comfort? She'll swish her tail when irritated though. Maybe if Silver had put her tail to the side slowly? A reference frame for that might be missing, engaging his conscious brain instead. Taboos might override the logical conclusion though.
I love this. ;)
You threw in the donkey thing and her antsiness for Aric just to weird us out of the preconceptions you, yourself, instilled in us earlier, didn't you?
This is quite interesting that in Equestria they still have about one third of the population undergoing obligatory military training in their youth, doesn't make it seem such a peaceful place anymore. I wonder how recently it's been necessary to raise such a potential militia to deal with an attack?
Lol. Summer sausage.
7110452 It's probably not "Equestria" so much as "Pegasus tradition."
7110065
Good point, this is a journal not an perfect record of what has happened.
7109737
But much more dapper.
7110124
I think you've nailed it. Unicorns are still the top of the heap in Canterlot, they're the equivalent of DC politicians and lobbyists. Earth ponies are the top of the heap in Manehatten, they're the equivalent of Wall Street financiers and CEOs.
That's why it makes sense as a prejudice, they're generally based on superficial, at a glance observations.
A sincere thank you to the commenters who recommended DGD Davidson's A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Pageant. Very much an enjoyable read, and exactly what I was looking for with regard to "ponies encounter human religion; hijinks ensue." Very well-written; I wish its prospects for seeing an ending were better. Are there any more stories like that?
7110258
But how did she know how big a donkey dick was?
7110207 Well sure! Though there's a HUGE difference between having your own language, and just having your own script.
A Script can be like Arial vs New Text Roman or maybe Cursive vs Non-Cursive.
It's hardly something like what you have with Japanese with Character Language vs Spoken Word.
7110180
Let me fire that under "The More You REALLY Don't Need To Know."
But the description really did give me a case of explosive laughter.
A few miscellaneous thoughts
The Star Trek movies, pretty much the entire series the even # ones tend to be WAY better than the odd #. On one episode of Big Bang Theory, Sheldon said # 5 was the worst. If it was worse than Star Trek III, In Search of Profits. Well, IDK how that's possible & I don't want to, either.
The James Bond movies, the current Bond is probably the best since Sean Connery. Although, maybe Goldfinger would be the best 1st Bond movie. IMO, Odd Job is one of the 2 best bond villains (Jaws is the other)
You go to college to learn. At my 1st keg party I learned you shouldn't mix beer & wine, you shouldn't drink stuff like Jungle Juice if you don't know what is in it (Koolaid & grain alcohol), & if you run out of Tequila for Sunrises you can make Grain Sunrises -but it is NOT a good idea)
Finally, for the game "Never have I Ever", she could try
[spoiler]1) Been baptized (Jews don't, obviously. IDK if Moslems do or don't)
2) Driven a car (Although, with the new computer controls, she probably could. IDK if that would count)
Finally, IDK how well ponies compare to earth horses & humans but to be vulgar, she's probably sucked bigger soda straws.
7111351
aand, I kind of screwed that up. I blame sleep deprivation. What I meant was their own alphabet (and I should have said that in the chapter text as well.
7110270
Actually, I can fasten and unfasten them with my teeth. I don't know why I learned to do that, but I can.
It was a glorious battle--of course she'd choose a persona in the unit that broke the unicorn army.
You can't just have a naked polearm. It's got to have a ribbon on it.
Words alone cannot describe the magnificence of his garb.
7110276
That's very much a possibility. Even if she can't do a legitimate battle, she could totally do a demo battle.
7110297
the closest place that did it was an hour away so I couldn't really do it. I did a lot of archery and martial arts and had a few friends who did Renaissance fencing.
That's a shame. When I was in college, I wasn't into it enough to pursue it, although now I wish I had been.
Still, I've got stage combat and that's almost as good. I could probably hunt down some SCA heavy fighters, too.
I did do fencing in college. One bout, I got a blade broken off on my chest. That was pretty cool.
7110366
I'll consider it. By which I mean I probably won't do it. But you never know! Sometimes I get drunk and write really dumb stuff.
7110367
I can't really think of a logical reason she'd choose that one, especially since she hates flying on airplanes.
There's one in Detroit; that would be a lot closer for her. It's coming up pretty soon, actually. A friend wants me to go, but it's a week before a play I'm in, so I don't know if I will.
7110375
Well, the original reply was somewhat in jest. Aric is unlikely to know the signs of horniness in a mare (I checked YouTube [and I can't post the links here, but trust me, they're there if you are interested in seeing how a mare in heat acts]).
That is something that as far as I know isn't covered in all that many stories--what are the tells? And what turns a mare on? Or a stallion? Most clopfics just have the two characters say 'let's bang,' and that's that. But realistically, there's be so much more to it than that. Rinnaul has a great one-shot where a female tries to hook up with Big Mac, and he just looks her over and says 'nope.'
Obviously, it gets more complicated when we're talking about sapient species, and throw interspecies in the mix, and things just get weird.
7110424
I have no idea what you're talking about.
bbsimg.ngfiles.com/1/25205000/ngbbs53f7ebb6e648a.gif
7110452
When was the last random monster attack?
I think for the pegasi, some of that would be tradition--of the three tribes, I think they're the most aggressive. But there's a practical value to knowing how to fight as well, and of understanding military discipline.
Here's a more interesting question: why is Rarity about the scrappiest of the Mane Six? For as prim and proper as she acts, whenever they get into a fight, she's about the first to go in swinging.
7110588
Eighteen inches of . . . you know what, I'm just going to stop right there.
7110639
Yes. Although, we have seen in canon ordinary ponies mount a defense against an enemy (that episode with the buffalo, and a scene in the comics both come to mind).
7110906
Not sure it 'dapper' applies with lounge pants.
And how come Fancy Pants doesn't wear pants?
7111228
DGD Davidson was one of my major influences, especially in the idea of making ponies more 'horse-like,' and in throwing in previous generations. I am sorely disappointed that A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Pageant never got finished, because I would be stealing ideas from that like crazy. I'm not ashamed to admit that.
I'm not aware of any other stories like that. I was working on a missionary goes to Equestria story, but I never finished it because I didn't think I could pull of the neutral narrator. If you're interested, it's HERE.
I would love to see another story done from this angle. Perhaps if I ever have the time, I'll collab with my dad on one.
7111289
She's seen 'em.
The where and why, I'll leave up to the reader's imagination for now.
7111474
One day, that's gonna be the final question on a game show, and you'll owe me big.
7111541
I've heard that. I can't say for #5; I can't remember if I've seen it. I think I did, but I don't know for sure.
You shouldn't finish that fifth of Jack, you shouldn't drink tequila ever, and if you only have a bottle of dry vermouth you have nothing.
I played that once with my friends. Turns out that was a terrible mistake. I lost. Badly.
#1: Ooh, that might be a good one, assuming she knows what the ritual is.
#2: There's a non-zero possibility she will have by the end of the story.
I've actually crunched the numbers on that. Between eight and eighteen inches, depending on what calculations you use. I can PM details if you're really curious.