December 15 [Playalinda Beach]
December 15
I woke up in the middle of the night when the bus stopped outside Mobile, which is in Alabama. And that was a new state so I woke both Aquamarine and Cayenne up so that we could see it because we'd decided that it only counted if you were awake in it. Cayenne was a little bit grouchy about being woken up and didn't see what was so special about being at a Valero, even if it was in Alabama. Me and Aquamarine liked it, though, and we got up and walked around the tarmac a little bit until our driver got back, and then we got back in the bus and fell asleep again.
I woke up a couple more times during the night, and I'd put my head up to see out the window, or to look around the bus. Our helpers were all asleep with their chairs tilted back some and Miss Parker was stretched out on the other couch with a blanket over her.
One time when I woke up, we were in a big city and I didn't want to move around and wake up anypony else so I couldn't really see much of it except for lots of lights and we went under a bunch of bridges and sometimes there were tall buildings close enough to the highway that I could see them and other times I couldn't see much of anything.
I finally woke up and stayed up when it was light out, and I pushed the covers off of me and got out of the couch and on the floor where I could stretch out and Mister Salvatore was already awake and he went to the coffee faucet and got me a cup to drink. And he was smart and didn't fill it up all the way, 'cause it was kind of sloshy with the bus moving.
Aquamarine got up next and it wasn't too long after that that we stopped at another gas station called Chevron so that everyone could get out and stretch and pee. The bathrooms were for one person or pony at a time, so we had to line up and wait, and we didn't wake up Cayenne until everyone else had had a turn, 'cause it would be kind of mean to wake her up and then have her wait in line.
We were just north of a town called Gainesville, and then we were going to drive a bit further and stop at a Cracker Barrel for breakfast, and just hearing that name made my ear twitch a little bit and Miss Cherilyn petted my mane and said that we could stop somewhere else if we wanted to, but it was okay to eat there. I'd liked the last breakfast I'd eaten at the Kalamazoo Cracker Barrel.
Cayenne thought that Cracker Barrel was neat because of all the different things that they had for sale in their little store and we bought some candy sticks there. They had all sorts of flavors and I liked the peppermint one and Cayenne liked the cinnamon flavor 'cause it was hot. Aquamarine liked the licorice one the best but I thought that it was kind of bitter. And then she also got some atomic fireballs that we could each try once we'd eaten our candy sticks, but we didn't wind up eating them because we were pretty full from breakfast and the candy sticks had been a little much sugar especially for early in the morning. Maybe if we had been able to trot around some and burn off that energy it would have been all right, but we weren't going to be able to do that until the bus arrived in Orlando.
It was a little more than an hour between the Cracker Barrel and Orlando, and it was really green and there were lots of trees and open pastures and most of them had cows and there were a couple with horses in them and we waved even though they couldn't see us. And we also saw a couple of orange groves and the trees were covered with oranges even though it was December.
Then we got into the city and it was really big like Chicago and there was a bunch of traffic so we had to slow down and we kept looking out the windows for Walt Disney World but we couldn't see it, although we did see some signs saying how to get there. Finally Mister Salvatore told us that it was a little ways south of town, and we wouldn't be going by it.
We were staying in the Aloft hotel which was in downtown Orlando near the airport. And it was a tall white hotel and inside it had writing all over the reception desk which Cayenne said was supposed to be modern, but it was silly because you couldn't read all of it. Swak wasn't even a word. The chairs that they had didn't look like they were very comfortable, either, and I thought that if you leaned back in them you'd fall over, since they were already half-tipped.
Our helpers had their own suite and we got a room that was on the top floor so that we had a good view, and it had only one big bed in it, which was nice. There was room to stretch out if we wanted and we wouldn't have to decide which bed we wanted to use. And that left us with a bit more space that wasn't beds, too.
The bathroom had one of the nice walk-in showers and we were all looking forward to that. It was kind of silly to be showering before going to the beach, but none of us felt like we were clean. I don't know why sleeping on a couch in a bus was different than sleeping in a bed, but it was. Maybe it was just because there wasn't a blanket under us, just the couch cushions.
So we put our bags over in the corner of the room and then I went and turned on the shower to give it a little bit of time to warm up and then we all took a shower together and we took our time, 'cause we'd all kind of rushed on the train and it had been crowded and now we had plenty of room, and we didn't have to worry about using up all the hot water or getting knocked over, either.
We weren't in a real big hurry, 'cause the beach was going to be nice to see but we probably weren't going to do much except for relax on it and I was going to fly some and maybe see if I could catch some sand crabs to snack on. Florida was supposed to have good beaches.
I was a little worried about being hot—Cayenne was keeping her coat short, 'cause unicorns were vain about that, but me and Aquamarine had let ours get shaggy and that was nice for Michigan but it wasn't going to be as fun here. Since we could cool down in the water whenever we wanted to, though, it wouldn't be too bad I didn't think.
When we were done washing off we groomed in front of the window so that we could look out at the city. Our room looked down on the highway which wasn't that great a view—it looked like every other highway I'd seen—but across from that there were a couple of nice ponds that we could look at, and one of them had swans paddling around on it. Swans were pretty to look at but they were kind of mean so you didn't want to get too close to them 'cause they might pick a fight.
There wasn't much that we really had to bring for a day at the beach. I thought that I should take my flight gear 'cause I knew that we were near an airport and they might want me to wear it, and if I didn't have to I could leave it behind. Aquamarine didn't think that she'd need anything at all, and Cayenne decided that she was going to pack some of her makeup and a little mirror so if it came off in the water she could put it back on, and she wanted to take her brush and she thought she should take a couple of towels, too, so she'd have something to lie on and not get sand in her coat. And she had some sunglasses that she could wear to keep the sun out of her eyes and she said that we were going to wish that we had them too, until I blinked my third eyelid down.
The towels were a smart thing to think of, so me and Aquamarine each got one, too. They were still damp from us drying off but that was okay.
So we went back downstairs to the lobby and we had to make sure we had everything out of the bus before it left, 'cause it had to go back to New Orleans to bus other people around.
Mister Salvatore was happy though because he got a big black Suburban with lots of antennas on it, and he got to drive it instead of having to ride along with anyone else. And I thought that maybe Mister Barrow would want to drive, too, but he said that Mister Salvatore could do all the driving.
So we all got in—us three ponies sat in the very back—and Mister Salvatore drove us to a Golden Corral, which was a buffet like the dining hall, and we could get whatever we wanted. They only had a couple of different kinds of fish, and one of them was the square fish that I didn't trust. They also had a seafood salad and I told Aquamarine and Cayenne to not try that because it would give you the trots.
We didn't want to eat too much 'cause it wasn't fun to be on the beach with a really full belly, and when we were done we got back on the road and stopped again at a grocery store called Winn-Dixie where we could get some snacks for the beach. Our helpers bought two cases of bottled water to drink, too, because you couldn't drink seawater without getting sick.
Orlando stretched out for a while, and then it just ended kind of suddenly, and we were in open land. There weren't very many farms; it was mostly flat grassy pastureland. Miss Parker said that most of Florida was just a big sandbar and so a lot of places if you dug down a little bit all you'd find was sand and she said that some of Florida wasn't very good for growing crops and she thought that maybe that was how it was here. But grasses looked like they were doing all right, so that was something that you could grow at least.
We passed through a couple of small towns and a white building that had lots of banners and offered airboat rides and they even had painted that on their roof. I didn't know what an airboat was and Mister Salvatore said that it was a flat-bottomed boat that used a big propeller to move around on the water and they took tours of the swamps and that sounded like it would be fun and we all wanted to do that, and he said that he'd make it happen, but it wasn't gonna be today.
Then we went through a city called Titusville and across a big causeway, and Mister Salvatore pointed to a building called the Kennedy Space Center that had a big rocket on a pedestal and they had a museum and tomorrow they were going to launch a rocket into space and we could watch that, and I was really looking forward to that. And he said that to the south was Cape Canaveral that was where the rocket launchpads were.
Then we angled off to the northeast and drove for a while, until we came to a road that paralleled the ocean and followed that past a bunch of little parking lots that were kind of crowded, but as we got further and further north there were fewer cars and we finally stopped at a parking lot that was at the very end of the road.
The beach itself was a thin stretch of land that went along the coast of Florida, and on the landward side there were pools and lagoons that had manatees in them and also they might have alligators. And there were sometimes sharks in the water, too, but there were some towers with lifeguards on them that could watch out for sharks. And even if it was true that sharks would get you if you went into the water too soon after eating, it had been longer than that since we ate.
There was plenty of room to explore, 'cause the beach ran for miles and it was all federal land, Mister Barrow said, so it wasn't like South Haven where you couldn't go too far before you got to the fences.
So we thought that we'd go up the beach a little bit until we saw a spot that looked good to us, and our helpers followed along, and after a little while we decided that maybe we shouldn't go much further 'cause they looked like they were hot and they had a lot of things that they were carrying with them.
We found a spot that nobody else had claimed and they started setting out their things. They'd brought a big umbrella that kept the sun off, and Mister Barrow stuck it in the sand, and then Miss Parker took off her clothes and she had swimming underwear under that, and then all our helpers got a little bit undressed. Mister Salvatore even took his suit jacket off.
We didn't have to take any clothes off, so we just put our towels down and me and Cayenne put our saddlebags on top of them so that they wouldn't blow away and then we galloped down the beach and went right into the water, and we got met with a wave pretty quickly which knocked us all down and then when we got back up we were all giggling like schoolfillies and waded out a little bit deeper in the water, until we were far enough out that the waves weren't breaking over us and as the swells went under they lifted our hooves all the way off the seabed.
Then we paddled out a little bit further, until we were past where we could touch the bottom at all. And I started diving and swimming around and there weren't too many fish who liked being right in the surf, so I didn't see any when my head was under the water.
After we'd had our fun, we got out of the water and shook off and then went up to where our towels were and relaxed a little bit, and then once my wings were mostly dry I wanted to explore. And I didn't feel like wearing all my flight gear so I called the Orlando airplane directors and they said that as long as I stayed below five hundred feet over the beach and the park that was behind it I could fly wherever I wanted to.
So I asked Aquamarine and Cayenne if they wanted to come with me, just to be polite, and neither of them did, so I took off and went north. Every now and then, I'd see a little cluster of people and I waved at them as I went by, and then just kept flying on.
I'd kind of drifted away from the beach a little bit 'cause there was a big pool of water just behind the beach and I was looking at that to see if I could find any manatees. I wasn't exactly sure what they looked like except that they were grey and pretty big and Mister Barrow and Miss Cherilyn had both said that I'd know one when I saw one. And I thought that maybe they were pulling my tail, 'cause I wasn't seeing anything that was very interesting, until I finally spotted a big grey manatee swimming just below the surface, and it seemed like once I'd seen the first one I just kept seeing them everywhere.
They were supposed to be kind of friendly and playful and so maybe we'd take some time away from the beach and cross over the road and see if we could get any close enough to the shore that Aquamarine and Cayenne could play with it. I didn't know what they liked to eat, but if we had anything that they wanted, we might be able to use some food to lure them closer to shore.
I turned back to the beach and flew out over the ocean some, still going north, and when I was coming back I saw a big cluster of people and they looked a little bit funny and as I got closer I saw that none of them were wearing swimming clothes or anything else, which was strange because there had been a sign as we went on the beach saying that clothing was required and Mister Salvatore said that it didn't apply to ponies but he hadn't said anything about people.
I circled over them once just to make sure that I wasn't imagining it, and they were still there and still not wearing anything. And they waved at me and I waved back and I thought that I should meet them but then I also thought that maybe Aquamarine and Cayenne would want to, too, so I flew back south to get them.
Well, they didn't believe me at first, but I convinced them that I really had seen people sunbathing and playing naked and Cayenne really wanted to see and Aquamarine was a little curious, too. And we told our helpers that we were going to go and look, and Miss Parker said that she was going to come with us.
I wanted to fly along ahead but I walked on the sand with Aquamarine and Cayenne. We kept right by the ocean's edge, 'cause it was easier to walk on the wet sand. Miss Parker stayed a little bit further up on the beach so she wouldn't get her shoes wet.
Walking, it felt like it was a lot further than it had been when I was flying, and I was starting to wonder if maybe they'd gone away, but then we came around a little curve in the beach and saw them, and they were still a ways off. Most of them were lying down on the beach which made it harder to see them from a distance, 'cause some humans sort of blend in with sand, and then when we got close they were a little bit hesitant around Miss Parker but they didn't seem to mind us.
She stayed a little ways back and set up her blanket and laid back on it, and pretty soon we'd all introduced ourselves.
They were all college kids who had come down to Florida for their winter break—they were from New Hampshire and they'd heard about this being a nude beach and they had been a little bit discouraged by the signs that they saw but they had found out on their portable telephones that nobody would bother them if they stayed out of the way, so they'd gone past everyone else and they hadn't seen anyone until I flew over.
And they wanted to know where we were from, so we told them and they were kind of disappointed that this was probably going to be our only time at this beach and that we'd be going back to Equestria really soon, so we decided that we ought to make the most of the time that we had here and so we played with them and sat on the beach and talked and they shared some of their food with us. Miss Parker just stayed where she was, and every now and then she'd talk on a little radio that she had. I think that she was reassuring the helpers that we'd left behind that everything was okay.
Me and Aquamarine kind of felt bad that she was all by herself and so I went over and told her that she could come closer if she wanted and our new friends said that she could stay in her swimsuit, and she was sort of hesitant to but she finally did.
I got to fly back to everyone else a couple of times to bring water and food, 'cause Miss Parker said that it wasn't fair to just drink their water since they hadn't planned for us to be there with them. And one time when I was coming back with full saddlebags I decided to land and catch some sand crabs to snack on, so I went right down by the water and scraped at the sand until I found some, and then I stomped on them before they could get away and ate them and they were really good.
When I got back, Aquamarine went up away from the ocean so she could look at the plants that grew there and she decided that there were a couple of grasses we could eat, too, but they were really tough and dry and none of us liked them too much. I think we'd gotten a bit spoiled eating all the good human food all the time, 'cause the beachgrasses in Equestria probably tasted about the same, and I snacked on those a lot, especially when I wasn't hungry enough to try and catch a fish or a sand crab.
We went out in the water and played some with the students, both swimming around and also floating around. They had inflatable rafts that bobbed in the water and they were only big enough for one person, but we could float next to them and talk, and Alan let me use his for a little while while he hung on to the side. It was kind of hard to get on, 'cause it kept trying to get away from me and I didn't have any ground to push against, and he wound up having to help me get on it.
They set up a sort-of volleyball game in the afternoon—they didn't have a proper net so they just made a line in the sand that was the boundary and we had to imagine where the net would be and if a shot might have gone over it or not. So there were occasional arguments about that but it was mostly pretty civil, and we even got Miss Parker to join us and she was pretty good at volleyball.
She said that she was on the varsity volleyball team when she was in high school but hadn't played it much since then, and it was good to know that she hadn't forgotten everything about the game.
It was kind of weird seeing her, just 'cause she was the only one wearing clothes.
Once we'd finished our game we rinsed off in the ocean and then we sat on towels and relaxed for a little while and looked out over the ocean, and it was weird to think that it could have been Equestria, because when I was looking out over the sea I couldn't see anything human-made. It was a strange feeling.
Cayenne said that the ocean kind of scared her because it was like looking off into a void, and she was afraid that she might drift away and nobody would ever find her again.
And even though we should have gone back sooner, we wanted to stay until the stars came out and Miss Parker said it was okay if we did as long as we didn't mind walking back in the dark. So we all gathered the blankets and towels around and sat in a loose little group watching out over the ocean as the sun set behind us, and pretty soon you could see one star then another and then they came out in the hundreds.
They started to put their clothes back on 'cause with the sun down it started to get chilly. Melanie kept hers off the longest, 'cause me and Aquamarine were sitting right next to her to help her stay warm, and it was getting pretty dark and I was a little bit worried about finding our way back. Way down on the beach I could see a fire, which looked like it was past where our other helpers had been. But we decided to wait until the moon came up and I was glad that we had, 'cause watching the moon rise over the ocean was beautiful, and it looked so big when it came up over the horizon, so we stayed and watched until it was up in the sky where it belonged.
Our new friends got dressed and Miss Parker helped them gather up their beach things, and then we all walked back down the beach to where our helpers were. And when we finally got back to there we had to say our goodbyes which was sad, but we'd had lots of fun together and we'd started out strangers and ended up friends, so it had been a good day.
We stopped in Titusville at a Tiki bar called Crackerjacks and they were right on a causeway which was kind of neat because it was almost like being on a boat. They had a lot of different kinds of seafood and I got grouper which was a local fish and it was really good. And Mister Salvatore bought us all bottles of Corona because he said it was the thing that you were supposed to drink on the beach, and it came with a wedge of lime stuck in the bottle. And then we got back in the Suburban and drove back to Orlando and we were all pretty tired when we went up to our hotel room. And when we got there we realized that we’d left our towels in the Suburban, but when we went into the bathroom we found out that the hotel had given us more.
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Mr Salvatore is trying to win the bet on who has the most E Gear, his buisiness truck, or a Russian fishing trawler.
The launch is a Falcon 9, or a Heavy? Because theres something you just dont realise until you get close, is just how monstrously immensely huge the structures round Kennedy actually are.
Given Silver can fly up to one of the F1 engines on the laid down Saturn, and climb inside the chamber.
So much fun on the beach, an agent for all occasions. I hope they get to ride the airboats before they go back, because theres only one other hypertech left after that, competition hovercraft.
Miss Parker, why are you wearing shoes on the beach?
7954719
They're flip-flops, but Silver Glow isn't all that conversant on shoe types.
When a rocket lifts off, it's silent.
Until the sound reaches you, beating on your chest.
When was that Disney alligator incident?
That's one possible difference in this AU. Since they KNOW there are aliens, does the Space program get more $? Or, are they trying to go sideways (so to speak) instead of up? Or, is the portal system strictly magic & thus under EQ control? (If so, THAT probably does NOT sit well with a lot of folks) I wonder if there are Pony Deniers on the web? & I'd bet there are Saucer Nuts claiming EQ has been in contact with Earth for decades & the government covered it up. (Ancient Greek saying: "Against stupidity the Gods themselves contend in vain." To which I add "The Internet proves it")
Ah, Florida. The state shaped like a penis. Cayenne should be in heaven there.
Swans in a nutshell:
7954808 The author hasn't really addressed the ramifications of first contact.
No one expected meeting less technologically advanced aliens.
Is the Fermi paradox still a thing? How come there aren't more aliens?
I would think the Physics funding would quadruple trying to reconcile The Standard Model to include Unicorn Magic.
7954791
It was back in June 2016.
7954881
There is probably a popular meme
SOMEHOW, This Is ALL The Government's Fault & They Need To Fix It Right Now!
No no no! It counts even if you are asleep! It doesn't make much of a conversation, but "I woke up, looked through the window and then got back to sleep." don't really amount to much more...
Who is Alan? And Melanie?
Usually Silver introduce people before naming them in her journal, no?
Since these ponies are interested in NASA, they can watch "Hidden Figures". "Hidden Figures" takes some liberties with the timeline (it compresses events so that they all take place in 1961-1962 (Miss Dorothy Vaughan was promoted to supervisor of West Computing in 1949 and many events other events happened either before or after the timeframe of the movie). Its general release was 2016-12-25 (it had a limited release on 2016-12-10, but the ponies probably could not get into those screenings).
There are at least a couple times Miss Parker is referred to as Miss Barrow. I'd quote them, but I'm on my phone.
7954808 Germans have a better one.
"Herr, lass Hirn herab"
"Lord, bring brains unto the world /fling brains down from heaven"
it has a priceless followup.
"...oder nimm Steine, hauptsache es trifft die selben"
"or take rocks if you will, so as long as you hit the same people."
DIDNEY WORL—
No DIDNEY WORL yet...
If by "Kind of mean", you mean biting the
out of anyone who enters its territory, then yes.
Mustang Man and his FBI Suburban. Welp.
Changeling spotted!
Aww yiss!
7954881
Who knows? Maybe that's what so-called Dark Energy is?
Just on the Internet. Turns out, IRL NASA has no protocol for First Contact with intelligent aliens. I wonder if they do in this AU (Carrots! Lots and lots of carrots + maybe some sugar lumps)
Also, all Earth life is made of 20 amino acids. There are thousands of chemically similar compounds that might be used -but aren't. Now, biologists can say, "Well, that just happened" But, with Ponies being able to eat Earth food, I'd bet there is a HUGE controversy. Parallel Evolution (& whyfore that is (Creationism vs Those Are Just The Best Acids)) vs Previous Contact & I'd bet major DNA research to try & find out. Magic is bad enough but at least the Physicists are (mostly) leaving God out of it (The God Particle doesn't count)
If you think about it, the odds of that just happening have got to be astronomical. It might be why contact has been so slow -just too dangerous for EQ visitors (Humans have a distressing tendency towards violence with those they disagree with)
7954691
Vehicle is probably a loaner from the DEA
7954741 they're still annoying. I take them off immediately. And they work better on wet sand.
7956504
Strange, because my second thought was that the only other vehicles treated the same way, are dealers.
And I dont mean Used Cars.
Parker, Parker, Parker.
Huzzah! Silver Glow finally got some sand crabs!
I...may have been to that very Valero. In driving from Florida to Louisiana, I did stop for gas in Alabama.
I hate it when people do that. I once saw someone try that to get away with parking badly in a handicapped parking space. Even if a car was broken down, it could only have gotten there if it wasn't broken down at the time.
I remember coming to work one day and seeing a monster truck and a rocket-powered fire truck in the parking lot. That was one of the more unusual sights I've seen at work.
I haven't seen in the comments; are we going to get any post-return chapters as she settles back into Equestria?
Insert joke about Maud Pie here.
Insert joke about the university's waffle maker here.
I'm drawing a blank here. I can't remember who that is and there are too many chapters in this story for me to go back and look.
Correction: they TRY to keep the water out during storms. Of course, I assume the current levees are far better-designed and better-built than the ones they had a dozen years ago.
Why would the name Cracker Barrel make Silver nervous? I'm probably missing some context here.
7970720
I believe that's Sean's girlfriend, and she was usually at the same table as Silver and Peggy in the college dining hall. Also helpful is the dramaturge. Link is in the description of this story page. (quick link here ) Though it would have been nice if there was a little bit more description of the various characters there. I think that's possible w/o too much spoiling, if not a bit of work.
7980384 The last time she went to a Cracker Barrel, there was a shooting later in the day.
7954691
Yes, of course he is. What good is having a truck if you can't track missiles with it?
It was an Atlas V.
They probably discourage people--and ponies--from getting inside the business end of a rocket.
Of course they ride the airboats--the ponies want to, and Mister Salvatore wants to.
7954791
And if you're close enough, I bet the ground shakes, too. While I've never been near a rocket launch, I've been by a few trains at full throttle, and also ships going through narrow passageways, and neither of those have the power of a rocket.
7954808
Probably NASA gets more money, especially if the ponies have told them that there are other intelligent races on other planets (assuming that the ponies know, of course)
The current portal system is strictly magic, and thus under EQ control, and you can bet your ass that every resourceful government is trying like hell to reverse-engineer it.
Given that there are chemtrailers and flat-earthers, I'd say that there would be pony deniers on the web.
Also without a doubt. And they'd actually have some evidence on their side, since most of the creatures in Equestria have been described in Greek myth (and possibly others) so they could say that that was evidence of contact, and it would be hard to argue against it. Even if the ponies said that they'd never been to Earth before.
7954860
Ah, Florida. The state shaped like a penis. Cayenne should be in heaven there.
Yes, it's her kind of state, at least in terms of its shape.
I wonder if anybody makes a Florida sex toy?
(A quick Google search says no, but there is a Dildo Key in Florida)
Basically, yes. Swans are pretty, and also right bastards. Not unlike Mel Gibson.
7954881
That's true, I haven't. That's not something that Silver Glow is personally very interested in.
Nobody would. Man, that would turn things on their head, wouldn't it? ("Spaceships? We haven't even invented airplanes yet.")
Maybe they don't know how to get to Earth. If we go by comic canon as well as show and movie canon, the ponies know of at least three worlds besides their own (dinosaur world, mirror world, and Equestria Girls world). Possibly more, but I'm too lazy to go looking for the comic right now.
Oh yeah, without a doubt. Ponies like Cayenne don't have to worry a bit about the cost of their housing or education; research universities would be throwing piles of money at ponies to try and get them into their labs.
While it never came up in the story, getting Silver Glow into a wind tunnel probably paid for that entire vacation and then some. They would have given him a wheelbarrow full of cash if he'd asked.
7954974
Don't worry, Donald Trump is going to build a wall to keep the pegasuses out, and he's going to make them pay for it.
7954986
Ponies have their own way of counting what states they've been to.
Yes, usually she did, although this time she forgot. They're two of the nudists from New Hampshire.
7955012
That's a movie I'm interested in seeing myself. I'm actually considering at some point, in some story, having a pony who's a calculator. Just haven't found the right occasion for it yet.
I did have a story where it got mentioned that a pony was in the typing pool of a Manehattan corporation.
7955173
Thanks! I fixed it
7955267
Reminds me of the Irish saying: "Lord, turn their hearts, or if you can't turn their hearts, turn their ankles, so we'll know them by their limping."
7955478
Yeah, they're little winged demons. So are Canada Geese, for that matter.
The Mustang's for fun, and the Suburban is for serious bidness.
Corrections made, thank you!
Soon.
7955699
That's what I think.
7956500
Doubt that they do. Probably ponies just showed up one day and everyone flipped the f
k out. And then cobbled together a first-contact plan on the fly, and were lucky as all get-out that ponies aren't interested in conquering Earth and also aren't all that easily offended.
Yeah, for ultimate realism things would be too different to work out at all, but that doesn't make for a good story. Hell, odds are that the atmospheres might be completely incompatible, and would kill any explorer who happened to visit.
Although if the ponies were looking for other worlds to visit, odds are that they'd only focus on the ones that were habitable to them. Just like we're looking for Earth-like planets, even though for all we know there are thousands of Venus-like planets that have advanced civilizations on them.
Well, yes, there's that, too. Although ponies do tend to be fairly optimistic about making new friends.
7956504
:rainbowlagh:
Nah, it's a genuine FBI issue. All the government agencies love Suburbans.
7956528
Yeah, I tend to go barefoot, too. But not everyone does, from what I've seen on beaches.
Crocs are popular, too, but I'm predisposed to dislike anyone who wears them.
7957241
All fixed, thank you!
7958784
The joy of being on an actual beach (for her, at least). They're crunchy and tasty!
7960081
Is there anywhere you haven't been?
7970720
I'll confess to having done that a time or two, although never in a handicap space--that's just being an asshole. Actually, having a truck that looks like a contractor's truck means that the police often don't notice you--I got away with parking in lots of places I shouldn't have.
When I worked at a dealership, we had a Zamboni come in for repairs once. That was pretty cool.
I've worked with people who have road-legal monster trucks, at several shops, but nobody's showed up yet with a rocket-powered fire truck.
Seriously, Earth gemstones are small and pathetic compared to the ones the ponies have.
If it ain't broke, don't . . . oh, it's broke? Again?
Sean's girlfriend who likes Star Wars, punching him in the shoulder, and eating her Fruit Loops T Rex style.
That might not be a good assumption. As far as I know, they haven't all been fixed yet.
Ponies always want to go by horsepower. And they get to look at horse butts.
7980384
Yup, like 7989913 said, the one and only time Silver Glow ate at a Cracker Barrel, that night an Uber driver killed a couple people there (with a gun, not his car).
>> Jphyper
You are correct
Yeah, I was always a bit torn on how much to put in about the characters so that it wasn't major spoilers for the story, especially for someone who started late and was referring to it. I probably could have put a bit more in . . . I did try to separate them into groups, but maybe I should have put more for major characters, at least.
8030997
I saw those guys early spring/very late winter 2013 along the Sammamish River in Redmond. Huge bastards.
8031031
And they poop like champions. You really need to look where you're stepping around them.
8032845
Given their size, I'm not surprised. =x
Sorry, Mr. Salvatore. Dodge anything beats your Suburban black and blue. And blue isn't government issue.
8075201
Dodge doesn't make anything like a Suburban, and never has. The Trail Duster was at best a re-warmed Blazer.
Ford did okay with the Expedition (or was it the Excursion; I could never remember which was which). And, of course, IH tried, too.
i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--4Gbzbx_i--/c_scale,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/689570821613540268.jpg
But if you wanna do it right, you've got to have a Suburban.
pre12.deviantart.net/9ab4/th/pre/f/2014/001/d/3/suburban_by_admiral_biscuit-d70fiwl.jpg
(this one's mine)
8180103
Correction made; thank you!
I wonder if the nudists realized the nice lady was a cop :)
8362208
They might not be old enough or streetwise enough to recognize one right away; on the other hand, she's got her radio that she's using to talk to the other three, so. . . .
8030997
I dunno' what Silver's so hesitant for; she's got far superior biteyness on her side. And friends! They can bite too!
Just imagine her wading into a flock of swans, laying all about with those chompers, and driving the devilbirdies off so she can have the pond to herself. Lookit how self-satisfied that birdpone is now that she's got her own pond! Bite their feathers off!
8495864
You know, Silver Glow never did think to be a duck pony.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/10/8/1267455__safe_artist-colon-duckponies_artist-colon-whatsapokemon_oc_oc-colon-fuselight_oc-colon-jade+shine_oc+only_baby+duck+syndrome_bandaid_dialogue_.png
That's about as good a day as it gets for ponies, isn't it? Fun on the beach, no one gets eaten by monsters, and you make lots of new friends! #FIM !
9338899
I would say so, yes. About a perfect day, really.
8032845
So, fun trivia, the town where I grew up had a small lake/large pond that the public park was built around. The water would routinely be closed to public use because the water was unsafe to swim in thanks to it being too heavily contaminated. Not by any usual, human made, let's fuck up the world pollution, but just from how much damn goose crap got dumped in it from migrating flocks.
Well, not openly.........
Well, should be something like this.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!! It's okay, they are really low tech, they can't invade or take us out. But, their leaders can just casually through a SUN at us... AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wait, wait, they just want to be friends? And.... holy shit what is that one doing, why is the paper flying around? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Is, is that one FLYING!? AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just, just, how do we keep them happy!?"
Well, the massive dumpster fire of fail that was... that.... comic..... did explicitly state the worst used mirror universe EVER! was just one of many such worlds Starswirl made trips to, and the whole problem was Tia getting an idiot ball or ten rammed up her naughty bits and spending so much time in just one specific alternate world, which... fucked everything up... somehow....
You do NOT want to see what they do to get seats in the hall anytime Twilight gives a lecture on magic.
And she had so much fun doing it too, so double bonus, they are eager to help out and play along. Just need to get them to the places.
Now I have the image of the ponies all bouncing up and down going "Please, please please?" And then cut to him joining the group doing the same to get the other agents to go along.
Yeah, we know Flat Earthers are idiots, but they refuse to accept the single, undisputed fact that proves them wrong on the most fundamental level that they refuse to explain.
i.pinimg.com/originals/b6/b4/ae/b6b4ae7cb48274d0b42c03569fc54a0f.jpg
Well, in both cases it would have been so long ago, neither side has records.
Well, it's only Alabama, so, not like you'd have missed much if you'd slept through it.
Cute pony is too Curiocited to sleep.
Good servant, get your pony some coffee!
Also good servant's, comfort twitchy pony!
D'awww wave to the silly giant foals.
They know what matters, get to that magical kingdom!
What, not going there yet? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Stop teasing us story!
Practical pony, why ruin a perfectly good desk by covering it in writing you can't even read?
Treat the ponies to the best rooms. Also, having balconies is a bonus, can avoid having to take the stairs or risk pegasus panic attacks.
And they learn, ponies just need one big bed, not beds for everypony.
Because the couch buses aren't meant to be slept on and aren't fashioned to do so comfortably, beds are.
Killer, flesh craving pony already plotting her spree of wanton crustacean slaying.
Silver, you're anti-unicorn-ism is showing again. Maybe having a long coat gives too many places for her pleasure slaves to grab and pull that hurt. Or it's too warm under her lab coats, or too risky around all the SCIENCE they do around her.
Yeah, Swans are assholes.
Granted, just because you are being a tribalaist, prejudicial pony, doesn't mean you aren't right about this particular unicorn being vain.
Well, yeah, towels are a good thing to bring to the beach.
Built in eye protection from glares. #pegaperks
Granted, usually you bring your own towels, not steal hotel towels. But, they are ponies, all they desire they claim.
In the future, whole groups of exchange ponies will come to Earth knowing that Taco Bell is the greatest restaurant on Earth, and that Square Fish is to never be trusted.
Also that seafood salad gives you the trots.
Ponies aren't quite feline enough to drink seawater it seems. And yes, cats can drink seawater safely, their kidneys are that damn good.
Pony needs are very simple, long as some tasty grass can grow there, they can be happy.
Ponies see fun thing, of course pony want's to do fun thing.
And of course flying pony is excited to see big rocket go flying.
Well, I doubt many pools have both manatees AND alligators so, just stick to the ones with the silly sea cow things.
Well, true, but watching out for sharks isn't really their main job.
Silly pone, people need to stop telling you stuff to troll you only for you to believe it. Sharks don't care if you've ate or not. Now, if you were bleeding.....
Ponies are in charge, but they are kind overlords who don't want to push their servants too hard. ALL HAIL THE CUDDLEQUEST!
Damn, just, damn, the suit jacket came off, Mr. Salvatore really is on vacation.
Polite, if odd pony. "Wanna come with me as I fly non-flying ponies?"
Pony must play with friendly playful new animals! So long as they aren't small enough and fishy enough to nom.
So many signs are going to need to be updated to include exceptions for ponies. I'm surprised Silver never had the crisis of really wanting to go into a store, but the sign saying she needed a shirt and shoes, and her being all upset at not wearing ponyshoes.
Of course Silver manages to home right in on the naked humans. She's better then Cayenee at this.
Granted, once she knows about them, promiscuous pony is all about seeing this naked humans.
Have a fed tail you to go see people being naked on a public beach, this is a good idea.
Gee, woner why she would make them nervous. Good thing ponies are hear to be Pony at make them forget about her.
One of the 'rules' that Silver never really manages to accept, being far to lawful Good. Just because it's against the rules, doens't mean you'll get in trouble for it if no one gives a crap if you do it anyway.
Of course all humans want spend more time with ponies.
Ponies so caring and wanting all friends to be friends, and so oblivious to things like, maybe the fed isn't the best choice to have around a group of people breaking the law.
The flesh craving has returned, pony must sate herself with blood!
So many things to say about her critique of the beach grass. Yes, maybe a bit spoiled on humans foods, but, the grass really might just be bad, who knows what gets dumped in there.
Yeah, pool floaties do tend to need to be beaten into submission for you to get on to of them.
As weird as her being the only one with clothes is for you, this has got to be even weirder for her.
Cayenne is very much not a seapony. Also, how many times did she duck out of sight for a few minutes to get laid here?
Yay furry warm ponies helping to keep nakey time going!
Fun day where you got to meet new friends, a good pony day!
And still silly ponies, thinking those towel were all you got, they do not get how hotels work.
9423312
That’s happened to some smaller lakes around here, too. I think the lake in Hawk Island Park and Lake Lansing have been closed to swimming for that reason, and possibly the one in Delta Township, I can’t remember what it’s called.
True.
I think that’s exactly how it would be, and you’d also have the religious fundamentalists freaking out for their own reasons, UFO enthusiasts losing their s
t, science-deniers claiming that it’s all fake, tons of people trying to figure out how to use ponies to their own advantage . . . in other words, it would be a complete mess at first, and only slightly simmer down over the next few year to more tolerable levels of crazy.
Probably she’s not allowed to profit from them, which is too bad for her; on the other hand, ticket fees would pay for the entire exchange program. Easily.
Those are the kinds of synergy that the helpers try to achieve. It’s something that scientists want, and it’s something that Silver Glow is more than willing to do. Likewise things like letting her be a storm chaser, that lets her fly in some weather conditions she wouldn’t normally be able to, but wants to because it’s what she did back home, and everybody wins by letting her do it.
I think it’s unlikely that Mr. Salvatore would be jumping up and down with them; more likely, as soon as they asked, he’d just say yes. He mostly does what he wants to with the ponies, especially if it’s also what they want to do (like riding in a snowstorm in the Mustang with the top down).
I think they explain that away by the giant ice wall that surrounds the earth and keeps the oceans in.
Unless, of course, you consider myth. And in some cases, it turns out that the myth had a basis in fact, so . . .
Having never been there myself, I can’t say from experience. I do suspect it’s not as boring as Kansas.
Of course she is.
She has the best helpers.
You’ve got to wonder what they think about it. If they notice, they’re probably wondering why the ponies get to ride in a bus and all they get is a lousy trailer.
The Mouse kingdom.
Exactly--she doesn’t know much about human art.
Rooms with balconies are pretty much a must for pegasi. I can imagine them calling the hotel to reserve the room: “It’s got to have a balcony that’s clear of obstructions so a pony can fly off of it if she wants to.”
Ponies are smart. Why have several beds when they can all fit into one bed? Plus, it’s more cozy that way.
You have to wonder if there are several hotel rooms that were reserved for the tornado ponies that simply aren’t being used. Or if the tornado team figured out that the ponies would all want to be together.
And it’s even worse now that they’ve got individual seats that are shaped like butts rather than a long bench.
When on the seashore, eat sand crabs. They’re yummy, and easy to catch.
Or she’s just being fashionable in a unicorn way. Because let’s face is, her pleasure slaves would probably like a fluffy coat.
Pretty to look at, just don’t get close.
She is a Canterlot unicorn, and probably comes from money, keeps up on fashion, owns a Princess dress, etc.
Always have your towel.
And of course getting sand or saltwater spray in her eyes, too.
That’s the one downside to packing light, especially if you’re used to normally just shaking yourself off and then drip-drying after a day spent chasing feral storms.
Knowing that Taco Bell is the greatest restaurant on Earth is something that most of them already know--the official Earth guidebook uses Taco Bell as an example of a chain fast food restaurant, so it’s kind of a mythical place to ponies. Not trusting square fish is a valuable lesson for other ponies to learn.
Also an important lesson.
They can handle brackish water (assuming that the coastal ponies have adapted in the same way that some feral horse populations have), but not seawater.
One of the advantages of being a grazing herbivore.
Yeah, naturally!
Why wouldn’t she be? Big rocket is like big airplane except bigger and faster and louder.
Yeah, it seems like the two species wouldn’t get along all that well. But I don’t know, maybe manatees are big enough that only the biggest alligators will take them on. According to Wikipedia, crocodiles will eat young manatees (so presumably alligators would, too), but the article also says that predation does not present a threat to the survival of any manatee species.
That’s very true.
She’s skeptical, after Lindsay and Victoria told her about hot tub sharks and snow sharks. But given the number of monsters in Equestria, and their magical nature, it’s possible that sharks would only go for someone who had eaten recently.
That’s the advantage to them being nice, benevolent overlords. They know that if they’re kind, people will be all the more willing to do their bidding.
He is.
Presumably, they’d gallop down the beach as she flew alongside.
I think for most ponies, the vast majority of animals would be friends. A few that are okay to eat--fish and sand crabs because they’re dumb, for example. And a few more that are not friends because they try to eat ponies.
There’s probably a general rule to the lines of ‘except where stated otherwise, ponies don’t need to wear clothes.’ Because you know that there are places where the people are prudish enough to want ponies to cover their junk.
Fun fact: Playalinda Beach is somewhat famous for being a sort-of nude beach. Like, it’s technically forbidden, but nobody actually cares. Now, the question is did Mr. Salvatore know that when he chose that location, and if he did, did he tell any of the other helpers?
Of course she is!
Right up there with telling a fed that you’re about to go visit a weed shop.
Technically, since it’s a federal beach, the helpers might be legally able to arrest people on it for being naked; on the other hand, since they’re on pony protection duty, they’re only supposed to arrest people who threaten their pony.
“Oh, her? She’s just our friend who’s a FBI agent, and in constant contact with the other three FBI agents down the beach. There’s no need to worry about her at all.
Exactly! But that’s maybe a difficult concept to get across to a pony who understands that rules are generally put in place for everypony’s benefit, and a lot of rules, if broken, make ponies die. There’s a saying in more than one industry (certainly in railroads) that the rules of the road are written in blood . . . when they say ‘don’t do this,’ it’s because people have died doing it.
Well, yeah, why wouldn’t they?
Ah, she’ll be fine. As long as none of the humans try to kidnap a pony, she’ll just sit there on the beach and constantly report back to Mr. Salvatore and Mr. Barrow that everything is fine and there are no naked girls on the beach.
It’s bestest when its freshest.
Beach grass is really tough, compared to normal grass. Hard to chew, gritty, not pleasant at all in the mouth. At least, as far as I remember.
You’d think that they’d just do that on their own, since there’s only air inside most of them.
No question. Although it’s probably not the only weird thing that pony helpers have done. Miss Cherilyn got to stick a thermometer in Silver’s butt, remember.
She is not. Also, she probably didn’t; I can imagine Miss Parker constantly having eyes on her just in case she tries.
Silver Glow probably would have mentioned it if that had happened.
Ponies are great at keeping you warm.
Really, the best kind of day. New friends, relax on the beach, yummy sand crabs--what’s not to like?
They’re probably supposed to give them back, though. I bet hotels charge you if you take all the towels.
9427947
Alabama is a third world country.
West Virginia is where it's really shit though.
9899143
Never been there, but would not disagree on general principle.
I’ve been to mostly nice places in West Va, or just driving through on highways. Now, I have spent time in some of the poorer areas of Tennessee, and yeah.
Getting corona on a Florida beach is obviously a very important tradition. Explains so much.