It's Fluttershy's birthday, and Rarity- her new marefriend- is hosting it. She invited her closest friends, but only one shows. Coincidentally, it's the one she had most dearly wished would say no.
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Joined 28th Dec, 2011 ·
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- DaBeejees · 6.3k words · 42 2 · 3.5k views
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I'd personally love to see a continuation of this.
I like it but the kissing scene seemed somewhat rushed. I have no idea how, but it all seemed too quick. However, I do like this story and the only problem with it is that it seems like a massive wall of text. You need to space paragraphs and indent. Now I do understand that you kinda had to rush it for the tumblr but now is your time to fix it. Great start and I hope to see this continued. I don't normally approve of Rarishy fics, but I will make an exception for this.
Thumbs up
Yes, yes there needs to be.
I liked it, very well done indeed. Especially for half an hour.
737161 I was at the twenty five minute mark when I realized they hadn't even started dancing, and then it was a rush to finish it in time. I edited it to fix the paragraphs, and hopefully the kissing scene too.
A what?
737117 I did say it was a oneshot... unsure if I want to continue it or not.
737187 Edited. Hope it helps.
737204 737555
737290
Moar, moar!
This would be a great fic.
:3
738744 :3
It does say oneshot, though...
/conflicted
I'll put my vote in for a continuation! One-shot or not, I'd like to see more!
Fluttershy was kind of OOC.
She'd probably have started sulking or something.
I know it was written as a one-shot and meant to be ... but it feels unfinished
Oh well, these short stories are good for finding some good writers (If you can write this in half an hour I'd be impress in what you can write if you spend longer on it)
Continue if you can, but no point writing it if you don't want to, write what you want to write.
740112 I see what you mean, but the point of the prompt was to have a pony cheating on their partner, and get caught in the act. It could work, with her finally bringing up enough courage to confront Rarity, but not in 30 minutes.
739411 741337 I think I might continue this, but I just can't figure out how it will end... *shrug*
742245
THEY HAVE A THREESOME!
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
FINE
Rainbow Dash can join in too.
In all seriousness I don't know. I guess Rarity has to end up with one of them, be it Twilight or Fluttershy. Maybe a forth character could come in, but I can't really see that happening without looking forced. If you wanted something unexpected you could go for a FlutterTwi ship... But I don't know. I guess Fluttershy getting comfort would be a start.
I just can't see this working out with a happy ending for all those involved, however much I want one.
750598 It's marked 'Sad' for a reason. I doubt a happy ending will become of these ponies, whatever happens. It all depends on how cruel I'm feeling when I actually get around to writing it (I already did part of the second chapter, which will lead to the third and final part).
And I can feel particularly cruel when I feel like it
I guess I'm happy...
This would be one of the greatest stories if Twilight ends up with Fluttershy and Rarity is alone. It's just that I feel most sorry for FS and TS. For some reason I just don't care about Rarity (that much)...
I'll also LMAO
756227 I didn't care about Rarity much either when I first got into the show, but some stories and people made me actually give a damn about her. That could be a possible solution (TS and FS), but who knows- it's all about how cruel I'm feeling when I have my next midnight writing binge.
Yeah, the algid point of these stories is always to find the least expected outcome (for the point view character, at least)
Make Rarity suffer! (which is rare for me, since I'm actually a strong TS/R supporter, though not exclusive)
757230 Make Rarity suffer!
Oh you, always looking for the happy ending
Devious, devious. It's very tempting, now, but it'll all come to light once I write it. Whatever I write is better than what I had in my head anyway.
737117>>738744>>739411 I probably should've put this in the last comment, but you said you wanted more and I noticed you weren't tracking the fic. Maybe this brings it back up in your notifications.
757268
Well, I'm balancing up the karma scales a little, considering what's happening on Filly Fooling right now (know that one?) and my own pairings in Flare.
Actually shipping fics here are very fun, because we'll never obviously get a straight response from the show, and the multiude of alternate realities we create in here is overwhelming. At this point I've got problems keeping track of the details on every story that I read, and this makes it stand out.
757303 I don't know that one, actually. Is that a story on here?
757423
Sup, here
Filly Fooling
Might want to hold your water for later chapters
Oh, this one's on the cloppy side, might not be for you.
Aah! That's not what I thought would happen at all!