End - Fimfiction

FanOfMostEverything #1 · Feb 19th, 2016 · 3 · ·

Love is eternal, but with sufficient time, anything can change. Or more accurately, given sufficient time, even the slightest inaccuracy in a model will make itself known.

A fascinating tale of affection in deep time. Thank you for it.

The Derpy Division

The Derpy Division #2 · Feb 19th, 2016 · · ·

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*Sad whimpers*

Steel Resolve

Steel Resolve #3 · Feb 19th, 2016 · 13 · ·

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In an infinite time, any fraction of time less than infinite may as well be nothing. She goes now, because there is an everything to explore. But, having seen the length and breadth of the universe, being satisfied, she will return to you.

Or, you could go after her. See the things she wishes to see, and speak with her about them as you see them yourself. Take joy in them, for her sake if nothing else. Take the white ball with you, it will light the way.

TheLastBrunnenG

TheLastBrunnenG #4 · Feb 19th, 2016 · 1 · ·

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Earning our Sad tag today, Pav.

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Or, you could go after her. See the things she wishes to see, and speak with her about them as you see them yourself. Take joy in them, for her sake if nothing else. Take the white ball with you, it will light the way.

Seriously, right? Did they not just have this conversation, that Celestia could attend her duties from anywhere?

Steel Resolve

Steel Resolve #5 · Feb 19th, 2016 · 4 · ·

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6953392 Celestia seems to misunderstand Twilight. Twilight loves Celestia, but is not content to spend all of eternity in one spot. Her love is true, but not all-encompassing. There is an everything outside of Celestia.

For Celestia, Twilight is everything, so she is content to experience the everything that is Twilight. But surely she could do so while Twilight sees what she wishes to see. This story did not need to end as it did. But then, this story is not infinite, and so I choose to see this as it is: a small moment. Their story goes on, and in that infinite, they will meet again.

horizon

horizon #6 · Feb 19th, 2016 · 2 · ·

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I don't think I'm in the mood for immortality angst today, but this line was still lovely:

“Your thoughts were inconsistent?” The purple alicorn’s laughter, beautiful and melodic, sang through the galaxy. “Yes, I believe this is love."

Word.

Bad Horse

Bad Horse #7 · Feb 19th, 2016 · · ·

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6953418 Yep.

The business about Celestia being bound to her sun muddies it a little--it set my mind wondering, "Can she bring it along? Does she love the orb more than Twilight? Why can't she just drop the bloody useless thing?" But it's not easy to think of any other way to create the scenario in such a simple form. It has, of course, been told before in more complicated forms: the lover who leaves for country / adventure / etc.

I wonder whether the downvotes are for the skeletal simplicity of the story, or because Twilestia.

Titanium Dragon

Titanium Dragon #8 · Feb 19th, 2016 · 3 · ·

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I enjoy how six of the first seven comments (and now, seven of the first eight) were made by people with 600+ followers. Clearly, Pav is a writer's writer.

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Could be that heartstring #6 was not tugged due to the odd writing style/brevity of the piece.

NorrisThePony

NorrisThePony #9 · Feb 19th, 2016 · 3 · ·

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Certainly deserving of the sad tag, but I feel like there's a bit of unspoken hopefulness here too.

I mean, what we're seeing is a single conversation between Twilight and Celestia. That's not even a pinprick in the face of immortality. Celestia may go with Twilight, she may choose to stay behind. Whether or not that choice remains is another matter entirely, it seems likely she might choose to follow in search of Twilight.

But, even if she does not, Twilight will one day return anyways. There's only so much universe to see before she starts missing her lover.

And when she does return, boy will the two have some stories to share.

It's like Radiohead said: True love waits.

Pav Feira

Pav Feira #10 · Feb 20th, 2016 · · ·

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That comment is mostly on the money. It's not even so much about the location, since after all, they're surrounded by the void. Bluntly, it's that Celestia is right there. Twilight does still care for her deeply. But if Twilight travels to another part of the void, and Celestia follows, has she really gone anywhere? She needs difference-in-kind. This point probably needed more emphasis in the text, especially with the orb being a bit of a distraction.

The white alicorn turned to face her in full, eyes wide and searching. “[...] Do you wish to rid yourself of me?”
“No to all,” came the purple alicorn’s reply, quicker than the others before. “Your love has touched me in a way that nothing in the universe ever shall. It is something that I will treasure for the rest of time.” She brought her hoof to the other’s cheek, brushing lightly against the soft white hairs. “But if I do not experience the universe, if I do not live eternity, then I will never understand the truth of those beliefs.”

Arguably, it's a bit harsh to say "bby, I need my space, gonna go chill on literally the opposite end of the universe." But like Steel pointed out, Twilight is leaving for eternity and Celestia will wait for eternity. A bittersweet ending is one valid interpretation.

Pav Feira

Pav Feira #11 · Feb 20th, 2016 · · ·

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I'm inclined to say that Twilestia's not to blame, seeing as my other ones fared better. I'm willing to give the story a bit longer before I call time-of-death, but if I had to take a guess...

I keep waffling on if I'd label this fic as "immortal angst", since I don't feel like it hits the central themes we typically associate with that phrase. But it definitely contains both immortals and angst, so tomato tomato.

It's probably trying a bit too hard with the artsy shtick. Aggressively-short title, cover art for ants, intentional LUS, characters who were satistifed to cut discussion short with a single "Yes", etc. This piece was something that I needed to get off my chest, for personal reasons, but it doesn't capitalize on my strengths as a writer.

And if we're being totally frank, re: commenters with 600+ followers... My followers likely know I'm capable of better.

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Clearly, Pav is a writer's writer.

Oh, see, I was going to say "Fimfic's bicycle", but what you said sounds way better.

Titanium Dragon

Titanium Dragon #12 · Feb 20th, 2016 · 3 · ·

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I'm inclined to say that Twilestia's not to blame

Well, duh.

tomato tomato

Man, that loses a lot when written in prose.

Anyway, I don't think it counts as immortal angst, because it isn't angst about being immortal/mortality, though I could see people thinking it did from the title/summary.