One night while Luna is roaming the halls of the castle she comes upon a book. Curiousity gets the best of her and she reads it, what she finds out melts her heart.
Thanks to my editors;
Shrink Laureate
TwilightSparkleBestPony
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 8th Dec, 2015
- offline last seen Apr 9th, 2022
Solstice Shimmer
One that somehow finds time to overthink about magical ponies, and sometimes write about it.
Solstice Shimmer
Joined 8th Dec, 2015 ·
Offline
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A damn fine piece, Solstice.
6921304
Thank you
I knew I read
somealot of references!!Anyway, I am near tears right now...
My God People need to read this
One of the best written and emotional stories that i've ever read good job.
6922043
Thank you
I'm glad you liked it
The emotions! Aaggghh! Lovely story!
6922230
Thanks
I want to hug them both!
I saw the influence and in my head I heard , "Fate has been cruel and order unkind." So sweet, so sad. Keep up the good work!
P.S. I'm barely even choked up. I'm such a heartless basterd. Even if it's sad, I won't shed a tear! Hurray for being a soulless Ginger!
6938805
Thanks!
p.s. Funny thing is I didn't cry while writing this, but that song though
Gets me every time!
The letter is written, well. Nice emotion. I like the ideas of the letter.
But, Luna's not taking it nearly as seriously as I wanted her to, and she really pulled me out of the drama and heart of it all. I feel like the tears came out of nowhere, and after reading this heartfelt letter to her, all she could comment on was the swear that was crossed off? She really felt two-dimensional to me, and threw the story off. Luna needs to be on the same emotional page, or the message won't resonate. If she doesn't take it seriously, how can I? The letter is fine, but I feel like Luna's parts are too bland and unimportant for my taste.
Luna is only actually a very minor part of this story. The rest is grand. But, to evoke emotion, Luna must feel something, too. It just doesn't come across that she's even really reading the letter. It feels as though she's just skimming over it and picking out the funny parts.
Generally good story. You also have to elaborate, more. The beginning felt waaaayyyy too rushed and you just needed to say more. I wanted longer paragraphs, and more description.
You get a like. I just think it needs more, for a favorite.
6975706
I appreciate your criticism.
i didn't want to add too much of Luna into this story for I felt it would be distracting if I switched POVs constantly through this. But I understand that I probably should have added a bit more of Luna's emotions through this.
Nice job!