Retired writer. I write nothing anymore. Twilight is still best pony. I'm a 21 year old Canadian Juggalo/Brony.
After a mysterious circumstance brings Twilight Sparkle into the real world she's discovered by a lonely closet Brony. He gives her a place to stay until she can find a way home. Twilight begins to discover she has feelings for this human. Feelings she's never felt before. Part of her doesn't want to leave his side but she knows deep down that it must happen and there's no way around it.
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You got my interest!
I wonder what happens if he tickled her while she's unconscious? That would've been funny!
6915001
Hope you stick around for the next chapters
I'm glad you liked it
Tracked and favored.
6916261
Thanks
I appreciate it
I can not wait for the next chapter
6916729 I'm going to try my best to release at least one chapter a week
This seems like it could be an okay story, although the use and overuse of certain words along with multiple grammatical inconsistencies and issues are making me unable to enjoy the story. Perhaps you could find an editor?
I could even offer my own services as an editor, although I do not have experience in that line of work.
Despite This Premise Being Done To Death, I Will Continue To Watch And Read.
6917615
Judging by your name, I'm assuming you're a critic?
6919458 I use to be. Not so much anymore.
Inception is not on Netflix, I checked
6959340 I'm aware of that. Just roll with it.
6959429 k
6919458 well, this is like a dream come true
i'm sorry to bother you, but
it's actually called "Sniper Fi"
7020884
Oh crap I didn't even realize that. It was kinda late when I wrote that part so I was tired and I just wanted to go to bed. I'll fix that rn.
Thanks for pointing that out
7021222 it's okay, i've been there. by the way, maybe you could make twilight talk about general sheperd and why humans fight each other more with more ferocity than ponies (since she already played the campaign, and she's been playing it for a few hours, so i presume that she already played the mission called "loose ends") in the next chapter. that's all for now!
oh my god!!! it's so romantic, although i expect this chapter going to be a long one, but still, you satisfy my curiosity
7032033 all the chapters are supposed to be around 1000 words each. The 5000 word chapter wasn't meant to be that long. I just started writing and I couldn't stop I had so many ideas.
7032688 ok, i understand that, glad to hear a confirmation from the author
7048580 The reason there' s so much time between chapters is because I have school and other stuff to do that takes presidency over writting. so the only time I can actually sit down and write is on the weekend. I know, it sucks. I hate it too. But it's the best I can do for now
Why does this have quite the number of dislikes? I don't think its that bad actually
7067778 Not sure. Can't please everyone, I suppose.
7067778 well, like they said, haters gonna hate
7067856 oh man, this is where the suspense begins, i can't wait for the next chapter, i really like this chapter
I'm not too sure on this ending. It seems very rushed.
Twilight gave very little thought to her boyfriend, with a dear john letter as a goodbye. No real arguments. Make twilight much more reluctant to leave. The reluctance would have been a more natural reaction than just "what about my... Meh it'll be fine".
Then you just basically said, "He was depressed, and decided to kill himself." Exposing us to his feelings over the time after she left would have made us feel for the guy a lot more, and rejoice at the, admittedly inevitable, transport to equestria.
If, in the sequel, you do not touch on her friends reaction to her leaving like this, then I think you would do a very large disservice to this wonderful little story you wrote.
This is just my opinion, influenced by how this chapter proceeded.
7091239 It's an idea I've been tossing around in my head for the past few weeks. There are a few things I'd need to figure out first so it's not a guarantee yet but it is a possibility
7091126 Here was my thought process, Twilight knew it was inevitable and she didn't want to disappoint the princess. She didn't want to let the princess know that she enjoyed it there and she didn't want to leave. As for the mentioning in the sequel, I'll keep that in mind if I ever do write one.
sequel please
7091377 No guarantee at this point in time. Though it is a possibility.
why cant this happen to me ?
7158751 I know how you feel, man
Pretty good story I'll read it haven't read one like this before
dang it cliff HANGER! get it?!
woot!
No comments....weird...
Great chapter though
I love this story so far and I wish there were more of these kinds of stories like one with applejack and rainbow Dash.
how does Twilight know what a cartoon is if she doesn't know what a movie or TV are?
If I see Twilight with my own eyes, I would rather befriend her.
Clearly, Twilight doesn't know what a movie or TV show is when Equestria already have movie theaters like in one episode. What a plot hole.
9016848
Because you have some sort of sick wish fulfillment where you want to be her “sister”. If she was real, she would be disgusted by you. But she’s not.
9022926
!
Dude, knock it off
6959429
Haha, it is now!
If you ask me, there was alot of unnecessarily detailed explanation in the teaching of Twilight to videogame that dragged the story down and could've just been summarized. Also you'd wonder if Twilight might have either been uneasy about the simulated violence (as alot of people are, to our continued annoyance)
or wondering why we like reliving conflicts better left behind (after all, she's had some experience with conflicts in Equestria, and actually facing scary villains aren't pretty in any sense). Unless you figure she sees them like exciting adventure stories* you can interact with and get immersed in a whole new way. 
*(Remember: Daring Do fan!)
I remember in another story where Twiggles learned to videogame, one of them was Portal. Perfect game for her, man!
And in the previous chapter:
I'm guessing they already had the talk about clothes and stuff offscreen. Love ya Twiggles! Be a good lil filly now ya hear?