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This is an alternate ending to the chapter Anastantes; that is to say, it is nonsensical, feel-good drivel, an alternative to drink, the written equivalent of a clump of semi-solid, glucose-laden mush. For the love of Celestia, take not a word of it to heart.
“No.” She shakes her head a bit, her voice hesitant. “No, you’re not her. You’re better than she ever was.” Her voice hesitant, but unmoving.
I approach further. “I’ll stay with you forever, Bon-Bon.”
She seems to stop breathing for a moment, and then she looks towards me, tears coming from the sides of her beautiful, enormous eyes. “Really?”
I nod, smiling as I come next to her and sit in that way, the light of the morning sun filling the world as I lean in towards her. “Really.”
And then I hold her, and she does not resist.
And then, I reach in for a kiss.
And I feel love coming from that beautiful mouth, as she pushes me over in unleashed repression, as she pushes me down onto the bench, as she hugs me tighter than I’ve ever been hugged. And she wraps her hooves around the back of my neck and caresses me, the hard keratin as soft as jelly to me.
And I hug her back, and we roll off that bench, and we strengthen our embrace; her buried emotions coming out in a flurry as she licks about inside my muzzle; and I pull away, tongue trailing saliva—hers, and mine, together—and I say the only thing I can possibly say, the only thing I can possibly think.
“Oh hay yeah!”
Wait, that wasn’t me. I look behind and see a pink head popping out from a shrub. She puts her hooves over her mouth, jumps from it and runs off into the distance, her tail flying high as she goes as fast as I've ever seen anypony go.
I shake my head a bit, and smile at her; and she smiles with a kind of impossible happiness, and we just lay like that, grinning like idiots at each other, before I say what I mean to.
“I love you, Bon-Bon. No matter what.”
And she nuzzles my mane. “What’s that thing you always said to your friends, back in college? ‘Se philo’?”
I giggle and bury myself in that wonderful mane, letting myself be entombed by those dark and light strands. “Kai eraoimin.”
“And what’d you always want me to say back, when you said it to me?”
I look up into the beautiful morning sky, and I look at her.
“Alla eimi.”
And we look at each other, look into each other’s eyes; and we cannot control the sheer joy, as we release every bit of repression, every inhibition, and know each other fully, as the sun watches over us.
And we are so, so happy.
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You make a compelling argument for me to write a 'good' ending.
Allow me to present my concordance with your appeal.
I originally conceived of this chapter's title as 'Mia Sarx' (from Mark 10:8: καὶ ἔσονται οἱ δύο εἰς σάρκα μίαν, ὥστε οὐκέτι εἰσὶν δύο ἀλλὰ μία σάρξ: And the two shall be for one, so that they will no longer be two, but one flesh). 'Allocatastrophe' is a quick-and-dirty coinage: different-ending. The final exchange is now translateable as "I love you like a friend/and I wish you'd love me like a lover/but I do."
If anyone who knows Ancient Greek's around, I'd appreciate any corrections of grammar.
Excellent Story, even if the canon ending is as bittersweet as a whole chapter of 'Background Pony'. Not that that's a bad thing, but it leaves people horribly depressed...
Still, this story deserves a lot more likes in my opinion. It's certainly different and well thought out. And the alternate ending makes up for my sadness.
4.5/5
Thank you so much for this! You are a very intelligent writer, and you have written a fine work, and both endings have their value.
But I have to say, in my heart, this ending leaves me with a smile within, and gladdens me, and sweetens my dreams. That is always a gift, that which brings joy, and you have done just that, and for that I thank you.
I will be most definitely be watching your work in the future.
While this is the ending everyone wants, you gave the fans what they wanted. You never do that. It was realist, it was bittersweet and it was heartfelt. The old ending was perfect in it's imperfection, thats what made it good. I'm not saying this ending was bad, it was good and very well written but it was what they wanted.
You sold out, now while this isn't as bad because this is a fandom, you still sold out. I'm not judging because this is your story and you wrote it but still sold out.
Was there a better way you could of gone with both ending, yes. You could of had, the 'I don't know how I feel' speech. Sweet while still being realistic. But still it was good, both were. I just feel you sold out. But still this is yours and this comment is simply my opinion.
Personally, I originally intended that there be two endings; one named 'Dyo Sarka' and and one named 'Mia Sarx'. As it is, Chatoyance's comment only got me off my lazy arse.
That being said, I respect your opinion. It is a much better story as a bittersweet tale; the allocatastrophe isn't meant to be taken seriously in any sense. It's written purely as feel-good drivel, drivel which I compiled in like thirty minutes. As much as I like to think that I have artistic integrity, I still owe fans this bit of drivel, because I'm not a goddamned dominatrix and they're not bloody masochists. It is important to assess the reasons that exist for writing.
I write to make people enjoy reading. Some people get their jollies being happy, and some people get their jollies following a cohesive, well-written plot. I'm not going to judge either. It is not my place. So I write, and I write not only for myself but for them. I prefer the original ending, of course, but I'm not going to judge someone who just wants a fuzzy feeling in his or her chest.
Think of it as a fanfic of a fanfic, really. I don't consider the allocatastrophe to be a legitimate continuation of the story.
That wasn't bad. Everyone seems to have already said what I wanted to say. I do fall into the camp which says the old ending is better.
The main reason I liked the old ending was because It was different. When you read these kind of stories they almost all end the exact same way. THis was the first attempt I ever saw that ended differently. So good job with that.
... The thing about this is I actually prefer Anastantes, mainly because it is realistic. It's sad, yes. I try to stay away from sad. But it's a kind of happy sad. Besides, you can't have the words "Behind those eyes I saw a world break apart" and then in the alternate ending have her be okay with it one paragraph later.
That's not to say I don't like this chapter. I still like it, just not as much as Anastantes.
Yay good fic was good!
The "real/sad" ending is my favorite one even though I usually love sappy stuff, just fits the story better.
Even then the original "sad" ending really isn't sad, they stayed as friends and maybe BonBon might move away from her homophobic tedencies.
Sequel with Bon Bons reactions to Lyra getting her first marefriend! (tries in vain to put ideas in Amit's head)
Hmmm... This was a decent read for sure. It wasn't without its pretentious moments, but i think we're allowed a little self indulgence from time to time. Especially with a hilariously sappily in love Lyra.
I think the original ending was best, but you know that. You only made it for somepony else. Of course, lets not kid ourselves, the original is a "bad" ending. I know how painful it is to be in love with another man, to work out with him... To spend enough time with him to admire him for the beautiful flamboyant personality he is. And know that he is in fact very much heterosexual. I'd give him compliments now and then and he'd react akwardly. It's pretty tragic, and i could never be friends with him. As horrible as it is, it;s a soberign fact of life the gay community has to face. We are a minority, and no matter how much love we have for somepony, they are very likely to be completely unobtainable.
Calling the author a sell-out... sounds like you're one of those hipsters who believe fans should be forced to not gain the level of enjoyment they were expecting and that the author is quite capable to provide. You're being quite rude here, and might want to re-think that.
And you have nothing to complain about anyway... there's two endings, if you don't like one... only read the other. Your complaints are completely unnecessary and aren't constructive in any way to helping the author, just attempting to sound degrading.
Ouï-dire besides, not all homophobes are homosexual. Homophobia is an attitude, not any indicator of sexuality. Her 'homophobia' is a generalisation of blame, an attempt to scapegoat, an outright fear of abandonment because of her heterosexuality - in the liberal fascism of Equestrian society, there is simply no impetus for that sort of repression.
Maybe if this story was about Applejack.
I'm a hipstre? What in the world is a hipster? Any way, I find your comment degrading. I did like the ending, it was just fan service. Blatant fan service, now theres nothing wrong with that, I was just saying what it was. I've always believed that a story should be what you want not what the fans want. Now the author did say there was two endings, that they had planned. I didn't know this, I commented before they explained this. Thus how was I to know.
Now constructive criticism comes in many forms, and I believe that my comment was, at least, some what constructive.
And I was just pointing something I thought I saw, no need to take it personally.
Remember we're supposed to respect others opinions wether we like them or not.
Fillyfooler, out.
>dans quatre heure, moi je peux lire, la jument céleste pourra avoir sa lettre
>...in four hours I can read. The celestial mare will be able to have her letter.
Peux is the present first-person of pouvoir; I use the disjunctive for emphasis.
Given that it's a snowclone of an actual French song, (la Jument de Michao, which admittedly does have a problem with the construction c'est dans) I really doubt that it has an error; nonetheless, I've mended the construction to seem a little less awkward:
>je m'en lirai
Thank you for bringing that to my attention.
Patronizing and hypocritical, too. I'm saying, regardless of what you thought you were doing or intention, that your words -easily- come across as being quite rude and insulting. Respecting someone's opinion does not mean suffering those who would do wrong by their words. All you had to do was recognize that the unnecessary insults in your post were not called for. An apology would be nice, I'm sure no author likes to hear "You're a sell-out." without good reason. The ONLY reason you supplied was your -personal preference- which is not a good reason in the least bit.
The first ending left me depressed, and the second ending was too ridiculous to even pretend it could happen. I could see an extension of the first ending where at first she's still adamant about being heterosexual but than over time realizes with how much time and compassion she gives to Lyra, even she could realize they are meant to be something more than just friends...considering she was soo protective of her it's hard to imagine that being "just friends" type stuff. And you had some little things in there that really felt like you were indicating a repressed side to her. Just my thoughts.
hehe, even though the original ending is better in both plot and writing style. i still do prefer this one moodwise (i cant help it but im a sucker for succesfull romance). anyways, you have written a great story independent of how it ends. My attention was there every single second so thank you for this ^^ i thoroughly enjoyed the story 
The idea is that it would be far too out-of-character for Pinkie to give good advice; that last bit is just her conscience speaking to her.
To note: The whole idea behind the fic, really, is that the whole arrangement is unhealthy. Anastantes shows a person making a ridiculous compromise for the sake of another - to love conditionlessly, without the expectation of reciprocation. The allocatastrophe could only be realistically written as an even worse ending, where Bon-Bon would reject her entirely, or feign love for her sake - indeed, that's perhaps the best way to read the allocatastrophe: as a total catastrophe, where Bon-Bon is forced to weave a web of lies (holy shit sequel idea). There is no realistic way for everyone to be happy in this fic. Anastantes is literally the best ending possible.
In that sense, I suppose you could call it a tragicomedy.
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_gaze.png
Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png
There were some scenes that showed a more sympathetic side to Bon-Bon, but I think that she could have used some more. A little more showing rather than telling of why Lyra loves her, if you'll forgive the cliche. Either way though... the ending with Bon-Bon turning out to be actually heterosexual was truly excellent. Not that the alternate ending is bad by any means, but I think it's important to have stories where confessing your love, while it may be the right thing to do in a relationship, does not automatically make everything perfect.
Well that was okay.
Image: http://www.gearfuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/meh-facebook-button.jpgThis is just my opinion, but the comedy felt a little forced. This works more under Slice of Life than anything else.
I usually shy away from first-person (first-pony?) stories, but this one showed a strong narrative voice and an excellent vocabulary -- two things which I hold in very high esteem. It was a simple but effective story, with enjoyable little linguistic tidbits for those who studied Classics.
I found some of the technological anachronisms (movies on disc, telephones) a bit jarring considering the otherwise strongly canon-following setting (though they DO apparently have reel-to-reel films), but that is, all things considered, a somewhat minor quibble.
All in all, it was an enjoyable read. And personally, I liked the chapter 8 ending better than the chapter 9. Nine might be "sweeter," but sometimes the reader likes a little "savoury" as well, you know?
Anyway, good job!
Image: http://i.imgur.com/MB0IC.pngAnd to comment on the story itself, overall a very fun read. It was short, but that's not an issue to me. It makes it light reading, something to pass the time with. And I liked it. Both endings have appeal to me, and I'd consider both to be legitimate resolutions to the story, so I won't pick a favourite. I will say that I am glad you went both possible routes with it so that everyone can get something out of it. Alternate endings open up a lot of possibilities.
Nice work, and thanks for writing this.
Image: http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/208/666/yes..jpg
Err, it's umm... Nice... 
The characters are a little flat to me; despite the fact that Bon-Bon is turning into Howard Hughes in front of her, Lyra says nothing but "I love that mare."
What's more is that we never see Lyra do the normal rational thing and try to approach Bon-Bon and resolve their issues, leading to more interesting conflict for the story and developing their romance and feelings for eachother.
Pinkie Pie feels like her only job here is to be a giant wrench. She's almost a plot device never contributing more than an excuse to move the story along. I feel a story like this needed to be character driven; the plot needed to be moved by Lyra's desire to confront Bon-Bon's homophobia, to confess her feelings, and Bon-Bon's inability to accept Lyra's homosexuality and to face the issues in her past that led her to become so negative towards them.
While I enjoyed it and loved the concept, I feel that I was pulled along rather than lead. The narrative didn't flow and some of the dialogue seemed awkward. So I personally am overall ambivalent towards this fic, liking some things and disliking others.
Feel free to disregard my advice, I just thought I'd share some comments and feedback with you on the story.
I originally intended it to be a series of vignettes, but then I thought 'hey, this is funny, where does this go?'
I write everything as a single story - and if I think it can go somewhere, I cultivate it like the finest fruit of the finest tree.
Holy shit, you're the guy who wrote half of the good Dark Equestria fics. I admire your work.
Ass-licking out of the way, she does progress, and the story is complete.
Do my eyes deceive me? A specific, fair review of overarching flaws?
You're officially the best commenter. Congratulations.
That being said (as I have said before) this entire thing is meant specifically to highlight the fundamental unhealthiness of their arrangement. As I've said before:
>To note: The whole idea behind the fic, really, is that the whole arrangement is unhealthy. Anastantes shows a person making a ridiculous compromise for the sake of another - to love conditionlessly, without the expectation of reciprocation. The allocatastrophe could only be realistically written as an even worse ending, where Bon-Bon would reject her entirely, or feign love for her sake. Indeed, that's perhaps the best way to read the allocatastrophe: as a total catastrophe, where Bon-Bon is forced to weave a web of lies (holy shit sequel idea). There is no realistic way for everyone to be happy in this fic. Anastantes is literally the best ending possible.
To clarify, rather, this is a comedy first and foremost, with a serious undercurrent; Pinkie giving idiotic ideas isn't meant for any kind of drama. It's just something for readers to laugh at, and the outrageous character archetypes are meant to make people think 'ha ha that guy's so funny'. From a Doylean perspective, that's what they are: simple plot devices, used to interrupt an otherwise static plane.
I'll try to improve on my dialogue. Thank you for your contribution; I truly appreciate it.
This, right here, is a good part of why I enjoy this fandom.
Part one: Awesomely written fanfic. I personally like both endings, and while they both have merit, I kind of wish you had written a slightly more serious "what the fans want" ending. Call me silly, but I just can't stand unrequited love. 
Part two: It's nice to see calm and reasonable debate on the internet. Anywhere on the internet. But for some reason it seems to happen more often with MLP stuff. Good people?
Someone probably said everything above before, just figured I'd throw my two bits in.
Just keep doing what you do.
Not gonna lie, i liked the 1st ending better. This one just seemed to be, "Guess what, I'm conveniently the thing i hate the most now!" for Bon Bon. I wish that you would go deeper into Bon Bon's understanding for Lyra's feelings and THEN have her own feelings evolve into love, but whatever.
Great job, overall.
Judging by their name I don't think hipster is the right word!
On top of that, you also showed reasonably well the only filly-foolers she's known are 'THOSE types' of filly foolers. A respectable comparison to modern American/European masculine-centered would be one's only exposure, ever, to gay people being California beachfolk, interior decorators, and Pride/Love parades. Rural folk (ie 85% of the US) would instantly classify them as the 'other'. I think that's where a lot of non-repressed homophobia comes from, is that, they are sheer extreme opposites, on every single front (at least when it comes to contemporary interests), not just sexuality, so neither can act 'as they are' without offending the other. Remove sex from the equation and you have Blueblood, Hoity, and Macintosh desperately searching for common ground ANYWHERE and failing miserably. It's just that sexuality is a something everyone has, and is also one of the more taboo subjects, so this is going to be the most utilised wedge point between these two 'brands' of people.
I'm... not entirely certain what to think of this. Happiness is "selling out" now? Perhaps I misunderstand as I am unfamiliar with your oeuvre. I may be misconstruing your intention. You may be the iconoclastic type that does the opposite of the mainstream for shock value and/or uniqueness. I have read cogent arguments that being so anticonformist may, in fact, be objectively worse than being a conformist.
For myself, I can say: Life sucks. Ponies don't have to. Which is why I wonder at the likes of Fallout: Equestria, Cupcakes and now this. You've literally created the interpersonal apocalypse. But I should have seen it from the start. Biblical references in Pony stories tend to get... uncomfortable.
Yep. I hate it too, and the intended ending is the only ending for me.
I hope poor Lyra gets her pony rocks off elsewhere, while also getting to have her BFF in Bon Bon- heh, BBBFF for reals- because I'm telling you, I have seen two women who were BFFs in the way depicted in this story (less homophobia but also less of the gay, same end result) and it is really a beautiful, powerful thing. They're closer to each other than they are to their husbands/boyfriends/etc. There's nothing wrong with depicting that. In fact I stole it for my TaviScratch continuity...
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