I was a basic engineer in my thirties, but I had many side hobbies such as investigation, and chemistry.
One day I came across a certain rumor from a conversation my clients were having, so I decided to investigate this said rumor which is starting to appear more true than people would like. When I went to investigate I decided I would blend into the crowd by making a costume, but that was a fatal flaw that got me trapped in another world. In this new world I must survive and thrive, but I seemed to have dragged something with me. Now it's time to turn back the clock.
Crossover: Wakfu-Tactical RPG game/animated series
Warnings: This shit is obviously cancelled, just turn back there's nothing here to see. The story itself has been rewritten about 4 times already each with their own set of problems and improvements; This story also attempts to deal with multiple characters at once, however, due to how short the chapters are for each character it never truly goes anywhere giving no progress to anyone; This is very clearly displaced meaning it falls under certain tropes at times.
As constructive criticism: The chapter feels heavily rushed and is seen with the lack of explanation, reasons and motives involving the main character. I could point out the cards but for celestias sake their ARE people who have made some amazing things before, so it's just nitpicking to criticize but pointing it out, for others WILL.
6921010 thank you and yes I tend to rush things in the beginning so my pacing will slow down heavily in future chapters thanks for pointing this out since normally nobody brings it up
Hmmmm, the three kids may end up fighting him as their villain. Or he may crack under the pressure of his former misconceptions of this new reality from basing it on his old one?
6928532 no one informed me of your Nox, well this makes things interesting, but mine isn't alone, so things can get dicy
More feed my boredom
6928965 don't worry I'll probably have another chapter tomorrow but until then just wait
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6929877 He sure was beat pretty bad there, but if you've noticed he has some magic of his own without the abilities granted by the Displaced, so this Nox won't be beaten so badly
7020180 think about this.
He sold items meant to protect kids yet did quite to opposite so don't you think he'll feel obligated to try and fix that. And he has the ability to see glimpses of the future and one future that I write is the kids and some other figure come together and kill him. So think about this and try to figure out what I'm planning.
Wakfu sucks :^)
7244322 Thank you for gracing me with your opinion, but I have a question for you.
Why are you here if you don't like it? in the description it states that this is Wakfu.
Your story is going really fast and switching so fast idk what is happening, who is the story focused on, or even what the characters are trying to do
7245131 During the beginning of this story I had no clear idea of what to do so I'll be re-writing it, but as for the focus it shifts between four characters.
Noximilien the watch maker which is the first character introduced
The Ecaflip Carrow which is the gambling girl
The Feca Gamma which is the one you saw in this chapter.
Then finally the Masqueraider Damien which is the one who shows emotion through masks
Each character has there own dreams and ideals so each character has a different perspective of right and wrong.
All the characters have no specified goals except Gamma and Nox which you'll have to figure out though Nox will probably be easiest to figure out if you use your noggin.
Thanks for the imput
7350895 I'll probably re-write that part in the future since the more I look at how to revise this the more blatant errors I find
Cover art?
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7368486 I'll use that as a temporary cover-art for now.
Thank you
7368486 I finally got the picture to work for the cover image thank you for suggesting this picture
cool. nox was always my favorite of the wakfu villains.
I'm a betting man myself.
Oh i forgot about this story. Figured it was abandoned
7589157 no of course not I put to much thought into the characters and the overall plot to drop it. I've just started re-writing it so it flows smoother, since the previous versions were...I'm a admit terrible. Though I think I've improved and the next chapter won't be out any time soon though there will be a new character introduced next chapter
7244322
Then don't read a fic about it.
Just a bit of constructive criticism, try to keep paragraphs at a max of 5-6 sentences to keep them from feeling like a wall of text. No one enjoys reading through those.
7641252
Didn't read it. Lol. I just said it sucks. The show. :^)
7642828 have you played the game its pretty good. I kind of understand why you don't like the show. Have a good evening.
7641255 Thanks for telling me I'll keep that in mind I'll probably edit this chapter and redo a couple things to fix that.
7642998
No problem. It's not a very big problem, just a way of keeping readers interested.
yay wakfu!
More ls
you played mabinogi? nice!! how long?
7858313 According to steam 146 hours, I've been playing for a while now
7858370 lol... wonder how steam would cope with my 9 years of gameplay? xD... i've helped train mages and show newbies the ropes in tir rather often. same name as my fimfic acc even
7858397
I named my fimfic account after my mabinogi character
I normally help out whenever I can though I usually play hours of music in dunbarton and Tir
7858557 nice! i play the lyre. beat it, thru the fire and flames, 'smile' and 'discord'
nice
I am so confused what's the plot? Why can't it be were you buy something from the merchant then get teleported to Equestria?
7920571 I'm introducing the characters, so very little about the plot has been revealed, I have put in hints as to what it is if you can find them. Also merchant sends to equestrian has been done a lot, I did something similar here, but it's different. I hope you like my story, since I'll be posting the next chapter today, since it's technically Saturday right now for me.
7920904 it is OK I just got confused with the time line of the story, the reason I suggest that Merchant and Convention Style for a beginning is cause in my opinion you can't beat a classic, but it doesn't hurt trying to.
Good chapter
7922813 thanks, I hope the next chapter can be just as great or better.
7920904 I would like it if you could rewrite these first few chapters so that A: We know which character is which so we aren't confused, and B: So that there aren't more than 2 POV shifts during a chapter, it really does distract from the plot ^^;
8148179 This chapter was probably one of my better ones since it only shifted to the POV of who was in control of the body, though I'll be sure to rewrite the other chapters relatively soon as finals are coming up. Once they're gone the hiatus that has afflicted this story will come to a close as I'll start writing again.
Looking at this now I may actually rewrite parts of this chapter as it seems rushed. So there may be a few updates here and there
8149099 Also, I apologize if I sounded rude ^^; It really was meant as constructive criticism
8152300 It's fine, any sort of criticism is helpful, I don't care if it's rude or not I'll take it so I know where to improve or if there is something I should focus on. I would like to point out the blatant need to rewrite chapters without specifying which ones since there aren't many. Should I rewrite the entire thing except the chapter you commented on? Or everything without exception? I've done both of these before about 4 times now so I'm quite serious
8152628 I would say keep one POV per chapter, and for the multipersonality one just have two colors, and have the one in control have no color, and the other with their color instead of a POV shift.
8153030 I actually did that here...exactly
I honestly HATE the two minds one body shit because it gets too confusing.
Sees that it's been cancelled...
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Farewell, and goodbye...
R.I.P
The Time God of Equestria
9th Feb 2016-9th Feb 2018
It twas a good run.
Also I respect the authors decision.