The story seems good enough, but you really need a pre-reader.

(Not me. I suck at pre-reading )

Anyway, I'll track this.

Hmm, interesting story idea I'll put on read later for now as I gotta run, just one thing though, you should probably credit the artist for the pic LaWeegie  

Have a good one.  

>>766339766339

had this pic in forever... i knew someone would find the source again.

>>766354766354  Just trying to be helpful.  

I hope you didn't take offence, I certainly didn't mean any.  

>>766370766370

nah... I knew my laziness had a purpose.

>>766382766382  hmm, read the first chapter real quick.  Interesting idea, I look forward to seeing the details about Twilight being a princess.  

>>766401766401

its kinda canon. shining armour married the sparkles into royalty. if thats you questioning how.

as for shining armour herself. I hinted on another twilight story what became of him, but chapter 4 will reveal more.

>>766414766414 oh lol, I don't think she's technicly a princess just because her brother married one, though I wouldn't put it past her to use the title as a little self indulgence of her obvious pining (not neccisarily romantic) for Celestia.  

>>766424766424

well this is eons after the canterlot wedding.

prince blueblood and all other heirs to the equestrian throne are effectively dead (lol blueblood at war-he'd be so dead) or joined the republic.

Twilight would be the most direct heir seeing as she's closest living relation (albeit in-law) to princess cadence and by extension celestia and Luna. as opposed to the distant descendants.

>>766438766438  ah I see, well I'll have to read the rest of your fic when I can.  

You already make the New Lunar Republc sound bad as if they did it out of spite and just pure evil with shallow agendas. Hmmm... Thin ice but I'll carry on

>>766507766507

sure... let's go with that.

I really should add a disclaimer since this is part of a big fanon.

Well now that battle rattled my heart. But you should endorse yourself more into the Fanon. From what I read you are only stating the borderline Fanon. (Molestia etc.) I can see a nice budding story, you will need a pre-reader and editor because I can pick up a lot of mistakes. Also you really need to take in how the characters act in the Canon part of the story. Twilight isn't sadistic and the NLR do not operate in the day. So why would they pick a time where they are weakest. I mean think about eclipses or the ability to separate a certain area into darkness and light. Overall I can see an epic story up ahead so don't ruin it

>>766541766541

Disclaimer: this is a War for Equestria group story. Link is found below for more information on the universe and fanon.

http://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=group&group=703

added to all of my stories pertaining to this fanon. have fun. you have alot of reading to do presumptuous Lunarian

>>766552766552 Woah I thoght this was just by itself. Alright then I have all night anyway BRING IT ON But you still need to recheck mistakes

>>766557766557

i have special characters

key events

preludes

prologues

society

geography

war tactics

holidays

of all Equestria in post-war to write. Please don't mind if editing is the least of my priorities.

>>766571766571 Here's the thing. Even you you have the best ideas in the world that could dazzle and amaze if you do not look to the foundations you will collapse under the weight. If you read a published book filled with mistakes it looks unprofessional and rushed. Grammar and vocabulary is important.

>>766577766577

indeed.

but publishing hard copies and digital are two different beasts.

an unprofessional looking work is one thing, but one not existing is a sadder thing to think of. plus with this digital age. Many things can be fixed in post when hind sight is 20 20.

as for hard copies these days. givin the publishing and continued publishing of twilight. I have long since lost respect of the standards the hard written word has to offer.

the sad part is, most of it weren't errors. someone actually intended it to be read like that even through a editor and pre-preaders and gods knows who before that decision to print was made.

I would just say use another name instead of trixie.

Further i do like this story

>>772220772220

can't really do that since its kinda ABOUT the whole trixie vs twilight thing.

plus come on. would you really doubt it if every generation of trixie couldn't think of a better name for their child than... Trixie?

>>772231772231

Ok you got a very good point there xD

wait so its trixie vs twilight celestia's blessing and shining armor shield?

>>773661773661

looooong story.

but this aint ur normal NLR vs SE but I guess i'll indulge you.

shining armour: trapped by the changling queen into an emerald that changed blue when his soul went into it. so its a magic artefact. Twilight retrieved it from the queen but failed to kill. As such shining armour remains in the stone, his sentience showing when Twilight is in danger. But if too much strain goes onto the protection spell it breaks the emerald and kills him. In such a way that damns his soul into a ghost, instead of sending it to where ever cadence is.

As such Twilight HATES changelings. She will kill them with great prejudice.

And if you read the forums on the group. You will find that this is EONS after the start of the war. Exposed to eons of eternal day and night, the two factions have physically evolved different.

I've already written about the Lunar soldiers and a brief look in their culture and nature.

But Solaris ponies rely on the rays of the sun to bolster their magic (not everypony is Twilight Sparkle). Unlike Luna who often goes to war with her ponies, Celestia channels her power through the sun to make ponies more durable, as they regenerate (slowly) with the "goddess's" blessing. As such when the empire goes to war into the night they go in with their magic weakened and lacking their regeneration (and the imperial military is heavy on unicorns). Barring only those with the power to practice what Trixie does.

Twilight relies on the sun to live. It is what keeps her young and immortal. If she falls into darkness, she will rapidly age and die. This is why Twilight will never leave the empire, despite her desire to hunt down the changeling queen and free her brother's soul.

there. long story done.

AWESOME!

One: I love the title cover, it would've fit so perfectly with my blog if I didn't uploaded it.

Two: TRIXIE IS AWESOME! TWILIGHT IS TO!

Three: I will sit back and read this over again, just to get the awesomeness steaming off of here.

Go Trixie! WOOT!!

Kick Twilight's traitorous ass!

Also, good story dude.

>>857182857182 AGREED!

" She needs to die Twilight. The enemy deserves no mercy. From the tiniest of foals to the most ancient of elders, enemies of the empire had to die. She knew this, she echoed and repeated and admonished her this fact. "

" "If my intentions weren't pure, the elements of magic would have killed me foal. You went too far." Twilight spoke almost friendly with the young unicorn, almost lecturing her arch nemesis. "

But her intentions weren't pure! The Elements should have thrown that traitor into the heart of the sun.

How many ponies did she brutally murder through the years, just for her psychotic Celestia?

Nope, One of the Trixies should have cut her head off long ago.

Other than that minor point, good story.

i never thought i would cheer for any thing named trixie

all hail the lunar republic

Badass chapter dude!  

>>902482902482

Twilight, if you read "Charity", is shown to be siiiiilightly insane (on the next chapter of it I'm going to show just how much). Moreover she has (as shown by the show) immense magical power.

What she used was indeed NOT the elements of harmony or even the element of magic.

glad someone saw it. I applaud your good eye.

and as a general FYI-I have this kinda crap everywhere. No single story tells everything. Nor are some 100% honest.

Oh and I think it's mentioned on chapter 1. but... yeah Trixie the great and powerful (wen GAP is added to Trixie it always means the original) was the Lunar republic's greatest magician and also the most able general.

Trixie fought with Twilight many times before she was finally bested. So yeah this goes right back to the very first Trixie.

Lol *69th descendant*

>>908864908864

*brohoof

tho alot of ppl tend to miss the fact that 69 looks like the...

Image: http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y84/tsukinofaerii/My%20Little%20Pony/Episode1/01.png

>>904036904036

dont be a neighsayer

CeresBane,

Well, given how this story went, I already hit the favorite on Charity.

You write a good story, and I'm glad I hit the watch button.