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Troutking 51448

Joined May 2012
78 followers

    Troutking's Stories (5)

    • What makes us?
      What makes us who we are? Friends? Foes? Family? Memories?

      10,111 words · 820 views · 58 likes · 0 dislikes
    • Remnants of the Crystal King
      Twilight discovers the journal of King Sombra, and the unexpected secrets within.
      7,246 words · 2,887 views · 165 likes · 10 dislikes
    • What was Lost

      88,496 words · 1,480 views · 233 likes · 21 dislikes
    • A Brand New Canvas
      An artist decides to join the royal guards.
      7,505 words · 82 views · 16 likes · 0 dislikes
    • Behind the Masks
      6,187 words · 464 views · 32 likes · 3 dislikes
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    Fenrir ran for a good while before we decided that the ponies weren't following us. I reached into my bag and grabbed a few survival supplies I had bought in Cantorlot flint and tinder, a sleeping mat and a pointed metal rod. Fenrir left to collect some firewood while I set up our camp. I had just begun to roll out my bed mat when a rustling is heard from  the bushes. I slowly pulled out my crossbow careful not to make any sudden movements as to alert whatever may be lurking in the bush. My crossbow locks on to the bush as my trigger finger itches. The wind carries the sound of me whispering "Ignis ventus". The had taken form. A slight warm blow emanated form the bolt. Slight red color peeking out from the constantly shifting whirlwind surrounding the bolt. I pulled the trigger sending the bolt off on its mission. A moment after the bolt hits the top half of the bush falls off, the branches giving off a burnt smell. I trudged over the remnants of the bush. The leaves rustled when I separated them to reveal a headless fox. I reached down and grabbed the head of the fox and inspected the cut. Hot damn it cauterized the entire cut.


    I brought the fox's body over to my mat and grabbed a survival knife from the void. The skin peeled off the body easily with each stroke of the knife until the entire fox was furless. I checked to make sure the blood drained out into the grass, so that it didn't create more red splotches on my coat. I began to cut the fox into separate chucks so that each peice would cook better and faster. I grabbed one of the legs and ran it through with the metal rods. I lowered myself down on to my bed roll and leaned back while I waited for Fenrir to return with the wood need for the fire.


    The crickets sung, while the moments simply flowed away. Soon Fenrir returned with a large stack of sticks and twigs. I piled the twigs and stick in the dame manner they did on Survivor Man and Bear Grylls. I created a large pile of dry small twigs and grass in the center, and then made a tepee over top of it. I searched the nearby area for rocks; I found a few large enough for what was needed. I created a circle of stones around the tepee, to insulate the fire. I lit the kindling with the flint. It took a few seconds for the fire start going hard enough for me to cook the meat. Once it had reached the peak temperature I hung the piece of fox meat over it allowing the sweet smells of cooking meat to spread around us. A loud yawn escaped my mouth.


    "Hey Fenrir, why do you hate Loki so much?"


    "I do not hate my father, I simply do not agree with his ways."


    I check the meat, "Daddy wanted you to go in the family business?"


    "Yes, he wanted me and my brothers to be like him. He may have gotten us to follow, had he done anything besides tricking others for his amusement."


    "What about your mom?"


    "She was a witch."

    I put the meat over the fire, "That's not very nice..."


    "No, I mean she was a literal witch. When my father met her, he stole her heart."


    "That sounds very romantic."

    He turns his head toward me, "No, he ripped the heart out of her chest to make me."

    "That's, less romantic." We both chuckle at the joke. I cringe with each laugh from the pain of the wound.


    Fenrir looks at my face and notices the pain, "You said that one of your ingredients was bark from the World Tree, correct?"


    "Yah, why?"


    "I may know someone who can help with your wound."


    "Oh please it's not that bad. It will heal up without any need for medics."

    He gave me a slightly worried face, "The cut is deeper than you think, it will get an infection unless you get help and the healing needed for that would take weeks. I have seen stronger and better warriors then you be brought down by a simple cut."


    "Fine," I reach into my bag and pull out my map, "it says here that the closest town, besides Stalliongard, would be Wethoof, which happens to be in the jungle. We'll head there tomorrow, and get me patched up ok?"

    "That is suitable. We do not want to end this adventure early because of an easily healed wound." He lowers his head to rest on the dirt, “You should rest, I will watch for any enemies."


    I yawn, "I guess you’re right, first thing in the morning, we head out to Wethoof to see if they can treat the cut." I lie down on my mat and allow the sweet peace of the darkness to envelope me.


    PoV of Maelstrom


    Rocks and gravel fly as I sprinted down the path on all fours. The indents of the monstrous wolf that the bugbear ran off on lead my path forward. Zephyrinus bounced loosely on its strap with each stride. The wind carried the song of the crickets across the fields. Subtle breezes blowing the grass, creating waves. I will hunt down that bastard down and drag him face in the ground to the bounty office. I stop, noticing the tracks go on a straight track down the path. Stupid wolf, all it did was fallow the path. I reach back to adjust the strap of my weapon so I didn't cut my own wings off mid-flight. I unfurl my wings and prepare to take flight. I slowly begin to flap the wings creating more and more lift. Soon my feet lifted from earth as I rose from the sky.


    I flew 30 feet in the air to get good view of the entire area. The hills went on for miles, with small forests spread across it. The Soaked Cat River off in the distance. I still don't know why they named it after that old nursery rhyme. I began to push forward cutting through the air. With each flap I became more determined to find him. It was strange though. He didn't act like most big bounties, he didn't act high and mighty or afraid shitless. It's strange, and that arm of his. My Zephyrinus' blade is titanium but his arm stopped it like nothing. I continue to fly passing any birds that may still be flying at this hour. The moon shone down on my back as I flew. All I do know is that I will find him. And with that last thought I continued to fly through the mid night air.

    Comments ( 11 )

    #1 · 46w, 6d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    BUCK EM' UP GRIFFY! :yay:

    #3 · 46w, 6d ago · · ·
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    No offense, dude, but your use of tenses, particularly at the start, is appallingly bad, and there were a lot of spelling mistakes. I'll just correct the first paragraph to show you what I mean.

    "Fenrir ran (past tense) for a good while before we decided that the ponies weren't fallowing (following*) us. I reached into my bag and grabbed a few survival supplies I had bought in Cantorlot (Canterlot*), (should probably be a colon) flint and tinder, a sleeping mat and a pointed metal rod. Fenrir leaves (randomly switches to present tense) to collect some firewood while I set up our camp. I just began (I'm not sure whether this was supposed to be past or pluperfect, but either way, it's switched back from present tense) to roll my mat when I hear (now we're back to present) rustling in the bushes. I slowly pull out my crossbow careful not to make any sudden movements as to alert whatever may be lurking in the bush. My crossbow locks on to the bush as my trigger finger itches. The wind carries the sound of me whispering "Ignis ventus". Slowly a bolt took form (aaaaaand we're back to past tense). A slight warm blow emanated form the bolt. Slight red color peeking (this needs to be "peeked" or "peeks" otherwise the sentence isn't a sentence due to the lack of a verb) out from the constantly shifting whirlwind surrounding the bolt. I pull the trigger (boom - present tense again) sending the bolt off on its mission. A moment after the bolt hits the top half of the bush falls off, the branches giving off a burnt smell. I trudged (past once more) over the remnants of the bush. The leaves rustled when I separated them to reveal a headless fox. I reached down and grabbed the head of the fox and inspected the cut. Hot damn it clotterized (I'm thinking this was supposed to be "cauterised", or "cauterized", I suppose, for American English. Furthermore, this sentence should be in quotations or italics to indicate that it's speech or thought.) the entire cut."

    I'd also put in a bunch of commas in certain sentences to make things clearer, but that's something that depends on the individual writer - I know I, for example, have a tendency to overuse them.

    I hope that helps and doesn't come across as dickish. :)

    #4 · 46w, 5d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Wethoof huh? Say hi to Echo!

    #5 · 46w, 5d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    Echo would be long gone by now>>977820

    #6 · 46w, 5d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>978634 Oh well.

    #7 · 46w, 5d ago · · ·
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    The had taken form---- Where is the word 'Bolt' which would be so good there.

    the dame manner they did on Survivor Man ------ Same

    I am not feeling too tired to notify of more. May I suggest reading through your own text 12 hours after writing it. Might help.

    #8 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>1000462

    I dont know what your talking about....

    #9 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>1000625

    Still no idea what your talking about..:rainbowhuh:

    #10 · 46w, 1d ago · · ·
    Reply 

    >>1000480

    I don't what you're knowing about.

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    AHA! I KNEW YOU WOULD WANT TO READ WHAT I WAS GOING TO WRITE AT THE END!!!

    #11 · 44w, 16h ago · · ·
    Reply 

    the dame manner: the same manner

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