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Would you risk your life to save a stranger?
What if you could only save her for twenty minutes?
A Fallout: Equestria side-story.
On EQD May 30, 2014.
Reading by Illya Leonov (YouTube, mp3).
Russian translation by Psychoshy@ficbook.net and others.
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I personally am very interested to see where this is going. Fave'd for intrigued.
976663
That's all there is. You know how sometimes a little story grows into a big story? This is the remains of a big story. I had an alternate-history Fallout: Equestria story in my head, but eventually I realized that I didn't have the stomach to write it.
As for this story, turning it into an adventure with a daring rescue would ruin it. It's about somepony who's powerless in the face of injustice, and does the little bit that he can anyway.
Notice that Amadi and the guards all want to treat the pegasus better, but they're all afraid of each other.
Fucking Hell. OUCH.
This was condensed, weaponized sadness.
Have a Fave.
I liked it.
Soldiers aren't evil. Governments are evil.
...At least, that's what I try to believe. The zebras of FO:E are about as disgusting as they come. But even among monsters there is always a saint.
Fucking depressing, but a little heartwarming all the same.
D:
Sweet merciful...
Bleak. No other word for it. Pain, made into words.
Have my thumbs. All of them.
I'm going to go and drink alcohol. I may never stop.
... Did I just read an FO:E fic?
Very nice.
Hmm. I thought he was going to slit her throat. To end this quick, painless and fast. I am disappoint.
But that's a damn good fic.
1021379
Yes. Yes you did.
1021379
Now you are one of us. Your life will never be the same.
Very nice. I had enjoyed it. Tugged at the strings a bit -- not as much as it could have -- but I liked it.
A word of note, though: When you write the title of anything -- be it a chapter or a story -- you capitalize any words greater than three letters, with exception to the starting word, or important words.
Wow. That was... so sad
1019761
People are evil. Not all, not even most, but some most certainly are. Governments are made of people, and the ones at the top are evil. If they weren't, they wouldn't be there. Government is force. Naked, aggressive, force. That is evil.
This story made me mad. Very well done. Thumbs up.
You, sir, have made me a sad panda. I like it regardless.
Someone told me that Equestria was their happy place. Do you get hate mail for writing this stuff?
It's awful and horrible and bleak and beautiful, all at the same time.
J.
1445391
You clearly haven't read Fallout: Equestria.
1445391 Haven't gotten any yet. I'll know I'm popular when I do.
Wow.
Just.
Wow.
That was a great story, it wasn't at all like I would have expected from a Fallout Equestria fic and it's all the greater for it. It was so simple yet so amazing. Heartbreaking and uplifting at once. I look forward to reading anything else you may have written.
Just read this story today on my quest to consume all your pony words and gave it a thumb before thinking too deeply on it and moved on. I'm embarrassed to admit that your works require me to do a bit too much digging to get to the good nuggets.
The reason I'm leaving comment, though, was that I also read the new chapter of Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons and took very special note that a new war-era character that was introduced was a zebra named Amadi. Is this a rather unusual coincidence? Your story didn't seem to imply that he was anything out of the ordinary, but it's quite possible that enough time passed between the events of this story and PH that they could be the same character.
Anyway, I thought you might be able to clear this up. Somber has a way of cleverly sneaking in references to other Fallout side stories, but then again perhaps Amadi is a common pick for a zebra name. Or coincidence.
1987496 I chose the names in my story from a list of African names. They were all from the same region of Africa, but now I've forgotten what part. (Hopefully one that has zebras.) I don't know how to contact Somber, so I can't ask. Until I hear otherwise, I'm going to pretend that it's a reference to my Amadi!
Thanks for pointing that out!
I don't know whether to thank you for this beautiful story or yell at you for breaking my heart. I think instead I shall simply say thank you and leave the tears where they fall.
I am not even going to try and explain how beautiful and sad and wonderful and horrible this story is... all at the same time.
It's just perfect.
For being the most beautiful, sad and most fitting story to describe Fo:E in shortest words does I hereby grant this story my stamp of approval
th04.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2013/056/8/a/commission__brony_seal_of_approval_by_shrineart-d5w6301.png
Loved it. Strange thing, but it always seems that the better FO:E sidestories out of the ones I've read have been the ones that are also the most condensed. Ironic, really, given their parentage.
I'd say the cutting back and forth between the interior of the room and the guards outside weakens this one.
The room is the pegasus' entire world, and by reminding the reader of the outside you cut down on the claustrophobia, despair and caged nature that could lead to empathy.
I mean, I get why you did it and the point you were trying to make about how everyone is scared of someone else, but I think the point displaced the story. The suffering was less powerful than it could have been.
That said, the bit at the end about him looking at the clock was very simple and effective. The futility of it all.
2602805 You think it would work to simply strip out those cuts to the outside? They're also there for pacing, to give a sense of time passing even though during that time the protagonist isn't doing anything. I didn't know how to stay in the room and show time passing while nothing happens without boring the reader.
2614367
I can see how you couldn't simply cut the sections out, but maybe put in more description of him trying to coax her like she were a wounded animal with the apple, or more description of the physical (her body being malnourished and mangy) when it comes to her scream.
1352435
It takes a very, very bad government indeed to be worse than no government at all.
2614367
I think the cuts work well. They introduce a dose of irony that adds nicely to the story.
3612348
Au contraire.
Or perhaps I should say, there are only very, very bad governments.
For, what could be worse than pure, violent force for the purpose of controlling the many for the benefit of the few? Is freedom only better than slavery if the slavery is very, very bad? Slavery is always very, very bad.
"That government is best which governs least"
That government which governs least is no government.
Which is worse, power concentrated under the the few and the evil, or spread out evenly? When a force monopoly is given to the few, they may overwhelm the good. When you grant them no such advantage, there are more good men than evil, and the latter may be easily corrected, as Jeff Cooper said, by good men with rifles. For a good example, see April 19th, 1775.
Ha. They are all pressed into mock vallainy; fearing to expose their virtue to one another.
I like that.
I don't know anything about Fallout, it's Equestrian variant, or anything of that nature, but the Zebras have a Caesar? I never pegged them as Romanesque.
Meh. I think this chapter was unnecessary in a story set entirely in the denouement.
Overall, good snapshot.
1019761
The war started over a disputed shipment of coal. The power-generating industries of Equestria claimed that the coal was theirs, while the coal-mining companies of the Zebra-Nation claimed that the coal was not sold yet. The Princesses gave into internal pressure, and seized the shipment with force. The ponies shot first, although both sides acted like spoiled children, leading to the exchange on the Final Day, when the Zebras anticipated an Equestrian victory within an year (at this point, the war raged for a generation), and, fearing that the ponies will not be magnanimous, fired their Megaspell-powered Weapons at Equestria, in hope that it would destroy Equestria and destroy its ability to counterstrike. The Megaspell-based weapons killed 90% of the population that day, but Equestria counter-striked with its own megaspell-powered weapons, which since it invented megaspells, it had more of them and they were more powerful. 99% of Zebras died that day. The Zebra-Nation and Equestria wiped each other off of the map. The devastation from the megaspell-based superwearons killed half of all sentient sapient life in the other lands on their world within an year. The survivors cloud not even use clocks for planning their activity because the Sun and Moon went feral, making day-length irregular.
The war starting over a disputed shipment of coal, which the Equestrian Military took by force is from Project New Horizons, which Kkat made canonical when she cowrote a chapter featuring Black Jack and Little Pip meeting.
3885048 I'm keeping that out of my FoE canon, regardless of kkat writing a chapter for PNH. Kkat likes PNH; that doesn't mean it matches up with her head-canon, and I think that story for the origin of the war is very, very damaging to FoE.
One of the key points of FoE--one of the things that makes it interesting--is that the characters spend half the book trying to learn how the war started, and whose fault it is. They discover that it isn't anybody's fault. And Fallout:Equestria explicitly denies the coal story; everything centers on the battle at the school for unicorns, where it's made clear that neither side made one obvious triggering move, like stealing coal. Everything went wrong through a combination of misunderstandings and stupidity.
That's a central theme of Fallout:Equestria. Bad things aren't always the result of bad people. The reason it combines ponies and Fallout, the central question it poses, is, "How could creatures as nice as ponies be reduced to wasteland raiders?"
3613082 I sense you are a an anarchist-libertarian, no?
3888855
Gosh, how did you ever guess?
3889287 just a hunch.
3889312
Any views on the subject?
3889317 I myself am a heterosexual feminist pro-choice pro-LGBTQ hippie Christian pacifistic capitalistic socialist. I also spent most of my pre-college life living as a bat pony in Ponyville. I'm sure there's something there to discuss.
3889352 No doubt. =P
I thought I was a mouthful at Individualist-anarcho-capitalist-libertarian.
3889426 are you part of the group Political Ponies?
3889426 3889515 I'm thrilled to have brought you two dangerous subversives together. It's my evil deed for the day. Could you take this conversation to private message?
3889534 oops.
sorry. Yes of course. I'm guessing continuing a conversation here after you've asked us to stop is far too petty to get me into your evil league, huh? 
3889547 It might get you in, but you'd be the guy who has to make coffee and get sandwiches.
3889534
3889547
Hah! We shall respect your private domain, and remove ourselves as per your rightful request. How's that for subversion of evil?