A bad dream leaves Rainbow Dash nervous to be around her close friend Pinkie Pie, will her seemingly irrational fear end their friendship?
Alternate ending of Cupcakes,
You've got a wall of text going here.
Indent your paragraphs and put spaces between them. People will always rage at you if you don't.
Don't worry. I didn't down vote your story. These are just rookie mistakes and you shouldn't feel too bad or be ripped to bits for them.
My main gripe is that you shouldn't copy and paste so much content from other stories. I'm assuming that first stuff in italics was from "cupcakes," I've never read it, so I don't know for sure.
Also, a lot of people have already written alternate endings to this story, so you might provoke people's rage by adding another one. Try to research what has already been done before write something. Of course, everything has already been done, but the question is how much and if people want more or not.
For example, you could ship TwiDash and probably make a lot of people happy, even though everyone is always doing it.
You'd also do well to add a cover art for your story. A lot more people will click on it that way. Original art is ideal, but it can be hard to fine unless you make it yourself, so I just use vectors (like your profile pic).
I haven't read "Cupcakes" and I don't ever intend to but this was a nice story.
>>722477722477 I feel you Brony.... I accidentaly watched
The animated version on YouTube ....never again
Will I let curiosity kill the pony......... never again....
I almost hurled when I watched that horrible thing. I was afraid of this story at first, but it's nice. I feel a (little) better... I will not like or dislike, because of the gore at the begining.
Edit: Nevermind, faved.
Your first fanfic? This is actually not bad at all. And while there may be a lot of alternate endings to Cupcakes, we can never have enough Pinkie-Dash interaction ;) I have to agree with Sagewise, though; you really need to divide this up into paragraphs.
Try reading Rocket To Insanity.
Okay, so I was wrong to assume that people were fed up with alt endings to this story.
Anyway, good job. If you like writing you should keep at it and you'll be able to entertain a lot of people here.
I thought this was a pretty good alternate end to an infamous grimdark, great job!
meh its alright
yay i love that you put a happy ending!!!
>>722476722476 Thanks for the advice,
And yeah, the italics stuff in the beginning was copy/pasted from Cupcakes, I wasn't really sure how else to start the story. I'll try not to do that, next time though.
As for all the other alternate endings, I know there are a bunch but I wanted to do one myself, I felt like people might not wanting more wouldn't matter, I wrote this because I wanted to, not because I cared about the popularity.
As for cover art, I'm still trying to find one that fits
Seriously though, thank you so much. This is my first story, and I'm trying to get better at writing.
>>749021749021 Writing for yourself is best.
I'm not sure I would have gotten into writing after my first story, but one person gave me a lot of feedback and encouragement. I try to help people who are new as well.
I can give you more feedback on your writing if you ever want anything pre-read.
>>722459722459 I'm sorry for wasting your time *Filly Twilight voice*
>>723525723525 I already have
Given your late reply, I'd assume you read it in the between When I posted that comment abd when YOU replied.
>>751744751744 No, actually I read it a while ago. I'm new to this site, so it took me a while to realize when I got notifications
"I've bet we've got a LOT of hungry costumers."
And also, when Dash is freaking about one of Pinkie's outbursts, you misspelled "sentences".
But besides that, this was just fantastic.
I thought this story was really good Bravo! But poor Dashie
watching it wow that was the least freaky version of it their is a very good drawn one and reading it is definitely the worst but i like how he made it funny
You managed to erase that awful story from my mind. Thank you
>>722579722579>>722628722628 That's why I read reviews and skim over.
The best stories are written for their own authors.
I've been trying to get Cupcakes out of my head for a while now, most recently because of a horrifyingly good instrumental fan album called Rocket To Insanity. I've realized that it stuck in my mind because of the numbers. Never explained, never caught onto by Rainbow, and never rejected by Pinkie. The numbers are the true villain, whether Pinkie's schizophrenia, dark magics, or a malevolent spellcaster.
...And AdChoices below this comments box is an online sword store. That's it, time for bed.
thank you...you have single-handedly fixed the dilemma of cupcakes.
sometimes a cupcake, is just a cupcake.
No! The Elipsis at the end! Why!! Why must you torment me with it! AAARGH!
Other than that, this story is really good.
This is Australia...
This is the true ending in my book Screw the old ending! This is what my mind will think of from now on, Just a dream. I feel way better now reading this.
I definitely like this ending. I watched the youtube version, and was Freaked-Out, and I've seen some twisted sh*t! Great job.
You are very welcome. Keep the stories coming!
HOLY WALL OF TEXT! Honestly I liked this :)