Apple Acres and Sugar Cube Corners proudly presents, Real Mares of Genius...
Real Mares of Genius... baby~~.
Late at the party and getting down on the dance floor, we chase down a smooth one for you, Ms. Super-Model Nopony.
Ms. Super-Model Nopony~~! Hacha.
Somebody call a cop, because it must be a crime to look that good. You've got all the right curves in all the right places.
Somebody call 911~~~!
Not a curve on you goes unnoticed by your fans and admirers. That's why your restraining order stretches from Canterlot to Ponyville.
Not just boys on that list~~~!
But none of that bothers you, you've got your career to worry about and stay focused on. Only you can take care of your pivotal job, your highly important work... only you.
So important we don't even know what~~~!
You hang off of Fancypants like your his scarf, so everypony in Canterlot knows you. But your name is another matter.
Hey look it's that girl~~~!
So take a load off and take down that drink, oh babe of the unbeknownst. Because you'll always have a place with us... from 9 PM to 12 AM on the week nights.
Ms. Super-Model Nopony~~~! Mmm!
Now for stress relief with Twilight Sparkle.
"Stress. We all have it, some more than others. But we all have ways of dealing with it. Now I'm sure your way of dealing with it is very effective for you, but I've devised a highly effective way. Let me explain so you may be more prepared to deal with stress:
First, you must collect your thoughts and keep a cool head. This is by far the most troubling part, but I'm sure you can do it.
Next, loosen up your limbs and neck muscles. Just let yourself go free without a care in the world.
After that, take a moment to open your mind and take in all the things around you. The chirping birds and soft gusts will be your soothing tone.
Finally, part yourself away from everything around you and just lay down. Take a moment to just let yourself go.
See? It's simple. And to make it more simple, I've made an acronym. Collect, loosen, open, part. CLOP. So remember everypony, if you're ever stressed, just CLOP."
That was stress relief with Twilight Sparkle.