Blue Strings

Dark Lightning

Dark Lightning #1 · Jun 8th, 2012 · · ·

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^ You son of a bitch.........you and your spamming..

alright, the story.......It was awesome...

paxtofettel

paxtofettel #2 · Jun 8th, 2012 · · ·

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715143

Spam, spam, spam, spammity, spam, spam, spam, spam, spammity spam, wonderful spam.

thewaffler

thewaffler #3 · Jun 8th, 2012 · 1 · ·

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Wow...hetero Lyra and Bon Bon that's extremely rare. Bon Bon usually gets more pairings like that and they are usually Caramel which makes sense with them both being named after candy though I'm not sure what a bon bon consist of, I think it's chocolate and nougat. I'm getting off topic. I like this fic and for it's length it doesn't feel all that long, it was well written even if in my opinion Greek is not my favorite sounding language of the Latin descent, but hell at least it wasn't Russian.

Peace Out.

paxtofettel

paxtofettel #4 · Jun 8th, 2012 · · ·

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717354

Um, Greek isn't from Latin descent. In fact, Greek kinda came before Latin.

thewaffler

thewaffler #5 · Jun 8th, 2012 · · ·

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717384
I'm not talking about ancient Greek, but rather it'd modern counterpart which is influenced by Latin in more than a few ways because if you remember correctly ancient Greece was basically wiped out by the plague, war and other disease. Without people there is no language, so yeah Greek may been influenced by Latin and vice versa due to both technically existing at the same time. I will concede that Latin came first but really when it comes down to I'm grateful that you didn't use Russian or an other Slavic language because as someone who had to learn it to get by, it's an ugly language that isn't sexy at all. Languages have a form and beauty and there are just some that look like they were hit in face with a shovel.

paxtofettel

paxtofettel #6 · Jun 8th, 2012 · · ·

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717449

Well, I thought Greek was appropriate seeing as how the lyre is (or at least was) popular in Greece.

thewaffler

thewaffler #7 · Jun 8th, 2012 · · ·

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717500
True, but it's also popular with American folk music along with guitar, sitar, mandolin and basically any two handed string instrument. Personal preference to folk music, which I like a lot.

paxtofettel

paxtofettel #8 · Jun 8th, 2012 · · ·

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717529

But it originated in Greece.

Jaelommiss

Jaelommiss #9 · Jun 8th, 2012 · · ·

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Not a bad story. Having a half decent back story is a pleasant change around here. It's also nice to see a romance story that doesn't end in clop.

My only complaint is the sheer number of semicolons in the story. I counted 72 of them. One per ~107 words is a bit much. I didn't notice too many used incorrectly, but it is still far more than necessary and (for me) detracted from the story as a whole.

The other langauge (Greek?) was a nice touch. I'm not usually a fan of more than one language being used, but you found a way to make it simple enough to understand, but bold enough to punctuate Lyra's foreignness. Yes, foreignness is a real word.

I'd rate the story 4/5
There's room to improve, but it was a solid start. It made for an enjoyable read on the way home from work.

paxtofettel

paxtofettel #10 · Jun 9th, 2012 · · ·

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717637

Fair enough, fair enough.

Yokal

Yokal #11 · Jun 12th, 2012 · · ·

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Lovely having read a refreshing take on the shipping pair. Not orthodox but very well thought out. And I should point out on Jaelommiss's comment about adding Greek as part of Lyra's background fits perfectly. Kinda cliff-hanged at the last part not from the Lyra and Blues saying goodbye part. It was having Caramel seem dead tired, though you could have extended the "Fine, but only because I can't resist your magical hooves" line just a tad bit.