Just gotta say it.  Your is possessive, not you're.  You're is the conjunction of you and are.  Other than that, great work so far.

>>3722637226 Thanks for the tip. Sadly that's one of the things that keeps getting me, I can never figure out which one I'm supposed to use at each time :/

Thanks though :D Hopefully you're enjoying it and hopefully the next chapter will be along soon.

>>3752237522  I am definitely enjoying it.  Love the story idea.  Keep up the good work!

>>3779137791 Thank you :) I'm glad you like it. With luck the next chapter will be along soon.

This is good. It needs to get more views

>>3792137921

Heh I'm glad you liked it :)

Interesting, I shall read more!

>>4556445564

I'm glad you're enjoying it so far :D

It's a fic within a fic! Fimception! :D

Interesting. As to pinkie (I haven't read the next chapter yet, so you may have already done this) its accepted in the fandom and hinted at in canon that she can 4th wall break. Considering that he's aware that he's in a story, she could break that level of the forth wall easily without detracting from the plot. Might give you the edge you need to fight destiny.

Hmm, as to the magic siphon, I'd assume it'd require a ritual circle. Not that I've seen a ritual circle in mlp, but usually those things tend to.

For Rarity, possibly rewrite it so that Applejack lasso'd him, and she was holding the rope together with her magic. Gives AJ a reason to be there, and falls within her power levels.

Any inconsistencies with magic you can blame on your character in the future, just lampshade it. "Its almost like whoever came up with this plan didn't even have the fundamental understanding of magic to know this wouldn't work!" ~Twilight

>>341680341680

Sorry for taking so long to respond lol. I need to see if there's a way to get email alerts for reviews >.<

Didn't even think of that at the time :P

Heh, I like the idea with Pinkie Pie, if anyone can save the day...:P

Hmm, that's not a bad idea actually, I might look at redoing that shortly, makes a lot more sense. As for the ritual circle...yeah, that would make a lot more sense as well...I really should have done some form of research XD  Love the quote too :P

Thanks for the reviews though :D Hope you (And everyone else) is enjoying the story so far. Hopefully I can keep it enjoyable.

No worries, just because I don't have a life and am on here at least 12 hours a day doesn't mean I expect anyone else to be

There is, though I don't remember where the "send email for" option was, it's in the control panel somewhere.

Any other logistic issues you have? Like I said, at this point, I have no life, so I've been spending a lot of time sci-fiing it up, and am full of a verisimilitude of pointless fictional universe mechanics.

And big words. I have a lot of big words.

Haha nothing wrong with that   I spend a lot of time here as well.

Yeah I managed to find it. Apparently it was already ticked though, no idea why I'm not getting emails though :/ Oh well.

Big words are nice :P But yeah, I'll keep that in mind, thanks for the offer :D Sadly I tend to, write as I go, things I plan rarely end up working out >.<

If knows the general plot for how things are going to go, is there any good reason why he doesn't 'suddenly remember' and tell the ponies 'the nightmare's plan'? Because if he has one, I'm not seeing it. And in the absense of a good reaosn, not doing so makes him look like a bit of an idiot.

>>349174349174

I'm, working on that lol. But, yeah I figure revealing that their lives are pretty much a cartoon/fiction would cause a lot of panic and confusion amongst the ponies, so revealing the whole mess is a fanfiction wouldn't go over well.

That said, I agree that he could come up with some reason why he knows more about the situation and let them in on what's going on. We'll see how things go :P

>>349180349180

Yes, but that's why I said 'suddenly remember the Nightmare's Plan'. He doesn't need to tell the the ultimate origin of where the plan comes from. Applejack will know he's still leaving out a detail or two, but she'll also know everyone he's being truthful about everything else he has said.

And, um, not to put too fine a point on it - but if he still believes that his imagination came to life, and created the Nightmare, and an entire world, and populated it with sentient beings - then either he is a god, or he's the dumbest moron on this entire site, and there are are a lot of abismally stupid characters on this site! He really should have figured out by now that Equestria almost certainly predates both his arrival, and the entire Hasbro franchise.

Of course it might not. But, you know, that woudl be a odd plot twist.

>>349380349380

True, true, it wouldn't be hard to reveal the plan without revealing his involvement in the grand scheme of things. *Makes a note of that*

Haha I think by now he's gotten used to the fact that Equestria is a real place, but, yeah he's not a god by any stretch of the word I need to resolve that a little more too I think. I agree that its kinda stupid to think he somehow created everything

His involvement is something I still need to fully figure out as well I think, why he's important to the plot and why the Nightmare needs him to make everything work...I don't plan ahead as well as I should >.<

Thanks for the comments :D

Good chapter but the quote is "Death has a hundred hands and walks by a thousand ways"  I dont know if you knew that and changed it or what so i though i should just tell you

>>374638374638

I'm glad you're liking it :D (I think lol)

Uh, yeah the quote was actually stolen from a game called 'Warhammer: Dark Omen'. I may have botched the actual line though, been years since I played it last...

Thanks for the heads up though :D I probably should have done my research a little better before quoting things

>>377009377009 actually its  T.S.Eliot quote

Death has a hundred hands and walks by a thousand ways.

T.S. ELIOT, Murder in the Cathedral

in all honestly that line just stood out so i looked it up on the internet =)

>>377022377022

Ohh cool

>>377061377061 would you mind reading a Fic that i wrote and tell me what you think i understand if you don't want to

>>377065377065

Sure I'm, sadly not much of a proof reader, but I'm more then happy to have a look and comment if you like.

>>377146377146 cool its on my profile if you want to read it

GOOD keep it up i cant wait for the next chapter

>>438385438385 Thanks Glad you enjoyed it.

LIVE TWILIGHT! LIIIIVE!

GASP an update

>>590923590923 Hehehe indeed! Much, much later then I wanted, buuuut an updates and update, right?

>>590942590942 as long as you get the stories out

>>590956590956 Tis what I aim to do

Wait. Rainbow Dash actually thinking? Oh dear that's terribly out of character...

And maybe it would help story matters if you stopped dancing around the central issue, have Simon tell some version of the truth, and actually advance the plot.

>>595578595578

Really? Didn't seem that out of character to me I guess I need to brush up on my ponies lol.

Heh, yeah I'm working on that...slowly I'm just having a hard time figuring out how he'd go about warning them about things without revealing everything about the situation. I'm not the best at planning ahead

>>595610595610 I think it was sarcasm

I know the feeling, but don't overthink it. I've killed two of my fics from overthinking them instead of writing.

It's a good chapter, but I can see why you'd feel it was pointless. It's not, in that it gets everyone from point A to point B, but non-plot driven chapters are always the hardest for that reason.

>>638455638455 That's good then, hate to misrepresent a character

Mm, sadly that's something I do quite often, overthink every detail and fail to actually write anything Need to work on that.

Well, I'm glad you liked it Good to know the chapter wasn't pointless filler, not entirely anyway lol.

>>638483638483 I have to say I'm proud of you for writing it. I had to cancel one of mine because I ran myself aground into one of these. Now you can move on and actually follow through with the plot.

>>638491638491 Heh, well hopefully I can keep going with it Certainly going to try my best.

'Hero arrives in X universe. Hero somehow winds up saving the day through either his presence or some unknown gift they'd received as part of their dimension hopping...' Well, guilty as charged. This has a good hook to it, I admire that.

>>756347756347 Yeah its a bit cliched sadly

That said, the only real 'advantage' the human character has is that he possibly knows what's going to happen before it does (Given he wrote the story their living)

Buuuut, yeah whether that helps in the long run or not remains to be seen. Especially since I keep forgetting to take advantage of it Lol.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed it Thanks for the comment!

Edit: Then again his presence got everyone killed in the original story...so It can't be that much of a advantage >.>

I second that. Interesting how you've placed Simon, and his perceptions of Equestria. For example, it is implied that he didn't know that Ponyville is adjacent to Sweet Apple Acres, yet, he writes fanfiction about the location and its characters. Strange. Maybe he has memory loss? Maybe I'm missing something? Maybe your forms of 'their', 'they're' and 'there' are messed up? I'm sure of that last one. Anyway, I'll have to read more of this later.

>>756376756376 Yeah I think I derped a bit on a few details >.<

There are a few points where Simon is deliberately playing dumb to avoid the ponies realizing he knows about Equestria. But there's probably a few times I probably just derped sadly.

As for the 'There' situation..I know, its a problem for me sadly I can NEVER get it right

Ahh well, slowly improving, slowly.