• Published 7th Jun 2012
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The Conversion Bureau: United We Stand - RK_Striker_JK_5



The TCB bites off more than it can chew as humans, Equestrians and Autobots roll out.

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Chapter Nine

Deep Space

Around Wolf-359 orbited the metal world known as Cybertron. Once it had drifted through the void, wracked by Quintesson conquest, the tyranny of the Functionists, the Great War between Autobots and Decepticons, the almost-complete depletion of its energy resources, and had almost been destroyed on numerous occasions. Now, it sparkled, lit from within and without as the numerous scars and wounds across its surface were healed.

In the northern hemisphere, like the jewel of a crown, sat Iacon, the hub-capital of Cybertron and the planet's largest city. The last stronghold for the Autobots during the Great War, it had been heavily damaged almost to the point of annihilation. Now, it had been rebuilt to its former glory and stood as a beacon of hope for the galaxy.

Near the center of the city stood the Council Pavilions, a series of gleaming edifices and the center of government. In the heart of the Pavilions stood the Main Council Chamber itself. A relatively small building, two stories tall, square with little ornamentation. When chief designers Hoist and Grapple questioned the requested design, Optimus Prime told them, “We are the servants of the populace, not above them or in any way superior. We do not need fancy designs or decorations to perform our duty, my old friends. Simple is better.”

In the Council Chamber itself was a simple semicircular table, curving around a lectern. Rows of chairs encircled the table. At the moment, five Autobots, one human male and a female buffalo occupied the Chamber. Council members Ultra Magnus, Kup, Impactor and Silverbolt sat in four of the seven chairs at the table, while Emirate Xaaron, chief diplomat and legal advisor, stood right behind them and to Ultra Magnus' right. On the table itself, Spike Witwicky, ambassador from Earth and the Autobot's oldest human ally and friend, stood in front of a podium scaled for his relatively-diminutive size. Little Strongheart, ambassador from Equestria, stood in front of another podium, one designed for her equinoid form.

Ultra Magnus looked to the three empty chairs and fiddled with a datapad. “I understand Optimus rushing off to Earth's aid, but did Elita have to go with him?”

Kup, one of the oldest Autobots still functional, chuckled and shook his head. “Never been in love have you, lad. Those two were apart for about four million years, so they're trying to make up for that in four.” He looked up at the ceiling. “I still remember the time I first met them at Polyhex.”

Silverbolt, leader of the Aerialbot combiner team, waved Kup off. “No time for your stories, old man.” He looked down at Spike and Little Strongheart. “Want to get into some power armor or your old Headmaster suit before we let him in, just to be on the safe side? Strongheart, what about you? I'm certain we can build something quickly for you before the meeting.”

Spike looked up at Silverbolt. His brow furrowed for a moment, but he shook his head and looked to the main entrance. “Thanks, but no. Earth doesn't have time at the moment. I don't think he'll try anything, either. That hasn't been his style for a while.”

Strongheart nodded. “I agree with my colleague. And I shall not show fear before this one. From what I have heard, he is a coward at heart. Or laser core, in his case.”

Ultra Magnus nodded, but his shoulder-mounted missile launchers swiveled to the door. “We're sure he's unarmed, right?”

Impactor, leader of the assault team known as the Wreckers, grinned and held up his right arm. A hook in place of a hand spun around. “He flew in unarmed, and he's been scanned and searched a dozen times over. I've had three of my best standing guard over him since he landed, too Even if he managed to smuggle something in, I think we four can handle him.” He pressed a button on a control panel mounted in the table. “Send him in.”

The main entrance opened, and Starscream, Air-Commander and leader of a rogue faction of the Decepticons, strode in. Even bereft of his null-ray cannons or any other weapons, and flanked by Wrecker members Bulkhead, Whirl and Roadbuster , he still managed to keep a swagger in his step and a smirk on his face. He stopped in front of the table and bowed deeply. “I am honored to be granted this audience by you.” He suddenly straightened up and his expression turned serious. “I know time is short, so I shall make this brief. Astrotrain is in deep space, with Soundwave, his team, and Shockwave aboard. Blitzwing is also there in formation. With a single transmission they can be at Earth in thirty-six hours to aid in some inter-dimensional threat I've heard about through the circuit path.” He held up a hand. “And to answer your first question, the human colonies my faction trades with have been very worried about the plight of their homeworld. It's all over their comm chatter.”

Spike crossed his arms and stared up at Starscream. “So out of the goodness of your laser core, you're here to help Earth out?”

Starscream looked down at Spike. He took a step forward, but Roadbuster jabbed the barrel of his automatic rifle right into Starscream's face. Bulkhead's left hand retracted and a rather large mace popped out of the socket, and Whirl's pincers clacked open and closed. Starscream scowled, held his hands up high and leaned back. “Oh, come now! You all know how self-serving I am. Do you really think I'd do anything while unarmed?”

Impactor held up his hook and pointed it at Roadbuster. “He's right. Step back and let him continue.”

Roadbuster growled, but pulled his rifle back while Bulkhead shuffled back a few paces. Whirl shrugged and let Starscream have some space, too, but kept his weapons trained on Starscream.

Xaaron stepped forward. “I have a feeling we all know what you want in return for your aid, Starscream. A formal end to hostilities between your faction and Earth, Cybertron and any government allied with us. Correct?”

Starscream's grin returned. “Exactly, Emirate. I feel that helping to save your oldest and staunchest ally from the invasion of the pastel-colored ponies would go a long way to show that I am sincere for peace. A peace I know Optimus Prime wants. He so wants, so needs the fighting, the senseless fuelshed to end.”

Strongheart's eyes narrowed. “And you wish for it to end as well?”

Starscream's smile fell away and his voice dropped as he spoke. “I have been fighting for a very long time, Strongheart. Longer than perhaps you can comprehend. Yes, I am self-serving. I look out for myself. I won't deny it. That doesn't take away from this being a good opportunity for a legitimate peace. We'll all get what we want out of it. I will remain king of my own little hill, and you will have peace.”

Ultra Magnus held up a hand. “Starscream, please wait outside while we talk.” He waited for Starscream to be escorted outside before standing up himself. He clasped his hands behind his back and started pacing in front of the table. “I don't like it. He's got something up his sleeve.”

Xaaron nodded. “You're right. He does; his continued survival.”

Strongheart looked across the table to Spike. “Forgive me for asking, but I am somewhat unfamiliar with the current situation concerning the Decepticons and Starscream.” She looked down as her cheeks turned red. “I've been trying to catch up as quickly as I could.”

Spike scratched his head and bit his lip. “Ho, boy. Well, to try and...” He paused for a moment before continuing. “Five years ago, Starscream founded a small colony on an uninhabited system and sent out a signal. A number of Decepticons followed it and joined him in a breakaway faction. For the past five years they've done their best to present themselves as 'respectable', engaging in trade with outlying colonies and even helping them out against Quintesson raids or other problems. Hell, in 2011 they helped save a relief convoy from a Tyroxian fleet.” He shook his head. “The sad part is, Starscream knows that we know he's sincere about wanting peace. It'll leave him functional and king of his own little hill.”

Strongheart slowly nodded as comprehension dawned. “He wants to save his own skin. That is his primary goal. Nothing else matters.”

Silverbolt balled his hand into a fist and brought it close to the table, but stopped short of slamming it into the metal. “Self-serving or not, we all know Screamer's got about two gigabytes of ambition on a one-gig hard drive. He's got something in his subspace pocket. The question is, what?”

Impactor shook his head. “Maybe, but doubtful. We've kept our optics on his little group ever since it formed. They're doing well, but right now they're not much of a military threat. Earth and Cybertron can have a couple of fleets over their heads if we had to.” He glanced up at Ultra Magnus. “I think we can trust him on a peace, up to a point.”

Silverbolt's optics blinked. “But what point, Impactor?” He stood up, pushing his chair back and sending it to the floor. “He can't be trusted. We all know it!”

Impactor rose to his own feet and jabbed his hook at Silverbolt. Kup slapped his forehead, but rose, wedged himself between the two and did his best to separate the two bickering Autobots.

Ultra Magnus's own optic sensors dimmed. A panel on his right leg slid open and a holster with his laser rifle popped out. With a single, smooth motion, he pulled it out and fired a single blast at the ceiling, blowing a small hole in it and startling everyone there. “We don't have time for this. Humanity has no time for this! We're going to deal with this right now.” He took two steps forward and stood over the table as the three sat back down. “Spike, Strongheart, your opinions? This affects you the most.”

Spike looked up at Ultra Magnus and looked him right in his optics. “I say we trust him, for the moment. I'm still not entirely sure about this alternate Equestria invasion or whatever, but we need brains and that team he mentioned has some big ones.”

Little Strongheart stepped away from her podium and craned her neck up to look at Ultra Magnus. “If war can be avoided, it should be avoided. I think we can trust Starscream to at least not give us a reason to annihilate him.”

Ultra Magnus leaned over the table and pressed the control panel in front of his chair. “Send him back in.” He turned just as Starscream was once more escorted into the room. “Okay, Starscream. First off, you're going to the comm station down the hall to tell your little group to head to Earth and help out any way they can, under EDC authority.” He hesitated and looked to Starscream's left. “After that, you'll be escorted back here... to sign a formal cease-fire agreement with our governments. And once the current crisis on Earth has been resolved, we can begin working to a peace treaty and formal cessation of hostilities.”

Starscream held his arms out and up. “I knew you'd do the right thing, Ultra Magnus!” he stepped around, placed one hand on Ultra Magnus' shoulder and swept the other out in front of them. “Let this day mark the dawn of a new era of peace for our people!” He leaned in close. “Could we also talk about prisoner exchanges, too? I do believe the Combaticons have done their time and are ready to make amends, as all under my lead are.”

Ultra Magnus jerked his shoulder away from Strascream's grip and pointed to the entrance. He turned to the others as Starscream was led out. “If anyone has any objections, please note them for the record.”

Silverbolt placed his elbows on the table and leaned forward. “I don't like it, but I also hope I'm wrong.”

Kup grabbed his shoulder and gently squeezed it. “Good on you, lad.”

Spike tapped his podium a few times. “I think it'd be a good idea for me to let Earth know as soon as possible about Starscream's help. I don't want to hand him any advantages or anything to gloat over. He'll be insufferable enough over this peace treaty as is.”


Neo-Equestria

Queen Celestia soared through the sky, leaving sonic booms and after-images in her wake. She would occasionally glance down at the land below, noting the various camps and settlements for the majority of the newfoal population. Her eyes narrowed as she focused on their shabby condition and how thin most of the newfoals looked. I'll have to have Fancy Pants or Busy Body look into this. They became ponies for a better life, not to live in squalor.

She looked ahead and spread her wings wide as her destination came into view. A mountain rose from the horizon, but it was not the craggy spire of rock that held her interest. Rather, it was what had been buried inside of it that drew her there.

Celestia landed in front of a tunnel. A pair of guards at the mouth bowed to her as she entered. Torches mounted in braziers flickered as she strode past them. After a few minutes, she emerged into a large cavern, easily a third of the base of the mountain. Occupying most of the cavern was a black-plated starship, resembling a flattened arrowhead. Celestia had once cursed herself for overlooking this particular piece of technology with the original barrier, but now she half-smiled at the opportunity it presented her. Perhaps we can fight technology with technology, at least until we've won.

A large number of ponies in lab coats or armor could be seen around it. One of them spotted Celestia and dropped to her knees, with almost everyone else following suit.

Celestia waved a wing at them. “Please, rise.” She approached a unicorn mare with a red mane and squared-off glasses. She lowered her head. “Moondancer, what progress has been made?”

Moondancer adjusted her glasses and floated a clipboard up to eye-level. “W-well, we've managed to restore twenty-three to what we believe to be working order. We think. Maybe?” She swallowed and wiped her forehead. “I-I'm sorry, it's just this is so beyond anything we've ever seen, even from the humans.”

Celestia looked up at a face stamped onto one of the armor plates, identical in shape to one she saw in Megan's mind, but with purple coloring instead of red. “It's all right, Moondancer. You've done the best you can so far.” She looked at an enormous open hatch on the side of the ship. Celestia's horn glowed and Moondancer floated up and over to her side. She spread her wings and flew up and through it, entering the ship itself.

It was a short trip for through an airlock and corridor for the two, the way lit by lamps and firefly lanterns. They came upon a large chamber near the center of the ship, a cargo hold of some sort, if the storage containers thrown about were any indication. Twenty-two large automatons were laid out on the floor, end to end. Another vastly larger one was vertical, held against a bulkhead by thick metal beams and straps. They were all mostly intact, as far as Celestia could tell. Their faces – when they had faces, instead of visors or grills in place of eyes or mouths – were frozen in a rictus of terror. All of them had their upper torsos pried open, exposing their inner mechanisms and devices. Unicorns stood next to them and levitated specially-shaped crystals into gaps in the interior, cramming them into any open space as tightly as possible.

Moondancer followed Celestia as she walked up to one of the machines. She read through her notes once more before speaking. “We think all they need is energy. We think. We hope.” She rifled through several sheets of paper, her eyes widening as she scanned through her notes. “And yes, your magic can repower them. That much is certain.”

Celestia paid Moondancer the barest bit of attention as she stared at the machine before her. Its form was very similar to the images of 'Optimus Prime' Megan had in her mind, although the colors of the metal were different and muted. Purple dominated the chest instead of red, and even though there was a mask, it, or rather he, still seemed to scowl. She rose her head and sucked in a lungful of air before projecting her voice out. “Attention, everypony! Please back away from the machines while I charge them. I don't know how they'll react.”

The ponies all bowed to her before scrambling away from the machines. Celestia's horn lit up and her eyes flashed. Beams of magic shot out from the horn's tip and struck the inner mechanisms of the machines. Slowly, their muted colors gained some measure of vibrancy and their limbs twitched. Low moans echoed out from them.

The one in front of Celestia shot up into a sitting position. His eyes or optic sensors or cameras blazed a fiery red. He reached his arms out towards Celestia. “Who are you? What the pit is going on? I demand – “

Celestia narrowed her eyes. She jabbed her head forward and telekinetically forced the machine back, pinning it to the ground. Her eyes shifted about as the others slowly sat up. “I wouldn't try anything if I were you. It's completely unnecessary, anyway. I wish simply to talk with you and offer a helping hoof, in exchange for you helping me out.”

One of the machines, a smaller one with dull-green coloring and dull-red highlights, suddenly began shuffling away as fast as possible from Celestia. He held his hands up and waved them in the air. “Sweet Primus get it away from me get it away from me!” His head suddenly shot up and he stared at the unicorns huddled near the back. His eyes or whatever it was that took their place brightened and he keeled back onto the deck, limbs spread out.

The machine lying in front of Celestia groaned and clenched his fists. “Hound, you cowardly blob of grease.” He tilted his head forward, far enough to look awkwardly at Celestia. “All right, what do you want from us? And what will we receive in return? More importantly, who and what are you?”

Celestia drew herself up to her full height and spread her wings out. “I am Queen Celestia, ruler of Neo-Equestria. A short time ago, I saved the human species by uplifting them into pony form, cleansing their world of all their sins in the process. Recently, I've discovered another Earth, with another human population. I intend to save them as well, and I need your help. Aid me, and you may leave here without incident.”

The machine leaned his head back down and laughed. The guttural sound echoed through the room as he spoke. “Hound, kill them all. Use their flesh for grease and their bones for picks! Smear them across the bulkheads!”

Hound looked to his apparent leader, then to Celestia. “I... no, way, Optimus! I'll get all icky and slimy. It's scrapping disgusting!” He waved him off. “Not doing it.”

Celestia arched an eyebrow and rubbed her chin. “'Optimus'? As in Optimus Prime, yes! I knew you looked like the image in Megan's head!” She frowned. “Hmm, two of you named Optimus? I don't like that. Too confusing, you see. There's already an alternate version of myself to contend with. Hmm, Nemesis Prime? Yes, that should do.” She waved a hoof at him. “I dub you Nemesis Prime!”

Nemesis Prime, as he was now known, screamed and smashed the floor with his fists. “Someone, turn her into a grease stain NOW! The first one to get to her does not suffer my wrath!”

One of the other machines rose to a standing position. He slammed a fist into the palm of his hand as he approached Celestia. He stopped and jerked back, limbs spasming as muffled thuds could be heard echoing inside. His torso bulged, and smoke wafted out of cracks even as bluish fluid streamed out of his mouth and eyes. He fell to the floor, twitching slightly.

Celestia's mouth turned slightly upward. “Inside your chests are crystals infused with some rather explosive magical energy. With but a thought, I can ignite the energy, detonate the crystals and terminate any threat you may pose to my ponies or my plans.” She cocked an eyebrow. “And yes, Nemesis Prime, that includes you.”

Nemesis Prime growled, more a discharge of static from a radio grille than anything produced by something organic. “Very well. I shall obey you. For now, at least. What is it you desire?” He sat up as much as possible. “I assume it's something dirty, so you don't sully your... do you even have hands?” He cocked his head to the side.

Celestia pawed at the deck plating, digging up a small furrow in the metal. “We do not, nor do we need them. Our magic and hooves are more than sufficient. Only lesser beings need them.” She sucked in a breath, then continued. “I am using an expanding barrier to cleanse this other Earth of its technology and any evil. The humans, however, are misguided, and oppose my help in saving them. I need the barrier guarded from their attacks, and that's where you and your fellow machines come in.”

Nemesis Prime barked a laugh. “Let me guess. We'll soak up whatever the humans throw at you so your precious ponies won't get their little waste-extraction systems kicked in?” He chuckled. “I'll admit, an admirable plan and something right up my alley.”

Celestia's mane wavered and lashed out as her eyes narrowed. “Please do not insult me with such comparisons or compliments. You will be supported by the Royal Guard, and the barrier at your backs will provide the perfect retreat if you need it. Serve me faithfully without betrayal, and I shall even let you depart Neo-Equestria in this vessel of yours.”

Nemesis Prime's right eye brightened. “'Without betrayal'? Do you know who you're dealing with?”

Celestia's right eye twitched, only for the fraction of a second, but it still moved. “I know I hold all the cards, Nemesis Prime. I know my cause is just, and will see it through to the end. I have much work to do here, so for the moment, I leave you to decide your fates.” She turned and trotted off, the other ponies following her as she left the room.

Nemesis Prime shot up into a sitting position. He scrambled to his feet and looked around. “On your feet!” He spun around as Hound approached and grabbed him by the shoulder. “Hound, you disobeyed me.” His grip tightened and the squeal of rent metal echoed in the room. “Tell me why I shouldn't scatter your parts from here to Cybertron!”

Hound gasped and dropped to his knees. “I-I'm sorry! I just panicked when I saw her and those other b-blobs of grease. I mean that's disgusting and please don't offline me please don't offline me!”

Nemesis Prime let go and shoved Hound down to the deck plating. “I'll let you function, if only because I'm short on manpower.” He pointed at wall and the inert mechanoid still strapped there, a large, gray machine with several translucent-orange panels scattered about its torso, and laser cannons instead of hands. “Grimlock, get Omega Doom operational. We're going to need all the firepower we can get.”

Grimlock, a stocky Autobot with gray armor plating, looked to Omega Doom. “What? I, Grimlock, given the honor of repairing our secret weapon? I shall do my best!” He bowed to Nemesis Prime.

Nemesis Prime nodded. “Good, good. As for the rest of you, get ready to do what you do best.” He clenched his fist and electric bolts arced from knuckle to knuckle. “We're going to war.”


Shining Armor stood just outside of Canterlot, right below the mouth of the portal that led to Earth. He turned to face the armored pegasi assembled in neat rows, stretching back across a vast field of grass, ready, willing and able to save humanity from itself with the potion in their saddlebags. It had taken some reorganizing and reshuffling, but now all was in readiness. “All right!” he shouted, his voice magically-amplified, “you know your duty! For Neo-Equestria!” He stepped back and jabbed a hoof at the portal. “Wave One...” His voice trailed off as he spotted Twilight and her friends galloping towards them. “Oh, for the love of–stand by!”

Twilight and the others slowed down as they approached Shining Armor. Twilight pasted a rather large grin on her face and leaned in close to him. “Shiny, I have a plan, but we need to get to Earth to do it!”

Shining Armor groaned, floated his helmet up and kneaded his forehead. “Twiley, we're kind of in the middle of a very important military operation, here.”

Twilight sidled up to him. “Please, Shiny? We won't get in the way. We'll cross over and I'll sense where we need to go. One teleport later and we'll be out of your mane!”

Pinkie bounded forward and began circling Shining Armor and Twilight in big bounces. “Yeah, Shiny! We gotta get over there and talk to our counterparts and help them to see how nasty humans are and how much they need our help!” She stopped in front of Shining Armor, dropped to one knee, held her front hooves together, and shook them as she stared up at him with large, pleading eyes. “Please?”

Shining Armor grimaced, but his head finally dropped and he waved them on. “All right, all right! I'll send the pegasi waves in five minutes after you.” He leaned forward and nuzzled Twilight. “Just be careful, okay?'

Twilight returned the nuzzle. “We will.” She turned around and walked back to her friends. Her face scrunched up in concentration as the tip of her horn glowed. A sphere of magic enveloped the six, and when it faded, they were gone.


On the former site of the Richards' now-destroyed home, ponies moved about, making preparations for the expansion of Neo-Equestria into this plane and the inevitable influx of humans to convert into pony form. Already supplies of potion were being stocked, and unicorns stood ready to teleport newfoals over for their glorious new future. They would occasionally glance at the barrier, the great shield and instrument of Queen Celestia's crusade.

A sudden pop and the appearance of Twilight and the other Bearers of the Elements of Harmony drew their attention. Several of the workers dropped down and bowed their heads as they passed by, then quickly returned to their work.

Twilight, meanwhile, groaned and dropped back onto her haunches. She massaged the base of her horn. “Okay, that was... harder than I thought.”

AJ knelt by Twilight's side and pulled a bottle of cider from her saddlebags. “You all right, sugarcube?”

Twilight took the bottle with her magic and greedily gulped down several swigs, draining it dry.” Thanks.” She slowly stood up and shook her head, sending her mane swishing about. “Okay, I think I'm better.” She breathed in and out. “That still took a lot more out of me than I thought it would.” Her gaze drifted to the so-called 'Rainbow Bridge' that led to the other Equestria. Her eyes traveled up the solidified rainbow, all the way up to the portal currently caged behind Queen Celestia's powerful shield. “I wonder if my counterpart has trouble doing that.”

Dash waved her off. “Ah, who cares?” She leapt up and punched and kicked the air. “Let's get going!”

AJ rolled her eyes at Dash. “Calm down, for Celestia's sake!” She turned to back Twilight. “If you're not feelin' up to this, we can go back –“

Twilight waved her off. “No, just give me a second.” Her eyes half-closed and her horn glowed. A low humming filled the air as Twilight waved her head back and forth. Her eyes snapped open and she jabbed a hoof out. “There! It's faint, but I found them. They're about four hundred seventy-three miles east of here.”

Dash's jaw dropped. “Wow! How do you know it that precisely?”

Twilight smirked and swung her left foreleg in front of her right. “Measuring how long it took to get the signals back. Basic math, really.” She waved her friends in close. “Okay, this is gonna take a while. I can only do short hops, and I'm gonna have to take a break between each one so I don't tire myself out before we get there.” Her head drooped. “Sorry, everypony.”

Flutters extended a wing and gently stroked Twilight's back. “Don't worry, Twilight. We all know you'll do your best!”

The others gathered around Twilight and cheered her on. Twilight grinned. “Thanks.” Her eyes narrowed and her mouth formed a thin line. “Now, let's go save ourselves from the humans, and the humans from themselves!”

Author's Note:

1. Thanks to Shubzilla for the proofreading.
2. Apologies for the wait. More's coming soon!
3. I am using elements from the IDW comic book continuity, but things did not get as bad in the Hasbroverse as it did there. And of course, contact with humanity is pretty much G1-animated.
4. Informational links:

Cybertron
Quintesson
Functionism
Iacon
Ultra Magnus
Kup
Impactor
Silverbolt
Emirate Xaaron
Elita One
Spike Witwicky
Starscream
Bulkhead
Whirl
Astrotrain
Soundwave
Constructicons
Shockwave
Blitzwing
Tyroxian
Combaticons
Shattered Glass Optimus Prime
Shattered Glass Hound
Sgattered Glass Grimlock

5. I am retconning what I said once about the Combaticons. They're prisoners of the Autobots, not dead. Might be the subject of another non-MLP story.