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milesprower06
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Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Winter Wrap Up
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned one of the most interesting things about Ponyville.
Winter only lasts one day.
Yep, you heard me right. I went to bed last night, not a flake of snow on the ground. Not even when I got up a little early to help with this annual event. But during those few hours of more sleep, BAM, white shit got everywhere. So every year after it snows, Ponyville has an annual event where they clear the snow that covers everything for one whole day. I think they call it global warming.
As you know, nothing gets a town in the mood for melting snow quite like a full length musical number. After that, we were all set to go. At first I wanted to help Rainbow gather up the birds that had flown south for one day. But I misplaced that stupid butterfly wings spell, so she had to leave without me. I went to ask Rarity if I could help making the returning birds some nests, because they totally can't do it themselves. Lazy fuckers. Spike said they could use it as an outhouse, which would be a huge improvement, since they shit on my doormat every morning.
After that, I tried skating with Pinkie. She hallucinated about being a twinkie, and then because Spike kept on messing me up, we ended up making a two pony one dragon snowman. Pinkie clearly had the lakes under control, so I went to be a second animal alarm clock for Fluttershy. Problem was, the bitch was waking up all the cute animals herself, and I was stuck with all the snakes, bats, and bees. We should have given that Filly the Exterminator show a call.
Because of those damn bees, I had to take a blood ritual bath. After that, I went over to Sweet Apple Acres, where they were clearing the snow. I envy the Everfree Forest, where the damn snow melts itself. I tried a come-to-life spell, but after my plow smacked my ass, I got distracted, and ended up causing an avalanche. That damn fax machine blamed me when the idea was his for using magic. For some reason, Rarity spent the whole damn day trying to fix my outhouse when she could have just thrown it out and continued slaving for those feathered fuckers.
As the whole town started arguing, I used a few big words to get them to shut up, and put them all to work. The nests got built, the fields plowed and seeded, the animals woken up, and Rainbow Dash's weather team got a tornado going and flung all the snow over to the next town, so it's Molestia's problem now.
Let's see that sexual deviant wrap winter up on time now.
Your organized former student,
Twilight Sparkle
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) but I have to agree with Zachvssparty, it was abit bland this chapter. 
so now all this comment does is radiate unhappiness... 
It was meh as some folks say, true. I feel some of it also had to do with lack of enthusiasm for the episode maybe? For instance, I was totally expecting some reference to Twilight enjoying everypony bowing before her whims, as it should be, when she took control. And then maybe a pot shot at Celestia about Twilight becoming the next ruler if she wasn't careful etc. "Your treasonous ruling class former student, Twilight Sparkle" 
I wonder how "Lesson Zero" is gonna go...
"Dear Princess Celestia,
Today, instead of using the magical hellfire that sends these letters to you, I had my fax machine burn that letter my "friends" sent to you with normal fire. Do you know why? BECAUSE NOPONY SENDS HATEMAIL TO YOU BUT ME!!!!!
This one may not have been as amusing as the others but it was still good.
I think the only reason I didn't like it as much was because of the wasted potential of the thing. Not to say that it wasn't great! It was, but I was seriously waiting for Twilight to start making fun of how they do everything without magic, saying something along the lines of "These stupid rednecks won't let me use magic, apparently it's 'taboo' or something. Probably just another one of your stupid troll rules." then I was waiting for her to start saying stuff much like Genjen said.
Either way though, this chapter was still great and I still look forward to the next one
I guess everyone has their opinion but I found this one hilarious! The one day winter and birds shitting on the doormat made me lol, and also, FiW is awesome! (I've been listening to Gypsy Bard on loop for like an hour now - It just won't let me go) Anywho, keep up the awesome work. uberSnarky/bitchy Twilight is a great spin on her regular show persona 
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