Afraid Of My Shadow

by Deyeaz

XVIII - Rejection (Praxis)

Afraid Of My Shadow

Written by CraimerX and ShadowWeaver

Proofreaded by the onlyoneofmeisyou

XVIII - Rejection (Praxis)

Never in my life have I felt a mind-boggling miasma tarnish me like this one.

I know not the knowledge of where my sudden plan might’ve gone awry, but... I do know just this:

What’s wrong with me?

I wasn’t losing my edge when I decided to fight Umbra so that Trixie and the others may escape: I knew that I was facing something that would rival even the ecclesiastic, almighty abilities of God. But... still... why did I have to go and say that to her? Trixie, I mean. I mean... really... I know that I’ve been developing this sort of... strange connection for her. Every time she would enter the same room as me, I felt whatever miasma of melancholy plaguing me just vanish. Every time she smiled, I felt my heart just... hammering against my ribcage, screaming and begging to burst out. Whenever she felt down, I would comfort her, trying not to stumble into the same depression as she.

I had to face it. I liked Trixie. Like... like like her.

Actually... that terminology is only for those who would talk about silly primary and secondary school crushes.

I... loved Trixie.

It was as simple as that. Any positive emotion or mood that I read from her made me feel so... euphoric and glorious. Anything negative had me... what’s the term? Oh, down in the dumps.

“But... how will I tell her?” I weakly whispered.

Would I simply go to her and ask her to be in a relationship? To settle down and love me back in the same way I love her? No... that’s reminiscent of Twilight, and... well, let’s just say that I want nothing to do with that atrocity.

But hang on... what if she declines? What if she simply tells me no, that she doesn’t want to accept me? What would I do then? I’d lose it!

Damn it... I need to make up my mind.... Tell her? Or keep it from her?

I hate making decisions. I felt like Pinkie Pie when she went to the Mirror Pool and cloned herself several times so that she could have all the fun in Equestria.

...What? You’re saying I wasn’t there? Bullcrap! I was there: she practically almost reawakened Discord from all the nonsensical pandemonium that she shat upon this poor town! Not to mention the tomfoolery she committed in my pagoda!

Oh, man... I couldn’t unsee what I saw back there.

...Ahem. Moving on.

I arose from the bed, my chest furiously burning as if someone had branded several thousand times over, like some sort of disgusting livestock. I rubbed my temples, trying to ease the qualming headache that’s terrorising my brain. I laid back on my bed, took a deep breath, and rose up once more, the second attempt at getting up being successful. I had to take it slow...

Take it slow.... and see what in the fuck is in the corner, because it was scaring the shit outta me.

“Hello, Praxis.” Aksheal’s tone bordered on both the sultry and the horrifying.

OH GOD, NO. I tried getting out of bed in a hurry, but no go: my legs wouldn’t move. BRAIN, GET ME THE HELL OUTTA HERE.

I CAN’T LET YOU DO THAT, STARFOX.

AND WHY THE BLOODY HELL NOT?!

ALMOST ALL SYSTEMS ARE DOWN, EL JEFE. CAN’T MOVE JACK SHIT. ANYTHING BELOW THE WAIST IS INCAPACITATED FOR A WHILE.

...So I’m like the satyr Joe Swanson?

Pretty much, yes.

....Damn it to hell!

“So how are you doin’?” Aksheal still had that creepy tone in his voice.

NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE-

“...Nope, I’m outta here.” I got out of the bed, and fell onto the carpet with a painful thump. “Ouch!”

“Yeah, good luck with that, asshole.” Aksheal leaned against the wall and stared right at me. “I had to stop your movement for a while. You were twisting and turning and it was pissing me off when I was trying to inspect that wound of yours.”

...I saw the look in his face. It was incomprehensibly difficult to read his myriad of emotions. So many, both positive and negative, I can’t read them... It’s like a book being chained and locked up. Like... a sort of impenetrable mask was slapped onto his face. It was so... plain.

“Thanks, Aksheal.” I struggled so hard to get my legs out of entropy again.

“Mmm, but you’re gonna hate me when I tell you what I learned about the wound.” He walked around the room a bit and then stared at me. “It appears to be a combination of an Essence Drain and a Silencing Spell... The punch was the thing that set it in your body. Some physical contact is needed, and this is why your spell failed. He hit you before in that fight, didn’t he?”

“Yeah, he did.” I wracked my brains together and thought of what Umbra could’ve done to cast both an Essence Drain and a Silencing Spell. “The punch to the chest was the Silencing Spell, and the slash marks were the Essence Drain?”

A nod from the god of Markarth. “The reason why your enchantment didn’t work is because of that Spell. How do I know of the Spell? I know all magic that goes through our worlds.”

“So you regulate the magic of both worlds.” Another nod. “So how long will this Essence Drain take effect?” I asked.

“About... nine months. Rather lucky of you, if ask me.”

“How so?”

“Because satyrs age half as quickly as humans: normal mortals would perish in no time at all. But the Essence Drain is ever-so-slowly coursing its way through you, weakening your magical and physical prowess. When nine months pass, the Essence Drain will be complete, and your magical and physical state will be that of a newborn foal.”

After all the hard work and exertion of getting me to stand to my hooves, I still fell to my knees. “Damn it...”

“Don’t worry: I've worked out a solution. Two, actually.”

I looked up, my eyes wide with hope. “Really?”

Aksheal nods once more. “Yes. One: get the person who casted the Drain on you to lift it.” I scoffed, and judging by the grin, the Markarth deity shared my thoughts on the likelihood of Umbra removing the Essence Drain from me. “Yes, I know: fat chance of that happening. But that’s where the second option comes in: if you cannot get the person who cursed you with the Essence Drain to remove it, you must kill him.”

“So... it’s more or less similar to fixing the cure for werewolves.”

Another nod. “But since it’s Umbra, you’re all screwed.”

“I know: I heard you slapping the shit out of Jace for losing his scythe to Umbra.”

“But you were unconscious! How did-” I pointed at my ears. “Oh, nevermind, then.”

“So... what now?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I guess I’ll return to Markarth.” Aksheal stopped with his insistent walking. “Once I’ve been able to figure out how to deal with Umbra properly, then I guess we’ll deal with him.. You’re welcome to come along, if you wish. Jason is in there already, training.”

I held up a hand and shook my head. “While I do appreciate the kindness of your gesture, I have something I must do first....” I slowly got up again, but the second time was much harder than prior. Aksheal, sensing my feebleness, helped me up on my hooves.

“I shall leave a small enchantment on the floor. Just step on it when you want to go into the Card.” He said, placing his hands gingerly on the floor. He left a red seal as he slowly pulled his hands away and let the heavy mist of the Card surround him, then it all was sucked back inside and he was gone.

I sighed, applying pressure on my legs to get blood flowing through them and the feeling in them to return. Once my legs are able to withstand my weight without too much of a complication, I made my way to the hallway and down the stairs, my hoofsteps slow and heavy, as if they were encased in cement blocks.

I entered the den, and saw Riku, Trixie, and Vinyl sitting by the fireplace, trying to keep warm: since the sun was blotted out by Umbra and his darkness, Equestria - nay, all of Equis itself - is unable to receive warmth and light from Celestia’s fiery cosmic sphere. “Baba!” my son cried as he galloped at me and hugged me. The sudden collision reawakened any pain in my body, forcing me to wince. Regardless, I return his embrace without hesitation. “Thank goodness you’re okay!”

“I could say the same for you guys,” I said, putting Riku down and sitting cross-legged on the thick carpet of Jace’s living room. “Did everyone make it out alright?”

“Physically... Yes..” Vinyl said softly as she slowly looked up, shaking from crying. “Mentally... Barely.” Trixie came over to comfort her, patting her on the back.

“Where’s Wubsy?” I asked, looking around the room for Jace’s and Vinyl’s son. “I haven’t seen him at all...”

“He’s with Octavia... In his room... She’s trying to get him to sleep. He doesn’t need to be subjected to this.” Vinyl sniffed and looked down again. It pained my heart to see her like this. She used to be uncaring, always looking for a good time and rambunctious. Now... Just as things got bad after this serious point in her life... She’s just like anyone else. Not a care-free DJ... But a loving wife and mother, like everypony else.

“I’m sorry,” I said, my head facing down. Be it out of pure genuine sorrow, or because I was that pathetic and impulsive to apologise for everything, I didn’t know. “For whatever I did - be it fighting Umbra when I wasn’t supposed to, or for getting any of you in trouble or angry - I really hope that you can forgive me.”

I sighed once more. That’s all I seemed to be doing lately, huh? Great Scott, I needed help. “What do you have to apologise for?” Vinyl asked of me.

“Eh?” I brought my head up.

“You heard me... What do you have to apologise for..? You did nothing wrong. you were just trying to save us. I should be mad at Jace but... I’m not. Because he gave a confession, and I can’t stay mad at him after that.”

“Hmph. That’s not what I heard.” Came Trixie’s voice, a hint of hatred in her tone. “He told me he didn’t care about poor Praxis! That he would be glad to have him out of his way!”

“He said that?! After everything we’ve been through?! BASTARD!”

Oh, crap. What was the saying for this? Ah: Shit has struck the fan... with the force of a speeding truck, I may add.

“Now, now, I’m sure he’s just joking!” I said nervously in his defence, raising my hands up. “He wouldn’t wish that upon anyone that didn’t deserve it, right?”

“No... He wasn’t serious about it.” Vinyl shot Trixie a dirty look. “Stop making my husband look bad... Witch...” She looked back at me, her eyes set. “He told me that he was mad that you actually were dumb enough to risk your life for us. He wouldn’t have gone on if you were dead. He was angry that you might’ve died, Praxis. That he would lose his only friend.”

“Actually, Missus Scratch... or is it Romero?” Riku began.

“...Hmm... I guess I could keep my last name. So yes, Missus Scratch, little buddy.” Vinyl looked at Riku with a smile.

“Okay. Missus Scratch, when Baba came home and passed out on the floor, Uncle Jace, he... he kicked Baba and told him to stop bleeding on his floor.”

Vinyl let out a low growl. “Seriously?” Trixie and Riku nodded. “Alright... I’m gonna have a talk with him when I see him. Where is he now, Praxis?”

I sighed, once again. Seriously, I ought to seek counseling to get rid of this sighing problem. I looked over at Trixie, and pondered what had mulled around in my mind earlier. “Say, Trixie... may I speak to you for a second?” My throat felt as if it was lined with sandpaper, my tongue swelling up like a balloon... and it wasn’t allergies. I was incredulously nervous. How was I to go about this?

“Er... sure.” Trixie vacated her seat and followed me. “What do you wanna talk about, anyways?” I returned upstairs, with an azure unicorn in tow. I returned to my temporary room, sat down on the bed and gestured for her to have a seat, which she obliged to.

“I wanted to tell you something... something rather important.” My brain was, once again, becoming a thick goo, thus rendering me unable to say anything right. “Well, i-it’s that... I... Well, the thing is - y-y’know....”

Crap... I wasn’t good with girls. What do?!

Damn it, Boss! Out with it!

I’m trying, I’m trying!

TRY HARDER!

“Well... the thing is-”

“You were wondering about what you said back at the palace, right?” Trixie leaned forward a little bit. Call it a trick of the light, but... do I see a very faint blush? “You know, before we left?”

“Y-Yeah... That. Well, I was wondering... would...” Once again, my tongue seized up, failing to get my words out. My brain, rather than being goo, just evaporated entirely, leaving me hollow-headed.

COME ON! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!

“It’s okay. I know what you want to say.” She looked up and met my eyes. “You’re very sweet, and that’s what’s so great about you. Especially since you risked your life for us.” She left her seat and walked over to me. “I can already tell, right off the bat, that you are the greatest friend I’ve ever had.” Is she-

Wait... no...

Snake? What’s wrong? Snake?! SNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

A friend, eh? That’s all?

Welcome to the Friend Zone, Boss. Population: you and so many other poor souls.

“Y-yeah!” I said nervously, scratching the back of my head. What... what am I saying?! No! “Sure!” No way in hell! “I-I’m glad that we can be friends.” No, I’m not! Why am I lying?!

“I’m glad that we can stay friends. I really am.” She gave me a light peck on the cheek and trotted off back to the living room, leaving me in solitude.

That’s when my mask of joy was removed, revealing the ugly face of sorrow that was hidden by it.

I didn’t sigh. I didn’t shout out in protest. I didn’t ball up on the ground and cry. I did... nothing. My heart felt like it was slowing down. My hearing was dulled, like a concussion grenade went off. My mind was just... blank. Empty... as if a vacuum was crammed into my head and used to suck up everything in proximity. I got up, ran and hand through my hair before going back to my room to go to Markarth. Hopefully it’ll be more fun there, then it will be here.

~End of Chapter XIV~

Comments

[the other sans]

I got up, ran and hand through my hair

1. Either it's A or My... no idea here yet

On acside note; The both of yous screw up relationships like... I dunno, John Travolta's nose?

[Deyeaz]

1911619
>John Travolta's nose
>nose
>John Travolta

That's a weird way to spell Michael Jackson, refferee

[lolz anonymous]

man... that sucks...

[Deyeaz]

1911869
Yeah, but I'm not gonna have Trixie actually ACCEPT Praxis's offer, especially since the world is covered in Darkness. Bad timing, mate. Just some bad timing.

[the other sans]

1911728
Yeah... I only noticed that after an hour... so now I can safely say that you (Praxis and/or Jace) can fail like me (commenting or anything in general really)

[Fireeaters]

Pwnd