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Mr Maximus

Joined October 2011
2,099 followers

Why do I write? Because I can't draw! I write mainly as an outlet, and don't take it too seriously. If you like what I write, awesome! If not, that's cool too.

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For a long time, I thought I was an oddity. One dragon living with a bunch of ponies, in a whole kingdom of ponies, no less. I was emasculated, a shadow of what I thought I was supposed to be. What I expected of myself, and what I thought was expected of me, drove me to follow the great dragon migration. I thought it would wake up my inner dragon, and finally allow me to realize what I'm meant to be in this world. But it didn't. All it showed me was that other members of my species only care about size, strength and brute force. I left there, glad that I had such good friends, but still just as lost as ever on the inside. That is, until she showed up.  

A crossover-ish type story involving a certain black lady dragon from a video game series.

A MLP Legend of Spyro crossover, though no knowledge of the games is needed to read the fic.

First Published
27th Jun 2012
Last Modified
2nd Apr 2013

Comments ( 157 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

This is gonna be so damn epic. Is there some romance between Spike and Cynder down the road?

#2 · Chapter 1 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

Cynder was always my favorite.

#3 · Chapter 1 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

Epic but I misread the title lol.

"Dragon Tales" oh boy....

#4 · Chapter 1 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·
#5 · Chapter 1 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

Sounds fantastic, will read when I get home.

#6 · Chapter 1 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

I will be reading this! Later :moustache:

#7 · Chapter 1 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

earned your self a fav gj keep up the awsome work

#8 · Chapter 1 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

>>821763 Why does the rolling spider say nope? :rainbowhuh:

#9 · Chapter 1 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

>>821917 My reaction was 'Oh god no roll away' but then it got better.

#10 · Chapter 1 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

Very nice start. I assume that the other purple dragon mentioned is Spyro? The only thing I know about the games is the name.

#11 · Chapter 1 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

Language is a bit strong at the end (I wondered what the Teen rating was for!); but it's sort of true of the other dragons in MLP!

#12 · Chapter 1 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

>>821740 Mehhhhhhbeh. But Spike is still young, so if there was any, It'd be of the schoolyard variety.

>>822090 Yes, that'd be him. He's not in this, though.

#13 · Chapter 1 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

>>822914 So nothing more than some flirting or a crush?

#14 · Chapter 1 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

So wait, this isn't related to a certain PBS kids program that shares the same title?

...

Okay.

*Adds to read later.*

#15 · Chapter 1 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

This im going to read!! Cant wait for the next chapter!! :pinkiehappy:

#16 · Chapter 1 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

well he sure as well isn't THAT purple dragon... but i smell foreshadowing... XD

#17 · Chapter 1 · 113w, 5d ago · · ·

I sense spike breathing elements in the future, all he needs is crystals. thats how spyro got it right? im  a little rusty on my spyro lore. haven't played it in a while

#18 · Chapter 2 · 113w, 4d ago · · 1 ·

Hmm seems like Rarity does have something for Spike. I smell a love triangle. :pinkiehappy:

#19 · Chapter 1 · 113w, 4d ago · · ·

>>823857 nor have I. I used to love those games

#20 · Chapter 2 · 113w, 4d ago · · ·

Oh Rarity... :facehoof:

I'm guessing that the purple fire is something else from her game backstory. Why would it be suspicious if Spike's usual green fire isn't?

#21 · Chapter 2 · 113w, 4d ago · · ·

Oh I already love the story already, you're doing a wonderful job.

Can't wait for more :pinkiehappy:

#22 · Chapter 2 · 113w, 4d ago · · ·

this keeps getting better and better! cmon chapter 3!!! lol

#23 · Chapter 2 · 113w, 4d ago · · ·

has cynder been crossing universes?

#24 · Chapter 2 · 113w, 4d ago · · ·

>>825916 indeed she has, my fellow southern gentleman.

#25 · Chapter 2 · 113w, 4d ago · · 1 ·

rarity shall go forth and find spike out of sheer willpower and jealousy.

#26 · Chapter 1 · 113w, 4d ago · · ·

What a coincidence. I busted out my PS2 and started playing my old games, Spyro among them.

  -Delta-

#27 · Chapter 2 · 113w, 4d ago · · ·

>>826764 well played, sir.:moustache:

#28 · Chapter 2 · 112w, 3d ago · · ·

Does convexity actually burn things?

This is certainly interesting, just hope it isn't Spike X Cynder. To much of a diehard Spyder fan for that XD

But it's your choice.

Please update when you can.

#29 · Chapter 3 · 111w, 6d ago · · ·

definantly  reading this.

#31 · Chapter 2 · 111w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

"Apple Jack Is the Fastest Mare I Know. And I'm Not Talking About Running"

:applejackconfused::applejackunsure: What the Was all That About Rainbow Dash????

:rainbowlaugh: Here Strikes Trolling Dash!

#32 · Chapter 3 · 111w, 6d ago · · ·

Good read, keep it up

#33 · Chapter 3 · 111w, 6d ago · · ·

I knew I tracked this for a reason!

    -Delta-

#34 · Chapter 3 · 111w, 5d ago · · ·
#35 · Chapter 3 · 111w, 5d ago · · ·

Damn, when Cyder actually said the name Spyro I nostalgia'd all over

myself. I haven't played any of the new games but the original Spyro

was one of the earliest game I remember playing and not being afraid to die.

Thanks for the update man it made my night.

#36 · Chapter 3 · 111w, 4d ago · · ·

I've been waiting for a long time for a Spyro crossover! Totally gotta read this now. :D

#37 · Chapter 2 · 111w, 4d ago · · ·

>spyro

OH

GOD

NO.

#38 · Chapter 3 · 111w, 4d ago · · ·

I was thinking this was somehow a crossover with the old kids show Dragon Tales...That for some reason I would like to see...but alas, tis a Spyro crossover...and because I have never played the games I have no interest...but now I really want an actual Dragon Tales crossover...So I will thank you for sparking that bit of interest...

#39 · Chapter 3 · 111w, 4d ago · · ·

>>904832 Yeah, literally EVERYONE commenting on EQD thinks it is a crossover with the old TV show.

#40 · Chapter 3 · 111w, 4d ago · · ·

Not bad. Your style is decent but you've got some pretty basic punctuation problems.

For your dialogue, when using a speech verb that's attatched to it you're supposed to use a comma, not a period. Stranger still is that you don't capitalize the speech verb, which is correct, but still use the period. Use this for more info: http://www.writing-world.com/fiction/dialogue.shtml

Next, commas should not preceed "and" unless it's an Oxford comma. This rule is relaxed in dialogue, mind you, but it shouldn't be present in exposition. This rule is due to "and" being a connector designed to replace a comma entirely. The same applies to "but" or any other coordinating conjunction (hereon referred to as a "connector" for simplicity's sake).

You may notice I've put a comma before a couple of my "buts" here, but that's because they're seperating an additional thought. Examine this sentence for why this exception exists:

>This rule is relaxed in dialogue, mind you, but it shouldn't be present in exposition.

As you can see, there's a comma before my "but". However, this is due to the "mind you" not being a necessary part of the sentence. If I were to remove it, I'd be left with:

>This rule is relaxed in dialogue but it shouldn't be present in exposition.

The sentence retains its topic and isn't impacted in any meaningful way by removing "mind you". That addition was only for flavour. Granted, I could write it as:

>This rule is relaxed in dialogue but, mind you, it shouldn't be present in exposition.

and technically achieve the same effect while avoiding the comma-before-a-connector issue, except it loses natural flow in the exchange. This is an example of where not following the rules to the letter is better. Remember: If you know how the rule works, you're allowed to break it as long as it improves the story in some way.

Apologies if that was unduly confusing.

#41 · Chapter 3 · 111w, 4d ago · · ·

>>904975 Firstly, I recognize your name from Ponychan, so I know you aren't just some guy spouting nonsense. Also, I haven't had any clarification for the longest time over the comma/period in ending dialogue thing, and simply wasn't sure how to phrase what I wanted to ask in any threads. The link is greatly appreciated. Grammar was arguably my worst literary subject in school, so I suspect I'll be behind a bit of a learning curve in comparison to other authors submitting their work to EqD (which is what I'm sure has brought you here).

Secondly, I want to thank you for taking the time to point these things out to help me improve as a writer, which is something I'm always striving to do. I enjoy praise as much as the next reckless egocentric hedonist, mind you, :twilightsheepish: but constructive criticism is something I rarely get, and I try to convey my gratitude to those who take the time.

So thanks again!

#42 · Chapter 3 · 111w, 4d ago · · ·

>>904863 I said it there as well...but now I'm thinking of a bunch of old TV shows...The Nostalgia is palpable...so again...I thank you anyways...

#43 · Chapter 3 · 111w, 4d ago · · ·

Oh god I remember that show. Thanks PBS, for all the torturous moments that show put me through.

Hold on, didn't all the color get sucked out of the land in one episode of Dragon Tales, and an episode of MLP? *GASP*

#44 · Chapter 3 · 111w, 4d ago · · ·

The title led me to believe that this was a crossover with the PBS cartoon Dragon Tales.

I am disappoint.

#45 · Chapter 3 · 111w, 4d ago · · ·

interesting... I shall watch this...

#46 · Chapter 3 · 111w, 4d ago · · ·

>>905033

My pleasure. The story is interesting and I think I might give it a watch. I'll hold off on that "Like" key until I see where you're going with this; I felt a twinge of weakness with your villain, especially in regards to how you introduced him (IE a giant infodump that reveals everything about him in a paragraph of mind-numbing tedium instead of letting his actions and words speak for him as the story progresses). It's like you decided developing in a similar way to Cynder was too much work, threw your hands into the air and said "Fuck it, have ALL the exposition!" If it's not too late, I'd suggest stripping that down and working his monetary-based allegiances into the plot more organically.

Yes, constructive criticism is in short supply on most websites. We at /fic/ pride ourselves (or at least, I do) on being soulles reviewing demons that poke you with pitchforks composed of grammar and mechanic rules.

It's an easy fix, it just takes a little memorization. Drop by /fic/ at some point with this (better now than before it gets Too Big To Edit) and you 'ought to be able to find a reviewer to help you with it.

JUST MAKE SURE TO READ THE STICKY FIRST.

Otherwise, I might have to eviscerate you ^_^.

#47 · Chapter 3 · 111w, 4d ago · · ·

>>905281 You're correct, the offending exposition has been expelled. I'll gradually introduce his reasons in later chapters, leaving him a bit of mystery for anyone still to be brought over from the EqD post.

#48 · Chapter 3 · 111w, 4d ago · · ·

>>905310

Most agreeable.

And again, drop by /fic/, that way you can get some help catching those sorts of scenes before posting. "Ten minutes of reading the rules could save you fifty hours or more of wasted effort."

/lame reference

#49 · Chapter 1 · 111w, 4d ago · · ·

>>821757 hahaha that's what I thought too XD  Someone should make that crossover.  I remember that show being pretty good.  For PBS.

#50 · Chapter 3 · 111w, 4d ago · · ·

I'm not really a big Spyro fan, but this is actually pretty good.

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