This is gonna be so damn epic. Is there some romance between Spike and Cynder down the road?

Cynder was always my favorite.

Epic but I misread the title lol.

"Dragon Tales" oh boy....

Before reading:

Image: http://chzanimalgifs.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/funny-animal-gifs-nope.gif

After reading:

Awesome fic is awesome.

Sounds fantastic, will read when I get home.

I will be reading this! Later

earned your self a fav gj keep up the awsome work

>>821763821763 Why does the rolling spider say nope?

>>821917821917 My reaction was 'Oh god no roll away' but then it got better.

Very nice start. I assume that the other purple dragon mentioned is Spyro? The only thing I know about the games is the name.

Language is a bit strong at the end (I wondered what the Teen rating was for!); but it's sort of true of the other dragons in MLP!

>>821740821740 Mehhhhhhbeh. But Spike is still young, so if there was any, It'd be of the schoolyard variety.

>>822090822090 Yes, that'd be him. He's not in this, though.

>>822914822914 So nothing more than some flirting or a crush?

So wait, this isn't related to a certain PBS kids program that shares the same title?

...

Okay.

*Adds to read later.*

This im going to read!! Cant wait for the next chapter!!

well he sure as well isn't THAT purple dragon... but i smell foreshadowing... XD

I sense spike breathing elements in the future, all he needs is crystals. thats how spyro got it right? im  a little rusty on my spyro lore. haven't played it in a while

Hmm seems like Rarity does have something for Spike. I smell a love triangle.

>>823857823857 nor have I. I used to love those games

Oh Rarity...

I'm guessing that the purple fire is something else from her game backstory. Why would it be suspicious if Spike's usual green fire isn't?

Oh I already love the story already, you're doing a wonderful job.

Can't wait for more

this keeps getting better and better! cmon chapter 3!!! lol

has cynder been crossing universes?

>>825916825916 indeed she has, my fellow southern gentleman.

rarity shall go forth and find spike out of sheer willpower and jealousy.

What a coincidence. I busted out my PS2 and started playing my old games, Spyro among them.

  -Delta-

>>826764826764 well played, sir.

Does convexity actually burn things?

This is certainly interesting, just hope it isn't Spike X Cynder. To much of a diehard Spyder fan for that XD

But it's your choice.

Please update when you can.

definantly  reading this.

So Spike eat this

Image: http://www.spyropedia.com/images/thumb/7/7c/Redgem2.png/150px-Redgem2.png

and you end up like this

Image: http://gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs/58760_o.gif

"Apple Jack Is the Fastest Mare I Know. And I'm Not Talking About Running"

What the Was all That About Rainbow Dash????

Here Strikes Trolling Dash!

Good read, keep it up

I knew I tracked this for a reason!

    -Delta-

>>892336892336 XD lol

Damn, when Cyder actually said the name Spyro I nostalgia'd all over

myself. I haven't played any of the new games but the original Spyro

was one of the earliest game I remember playing and not being afraid to die.

Thanks for the update man it made my night.

I've been waiting for a long time for a Spyro crossover! Totally gotta read this now. :D

>spyro

OH

GOD

NO.

I was thinking this was somehow a crossover with the old kids show Dragon Tales...That for some reason I would like to see...but alas, tis a Spyro crossover...and because I have never played the games I have no interest...but now I really want an actual Dragon Tales crossover...So I will thank you for sparking that bit of interest...

>>904832904832 Yeah, literally EVERYONE commenting on EQD thinks it is a crossover with the old TV show.

Not bad. Your style is decent but you've got some pretty basic punctuation problems.

For your dialogue, when using a speech verb that's attatched to it you're supposed to use a comma, not a period. Stranger still is that you don't capitalize the speech verb, which is correct, but still use the period. Use this for more info: http://www.writing-world.com/fiction/dialogue.shtml

Next, commas should not preceed "and" unless it's an Oxford comma. This rule is relaxed in dialogue, mind you, but it shouldn't be present in exposition. This rule is due to "and" being a connector designed to replace a comma entirely. The same applies to "but" or any other coordinating conjunction (hereon referred to as a "connector" for simplicity's sake).

You may notice I've put a comma before a couple of my "buts" here, but that's because they're seperating an additional thought. Examine this sentence for why this exception exists:

>This rule is relaxed in dialogue, mind you, but it shouldn't be present in exposition.

As you can see, there's a comma before my "but". However, this is due to the "mind you" not being a necessary part of the sentence. If I were to remove it, I'd be left with:

>This rule is relaxed in dialogue but it shouldn't be present in exposition.

The sentence retains its topic and isn't impacted in any meaningful way by removing "mind you". That addition was only for flavour. Granted, I could write it as:

>This rule is relaxed in dialogue but, mind you, it shouldn't be present in exposition.

and technically achieve the same effect while avoiding the comma-before-a-connector issue, except it loses natural flow in the exchange. This is an example of where not following the rules to the letter is better. Remember: If you know how the rule works, you're allowed to break it as long as it improves the story in some way.

Apologies if that was unduly confusing.

>>904975904975 Firstly, I recognize your name from Ponychan, so I know you aren't just some guy spouting nonsense. Also, I haven't had any clarification for the longest time over the comma/period in ending dialogue thing, and simply wasn't sure how to phrase what I wanted to ask in any threads. The link is greatly appreciated. Grammar was arguably my worst literary subject in school, so I suspect I'll be behind a bit of a learning curve in comparison to other authors submitting their work to EqD (which is what I'm sure has brought you here).

Secondly, I want to thank you for taking the time to point these things out to help me improve as a writer, which is something I'm always striving to do. I enjoy praise as much as the next reckless egocentric hedonist, mind you, but constructive criticism is something I rarely get, and I try to convey my gratitude to those who take the time.

So thanks again!

>>904863904863 I said it there as well...but now I'm thinking of a bunch of old TV shows...The Nostalgia is palpable...so again...I thank you anyways...

Oh god I remember that show. Thanks PBS, for all the torturous moments that show put me through.

Hold on, didn't all the color get sucked out of the land in one episode of Dragon Tales, and an episode of MLP? *GASP*

The title led me to believe that this was a crossover with the PBS cartoon Dragon Tales.

I am disappoint.

interesting... I shall watch this...

>>905033905033

My pleasure. The story is interesting and I think I might give it a watch. I'll hold off on that "Like" key until I see where you're going with this; I felt a twinge of weakness with your villain, especially in regards to how you introduced him (IE a giant infodump that reveals everything about him in a paragraph of mind-numbing tedium instead of letting his actions and words speak for him as the story progresses). It's like you decided developing in a similar way to Cynder was too much work, threw your hands into the air and said "Fuck it, have ALL the exposition!" If it's not too late, I'd suggest stripping that down and working his monetary-based allegiances into the plot more organically.

Yes, constructive criticism is in short supply on most websites. We at /fic/ pride ourselves (or at least, I do) on being soulles reviewing demons that poke you with pitchforks composed of grammar and mechanic rules.

It's an easy fix, it just takes a little memorization. Drop by /fic/ at some point with this (better now than before it gets Too Big To Edit) and you 'ought to be able to find a reviewer to help you with it.

JUST MAKE SURE TO READ THE STICKY FIRST.

Otherwise, I might have to eviscerate you ^_^.

>>905281905281 You're correct, the offending exposition has been expelled. I'll gradually introduce his reasons in later chapters, leaving him a bit of mystery for anyone still to be brought over from the EqD post.

>>905310905310

Most agreeable.

And again, drop by /fic/, that way you can get some help catching those sorts of scenes before posting. "Ten minutes of reading the rules could save you fifty hours or more of wasted effort."

/lame reference

>>821757821757 hahaha that's what I thought too XD  Someone should make that crossover.  I remember that show being pretty good.  For PBS.

I'm not really a big Spyro fan, but this is actually pretty good.

Never played Spyro, but I love anything dragon-related so I'm enjoying this immensely.

Fun Fact: Ponies are very capable of eating meat. It's actually easier to digest meat than plant material, so herbivores don't have a problem with eating it if it is convenient. Also, even in canon material ponies eat eggs.

>>904975904975

Ugh. Grammer Nazis.

I am also one of many, who thought it was that old kids show

someone should totally write that though

> subdue her." he explained

Whoops.

Also:

> Twilight had to have been getting be tired of my outbursts by now.

Might work as

> Twilight must have been tired of my outbursts by now.

Need an editor? I haven't played the games but that shouldn't hamper my professional grammar nazi skills :twicrazy:

wait wait wait hold on a second... Cynder ala' post DotD, Spyro around someplace, and Spike? Are you deliberately painting a love triangle on the wall or is it just me?

Also, Interesting use of Malefore/The Destroyer as the returning villain, implying Spike has some less-than-usual powers... (aside from his magic breath and ability to walk in bipedal fashion) and I can just picture the look on everyone's faces when Cynder used her Shadow Element... this does beg the question as to how Avalar and Equestria are related (Avalar was disassembled and put back together not long ago, but that obviously wasn't noticed in Equestria...) and the question of what the relationship between Equestrian Dragons and Avalarian Dragons is. They can both talk at least, but Equestrian dragons haven't demonstrated much in terms of alternate-breath powers.

I'll just have to read more I suppose...

So far so interesting... wonder if Spike turns out to have a different power than "fire," what with his heavily magical attributes... he even has the same color spines as those emeralds!

This is indeed very interesting... and I pity those Griffons, what with Cynder using that attack on them. I presume that was poison?

So Spyro is suffering an infection of Darkness, and approaching Malefore's level of eeeevil... but why can't he swat it down like he's done before? Heck, he managed to suppress Cynder's darkside before!

And now I just pictured Spike with Dark attributes. That's not cool. Wonder if he has Dragonfury...

>>907030907030 Cynder used fear on the Bumpkins! It's super effective!

Spyro is cursed, which is different than the darkness trying to control him. The curse put on him just makes him crazy, and unable to defend against anything that would attack the dragon temple or Warfang. but that'll be explained later on, as right now they managed to freeze him in time until cynder gets that crystal.

And yes, there is more to Spike's abilities than I'm letting on in these early chapters, but Cynder's crystals are the key to him discovering what they are.

Oh I just love this and faving after I finish the completed chapters

Maybe it's because I'm more of an old-school Spyro fan (Elora for the win), but this didn't really do it for me personally.

For some strange reason, I kept thinking about Barney when reading this.

don't tell rarity but her mane is green with envy

now to the epic quest to save spyro.

I just love this story

>>906695906695

Ugh, an uninformed, uneducated, unrefined plebeian who most likely considers Twilight to be the pinnacle of English prose.

I'm not even close to being a proper Grammar Nazi, merely a loud and outspoken person who places a little extra emphasis on knowing how to piece together more than two sentences together.

You know, I still think that this conversation:

You've got something those dreadfully fierce dragons could only dream of.

What's that?

Your cutest widdle chubby cheeks.

Should have that last line replaced with:

Us, your friends!

You know, when I first saw this on EqD, I thought it was a crossover of this,

Image: http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/dragon_tales_7088.jpeg

but I think the Spyro crossover has so much more potential.

>>914881914881 you and everyone else!

This is awesome

I love it.

Red gems: Health

Green Gems: Energy (Mana)

Blue Gems: Spiritual

Purple Gems: Fury

From the (actual) games, back when Spyro was awesome.

Games such as:

The Legend of Spyro: New beginning

The Legend of Spyro Eternal night

The Legend of Spyro Dawn of the Dragon

Poor Spike needs to stop crushing on off-limits girls.  Cynder isn't exactly available.  

"Please let her stay with us! This may be my only chance to talk to a dragon that isn't a total dick head!"

"Spike! Watch your language!" she snapped. Rainbow Dash taught me that one.

I love you for this. XD

I know this is a crossover and Cynder might not be your own character, but she reeks of a mary sue dude.

Ms. Sweetness, incredibly powerful, has "dark/goth/ shadow-y" magic, is beautiful, and is colored black. The poor girl's got no real flaws!

>>943132943132 She isn't my character, she's from the Legend of Spyro game series. I'm not gonna argue that point, her whole character is very Mary Sue, but I didn't write her that way, the creators of the video game did. I'm just trying to stay true to their canon, while using her in a pony setting.

Lamb! Oh god, the reference. It brings back so many fond memories of a childhood spent flaming herds of sheep in Artisans.

>>821917821917

I actually saw those spiders on a documentary - they roll down sand mounds to escape predatation by scorpions. That's why I saw it as "meal denied".

Spike, Y U forget that everything in Changeling Territory is a trap?

He He He He, Dumb Dumb Dumb. There called CHANGElings for a reason spike. And Gullible Little Pony's so trusting, Twilight probably wouldn't of believed him so quickly If Spike wasn't involved.

>>962272962272 Nope.avi as well I think... Just for more confusion.

I've never really paid attention to spike but after reading this my first thought it

's a PLAYA!

I imagined that the spongy material they were walking on was like Zerg creep. Were you inspired by that?

>>821763821763 That gif is the best thing I've ever seen.

MLP and Cynder from Spyro, eh? Huh. Intriguing...may partake in this, may not. I'll stick it on my Read Later list.

Spike realized how amazing meat tastes.Good for him.

I'm super glad I decided to read the prologue, cause I can feel some epicness coming at me.

Spike needs to try bacon. ....Hmm...thats not a bad idea for a fic actually...i might write that

I thought this was going to be a Dragon Tales crossover. I'm disappointed.

Image: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_1DxCOIeOicI/TGDhoOvdZZI/AAAAAAAAAXg/z-kz4BggkE8/s400/z209831396_large.jpg

I love Rarity's jealousy in this story. I keep expecting her at the end to take Spike and make sure Cynder doesn't try anything with him. Oh and

Image: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/001/384/Atrapitis.gif

>>963077963077 Y U NO READ DESCRIPTION?

>>962679962679

I was thinking the same thing.

>>962679962679 I've unfortunately never played whatever game that's from (starcraft?), so I can't say I was.

>>963327963327

The description was all I read. I was misled by the title.

is Blackfang an oc

Huh, so are they really just going to believe whatever this Blackfang says based on nothing more than his word? Hopefully once Twilight calms down she will start thinking skeptically.

>>963607963607Yeah, if you saw the post on EQD, then the part about it being a spyro crossover isn't mentioned. Also the title is too I suppose. I chose that title for the play on nostalgia, not thinking most would assume it's a dragon tales crossover.

>>963676963676 yeah i just remembered the apes from the games had names like that, so I just came up with one at random.

>>964278964278 when someone is telling you what you want to hear, you'd be surprised what you'll believe.

awesome

Wonderful story so far, as expected

>>964278964278

Hey, even I almost believed it.

twi. i am dissapoint

spike and cynder this is for you, please follow the instruction

Image: http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-ash2/50289_322824853696_4664045_n.jpg

when will the next chapter be coming out? I NEED MORE!!!!!!!

o:  wooow great fic !! i really  like it :DD