O rly

yay

This has D'aww, that good kind. And I know my D'aww.

>>701509701509

It was a pretty long story, and I just posted the blog about it :/

>>701513701513

heh

>>701815701815

thanks

>>701869701869

nah I'm jking, but it's a pretty good story

>>701874701874

Thanks

You use language in a very eloquent way when describing something. It's really refreshing and it really adds greatly to the story. Seriously, your use of language in parts seems very fluffy and light, like a cloud, so the impact is just that much better.

One error, you have a double paragraph. The one that starts "This time, it looked like all Fluffykins would need was a little resuscitation." Not that big a deal, just thought I would point it out FYI.

I really thing you nailed this one. Great job!

>>702049702049

:/

Thanks for pointing out something I missed. Google docs wasn't importing correctly

>>702062702062 I hear ya. As much as I love Google docs, it does cause quite the headache. Especially if you have a spotty connection to the internet.

I really liked this, you hit the nail on the head with this romance.

I was a little confused about the diabeetus, but overall, this is really good!

This...wow...I don't....how...dang. You've gone and left me speechless.

So I don't think I've ever really read ANY romance fics before...and now, I think that all the ones I'll read in the future will pale in comparison to this. What you wrote there, absolutely beautiful! All the little details, the eloquent descriptions...I really hate to use a meme and ruin this comment but I swear, your writing skills are WAY over 9000.

That was just...wow. Write more!

>>702256702256

random ref to hngg

>>702260702260

okay

HHHNNNGGGHHH. I loved this.

>>702736702736

Thanks

I love this story.  Its very well written and really descriptive.

The only thing that bothered me was that the edited song doesn't match the orriginals tempo, but other than that it was perfect.

>>704348704348

It does, but not in the same way

Great story, but I think it had an abrupt ending. Wish you could've proofread it a bit more carefully (maybe thats just OCD me) but the storyline was great

>>705324705324

:/

No actual editors lol

and the ending

well...

that's that

HHNNNGGG!! This was a lovely romance!

I just have one question. When you put in "So he flew down to Ponyville in the early hours and found a couple of his unicorn friends, which he had made later in his life, to do some enchanting for him."  do you mean unicorn friends he made earlier in his life, or unicorns he asked favors of and became friends with later on?

>>705358705358

:/

ambiguity ftw

I dunno how to fix it right now though,

the first one

Fluffykins and Fluttershy, sittin' on a cloud!

K-I-S-...        I have no idea where I was going with that.

You have successfully piqued my interest. I enjoyed this story.

>>705442705442

Thanks

D'a-- HHNNNNGGGHHHHH!

>>707931707931

:3

Great job, I really liked it!

>>708253708253

Lethanks

You didn't disapoint.

This fic is pretty damn good.

>>711048711048

thanks

Very good, you're definitely coming along as an author! Your style still feels a bit rough and awkward, but much better than some of your previous work.

>>711419711419

Thanks

My reaction:

Image: http://ponilauta.fi/int/src/13354335712911.jpg

I think that your pacing was a bit too fast however. I mean, it went REALLY freaking fast. Though it was short and sweet.

You did good bro, you did good.

-Glassed

>>717198717198

Yeah, I need to work on romance.

Sad is by far my better genre

>>717266717266 Yeah, romance can be hard to write. Especially if it have to be completely clean and sweet like this.

-Glassed

>>717280717280

:/

Also I don't have as much experience

HHHNNNGGGHHH!

That is all. Great story.

>>749647749647

:/

Romance is hard for me

I'll try to improve

>>749650749650

If this was difficult to write, I'd LOVE to see what's easy.

>>749687749687

Sad is easy for me to write.

I will direct you to Happy Birthday to You

It took me a little while but I eventually realised you changed the lyrics for Fireflies song, when I noticed, I couldn't help but search the song in my computer and play it as I sang! It was awesome!

Well about the story:

It's kinda funny, it seems like sometimes vapor is shyer the Fluttershy herself, but with some unfriendly touches. Poor guy he always kept falling off clouds.

Good use of Fluttershy's Stare, poor Vapor wasn't expecting that, I felt really sorry about him there.

I don't quite get about Vapor's diabeetus, is it physical or metaphorical? It gets him when she is around and confuses me a bit (with all the comparisons you did about Fluttershy's honey voice).

Well anyway, awesome fic, straight to my favourites!

>>891159891159

lol diabeetus

it was a bit of a meta crack

>>891247891247

Two more questions:

1) Meta stands for "metaphorical"?

2) Crack stands for what?

>>891284891284

meta as in meta

and crack as in a joke, satirical in nature

>>891488891488

I don't get "meta"; I hear that a lot lately, but I don't get it...

>>893734893734

look up metagame