The Story of My Life

by Mindblower

Ditsica meets Dusty

Part V

Everfree County Dungeon was built long before Luna became Nightmare Moon--thusly, it was incredibly old-fashioned, old-looking, and, in some areas, just plain old. The very fact that it was still standing baffled scientists still today, though a common explanation was that, since the Dungeon was to the north of the county, it was spared all of the magical disasters that seemed to be sucked down to a forest south of Ponyville.

It wasn’t even designed to be a dungeon. Originally, it was a castle; a circular wall and four stone keeps, with a courtyard in the middle. When Luna left, though, crime began to rise, and the need for prisons became more so than the need for decrepit old ruins. So, it was renovated and redesigned--a painstaking process, but a successful one, and since it has towered over the hills as Equestria’s oldest standing institute of law.

As I descended to the entrance of this ancient establishment, I saw very bored-looking pegasi adjusting the cloud cover to keep it at very precise levels--not cloudy enough for life-giving rain, but just enough cloud to keep any life-giving sunlight from reaching the rather dank and gloomy landscape below.

Each of the keeps were four stories high above the surface, though according to typical dungeon construction they extended a floor or two beneath the ground--close enough so that, when it did rain, moisture was sure to seep in through the ceiling and dampen any ne'er-do-wells resting below. The residences in the keeps were reserved for the staff, and the courtyard served as a, well, prison courtyard.

I glided down to the ground and skidded to a stop, with Derpy landing daintily beside me. “How’re we gonna get in?” she asked, concerned as she looked up at the two-story iron gate in front of us.

“Simple. We ask,” I said, pulling my spectacles out of the Winterwort pouch and clearing my vision. Glancing to my left, I saw that a hole had been fashioned out of the stone wall--a brownish-gray earth pony clerk sat in the window, chewing on an eraser tip and looking like he was about to fall asleep. I walked up to him and asked, “Excuse me, but my friend and I would-”

“HUH?” He snapped awake, falling backward in his chair. I heard papers flutter about and a lot of scuffling, and then a crack.

The gate shuddered, groaned, and then slowly rose as the ropes towed it upward. Derpy glanced at me, and I shrugged.

“Perhaps it was simpler than I thought,” I said, walking under the gate and motioning for Derpy to do the same.

We emerged into the courtyard, but fortunately for us a large chain-link fence separated us from the sparse amount of criminals present. Arrows on the ground pointed to the left, and that combined with the fact that the pathway right was blocked, I decided it smartest to go left. Derpy put me in-between her and the criminals, her tail dragging on the ground as she followed rather close to my side.

“What’s the matter?” I hissed quietly. I’d no clue where I was going, but the path along the link fence was linear so there weren’t many opportunities to get lost. I absently noticed that there were no pegasi in the courtyard, and all of the unicorns had odd-looking casts around their horns, likely an antimagic device.

“Bad ponies live here. Bad ponies do bad things. If they don’t see me, they’ll go after you first,” Derpy reasoned, keeping her head down.

I snorted. “How remarkably brave of you.” I noted, though, that the criminals were eyeing me, rather than her, as their next lunch scraps. There were predominantly stallions in the yard, as well, though a mare or two cast their steely gaze in my direction, and I responded in kind.

“You’d do the same for me,” she said quietly.

My ear twitched with annoyance at her remark, but I let it pass. We were coming up to what was probably the dungeon lobby, though it obviously wasn’t designed for visitors. Then something occurred to me: Where were the guards?

And for that matter, where were the criminals? I saw no more than a dozen ponies standing in the courtyard, and the only guard in sight was a slightly tubby stallion in a tight-fitting uniform all the way on the other side of the castle. After a few more paces, there was a slightly more operable wooden doorway into the castle walls. I pushed my way inside with Derpy following close behind me.

The inside of walls were very regal-looking--an old red carpet led along the ground, with several suits of armor guarding the hallways. Tapestries hung from the four-meter ceiling, and in front of us I saw what looked suspiciously like a reception center that had been carved out of the wall. A lone unicorn sat at the desk, absently playing with dice.

“Oh!” she exclaimed upon seeing us. “Have you been waiting long?” She was petite, with a light brown coat, freckles, and orange glasses. Probably an intern. She fussed with the mess on her desk. “Sorry about this, we don’t get many visitors. So what brings you to Equestria’s finest prison?”

I swore silently. I had focused so much attention on the oddities of the jail that I neglected to think through exactly why I was here, and the only explanation I had on hoof would lead to my own incarceration. So, I stood there, like an idiot, my mind pulling an utter blank. You could hear a pin drop.

The mare coughed. “I-Is something wrong, miss...?”

“Her name’s Ditsica. Mine’s Derpy,” Derpy said, pushing me aside and stepping in front of me. She was shaking slightly, probably not used to being the center of attention. “A-An’ we’re here to see Pencil Tip.”

“Okay then, let me check the ‘ol records here. Name’s Dust Bunny, but you can call me Ms. Dusty,” she said, checking the files behind her. “Pencil Tip, gotcha. He’s in Basement Two, one of our only prisoners down there. You’re in luck, visitor’s hours end in about an hour.”

“What time is it now?” I asked.

“Oh, um, a little before sixish, I think,” Dusty said. “Be back in a sec.” She disappeared from behind the counter and pushed through a door next to the station, locking it behind her and putting the keys back in her sweater pocket. Motioning to the right, she said, “If you’ll follow me.”

As I tried to keep up with Dusty’s rather brisk pace, I noticed two presences in my mind. One was that of the ever-present migraine that kept popping up at the worst times to ruin my day, and it was already beginning to tear down my thought process with its icy talons. The second, however, was that of... him. He was close, I could feel it, and I could feel his influence swaying my steps and pulling me toward him. I wonder if Derpy felt it, too.

“You know, it’s gotten pretty lonely around here lately, y’know?” Dusty asked after a moment or two without conversation. “I mean, they’ve been taking all the guards and sending ‘em away to different prisons.”

“Oh? And why is that?” I asked, stumbling slightly over my own hooves. Not now, I begged silently. Anytime but now. Derpy seemed to notice, and while the mare wasn’t looking, she allowed me to lean on her, a gesture I was too disoriented to refuse.

“Well ever since Luna returned to guard the night there’s been a lot less crime and stuff, y’know?” Dusty said. “I mean it’s good and all, but this’s one of the only ways I’ll ever get to become a Royal Guard, y’know? ‘Cause it’s a lot harder for mares to get into the Guard for some reason, y’know? Y’know?”

I sincerely hoped that she was simply butchering the use of the phrase ‘you know,’ otherwise my migraine was several times worse than it felt, and it felt like my brain was already going to shut down from the strain of its unwelcomed guest. I simply swallowed my pain and nodded while Dusty continued to ramble.

“Anyway, so did you hear that the entire dungeon is getting shut down the day after tomorrow?” the unclear voice of Dusty asked. I was squinting, but I could make out a stairway coming up on our left, and it probably led down deeper into the dungeon.

“Huh?” Derpy asked.

“Yeah, well, you can’t have a prison without prisoners, y’know? So Celestia’s coming ‘round and doing the official shut-down tomorrow an’ shipping off all thirty or so of the inmates still left. But that means I’ll be out of a job! Well, I guess I don’t technically work here since I’m just, y’know, an intern and stuff, but we have, like, twice as many guards as inmates now. So they’re going to have to go all over the place to work now, y’know?” Dusty replied.

Something about one of her statements seemed a bit odd to me, but my mental capacity was already halved and still plummeting, so I couldn’t quite piece together what was so odd about her statements. Thankfully, Derpy managed to do it for me: “Um, we heard Discord was being kept here in stone. Does that mean he’ll be sent away, too?”

“Oh yeah! About that, yeah, Discord’s stone statue thingy was only temporary, y’know? Like duct tape or a band-aid. Celestia and Luna only kept him there until they could find a way to permanently destroy him, y’know? Like the death penalty and stuff. So I guess she must have found a way or something. Too bad for Discord, y’know? But sometimes I guess that’s just the way it goes, y’know?” Dusty explained.

Derpy was looking increasingly concerned. I suppose, though, that I couldn’t necessarily ascertain that fact because my sight was too blurry to properly see her. She didn’t say anything, either, that would confirm this assumption. Perhaps, as I leaned on her for support, I simply felt her concern, as ridiculous as the notion was.

It was becoming difficult to walk despite her assistance, though. I desperately needed that Winterwort, otherwise I would collapse. My pace slowed to a stop, and I had to sit down. “I-I’m sorry,” I gasped. Every breath was torture, and spots danced in front of my vision. I groped for the pouch around my neck, but the agony from my mind was messing with my senses and I couldn’t find the strap.

“Are you, um, like, okay?” Dusty asked, turning around. “I mean, like, the clinic’s right near here if you need to stop. Something wrong?”

“I-I get headaches,” I said, though the effort was monumental. I heaved, almost vomiting, and clutched my head. I curled into a ball, and then everything went dark.

=====================================================================

When I came to, I felt... odd. Insubstantial. Sluggish. This could either be attributed to the fact that I hadn’t eaten anything since lunch at Carrot Top’s or the ever-present knowledge that I was running out of time.

I adjusted my spectacles and glanced at my surroundings. I still had a headache, but it was less severe, and my eyesight had mostly returned. It was a small nurse’s office, minus the nurse, and I was lying on one of the sterile plastic mats that served as a bed. The walls were white, and there was a sink in the corner, though there were no windows present. On the counter there were various medical supplies along with an odd assortment of knicknacks that appeared to have been dumped there in a hurry.

First things first. I pulled the second root out of my pouch and crunched it between my molars, absorbing the direly needed pain reliever within. Once my head had fully cleared, I went to the sink, washed down my snack, and turned around to see Derpy patiently watching me. I noticed for what must have been the first time the bag of food she was carrying--she must have brought it with her from Carrot Top’s and I had failed to take due note of it.

“Are you okay?” Derpy asked softly.

I gritted my teeth. Derpy’s concern and, for that matter, very polite and submissive way of treating me ever since our conversation was un-Derpy enough to start getting on my nerves. “What has gotten into you, Derpy? Are you afraid that if you’re too audible you’ll blast my eardrums from their sockets?”

“I just don’t wanna make you mad. ‘Cause you’re one of the first friends I’ve ever had, an’ if I make you mad then I’ll lose you,” Derpy whimpered, wiping her eyes. “I just wanna help you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Hmph. Save your effort. Once we free Discord you won’t need me anymore.”

Derpy said nothing. She simply stared at the ground with one eye and to her left with the other, though both eyes expressed equal amounts of lamentation.

“Well?” I prompted. “Aren’t you going to ask me why?”

“I know why,” Derpy said. “‘Cause you think that if Discord makes me smart like you are then I’ll just have friends right away. Just ‘cause I want to have more friends doesn’t mean I don’t want you to be my friend, too, Ditsica.”

I grimaced, contemplating my response. “I suppose. But after I am done with this farce of an adventure, I am going to leave Ponyville as far behind me as I can muster. I have no interest in that tiny little thorp of a town.”

“Why?” Derpy asked.

“Because I--hate--ponies,” I hissed. There was a fire burning within me I hadn’t yet felt prior, though I suppose it was a mix of fury and frustration with all ponykind. “A pony is a pony is a pony. I have no interest in friends and I have no interest in others holding me back or pulling me forward. If I succeed I want it to be on my own terms and if I fail it’s just as well. My principle problem with this whole wild goose chase I’m chained to is that I’ve had to rely on circumstance and the draw of the card. For once in my meager eight-hour life, I would like, for just a moment, to actually control some facet of my destiny.” I took a breath, calming myself. “It would be nice not to have to worry about freeing an ancient evil from the depths of refurbished ruins, because, I suppose, in retrospect, that is all I’ve ever known.”

Derpy tilted her head to the side for a moment, then began to giggle. At first I was slightly miffed, but then once I realized how ridiculous my monologue had become, a faint smile crept its way onto my face.

“I dunno what most of that meant,” Derpy admitted, grinning wide, “but the way you said it was funny.”

I shrugged, the faint smile still lingering. After a moment of contemplation, I found myself saying, “Derpy, if you like... you may call me Ditzy. For the time being, at least.”

Her eyes lit up. “Th-Thanks," she managed.

She held out her forelegs, offering a hug, and my lighthearted smile vanished to be replaced with my usual expression, or rather lack thereof. “Let’s not get carried away.”

“Oh. Sorry, Ditzy,” Derpy said, momentarily disappointed, though she smiled again once she said the nickname she imposed on me when we first met. I noted that I hadn’t seen her smile quite this way before, slightly biting her tongue between her teeth as she grinned happily. However, after a moment of thought, it occurred to me that this may have been her first reason to be genuinely happy in a long time.

I fiddled with my scarf, my emotions clashing though I knew not what emotions nor why. Untangling the threads as well as my tongue, I asked, “Where did that bothersome Dusty go?”

“Oh, she was going to get the manager when you didn’t wake up for a while. But she didn’t come back yet. When we got you here she started looking for something called a walkie-talking and dumped out all her pockets. I guess she didn’t find it,” Derpy shrugged, pointing to the pile of doodads on the counter.

I sifted through it. Nothing seemed to be of use at first glance, though after a minute or two of poking around I uncovered not only Dusty’s set of keys, but also a map of the entire dungeon.

“Eh? What’s this?” I asked.

“Keys and a map,” Derpy said.

“Yes, but... why? No guardspony worth their salt would just toss these on a counter and leave for who-knows-where,” I muttered, trying to make sense of the situation. The presence stroked me again, urging me forward, and I realized, or, rather, hypothesized what had happened. Clearing my throat, I said, “Either Discord has influenced Dusty, or she has been in league with him from the beginning.”

“This seems like a pretty good time to do something like this, too. Not many ponies here, y’know?” She giggled. “I like saying that. ‘Y’know, y’know?’”

I glared at her. “Derpy, there are two types of dumb. One is your type of dumb, where ponies think you’re stupid when you’re only a bit slow. The other type of dumb is when you use phrases like that and actually are.” Seeing that she didn’t completely understand, I stated, simplified, “For the love of Celestia, do not incessantly use ‘y’know.’ It might give me another migraine.”

Derpy looked downcast. “Oh...” She paused, then asked, “Is that why you stopped before? Because of a migraine?”

I nodded. “Yes. A migraine is a very severe form of headache. It’s one of the most painful things in all Equestria.”

“Oh. So like a tummyache, but worse. And in your head instead of your belly,” Derpy said. As she finished her sentence, her stomach rumbled audibly, and she started fishing around in her bag for food.

Although my insides didn’t give the same obvious signal, I too felt the twisting pain of an empty stomach. “May I have one, as well?” I asked politely.

“Why’d you think I brung them, silly?” Derpy chuckled. “Let’s see, do you want banana nut, carrot, zucchini, cinnamon, blueberry, chocolate chip, or corn?”

“Blueberry, please,” I said. What I expected was more along the lines of a hoofful of blueberries, though what I received was a tiny box. Inside was a blueberry muffin.

It was delicious, praise I don’t throw around lightly. Wiping the crumbs from my lips, I asked, “Wherever did you get these?”

“When I’m mad, or when ponies hurt me... Carrot Top has me make these instead of hurting them back. I got good at it after a while,” Derpy said, finishing her carrot cake muffin in three bites. “It’s relaxing. To bake, I guess. Making something instead of breaking something.”

“I’d be lying if I said you didn’t have talent. May I have another?” I asked.

Derpy passed me another Blueberry-flavored pastry, beaming with happiness. “Sure! Thank you so much!”

As I chewed the flavored bread between my teeth, the peculiar bundle of emotions I had felt earlier rose to the surface again, though this time I could identify one of them: remorse. For bringing Derpy into this. Because, were we successful, she would end up like, well, me. And I’m not sure I was okay with that outcome. Not when I had just started to see the real Derpy, the cheerful mare buried under an abusive society. But that was selfish of me, and I knew it, so I dismissed the thought and asked, “Where do we go next?”

“I was just gonna follow you,” Derpy said, throwing the boxes into a nearby trash can and slinging the bag back over her shoulder. “Does the map say where Discord is?”

I spread the map out on the counter and studied it. Try as I might, there didn’t seem to be any specific cell that screamed ‘Discord!’ in bold lettering. “It’s no use. We’re going to have to search every cell by hoof if we want to find him.” I did note, though, that on the edge of the map there was an odd word, ‘Kinzy.’

“Lemee see,” Derpy said. I passed her the map, though I didn’t expect much. After about a minute or waiting, my patience ran out and I prodded her to get moving, but she instead pointed to some staircases on the floor plan. “These don’t make sense.”

“Hmm? Why not?” I asked. To me, they clearly were the staircases leading from the first basement of the castle to one below.

“‘Cause you see how this floor only has four stairs going down? Why does the next floor have eight?” Derpy asked. “It must’ve been really hard to dig through all that dirt. Why do more than you have to?”

I sensed she was on to something, and I pulled the map from her and stared intently at the stairways. Then I saw it--just a tiny sliver, less than a millimeter wide, but when I focused through my spectacles I saw that the stairway Derpy had pointed to was not entirely connected to the floor below. I was too nearsighted to see it the first time.

“...Good job, Derpy,” I hesitantly said. “I guess we know where to go now.”

“Well, what’re we waiting for?” Derpy asked. She ran to the exit, but slammed into the doorway and stumbled backward.

“It’s ‘pull,’ Derpy,” I said.

“Oh,” said Derpy, and she sheepishly pulled on the bar and exited with more caution. After checking to make sure no guards were watching the halls, I followed her lead deeper into the Dungeon.

=====================================================================

Comments

[akatsukislayer]

Aww that ending was so cute

[Cenitopius]

*Reads description*
*Judges book by front cover*
*Puts on read later list*
It's funny because it's true. See ya when I read ya!

[cheerilee-party-hard]

Good chapter as usual! However;

Her eyes lit up. “Th-Thanks, she managed.”

Should be:

Her eyes lit up. “Th-Thanks." She managed.

Other than that, it looks good!

[Griffomo13]

Daww, Ditsaca does care

[DeltaΔ]

I think because of the close proximity of Discord. He's able to just hand out idiot balls.

[ervn92]

another great chapter¡

[HikariToYami]

The ending = Cute

the entire thing = I like dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_rape.png

[MahagonyCloud]

1154471
Alright. Who's Spitfire raping this time? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire.png Damn, that's seductive. XD

Anyway. Amazing chapter, glad this one came out much faster. Much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much faster. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy.png But yeah. Amazing chapter. Expect more amazing chapters like this... Not necessarily soon, considering you. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_lazy.png

[Csquared08]

I have come to the conclusion that I have no idea how this story is going to end.

Can't wait to find out! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png

[DiscordBrony]

This is so great! Give me more!!!

[Luminous Lead]

Much more fun a read now that Ditzica's not focused on using others as prison keys.

Wow, given how this all started, I have a feeling this is going to go full circle.