Marshall is in a rut, drifting without a purpose. Rarity is in a rut, looking for inspiration. By chance they meet, despite living in different universes, and find what they're yearning for with the aid of the other.
Fair warning:
Out of necessity (for various reasons), the story is told from the point of view of an original character. Character interaction and development is an integral part of the story's plot, and said plot really takes its time to unfold. Also, there's a man-to-mare element, although it takes a backseat to the main elements of the story. If you don't care much for any of those things, you may want to pass this story up.
...Also, I haven't watched My Little Pony: Romance is Magic, so bear that in mind when you consider reading this story. 
Additional tags: lighthearted; adventure.
An interesting story with the manners to ask before you dimensionally drag someone to Equestria. Fave and liked.
Huh, I like.
Just about right for characterization and how an average joe would react in this situation. Somewhat unique too, that's pretty rare in this genre.
How in the hell do you pronounce that title????
6814906 There are several ways, but I personally use what sounds like the British sample found at this site: Cambridge Dictionaries Online.
Wow, not even four words in and this already relates to my life. It's the ultimate question!
Canned ravioli is dog food. Ramen is the way to go. Seriously cans of ravioli are cheaper than cans of dog food. Homemade ravioli on the other talon are awesome and tasty.
Most promising story of the subgenre in recent days. I shall be watching that.
Please don't drop it, please don't drop it, please don't drop it...
i cant wait to see more of this and were it goes liked and faved
Love it can't wait for the next chapter!
So far, the writing is pretty good!
9/10 from me!
Honestly? I'm a little shocked he didn't get his Cutie Mark right then and there. I know that if I felt myself wielding real magic I'd just about burst from sheer joy.
Twilight
Twilight you don't understand
THAT IS THE ESSENCE OF THE PONY!
OK, easy jibe at clotheshorse aside, this was another fun chapter. Had me a bit worried for a little there that something truly sinister was going on, but I'm glad to see that the plot is moving in a direction that is meaningful without being extremely overblown.
Slipper slope.
At which point would he feel more natural in the Rari-clone than his own body?
This setting seems quite the 'trend' of male turned mare in our opinion, which aft first diminishes the story's appeal. Though perhaps Sparkle could modify the construct later on while he's away to better 'suit' him, since many humans would have a issue as for identity crisis, if he was a level headed critical thinker he would the moment his eyes opened in that world assume that his brain chemistry has been altered compared to his human form.
Some could say it can be taken in dark turns, since for example they could turn him into a bimbo the next time he entered it. etc, but yes magic gives many a childish wonder until somehow it bites them on the butt, or his 'whimsical' jaunt into this world uprooted by the terrors that lurk there. Because he'd be utterly helpless if attacked or 'foalnapped' by someone half decent, thou gets the idea of that the amounts of danger compared between both worlds would leave the pony world as higher.
Another Great chapter, I love how detailed you are with your descriptions. Like the little detail to the fact that his mane looked blurry close up. I can tell you put a lot of time into this and thinking about the details. Great job!
6845744 I've chosen for the magic behind the cutie marks to be... circumspect might be the word I'm looking for. The series really mangled whether it's destiny or choice, or a combination thereof, that decides cutie marks, but I've observed enough characters who were already doing what they liked, and didn't get their cutie mark immediately, to achieve what I'm going for in the way that I am.
6846314 Well, I hope I don't disappoint. I prefer character interaction and growth over antagonists and arbitrary scenarios directly aimed at catching the reader's interest, so...
6846900 Thanks. I'm doing the best that I can, but my brain's a bit of a sieve. For example, I forgot that there was flora in the cave, so I had to go back and add that little detail in there long after that chapter had been published. It also isn't easy that I know next to nothing about the things that Rarity makes her livelihood with, so I get to have fun making it look like I know what I'm writing about.
6859268
Ah, so it's "Cutie Mark Crusader Syndrome," it's not enough for it to be his special talent, there needs to be an honest-to-goodness life-changing epiphany to go along with it; something along the lines of "Applejack belongs with her family," or "Pinkie Pie wants nothing more than to make ponies smile," or even "Rainbow Dash loves to go fast."
So the protagonist used magic for the first time, and it was amazing, but he didn't really learn anything from it other than "Magic is even cooler than I thought!" meanwhile, if he'd had an epiphany on the level of "this is more important to me than going home," he would have probably gotten the aforementioned cutie mark. Spoilered just in case I accidentally guessed a major plot point.
6859319 Well, being elated about magic in the general sense isn't a talent or epiphany. I also wanted to note that Twilight Sparkle had her epiphany long before she got her cutie mark, and was already doing what she desired to do for just as long, but it was after a freak accident/achievement that she finally got it. I'm basically saying that you don't have to worry about that potential spoiler.
6859565
Ah, so, in other words, "it's complicated."
He never acknowledges the presence of any other human beings. It's like they don't exist. Only him, his computer, his ramen, his meat slicer, his job, and such like that. He mentioned about family once, but never interacted with anyone. He seems like the kind of person who doesn't have any worth as a human being, and just goes by detesting others so much that he doesn't even willingly acknowledge that they exist. He also makes sure to prioritize eating above communicating with Rarity. Really he sounds like a very unhealthy, and unpleasant person, with a terrible life and extremely poor health if he thinks ramen and ravioli are cheaper than healthy food.
6863773 That's certainly a... strange way of perceiving things.
Ravioli! Ravioli! KCUF RAMEN EAT DA RAVIOLI!
6863773 Ramen is cheaper than "healthy" food depending on where you get it. Also we just never saw any interactions with other people doesn't mean he never had any. Actually he does talk to his boss a few times.
and watch that, when Marshall goes back over and, magic being magic, he's still a pony.
Awesome chapter! I even learned a new word from it milieu
I wish more people were reading this. I think the title and the picture are not enticing enough for people to pick it up. The title makes sense to me but I wasn't sure what it was at first. The description is also a little ambiguous. I'm definitely glad I started reading it but I'm not sure I would've had someone not recommended it to me.
6963714 Personally, I'm okay with the light traffic. I think it's unlikely that this story will ever be featured, and I'm hoping that it stays that way — at least until the story's finished. Otherwise, my ideal form of traffic is through word of mouth, rather than preying on people's interests to get attention, because then I have a better idea of my story's actual merit.
I've considered changing the synopsis, but I haven't been able to think of a better way of presenting the premise in so few words. Beyond that, I'll just let people look at what groups the story's in to get a better idea of what's inside.
In case you were wondering: the next chapter should be ready in the next twenty-four hours; forty-eight, at the latest.
6964324 *Squee* I can't wait for it
And yeah, I can see what you mean in terms of traffic and as long as it's something you're not super concerned about then it doesn't matter much
I think it is the result of connection between Rarity and Marshall, so even visual data is transmitted and goes both ways.
6964324 Actually it's featured right now.
I would just like to point out one small mistake: In the story, Rainbow Dash offers Marshall a stay at her house, but no-one mentions how Marshall couldn't stay in her house, due to it being constructed out of clouds, and only certain species can walk on clouds (griffons, pegasi, alicorns, and possibly winged dragons and breezies. Oh, and birds).
6968407 yea i saw it too on the front page. Sadly after reading the chapter it wasnt their any more
. But a great chapter anyways! I dont know why but ive been finding myself enjoying slice of life stories lately (as in the past year
) would like to expand on my thoughts. But typing on a phone is real taxing.
I like the story tis... intriguing.
I'm not sure how far ahead you have planned for this story but. I have an idea just for some plot twists or something a rather. I think that after a while of switching bodies his body or rather rarity's mirror body could get a little merged or changed to merge with twilight's color pattern or for more dramatic effect wings. forgive me if I am wrong. I haven't read back for awhile but twilight uses her magic to transfer him, or maybe he gets a little magic in his normal body or something but these are just ideas and nothing more
6968407
6968420
It was only there for an instant? Thank goodness. I think this story isn't ripe enough for that kind of exposure. I really dodged a bullet, there.
6968413
Don't worry, I've got it covered. And if the first explanation doesn't work (it's not explicitly canon), I've got a backup that's canon.
6968424
I've pretty much gotten all of the major plot points mapped out. I don't want to spoil anything, so what I'll say is that some of those ideas — or something like them — won't be irrelevant down the road.
Very smooth of you, Twilight.
Very smooth of you, Applejack.
I just had a thought. While human, he should've looked up "Weird Al" Yankovic's song "Tacky" on YouTube while Rarity was watching. Her reaction would've been priceless!
Interesting premise for a story. Looking forward to where it goes.
This reminds me to some degree of "My Voice in a Head." Hopefully this one won't go on a year-long (and running) hiatus.
You might want to tone down the purple prose. Big words may sound nice, but they can be quite wearing on the reader.
7003197
I intend to work on this until it's finished. I just tend to work slow, is all.
7003527
I'm afraid that's not purple prose. I'm surprised that anyone would say so: not only because this is the first time anyone has, but because what I'm usually told is that my writing is dry, which is pretty much the opposite. I could be wrong, though, depending on exactly what you're referring to. I might be so accustomed to thinking of my writing as being dry that I have mental blinders to any incidents of purple prose.
If i remember correctly, Marshall's form IS, after all, based on Rarity's, right? it at least makes some sense that they would have a connection of some sort, right?
7006917
well that corrrect for body is the same when he choose the correct colour that Rarity didn't expect that he know and the reason he know which color is the correct one it because singular cortex area.Singular cortex area is part of your brain that allow you focus intensely and become more creative.Since they both had the same body , making Marshall to choose the correct colour.
I'm just waiting for the first time he needs to hit the little fills room or Big Mac hits on the wrong Rarity. Or Rarity decides he would be a good subject for a game of dress up and his coat needs to be dyed.
7006917
Right. I won't explain the specifics right now, though, because the next chapter will cover that.
7007090
All I'll say to that is that I'll gloss over certain bodily functions, like the show does.
shouldn't he have a human version of his mental breakdown? Also his whole life he knew himself as a male, wouldn't Twilight try to fix that potential long term issue by turning his barrowed equine form into a stallion? likely with input from Rarity on his looks wound be rather funny, in a way it could be a weird science reference.
7007396
He had a mental breakdown before? That aside, doing that would really complicate things for me, and give the story a tone that I wouldn't care for.
As for the subject of gender: that will be addressed in the next chapter.
7007454 He cried from his first moment being on the 'other side' and wasn't simply crazy, the mirror pool cave..
7007513
Oh, that? That's not a mental breakdown. Now that I know what you're talking about... I'm not sure why he would have a similar event, what would cause it, or why.